Reliable Source: Furniture, Marijuana and Bobby Kotick

wilsonscrazybed

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Dec 16, 2007
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Reliable Source: Furniture, Marijuana and Bobby Kotick

This week on Reliable Source: Furniture, Marijuana and Bobby Kotick!

Read Full Article
 

Higurashi

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Jan 23, 2008
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Unsurprisingly, I found the marijuana article to be the most interesting. Too bad it's a gateway drug, huh. Nice lil' comical touches here and there. I'll definitely follow this feature.
 

scnj

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Nov 10, 2008
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Oh man, I hope this becomes a regular feature. Really hilarious.
 

HentMas

The Loneliest Jedi
Apr 17, 2009
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this sounds like those news where they jump from article to article, there was good satirical comedy but i dont think this works that well as "news clippings", why don´t you try to make a 1-2 minute video only with voice and a few pics, you even dont need to use your own voice if you use "vocaloid" and any decent google search should be able to come up with a few worthy pics on the subjects.

just a thougth, these kind of Jokes tend to be more "auditive" than "visual".
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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Egads, this is just too good. Probably my favorite column on the site so far.
 

ghalkhsdkssakgh

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Jul 16, 2009
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Is anyone else here imagining Niko Bellic with the munchies after reading this article?
Ploughing his car through pedestrians in an effort to get a Whitecastle Burger.
Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, good article. Hope this becomes regular.
 

bodyklok

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Feb 17, 2008
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Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
You haven't figured it out yet? Nilcypher and wilsonscrazybed are the same person. Wilcypher. It's quite obvious really.
 

bodyklok

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Feb 17, 2008
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xitel said:
bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
You haven't figured it out yet? Nilcypher and wilsonscrazybed are the same person. Wilcypher. It's quite obvious really.
I know you're joking, but now that you've said it, it makes perfect sense.

Still not a good excuse for why nilcypher isn't still doing 'the week in review' though.
 

Logan Westbrook

Transform, Roll Out, Etc
Feb 21, 2008
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bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
Not done it in a while? Look at the date on the article you've linked, it's from Saturday.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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hehe, that just brightened up my dull day, thank you.


Fat Man Spoon said:
I like the bit about doing a barrel roll as a cure for headaches.
its what I do for mine
 

bodyklok

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nilcypher said:
bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
Not done it in a while? Look at the date on the article you've linked, it's from Saturday.
Oh, well, errr... so it is. Umm... Well I just hadn't seen it in a while, and then because of that I didn't bother to check the date on that article. Since I assumed it was old.

My point still stands thought, The week in review and Reliable Source do seem to serve the same purpose, really though, I'm just wondering what Reliable Source is actually for. Is it a summery of events? Or is it more like an independent news source?
 

WrongSprite

Resident Morrowind Fanboy
Aug 10, 2008
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bodyklok said:
nilcypher said:
bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
Not done it in a while? Look at the date on the article you've linked, it's from Saturday.
Oh, well, errr... so it is. Umm... Well I just hadn't seen it in a while, and then because of that I didn't bother to check the date on that article. Since I assumed it was old.

My point still stands thought, The week in review and Reliable Source do seem to serve the same purpose, really though, I'm just wondering what Reliable Source is actually for. Is it a summery of events? Or is it more like an independent news source?
Erm. I'll assume that the difference is that Nil's is real events, while Wilsons appear to be made up for comedy effect?

Unless you think guitar hero has actually trademarked music....
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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bodyklok said:
xitel said:
bodyklok said:
Isn't this a lot like nilcyphers 'The week in review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/7.129595]'? I know he hasn't done it in a while, I'm really just wondering if it's been discontinued.
You haven't figured it out yet? Nilcypher and wilsonscrazybed are the same person. Wilcypher. It's quite obvious really.
I know you're joking, but now that you've said it, it makes perfect sense.
Joking? You must not have heard me correctly. Why else would nilcypher have suddenly appeared when his column was mentioned in the comments of Wilson's column?
 

GonzoGamer

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Apr 9, 2008
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How the hell was I not involved in the gta/weed study.
That's a typical Thursday night for me anyway.

I could've given them those findings years ago. Although, there was that time I drove over the GWB singing "Eminence Front" and hurling molotovs at the Jersy state police, but that was like once out of the 50 times I smoked half an oz and played San Andreas.
 

Cavouku

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Mar 14, 2008
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...Smoking pot helps video game violence? What did they do, give each guy who took the test a car and a city? Oh well, I still think there are definitely better ways to stop video game violence, like, the fact I don't think it happens, and is a person thing, but it was comical. I accept this comically.
 

NewClassic_v1legacy

Bringer of Words
Jul 30, 2008
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I feel like I just witnessed a terrible wreck on a high-speed interstate. Two cultures having slammed nose-first into one another. The warped, carbonized-alumin(i)um crushed into one another made a shape vaguely recognizable to the passers-by. Instead of making a big deal out of wreck, the two drivers simply sat down in their new hybridized vehicle and continued on the way.

