I can't believe that no one has picked up on it yet, but there's a typo in the title. Division, not Divsion.
Report: The Division - The Movie in The Works, Starring Jake Gyllenhaal
- Thread starter Steven Bogos
- Start date
I know its trendy to hate popular things and god forbid someone enjoy a AAA game, but if anybody had, ya know, fucking played the game they would see that The Division's setting has immense potential for a great movie as long as they follow a side story (and hell, there is plenty sitting there waiting to be fleshed out just in the game's excellent audio logs) rather than just rehashing the underwhelming main story.
Mind you, the movie is almost guaranteed to be a generic soulless PG-13 action flick that utterly wastes the setting's potential because lolHollywood, but I still find it more interesting to think about what the movie could be if someone making it gave a shit rather than just make the same trite comments about "unfortunate implications" that show you never played the game.
Mind you, the movie is almost guaranteed to be a generic soulless PG-13 action flick that utterly wastes the setting's potential because lolHollywood, but I still find it more interesting to think about what the movie could be if someone making it gave a shit rather than just make the same trite comments about "unfortunate implications" that show you never played the game.
WOAH WOAH WOAH, hold the phone. When did this happen? I'm trying to fight it but... this feelings.. is.. is this what the kids call... hype??Steven Bogos said:
I just wonder if it'll be as broken as the game is.Fappy said:
The theaters will require an internet connection that's less stable than a former Mouseketeer, assets will be unfinished, and the entire third act will be completely unwatchable (not as in bad, as in physically broken to the point it can't be watched).
Patches will slowly roll out for months while the studio continues to ask for money for what is less a movie and more a train wreck captured in a time loop for all to see.
There is only one thing I have faith in Ubisoft to do these days. It used to be two, but they actually skipped a year on Assassin's Creed. The one thing is their ability to screw up. Even if they're not directly involved in writing, their density will send ripples out from their center of fail, dooming all within the event horizon of their empire. It is theorised by physicists and mathematicians that Ubisoftium is a matter so dense, even the light of the Disney Empire cannot escape it. Not the MCU, not Star Wars...not even Pixar. This has never been observed in the physical world, but entire models have been developed to calculate the devastating impact should an Ubisoft production perturb the orbit of such a franchise.Wrex Brogan said:
...that was going to be a single line, but I was just on a roll and had to run with it. The short version is Ubisoft seems to screw up everything.
I don't see anything here to be surprised. The Division has its problems as a game and as an IP, but it is obvious Ubisoft had a lot of money riding on it.I would not be surprised if talks about a movie started long before the game hit the streets, because that is how merchandising works: you plan all these things beforehand, and hope against hope that all the other parts deliver.
After all, anyone is surprised by this little gem [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2572696/] existing?
After all, anyone is surprised by this little gem [http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2572696/] existing?
Just call them Abstergo, and turn this into a cinematic universe...Bobular said:
Video game movies haven't universally sucked. I don't know what people are expecting, Citizen Kane? The best of them have been no worse than any superhero or teen dyystopic nonsense from the last few years. None of them are outstanding films, but they can be entertaining.
I thought Prince of Persia was quite good. Very good cast, cool story inspired by the Sands of Time game and the setting and stunts were cool. It was "whitewashed" like most hollywood films, but that's my only complaint.
The Tomb Raider films arguably are responsible for putting Angelina Jolie into super-stardom. They were quite good adventure flicks, well made if clich? and financial successes.
The Resident Evil film spawned sequels and the franchise is probably the biggest financial success of all video game movies. No action zombie film is going to win an an oscar, but they were enjoyable enough with some memorable action sequences and story inspired by the games. "My name is Alice, and I remember everything!" is still frikking awesome.
Silent Hill was good too, and not just because Sean Bean didn't die (I know right!). Again, it wasn't a runaway success but it was never going to be. It had enough story to set the scene and motivations and the rest was a good thriller with some references and twists the gamers would get.
I haven't played The Division and I'm not going to, but a post-apocalyptic action thriller with a Tom Clancy vibe sounds just as good as any other movie coming out these days. The biggest problem these guys have is that they a) design by committee and b) are so protective of their precious IP they are crazy about what can and cannot be shown and said. Both of these things mean any creativity will be stifled, originality beaten and flattened out and only the least offensive, most vanilla, generic and safe story will be told.
When business decisions and corporate interests affect the story (eg. Star Wars VII) so drastically, it is not a film any more, but an "entertainment product".
I must admit however that I also loved the Double Dragon film (Marc Dacascos, great fight scenes and Alyssa Milano!), Alone in the Dark which gave that great line "Your mother's wrong, kid." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMIru8WlDxA] and even the camp SF film and the Chun Li film too. But these are guilty pleasures and I acknowledge that
I thought Prince of Persia was quite good. Very good cast, cool story inspired by the Sands of Time game and the setting and stunts were cool. It was "whitewashed" like most hollywood films, but that's my only complaint.
