Relationship Woes...

[Trivun]

Okay, bit of a misleading title here, this thread isn't really about 'relationship woes' per se. And yes, I did read Cracked yesterday. No, the main thing here is a bit of a rant, and then an invitation for you all to share your stories of relationship troubles, or rather, 'lack of relationship' issues, as and when they may be.

Bit of background - you've all probably heard of OKCupid, yes? If you haven't heard in general then you'll know from that whole 'Gizmondo-MtG-hating-slanderous-*****' story that's been doing the rounds recently online. Anyway, I have an account on there. Not because I feel I need one exactly, but because I was doing some of the quizzes when bored, so thought "ah what the hell, I may as well set up a profile, and if I meet anyone nice through it then great". Fast forward to February of this year. I started talking on the site to this really nice girl in my university city. She was living there and running her dad's business as he was suffering poor health, and we got on well enough that we exchanged phone numbers. As she stopped using the site, we chatted on the phone and texted, but after a short while we just stopped staying in touch. Just one of those things. Fast forward again, to roughly a month and a half ago. Out of the blue, still with my phone number, she texted me to say she'd changed her number, and had moved to the Midlands which she noticed through Facebook was where I'd gone. It's my home area, and she's at university nearby, so we started texting again. Then I replied to a text a week and a half ago, she still hasn't replied, and although it's no big deal I kind of wonder why she bothered getting back in touch if she was just going to stop speaking to me again with no explanation.

So I was thinking about this today, and another thing popped into my head. Again, nothing major, just that when I was at a music festival recently I gave my phone number to a girl I was interested in, and hoped she'd call or text, but nothing so far. All this kind of made me think about giving up on love or finding a girl and having a relationship. Then I watched The Inbetweeners Movie today, and (trying to avoid spoilers) I realised that for at least some of them, love and relationships end up pretty happy and go well. It made me realise that there's hope for everyone, even me, and that somewhere there's the right girl for me.

Cliche, I know, but still. You're probably wondering why I'm writing all this online. There's no real reason, I guess, except I don't have a blog or anything and I just wanted to vent. I understand that the forums aren't the place for this, but it's about a topic open for all to discuss, and hopefully my story will provoke some meaningful commentary and discussion on the whole theme and situation. Anyway.

This brings me onto the topic of the thread. I'm not asking for advice in my situation, though any given would be more than welcome. No, in this thread, I want to hear your tales of relationship issues. Whether they're good or bad, whether it's simply your despair at a complete lack of a love life or how you and your partner met and got together, I want to hear all sides. At the end of the day, I'm fed up of my own sorry tales of failing to 'get the girl', as it were, and just want to know that there is still hope out there, however minute it may be...

TL;DR: Screw you, and just read it through. I'm not summarising at the bottom like this for you lazy ignorant gits...

[small]EDIT: Oh, and please don't try linking one of the other 'is love worth it' or other relationship threads here. I know they're recent, and normally I do check the search bar. This time I decided to ignore it. And search bar Nazis are one of the things I loathe, for the record...[/small]

 

[staika]

Well during my senior year of high school there was this girl in one of my classes, now she wasn't drop dead gorgeous or anything but she had similar interests as me and we got along fine but she had a boyfriend already so I just kinda backed off. Well after graduating she and her boyfriend broke up and while I was going to try and console her (honest) she seemed pretty down and thanked me but a week later she changed her phone number and I basically haven't heard from her since.

So this year I just got into a new major in college and yesterday while going to a whole major orientation it turns out there are a lot of cute girls in my major so I was very excited about my class. Fast forward to today it turns out my class is all guys and now any chance of meeting someone in my major will have to wait till hopefully next year.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

Eh, this is pretty commonplace. You feel insecure so you're going to read something personal into it. It's hard to get together with people. Unless you're working together or you've been friends for a long time, your lives just don't intersect, and it's easy to become an afterthought overnight. Maybe she met someone else. Maybe something arose in her personal life that demanded a lot of time and attention. Who knows. If I have any advice, it's not to freak out too much about being in a relationship. When you've been single a long time it seems like the end of the fucking world if you don't have a girlfriend, and then when you've been in a relationship for a while you long for the carefree days of being single. Being single isn't so bad. Just relax and do good things and before you know it you'll be up to your neck in relationships.

 

[pubbing]

Stuff.....

