Replacing Swearing With Other Words

[Deschamps]

A few years ago, I never used to swear. I picked up the habit partially from working in a restaurant, and partially because when you're known for not swearing, using the occasional profanity can be a good way to get a point across. Like many things when overused, however, it begins to lose meaning.

I feel that people will have more respect for you if you don't swear. I'm mostly talking about a professional/educational environment. Around my friends I don't worry about it as much. I've made an effort to avoid swearing, but sometimes I can't find the words to say what I want without sounding unnatural, at least to myself.

Getting to the question, what kinds of things do you say in cases where many others would swear? If I may take some liberties here, what would you say rather than things like "You're confusing the hell out of me" and "Calm the fuck down"?

Thanks in advance!

 

[Paksenarrion]

When I'm teaching, I turn into Ned Flanders.

 

[Deschamps]

When I'm in the right mood, I might be able to pull that off without feeling too much like, well, Ned Flanders.

 

[DragonManRen]

If you have the presence of mind to word-swap, just edit them out altogether and be classy.

 

[linkmastr001]

I just try to avoid profanity if I can. Actually, I really can't think of a time where I have... Mostly, I avoid it cause, yes I do feel it is over used, and in the rare time I really need to get a point across, I could use it to help make an impact.

Also, there are typically times where profanity isn't allowed, regardless of it's use. I have a hard time being acting 'differently' around different groups of people. (i.e. how I act around my parents and my friends is basically the same), so if I avoid using it period, I won't run the risk of using it when I shouldn't.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Somehow makes me chuckle.

I also sometimes use the expression "Son of a [Capulet/Montague]!!". It alleviates stress when someone recognizes the reference to Romeo & Julliet.

 

[Fr]anc[is]

I've always said shaiza (German for 'shit', however it's spelled), don't know where I picked it up, but I like it

also

 

[Belated]

I use the phrase "shove off" A lot. I use it as a substitute for "f*** off" if I'm really incensed. But it also filled a gap where I needed a phrase to let somebody know that I'm moderately annoyed, but not annoyed to the severity of dropping an f-bomb. Like when a friend makes a personal joke about me regarding something I take really seriously. I just say, "Hey shove off pal."

It originates from really old American slang. I think I first heard it in the film adaptation of "The Maltese Falcon". In the book, this gangster said "fuck you" (only they didn't spell out the word, they implied it) but in the movie he says "shove off" instead because it had to be cleaner.

I use crud a lot. I've been using "for goodness sake" but it doesn't feel right when I say it. I also say "shite" instead of "shit". And I've recently adapted "prat".

Also, I'd like to start calling women "dollface" like my American ancestors did in the 30's. Yeah it's probably a little sexist, but it can't possibly be more offensive than "bitches", which is very common now for some reason.

 

[MrJoyless]

my most commonly used ones for me are

seriously... (the WTF is implied)
nuts!! (its the new shit!)
wow... (for me this means you are a fucking moron and need to die in a fire...)

 

[Doclector]

I personally don't restrain myself that much. I can when I need to, but most of the time, it is unneccessary, as my college tutor used to work in the film industry, and thus knows that in stressful deadline situations, the only people not swearing are the mad and mute.

I do have a couple of suggestions. Cutting WTF down to "What the!" works pretty well, as does "freaking" in place of f-bombs.

Less effective but more hilarious are some referential options, like using "smeg" in the place of all words or maybe, just maybe, shouting profanities in Gorram chinese. You may want to limit it's use to around people who actually know of such things, because nothing stings like the awkward silence of ignored references.

 

[Anarchemitis]

anc[is]I've always said shaiza (German for 'shit', however it's spelled), don't know where I picked it up, but I like it

Schiße. Germans would not think you had all that clean of a language if you use it frequently.

 

[ultratog1028]

Say a random word instead, that hopefully isn't as bad. The funnier sounding the word the better.

I tend to just assemble random japanese letters. I have no idea what I even say when I curse.

 

[The Gray Train]

lint licker.
biscuit eater/eating.
sweet jumping jesus titties cinnamon.
bobble/swivel-headed waffle monkey.

just to name a few

 

[Sneeze]

I used to be like that, never used to swear, ever, then shit kicked off and I thought fuck it, I'm pissed. I swear like a soldier now.

I do however reserve the "c-word" for when I'm REALLY pissed off, I'll seldom drop the c-bomb unless I'm to the level of wanting to kick a badger. Or I just go completely overboard and use fucking as every other word in the sentence. I also use "feck" and "fack" still deviations of the f-word but they don't sound quite as vulgar.

Sure, my ways aren't the most eloquent or sophisticated but that get the point across.

 

[mew1234321]

Heh.

I personally swear all the time. It's become a meme with my friends now. One of them still has fond memories of when I picked up a guitar, shouted '1-2-1-2-3-4! FUCK!... FUCKFUCKFUCK. IT'S OUT OF TUNE!'

In any case, yeah, swearing isn't exactly the best idea in polite company. When I'm in such a situation, I say 'frickin' a lot. Oh, and 'GOD DAMNIT' or just the regular ol' 'DAMN IT!'

Though, I once got detention when a very devout Christian substitute P.E teacher got me detention for shouting 'JESUS CHRIST!' when I missed an easy catch.

 

[Galletea]

I like the word 'fudge' it's pretty handy and means very little. Good for saying under one's breath. The best way is to find your own choice of words for exclaiming and eventually it becomes second nature. As for telling people where to go, if it's really necessary than use whatever words you like, there's no point in holding back if you're going to do that.

 

[Scorched_Cascade]

It's easy M'Kay
Just do what Mr garrison does:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-MaKlTTWIw

 

[Eumersian]

It depends. I like to reserve my profanity use because, like you said, it loses its meaning. We need some way of properly conveying the seriousness of a situation in as few words as possible. So I try not to use words like "fuck" a lot.

Now, I will use plenty of swears for the shock-humor effect because I, also, tend to not swear much. Most people who know me will be surprised when I swear.

Also, because I am an old-timey curmudgeon, swearing around a lady is strictly prohibited.

 

[Mcupobob]

Replacement swear words have the same fucking meaning as there more appropriate and less asinine brothers. Just don't swear, or use the "softer" Swear words when you want to express yourself such as Damn or hell. If you want to clean up your vocabulary completely just swear in your head, and make primitive grunting sounds to express disdain or mistakes. Such as Sheeeess or uggg. Anyways hope that helps.

 

[T-Bone24]

I use antiquated terms, such as "ruddy heck", and "gosh". I find that it makes things funnier than saying, "Oh, cocktits". Just use minor swears instead and try to wean yourself down.