The Tomb Raider films arguably are responsible for putting Angelina Jolie into super-stardom. They were quite good adventure flicks, well made if clich? and financial successes.
The Resident Evil film spawned sequels and the franchise is probably the biggest financial success of all video game movies. No action zombie film is going to win an an oscar, but they were enjoyable enough with some memorable action sequences and story inspired by the games. "My name is Alice, and I remember everything!" is still frikking awesome.
Silent Hill was good too, and not just because Sean Bean didn't die (I know right!). Again, it wasn't a runaway success but it was never going to be. It had enough story to set the scene and motivations and the rest was a good thriller with some references and twists the gamers would get.
I haven't played The Division and I'm not going to, but a post-apocalyptic action thriller with a Tom Clancy vibe sounds just as good as any other movie coming out these days. The biggest problem these guys have is that they a) design by committee and b) are so protective of their precious IP they are crazy about what can and cannot be shown and said. Both of these things mean any creativity will be stifled, originality beaten and flattened out and only the least offensive, most vanilla, generic and safe story will be told.
When business decisions and corporate interests affect the story (eg. Star Wars VII) so drastically, it is not a film any more, but an "entertainment product".
I must admit however that I also loved the Double Dragon film (Marc Dacascos, great fight scenes and Alyssa Milano!), Alone in the Dark which gave that great line "Your mother's wrong, kid." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMIru8WlDxA] and even the camp SF film and the Chun Li film too. But these are guilty pleasures and I acknowledge that
What? The LMB is a private military contractor. The members who were soldiers haven't been for a long time, and they turned evil when they stabbed the JTF in the back and started murdering cops for sport, which was basically the final push that destroyed any remaining chance of restoring order without the Division. Also "slightly" here apparently means "by a factor of several thousand" considering the more than ample evidence that the LMB lines prisoners (including JTF and civilians) up against a wall and guns them down en-mass, something the JTF never comes close to.Dr. McD said:
By all means criticize The Division for its numerous gameplay failings, but these "unfortunate implications" posts always seem to rely on ignoring the actual plot.
That's okay. I read it in my head in Neil deGrasse Tyson's 'Cosmos Voice.' It was pretty fun.Something Amyss said:
No. Almost all of them completely fail at being movies and at capturing anything close to what the game counterparts go for.KingsGambit said:
Look. I can't comment on Prince of Persia since I have not seen that (and am never going to), so I will ignore that right now... but... Really? You think the Silent Hill and Resident Evil movies are even remotely watchable? First off, neither movie series did anywhere CLOSE to a good job at capturing the spirit of the source material. Resident Evil turned into a giant Mary Sue quest of the most lame of proportions with no real logic, cohesive thought, well thought out characters or interactions, and nothing more than a globtrot from set piece to set piece with a continual degradation of quality the longer it went on, culminating in the most moronic twists imaginable in the fifth movie. Thank all the deities worshiped that there is only one more. They aren't even good action movies. Almost all of the action is lame, and the later movies had so much idiotic slow-mo and shameless 3D moments that it is almost laughable. There is nothing worth salvaging from that dumpster fire of a series.
As for Silent Hill............ It was a terrible thriller, a terrible horror movie, and a terrible adaptation of the game itself. Talk about completely missing the entire point of the game. It doesn't help that the characters are just bad, but they are so one dimensional and lack any real depth when compared to what was going on in the games that it is almost impossible to care about any of them when they die. They went for misplaced monsters that didn't fit into the movies just because they are recognizable from the games. That is not how Silent Hill works. The monsters in the games serve a purpose to the characters. They aren't just thrown in just because. Like Pyramid Head, who shouldn't be in the movies at all since what the character is supposed to represent in SH2. The second movie was actually better just because of how hilariously awful it was. It was so bad and so terribly mishandled everything possible from the game, that all the jokes my friends and I made about Pyramid Head being the hero through the first movie came full circle and became cold hard truth in the second movie. What a laugh riot THAT all was.
As for Tomb Raider... no. The first movie was financially successful, but being a really bland and forgettable action movie does not make it good. It fares even worse than the poorly aged National Treasure movies. The second movie was a straight up flop that couldn't even make back its modest $95 Million budget in the US and effectively killed the franchise. Neither movie is any good at all and is nothing more than a really mishandled Indiana Jones clone with nothing original or memorable what so ever.
Nobody is expecting anything Academy Award material when they see these movies. HOWEVER, when you take a license that has a dedicated fanbase already, you better handle the material in a way that can satisfy them. If they don't deliver, and just shit out some half-assed movie with terrible story, terrible action, terrible characters, and terrible directing, well... Youwill not only make the fans that would pay to see the movie no matter what angry, but it also leaves no real impact on the general audience or critics, either. Star Wars wasn't anything Academy worthy when it came out. The Marvel movies aren't Academy worthy, either. Most summer blockbusters aren't. But people like them because they give them something of quality (usually.) Hollywood has never cared and never WILL care about video game movies. Every single one of them lacks effort, and it shows instantly in each and every showing.