REPORT: Usain Bolt Endorses "The Naruto Run"

[PsychicTaco115]

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Usain Bolt, referred to as the fastest man alive for breaking world records in both the 100 and 200 meter sprint in various sporting events, has announced today that he is in full support of the technique formally referred to as 'The Naruto Run.'

"The Naruto Run is one of the best means of training yourself to win races. Before all my world record events, I would always use this method to prepare myself. I can honestly say it was thanks to this technique that I am where I am today" said Bolt.

Bolt also discussed some of the science of this revolutionary running exercise.

"Basically, it's a constant state of free-fall. By leaning forwards to the point of falling forward, you have to react quicker and quicker to prevent yourself from falling. Your legs go faster and faster until you reach a stable equilibrium and achieve a sense of weightlessness."

"Ever since I watched the Naruto anime, I knew this would be an important part of my life. I used to try and practice this when I was younger and even had the headband. As I ran, I attempted to do the hand signs from the show but the Posses thought they were gang signs so I had to stop. Sakura's my waifu though" said Bolt.

We also contacted Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of Naruto, for his opinion on the announcement.

"Seiko wa, ikutsu ka no gaijin ga watashi ni hanashite iru naze, anata orokana chisana shiroi tawagoto o seiko o shutoku shi, anata wa kore o shiyou to suru to, futatabi watashi wa anata no kusopenisu ni jibun no kaku bakudan o doroppu shimasu"

Translating through Google Translate, Kishimoto said that "he was honored that a manga of his inspired such an athlete."


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[Dirty Hipsters]

So, funny story. I did track in high school and there was a running joke about doing the Naruto run among the guys who did sprints. So one day one of the hurdlers decided to try it while practicing the high hurdles. He made it over the first one, then ate shit on the second one and managed to break one of this arms and fracture his wrist on the other arm.

 

[Aerosteam]

We also contacted Masashi Kishimoto, the creator of Naruto, for his opinion on the announcement.

"Seiko wa, ikutsu ka no gaijin ga watashi ni hanashite iru naze, anata orokana chisana shiroi tawagoto o seiko o shutoku shi, anata wa kore o shiyou to suru to, futatabi watashi wa anata no kusopenisu ni jibun no kaku bakudan o doroppu shimasu"

Translating through Google Translate, Kishimoto said that "he was honored that a manga of his inspired such an athlete."

He didn't say that at.

He didn't say that AT ALL.

OH GOD.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

 

[Dansen]

So, funny story. I did track in high school and there was a running joke about doing the Naruto run among the guys who did sprints. So one day one of the hurdlers decided to try it while practicing the high hurdles. He made it over the first one, then ate shit on the second one and managed to break one of this arms and fracture his wrist on the other arm.

Thats awful! You sick twisted dirty hipster!

It seems like Kishimoto might be Usain bolt's secret lover, judging by how often he says dear/honey in the statement.

 

[Evil Smurf]

As we all know, anime is for dumbs and this only confirms it! you'd have to be a massive dumb to be the fastest man in the world!

 

[Teoes]

Hehehe - when I was a kid in school a mate spent a good while running like the T-1000 after watching Terminator 2, because he thought it would make him faster.

Spoiler

 

[inquisitorJL]

As we all know, anime is for dumbs and this only confirms it! you'd have to be a massive dumb to be the fastest man in the world!

Anime IS for dumbs, as is tradition.

Spoiler

If you don't get this, in jokes from Desert Bus for Hope. Why aren't you watching that already

 

[Fox12]

Hold the phone, this reporter is preaching falsehoods! I have no fewer then all the evidence that Naruto stole that run from someone else, and then took credit for it. Case in point:

Exhibit A:

Spoiler

Exhibit B:

Spoiler

And Exhibit C:
http://youtu.be/nS_Q5dgMy7s?t=13s

This proves corruption in games journalism, 0/10, demand retraction.

 

[Evil Smurf]

As we all know, anime is for dumbs and this only confirms it! you'd have to be a massive dumb to be the fastest man in the world!

Anime IS for dumbs, as is tradition.

Spoiler

If you don't get this, in jokes from Desert Bus for Hope. Why aren't you watching that already

Also join in on the Desertbus irc!

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Where do you have time to sleep between writing these? I've seen like 3 in the past two days.
It takes me an hour and a half to write the first sentence in my official writing pieces.

 

[PsychicTaco115]

So, funny story. I did track in high school and there was a running joke about doing the Naruto run among the guys who did sprints. So one day one of the hurdlers decided to try it while practicing the high hurdles. He made it over the first one, then ate shit on the second one and managed to break one of this arms and fracture his wrist on the other arm.

That's just a higher being punishing him for enjoying any aspect of anime

Where do you have time to sleep between writing these? I've seen like 3 in the past two days.
It takes me an hour and a half to write the first sentence in my official writing pieces.

It's easy!

Drink lots and lots of energy drinks, cry because you can't think of anything, get inspiration and then slam your dick on the keyboard until words appear

See Mom! I told you my anime binges were helping me prepare for life!

Now go outside and yell like an asshole so it makes your hair Aryan blonde!

 

[VanQ]

I tried reading that Romaji but gave the fuck up when I realised that it's really fucking hard to figure out homophones without the kanji.

Also

>kusopenisu

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

Just so you guys know, Ninjitsu is cheating and punishable by a suspension from any race. Also no weapons.

Especially you, FAPPY. I'm watching you.