Traffic collision metaphors aside, I do feel like someone slammed 1Up into The Onion and they both carried on as if nothing happened. It's a good thing, and results in some excellent writing. Fantastic column, nilson, and I look forward to the next coming.
 

poleboy

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May 19, 2008
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I am utterly disappointed and outraged that someone - who is not me - is being paid to smoke pot and play GTA!
 

bue519

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Higurashi said:
Unsurprisingly, I found the marijuana article to be the most interesting. Too bad it's a gateway drug, huh. Nice lil' comical touches here and there. I'll definitely follow this feature.
Marijuana is about as much a "gate-way" drug as milk is.
EDIT: Or is in some cases an anti-gateway drug.
http://www.dosenation.com/listing.php?smlid=6449
 

GamerPhate

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Aug 22, 2008
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bue519 said:
Higurashi said:
Unsurprisingly, I found the marijuana article to be the most interesting. Too bad it's a gateway drug, huh. Nice lil' comical touches here and there. I'll definitely follow this feature.
Marijuana is about as much a "gate-way" drug as milk is.
The only reason it could even be remotely called a gatway drug is the factor it is placed in the same bunch as all the rest, and that is the illegal category. So therefore, the "store" you buy it from might be out of stock of what you normally buy, and you even though you normally don't change brands, you might get bored or curious and that is where the factor comes into play. So all they have to do, is make pot legal and sell it in store, and now it isn't a gatway drug. The system MAKES it a gateway drug.

But most people that educate themselves and don't just take the government's word have learned there is a whole world out there the average person is blinded to being able to see. Your synapse has yet to be seperated long enough to experience another side of life you have yet to understand. Take the red pill.. take the blue pill.. its up to you.. sleep or wake up.. what ever.. I don't care...

Actually, I think its chewing gum that is the original gateway drug. In school, kids look around to see if anyone is looking and asks, got any gum, man? GUM is the gateway drug..

*edit* I need 3 more posts to hit 420 :)
 

hansari

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wilsonscrazybed said:
Reliable Source: Furniture, Marijuana and Bobby Kotick

This week on Reliable Source: Furniture, Marijuana and Bobby Kotick!

Read Full Article
That was hilarious...encore!
 

walls of cetepedes

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Jul 12, 2009
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Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
I like the bit about doing a barrel roll as a cure for headaches.
its what I do for mine
You have a spaceship?
You mean you don't have a spaceship?!

...wow, awkward...
Oh, of course I do. I was simply pondering what someone of ''your'' social ranking was doing with a spaceship. In fact, you stole it, didn't you?
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
I like the bit about doing a barrel roll as a cure for headaches.
its what I do for mine
You have a spaceship?
You mean you don't have a spaceship?!

...wow, awkward...
Oh, of course I do. I was simply pondering what someone of ''your'' social ranking was doing with a spaceship. In fact, you stole it, didn't you?
If by "steal" you mean aquire from a dead person than yes, I did "steal" it.

What? The dude was dead, there's no law against grave robbing.
Plus he's dead, its not like he's going to use it anytime soon.
 

walls of cetepedes

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Irridium said:
If by "steal" you mean aquire from a dead person than yes, I did "steal" it.

What? The dude was dead, there's no law against grave robbing.
Plus he's dead, its not like he's going to use it anytime soon.
What kind of spaceship is it?
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
If by "steal" you mean aquire from a dead person than yes, I did "steal" it.

What? The dude was dead, there's no law against grave robbing.
Plus he's dead, its not like he's going to use it anytime soon.
What kind of spaceship is it?
Well, if you must know, it is a Flying Scaucer with a modest weapons system and can travel at standard light speeds.

Its nothing fancy, but it gets me from point A to point B.


I don't need any of your hoity toity fancy pants ships.
 

walls of cetepedes

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Jul 12, 2009
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Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
If by "steal" you mean aquire from a dead person than yes, I did "steal" it.

What? The dude was dead, there's no law against grave robbing.
Plus he's dead, its not like he's going to use it anytime soon.
What kind of spaceship is it?
Well, if you must know, it is a Flying Scaucer with a modest weapons system and can travel at standard light speeds.

Its nothing fancy, but it gets me from point A to point B.


I don't need any of your hoity toity fancy pants ships.
What the hell man?! You stole my servent's ship?!
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Fat Man Spoon said:
What the hell man?! You stole my servent's ship?!
Hey, your servent shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition, left it unlocked, and put it outside.

If anything, I liberated the thing from the hands of incompetence.
 

walls of cetepedes

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Jul 12, 2009
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Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
What the hell man?! You stole my servent's ship?!
Hey, your servent shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition, left it unlocked, and put it outside.

If anything, I liberated the thing from the hands of incompetence.
Just one word of advice: Don't upon the trunk.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
What the hell man?! You stole my servent's ship?!
Hey, your servent shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition, left it unlocked, and put it outside.

If anything, I liberated the thing from the hands of incompetence.
Just one word of advice: Don't upon the trunk.
Thanks, but I've, um, whats the right word, aquired used vehicles in the past, I know what to open and what to not open.
 

walls of cetepedes

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Jul 12, 2009
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Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
What the hell man?! You stole my servent's ship?!
Hey, your servent shouldn't have left the keys in the ignition, left it unlocked, and put it outside.

