I won't waste characters with introductions, so let's just jump on in. As we all know Resident Evil 5 is an action shooter made in 1996 about a guy and his sidekicks shooting mutated people in a mansion? wait that?s the new one. Except it doesn't take place in a mansion it takes place in Africa. The original game was, well to say the least original. In all honesty I found it to be really bad, but it is fun to challenge yourself in game. Like a speed run or something. But back to the subject at hand, Resident Evil 5 is a "survival horror" shooter. This new trend was started by Resident Evil 4, which actually pulled this new gameplay off and made the game actually be awesome a lot of the time. In Resident Evil 5 everything is dulled down quite a bit, especially the "horror" aspect of this "survival horror!" Honestly, this is a Resident Evil game. It set the standards for the survival horror genre. How the **** did this become Farcry 2's very short expansion pack. Now that you mention it, or I mention it in this case, the game really is short. I mean for the love of God I beat it in a day, I'd hate to see how fast a speed runner could beat it. Probably an hour with normal weapons.
Anyway, let's have a whole thing about the plot. Oh GOD the plot! Well in all honesty it's better than Resident Evil 4's plot, which if taken seriously and not in a campy and comedic gesture will probably kill. I know it almost killed me. But even though the plot is better than Resident Evil 4's it still can't beat Resident Evil 1's gripping, action filled, clichéd, overly plot holed story I've ever heard in my life. I swear to god, everything and nothing happens in this plot. The series introduces a new virus! But it's exactly like the other viruses except its physical appearance is a bunch of black worms (or a certain P and S word for you disgusting minded people). Apparently this is the extremely painful way of turning into a monster. I guess we completely forgot about Resident Evil 2's G-Virus. In fact the only two virus' that don't make people scream with agony from being mutated are the mutant version of the T-virus that Wesker has, and the Veronica-X Virus, which can set people on fire without the person even flinching. So what makes this virus so unique then? Nothing! It makes people turn into huge monsters, but so can the Las Plagas from Resident Evil 4. I swear this has to be one of the worst plots I've ever heard.
Well what about the gameplay then. You mentioned it before, but mentioning is like giving someone a cake and then taking it away right after their first bite (because the cake is a lie!). The gameplay is like Resident Evil 4's, an over-the-shoulder view with only a laser pointer to tell you where you're aiming. You have to hit a button to run, and you're always under attack by thousands of mo-fos. What made this Resident Evil game unique compared to the rest is the use of Co-op. This was a revolutionary break thru that actually made this game playable, because without it you'd be stuck with the item wasting AI. Y'know that AI that likes using only her pistol, until she runs out and goes to find more just to waste that. Y'know, that one AI that wastes all your herbs of you're even half way down on your health. Obviously this AI is Sheva, and obviously she was meant for the kind of gamer who runs in guns-a-blazin' and likes shooting everything in sight before running to the next room. I found her useful when it came to ammo, because she'd only waste the pistol ammo, so as long as I had the shotgun, she'd save the ammo. Also I get damaged a lot so, to tell the truth, she did save my ass more then once. Just don't tell the dumb ***** to go and attack or she'll go where you can't and eventually die. So personally I found her useful, but at the same time I understand why everyone hates paying with the AI. This is where the co-op comes in handy because now you can actually enjoy the game. No screwing around with ****ty AI, we've got a human playing us now. Let's see you beat this Umbrella!
In the end the game isn't that brilliant, and in my opinion, did not meet my expectations at all? in the slightest? no where near. But also, it's fun to just play it through again with a friend and laugh at everything? literally? everything.
P.S. I'm really just looking for complaints, praises and so on for the review. Y'know kind of a critique of my review. Yeah I know it was a weak review, but hell it was my first as well.
Anyway, let's have a whole thing about the plot. Oh GOD the plot! Well in all honesty it's better than Resident Evil 4's plot, which if taken seriously and not in a campy and comedic gesture will probably kill. I know it almost killed me. But even though the plot is better than Resident Evil 4's it still can't beat Resident Evil 1's gripping, action filled, clichéd, overly plot holed story I've ever heard in my life. I swear to god, everything and nothing happens in this plot. The series introduces a new virus! But it's exactly like the other viruses except its physical appearance is a bunch of black worms (or a certain P and S word for you disgusting minded people). Apparently this is the extremely painful way of turning into a monster. I guess we completely forgot about Resident Evil 2's G-Virus. In fact the only two virus' that don't make people scream with agony from being mutated are the mutant version of the T-virus that Wesker has, and the Veronica-X Virus, which can set people on fire without the person even flinching. So what makes this virus so unique then? Nothing! It makes people turn into huge monsters, but so can the Las Plagas from Resident Evil 4. I swear this has to be one of the worst plots I've ever heard.
Well what about the gameplay then. You mentioned it before, but mentioning is like giving someone a cake and then taking it away right after their first bite (because the cake is a lie!). The gameplay is like Resident Evil 4's, an over-the-shoulder view with only a laser pointer to tell you where you're aiming. You have to hit a button to run, and you're always under attack by thousands of mo-fos. What made this Resident Evil game unique compared to the rest is the use of Co-op. This was a revolutionary break thru that actually made this game playable, because without it you'd be stuck with the item wasting AI. Y'know that AI that likes using only her pistol, until she runs out and goes to find more just to waste that. Y'know, that one AI that wastes all your herbs of you're even half way down on your health. Obviously this AI is Sheva, and obviously she was meant for the kind of gamer who runs in guns-a-blazin' and likes shooting everything in sight before running to the next room. I found her useful when it came to ammo, because she'd only waste the pistol ammo, so as long as I had the shotgun, she'd save the ammo. Also I get damaged a lot so, to tell the truth, she did save my ass more then once. Just don't tell the dumb ***** to go and attack or she'll go where you can't and eventually die. So personally I found her useful, but at the same time I understand why everyone hates paying with the AI. This is where the co-op comes in handy because now you can actually enjoy the game. No screwing around with ****ty AI, we've got a human playing us now. Let's see you beat this Umbrella!
In the end the game isn't that brilliant, and in my opinion, did not meet my expectations at all? in the slightest? no where near. But also, it's fun to just play it through again with a friend and laugh at everything? literally? everything.
P.S. I'm really just looking for complaints, praises and so on for the review. Y'know kind of a critique of my review. Yeah I know it was a weak review, but hell it was my first as well.