Have you tried the obvious thing to do and ask her to hang out or have you just been texting. Because if you haven't asked her to hang out after she has practically said that she wants to by saying she is in the same area as you are at the moment, then she probably stopped replying because she felt like it was a lost cause.

I don't know but this just seems pretty obvious to me.

 

[Trivun]

Hmmm, it's a bit more complicated than that. We're in the same county, but not the same area, strictly speaking. I don't know how well you know the UK, but she's living in Worcester and I'm in Wednesbury, which is a small town, with a 35 mile distance or thereabouts between the two. And there's not really much in the way of transport between the two places, plus I can't drive until my parents renew their car insurance with me added next month, so there's that too.

Truth be told, I didn't mention this in the OP because it's her business and no-one else's, but I did mention that her dad had been suffering health problems - she told me he passed away near the end of June, so my last text to her included my condolences. I'm not sure if that's got anything to do with it, or not, but the main point here is that I can't really ask her to hang out when we're not close enough geographically to do so...

 

[SckizoBoy]

No, in this thread, I want to hear your tales of relationship issues. Whether they're good or bad, whether it's simply your despair at a complete lack of a love life or how you and your partner met and got together, I want to hear all sides. At the end of the day, I'm fed up of my own sorry tales of failing to 'get the girl', as it were, and just want to know that there is still hope out there, however minute it may be...

That's quite a round about way of asking for anecdotes... though I think I've recounted mine so many times (perhaps in bits and pieces scattered across the Esc's forums) that I don't think you need more depressing...

I will summarise as follows: sad boy meets sad girl; six years; event; sad becomes crazy; sad boy and sad girl separate. Now: sad boy still in love with sad girl.

 

[Xeraxis]

Then I watched The Inbetweeners Movie today, and (trying to avoid spoilers) I realised that for at least some of them, love and relationships end up pretty happy and go well. It made me realise that there's hope for everyone, even me, and that somewhere there's the right girl for me.

For once, I'm going to spare everybody my own "woe is me, I'm a disgusting, horrific freak who no woman will ever love" story, and just say this: You're talking about a movie, a work of fiction where things don't have to be realistic. Things almost always seem to turn out well for protagonists of movies where romance is involved, simply because it's expected. That doesn't mean that it happens in real life.

Not to sound demeaning, but RAK is right. If the movie had the guy not romantically involved by the end, audiences would degrade the movie more than if the guy protagonist did "get the girl". It's just something that is cliche and expected. I pretty much see it in almost EVERY movie, someway and somehow.

However, on another note, I have been very unlucky with women pretty much during my life. Being that I just recently started college (and enjoying it very much), I just hope that things will change for the better.

 

[archvile93]

I don't have many problems in relationships since I've never been in one. I just don't see the benifit, especially considering all the time and resources it costs. The closest I ever got was when some girl gave me her number, no idea why. I didn't know her, she gave it to me without a word and left, didn't even get a good look at her. I never did call her, didn't seem worth the risk; wouldn't have surprised me if it was some kind of trick anyway.

 

[Sightless Wisdom]

My current situation is one of complete confusion. The thing is there are two different girls, on of them currently in another relationship, and the one whom I thought I would ask out until she got into said relationship slightly too soon for me to get there. There other girl is one I barely know but seems like the perfect girl for me, she however may or may not be tied up as well. The problem is I don't know which I really like more or whether or not I can do anything about either of them.

On top of this I've had a bad history of relationships not really working out. So, yeah I just don't know what if anything I should be doing right now.

 

[elilupe]

Well, currently happening now, there is a girl who plays flute in my school wind ensemble(in which I play the oboe) who I have had a minor crush on for a few years now. We have always been sort-of acquaintances but never great, hang-out-on-the-weekends friends. Only recently have these feelings become more pronounced(as in, I'm in love) as I have recently begun to (sort of) become better friends with her. The only thing is, suddenly, this other kid has seemingly appeared out of nowhere, and she is taking...interest in him. I always see them talking and such, and they recently had a 700+ comment conversation on Facebook. It is pretty obvious they are going to go on a date soon. The final punch in the gut for me is that for the around 5 years I have known her, she has been completely single, and only now that I was getting close to starting something, this other guy pops up out of no where. I've been more depressed than ever these past days, and I just can't get over it. The best I can hope for is they go on a date and don't like each other, the worst is a Jim and Pam from the office situation, where I wait...for a very long time for me to get close to her and her to realize she doesn't like this other guy.
*Sigh*