Well, the good news is that I think I've removed Webcake- it didn't appear on the program list, but I managed to delete the files after manually ending the process tree in Task Manager.
I think I figured out why they weren't appearing on the program list; Delta Toolbar shows up again now, but when I try to uninstall it, it tells me an error occurred and asks if I would like to hide it. I probably did that when I was a bit drunk.
I'll attempt one of those scans and see if I can remove it with that.
Update: All clear now. Thanks for helping out this goon.