If anything, I liberated the thing from the hands of incompetence.
Just one word of advice: Don't upon the trunk.
Thanks, but I've, um, whats the right word, aquired used vehicles in the past, I know what to open and what to not open.
Or the glove compartment. He used to keep land mines in there.
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Fat Man Spoon said:
Or the glove compartment. He used to keep land mines in there.
Huh, I just thought they were cookie holders, its a good thing I didn't try opening them yet. Thanks for the heads up
 

walls of cetepedes

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Jul 12, 2009
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Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Or the glove compartment. He used to keep land mines in there.
Huh, I just thought they were cookie holders, its a good thing I didn't try opening them yet. Thanks for the heads up
Hey, no problem. I realised that I could claim the insurance. Enjoy the hunk of junk.
 

Susan Arendt

Nerd Queen
Jan 9, 2007
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Reliable Source will be appearing each and every Wednesday and Saturday. :) Glad you folks enjoy it!
 

BehattedWanderer

Fell off the Alligator.
Jun 24, 2009
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New column could definitely work. No bathrug is worth having to sit through Celine Dion.

Will there be any follow up to that Marijuana vs GTA crimes committed survey? I'd participate.
 

toapat

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how is the doc phone better then kill and eat everyone over 50? thats a huge population drop in the right direction, if only we could get china to do that
 

Brett Alex

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Susan Arendt said:
Reliable Source will be appearing each and every Wednesday and Saturday. :) Glad you folks enjoy it!
I think its because its good for more than just humour, I'd been sick for weeks with the flu but after doing a barrel roll I feel great.
 

Puppeteer Putin

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Brilliant read Wilson! Hope to see more.

Also I believe Kotik stars in "Funny People 2" with his stand up act "It's to cover the PS3's cost, dumb ass"
 

wilsonscrazybed

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Dec 16, 2007
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Puppeteer Putin said:
Brilliant read Wilson! Hope to see more.

Also I believe Kotik stars in "Funny People 2" with his stand up act "It's to cover the PS3's cost, dumb ass"
As Susan said a few posts ago, expect another one on Saturday.
 

Puppeteer Putin

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wilsonscrazybed said:
Puppeteer Putin said:
Brilliant read Wilson! Hope to see more.

Also I believe Kotik stars in "Funny People 2" with his stand up act "It's to cover the PS3's cost, dumb ass"
As Susan said a few posts ago, expect another one on Saturday.
I saw, it's more of a positive encouragement than a request.
 

Lord Krunk

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wilsonscrazybed said:
A DVD of Kotick's standup tour, Bobby Kotick: I Swim in Your Money, will be available in October for £55 (92$), unless it's delayed until 2010 to avoid conflicting with the Modern Warfare 2 release date.
When I've finished my morning barrel rolls, I will totally buy tickets for this thing.

*Plays "Money" by Pink Floyd*

Yeah.

Great article Wilson, I will definitely make this frequent reading.
 

Geoffrey42

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Just a thought, but half of the humor of The Daily Show's twisted news are the images (hit-or-miss though they may be). Having the same static image (which was nearly as large as the blurb) floating through every page detracted.

Otherwise, very much enjoyed the writing, and looking forward to more.

@Higurashi: Along the lines of what the other gent said, the only link to marijuana as a gateway drug is that given its illegal status, it is forced to be made available at the same retail location as other, harder drugs. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say that opting for some crystal-meth or some cocaine instead of marijuana is like switching "brands", but it is the case that people find themselves being offered products that they weren't looking for, and occasionally trying it (especially since the first taste is always at a discount). They just happen to be far more chemically addictive substances. Last time I bothered looking, statistics produced by the Dutch government post-legalization (gathered to examine the impacts of said legalization) found that use of other illegal drugs dropped significantly following marijuana being widely legally available.
 

scifidownbeat

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Fat Man Spoon said:
Irridium said:
Fat Man Spoon said:
Or the glove compartment. He used to keep land mines in there.
Huh, I just thought they were cookie holders, its a good thing I didn't try opening them yet. Thanks for the heads up
Hey, no problem. I realised that I could claim the insurance. Enjoy the hunk of junk.
And I thought I kept weird stuff in my glove compartment.
 

samsonguy920

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Mezzamine said:
Is anyone else here imagining Niko Bellic with the munchies after reading this article?
Ploughing his car through pedestrians in an effort to get a Whitecastle Burger.
Maybe it's just me.

Anyway, good article. Hope this becomes regular.
Actually I wasn't even seeing him making it to the car. Imagine Niko being drunk, only with more colors. He'd be laying on the sidewalk, hands reaching in the air, with a stupid smile on his face. That definitely helps prevent carjackings.
Or it's a bad mix, he steps outside into Marioworld. Chaos ensues, news at 11, with a feature on Luigi's devastating experience of being mistaken for a Freeway Motorcycle. Word is Oprah is in contact with his agent. Peach is still unaccounted for.