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- Thread starter DeadpanLunatic
- Start date
It's clear as to why your review didn't score well in Review Wars, and its not only writing out of your preferred area. Because while there are glimpses of great writing in here, its overly self indulgent in the context of the review as a whole.
This is mostly personified in your last paragraph, which starts of brilliantly and continues till about 3/4s of the way in, starting with the "Why I'm talking about this?", when it just becomes more complaining.
A bit of editing (especially in the bringing with all your "I this" and "I that") along with adding a little more information about the game itself, along with a bit of a format reboot would have went a long way in making this a much better review.
Its unfair of me, however, to criticize you on something you'd probably have not written if it wasn't for the sake of simply begin in the competition. At the end of the day, while its not your best work, I can't hold it against you as a bad piece of writing, mostly just a subpar "review" in the terms of what a typical review is set to accomplish.
I'll look back to beating it up a little more for extended criticism at some point hopefully, but I'm still working my way through the rest of your stuff that I've missed.
-Pimpy
This is mostly personified in your last paragraph, which starts of brilliantly and continues till about 3/4s of the way in, starting with the "Why I'm talking about this?", when it just becomes more complaining.
A bit of editing (especially in the bringing with all your "I this" and "I that") along with adding a little more information about the game itself, along with a bit of a format reboot would have went a long way in making this a much better review.
Its unfair of me, however, to criticize you on something you'd probably have not written if it wasn't for the sake of simply begin in the competition. At the end of the day, while its not your best work, I can't hold it against you as a bad piece of writing, mostly just a subpar "review" in the terms of what a typical review is set to accomplish.
I'll look back to beating it up a little more for extended criticism at some point hopefully, but I'm still working my way through the rest of your stuff that I've missed.
-Pimpy