- Mar 17, 2012
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[Img_Inline width="300" height="250" Caption="Schools won't teach this unless a Christian alternative is present"]https://digitalstateofmind.files.wordpress.com/2013/09/hipster.jpg?w=604
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The modern hipster is one of the most peculiar archetypes to appear out of the 21st century. Shunning away from popular culture to forge their own identity is akin to watching a baby deer see its mother get hit by a Hummer. However, even rebelling against the system has its downsides as Woodson Myers learned. He learned today that he is allergic to anything that appears to be getting popular or is already mainstream.
"It started off as a rash but now I start getting queasy, light-headed, my muscles stop working and I hear the voices of an Elder God if I get too close to an Apple product. That's why I had to switch over to an old rotary phone. Reception is kind of bad but nothing much I can do there" said Myers.
"The absolute worst part is the diet though. Before I learned of my condition, I was a pretty good pescetarian. Then I had to go full vegetarian, then vegan and now I can't eat anything that could be potentially be used as a fuel for another living being. I've been pretty much living off of pumpkin spice latte and cat food. At this rate, I won't be able to eat or drink anything of this dimension."
While the condition is still being looked into by top medical professionals, his friends and family mostly hope that the disease will kill him before.
"He's really kind of a jerk now. I know that he has to keep bragging about some obscure Uzbekistanian urban post-bop jazz fusion band or his Laosian frog-posting forum but it's getting really tiring over the smug attitude that he has over it. He's not the son I raised, he's some puppet controlling the dead body of someone I loved. It's like he's a zombie but at least zombies don't grow bad facial hair" said Myers' mother.
I wish to remind readers of the dangers of hipster-ism. Be safe out there, audience.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwV-Qulog5I>Source
-TACO News: Shitposted Before it Was Cool
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.882133-REPORT-Scientist-Does-Something-He-Probably-Shouldnt-Have>Scientist Does Something He Probably Shouldn't Have
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The modern hipster is one of the most peculiar archetypes to appear out of the 21st century. Shunning away from popular culture to forge their own identity is akin to watching a baby deer see its mother get hit by a Hummer. However, even rebelling against the system has its downsides as Woodson Myers learned. He learned today that he is allergic to anything that appears to be getting popular or is already mainstream.
"It started off as a rash but now I start getting queasy, light-headed, my muscles stop working and I hear the voices of an Elder God if I get too close to an Apple product. That's why I had to switch over to an old rotary phone. Reception is kind of bad but nothing much I can do there" said Myers.
"The absolute worst part is the diet though. Before I learned of my condition, I was a pretty good pescetarian. Then I had to go full vegetarian, then vegan and now I can't eat anything that could be potentially be used as a fuel for another living being. I've been pretty much living off of pumpkin spice latte and cat food. At this rate, I won't be able to eat or drink anything of this dimension."
While the condition is still being looked into by top medical professionals, his friends and family mostly hope that the disease will kill him before.
"He's really kind of a jerk now. I know that he has to keep bragging about some obscure Uzbekistanian urban post-bop jazz fusion band or his Laosian frog-posting forum but it's getting really tiring over the smug attitude that he has over it. He's not the son I raised, he's some puppet controlling the dead body of someone I loved. It's like he's a zombie but at least zombies don't grow bad facial hair" said Myers' mother.
I wish to remind readers of the dangers of hipster-ism. Be safe out there, audience.
<a href=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwV-Qulog5I>Source
-TACO News: Shitposted Before it Was Cool
<color=darkred>Older News: <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.882133-REPORT-Scientist-Does-Something-He-Probably-Shouldnt-Have>Scientist Does Something He Probably Shouldn't Have
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