It's my policy not to date anyone under 20, because they are still basically children to me. I'll stay with that twenty minimum well into my thirties(hopeful but still) But that's my rule do whatever the fuck you wanna do.
Relationship Question - age gaps UPDATE
- Thread starter Auron225
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Me and my fiancee have been together for over ten years. I'm 34 and she's 27... do the math on that one and you'll see we started dating when she was 17 (well 16... she turned 17 a month after we started dating) It can work if the younger is more mature than the average person their age.
As for the high school formal thing in two years don't worry about it, if it's anything like the school my lady attended if you're over the legal drinking age you're not allowed to attend such events as a date (you know cutting down on that teenage drinking and all)
As for the high school formal thing in two years don't worry about it, if it's anything like the school my lady attended if you're over the legal drinking age you're not allowed to attend such events as a date (you know cutting down on that teenage drinking and all)
On the other side of the story, there was someone which I really really like, and he's eight years older than I am. If anything, I think it'd be better to wait until she's older, and get to know her better first.
Well you can date but this is extremely unlikely to last. Remember your teenage years and how everything would turn around for you day after day. Someone who is only just now getting to know themselves doesn't work out as a long term partner, sure she is crushing on you now and in a month it will be someone completely different.
But it never hurts to hang out, who knows it might go against all odds and she ends up being a steady partner.
But it never hurts to hang out, who knows it might go against all odds and she ends up being a steady partner.
The Sexual Offences Act 2003 in the United Kingdom specifically outlaws teachers having sex with one of their students, even if they are above the age of consent (16), but under eighteen. They are considered to be in a "position of trust". The age of consent does not change.Colin Bagley said:
Don't burn a bridge if you think things could change. Be honest with her, but respectful. Offer to be friends so that you can get to know each other and see where it goes.
Alarm bells.
Especially if her dad if enthusiastic about it.
"Yes, 22 year old man, please engage in a romantic relationship with my daughter." - Said no father ever.
Age gap matters more the younger you are. Reason is difference in matureness. Now, that is a general rule, so exceptions are plenty.
In all likeliness that will not end up as a more permanent state so go for it if you fancy her too. Age gap or not people should fell free to be with whoever they want (well with some exception for safety/health reasons). And if it really stands the turbulent tests of relationships, all the better for you.
In all likeliness that will not end up as a more permanent state so go for it if you fancy her too. Age gap or not people should fell free to be with whoever they want (well with some exception for safety/health reasons). And if it really stands the turbulent tests of relationships, all the better for you.
I see little problem and would even consider it a pretty ordinary occurrence. Back when I was still in highschool (or the Dutch equivalent of it) girls of that age dating guys that were well into their 20's was more the norm then an exception.
Yeah, that would be really awkward.Auron225 said:
My advice? Be her friend, wait 2 years for her to get out, and then try dating her if you think you two are compatible. Then there is no awkwardness in school and you'll know if you two are compatible.
Me personally, I (would like to) date women who are either 2 years younger or 2 years older then I. Since I'm 21, my perfect age range is 19-23. Anything younger or older is too creepy for me.
I'm 27(nearly 28) and I'm investigating the possibilities of the ".5x+7" rule....
There's this girl I go to school with who's apparently AWESOME.
I've known her for 3 class days (like 12 hours), she's on a very similar wavelength to me, she's a Game Design major like I am, sweet, funny, a geeky internet creature, and goddamn gorgeous......but she's 20 - about to turn 21.
.5x+7 x=27 =20.5
.5x+7 x=28 =21
That puts me in the clear, right?
I'm hesitant...
Not sure why.
Probably because she's 4 years younger than my younger brother...
Mind you, she might not be interested at all, so it might not matter.
...or she might be.
I'm pretty massively TERRIBLE at picking up on that.
There's this girl I go to school with who's apparently AWESOME.
I've known her for 3 class days (like 12 hours), she's on a very similar wavelength to me, she's a Game Design major like I am, sweet, funny, a geeky internet creature, and goddamn gorgeous......but she's 20 - about to turn 21.
.5x+7 x=27 =20.5
.5x+7 x=28 =21
That puts me in the clear, right?
I'm hesitant...
Not sure why.
Probably because she's 4 years younger than my younger brother...
Mind you, she might not be interested at all, so it might not matter.
...or she might be.
I'm pretty massively TERRIBLE at picking up on that.
Well, I'm 17 and my girlfriend is 23 and there are no issues what so ever, but taking the whole teacher/student thing into account, the rumors that might pop up could be a problem, but hey, I've seen similar situations work out just fine.
Get to know her. If you guys click, and, as people, fit together, then go for it, don't let age stop you.
Get to know her. If you guys click, and, as people, fit together, then go for it, don't let age stop you.
The age gap in general DOESN'T bother me.
What bothers me is that she's still in school. And (for my part of the US at least) underage. Me personally, I'd get to know her as a friend (which I have no problem with in general) and wait until she turned 21 before I attempted to get into a relationship with. And encourage her to try and date others in the meantime.
I've done this before and the other person involved wound up getting into a long term relationship with someone more on the same wavelengths at the same point in life as them and were happier than they'd be with me which makes me happier
What bothers me is that she's still in school. And (for my part of the US at least) underage. Me personally, I'd get to know her as a friend (which I have no problem with in general) and wait until she turned 21 before I attempted to get into a relationship with. And encourage her to try and date others in the meantime.
I'm going to go ahead and address this as 2 issues. The age gap is a little awkward now, but ask yourself if you would feel strange dating her in 2 years? In 4? As for my opinion, I don't really think there's anything wrong with that age gap, it's awkward, but not wrong.Auron225 said:
However, there is something very wrong with a teacher dating a student who goes to the same school they teach at. It's a power dynamic thing. When one party in a relationship has that kind of authority over another, it's never a good idea. So, if you're going to end up teaching at the school she attends, I think it would be wrong to date her until after she graduates, even if nothing physical were to happen.
I've been in that EXACT same situation during my internship, with a few extra monkey wrenches thrown in for good measure (the girl was 17, but I was 25 at the time (side note: where I live, that's pretty old to still be in university), and she's Roman Catholic and I'm an atheist. Also, I'm an English teacher).
That said, I've dated girls WAY younger than me (I was 22, she was 17) and I find that the real problem is maturity: girls, especially really young girls (and maybe guys too, I dunno. I was more interested in D&D and Magic when I was 17) still have that over-idealized vision of romance where if you're not thinking of each other 24/7, then something is wrong, and that makes a real, adult relationship difficult.
That said, I've dated girls WAY younger than me (I was 22, she was 17) and I find that the real problem is maturity: girls, especially really young girls (and maybe guys too, I dunno. I was more interested in D&D and Magic when I was 17) still have that over-idealized vision of romance where if you're not thinking of each other 24/7, then something is wrong, and that makes a real, adult relationship difficult.
The age gap doesn't matter nearly as much as what people's ages are (if that makes sense). In other words, it's not the fact that she's 6-7 years younger than you, it's the fact that she's 16.Auron225 said:
Almost universally, people change quite a lot between their mid to late teens and into their 20's. I can tell you right now I'm practically a whole different person than from when I was 16. The girl who you fancy now with her personality at 16 might be a very different person at 22.
On a purely professional level, this sounds like it could also cause serious career problems for you if you're going to be working at the school she goes to.