Respect

[mangus]

It's only a fucking hat, Jeebus.

It's a matter of respect, not the hat sir.

no. It's a hat. you've blown it out of proportion. grats?

 

[ottenni]

While i am all for showing respect to your elders (and by that i mean old old people, not people who are 4 months older than you no mater what they think), but i can understand where you are coming from seeing as she seems to be showing you no respect whatsoever. And part of the reason i believe elders should be shown respect is because they usually have well and truly earn't it, especially where i'm from where nearly every one of then has built at least one house or survived the war or something (like my grandma who escaped from the soviet invasion of Germany on A BIKE, and my grandpa who escaped from a POW camp). But you do get the odd one who really is just head-up-ass rude. But just ignore them they aren't worth the effort of fighting with, just like trolls.

 

[Greasemoicockneypalm]

Who, exactly, were you (not I,) born for, then?

I was born because my parents wanted a child who would make them proud and be grateful for what they did for me, presumably.

Whereas you were obviously born because your parents really wanted another person on the earth having a good time and not giving a shit about the consequences.

idiot.

 

[gbemery]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were. On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors. Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

Thats horse shit. I respect my elders. But not because i think they're better than me. Simply because i tend to respect the wishes of everyone. Respect everyone until they give you cause not to. Elder or not.

I agree

 

[jboking]

[HEADING=2]Respect everyone until they give you a reason not to.[/HEADING]

Removing your hat in another persons house or when requested to, has long been a sign of respect. Respect the old woman until she gives you reason not to. If you have a legitimate reason to keep your hat on, fine.

 

[fletch_talon]

[HEADING=2]Respect everyone until they give you a reason not to.[/HEADING]

Removing your hat in another persons house or when requested to, has long been a sign of respect. Respect the old woman until she gives you reason not to. If you have a legitimate reason to keep your hat on, fine.

Common sense? In this thread? On these forums?
Did I accidentally click a link to bizzaro escapistmagazine.com cuz I coulda sworn everyone here was a self serving wanker who thinks the world revolves around them and that people should prove themselves (despite the individuals in question having their fair share of flaws).

Ok I'm exaggerating, but seriously I know I shouldn't be surprised that there are people who live by the motto "no respect until its earned" but I am disappointed by it.

 

[Sad Robot]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were. On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors. Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

This post is so ridiculous I'm not sure I should bother with a rebuttal.

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning,

As a linguistics student I'm not even going to bother addressing the "real meaning" argument here but who says those values have been forgotten? I certainly still understand and value the concepts. And I'm definitely not the only one.

The thing is, people have been making these complaints for as long as there has been human civilizations. So, either people suffer from delusional fits of nostalgia, or if every generation has really been worse than the previous one, by now we should be living in an every-man-for-himself wasteland completely void of any ideals. We're not.

and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were.

As a generalisation, this is, of course, untrue.

On top of that, you'd get a smack if you were an uppity little shit who wouldn't take his hat off indoors.

Of course, the fact that corporal punishment is considered unnecessary and pointless by such organisations as the American Psychological Association doesn't really mean anything. They're just a bunch of experts on the matter, what would they know.

Also, while it's illegal where I come from, I have not yet noticed any significant decline in moral values in comparison to countries that still allow it. Of course, this is but an opinion.

Taking your hat off is an ancient sign of respect, showing that you aren't hiding your identity/are comfortable leaving your head unprotected. Same thing with shaking hands, it shows you aren't holding a weapon in them.

Given that these reasons aren't relevant in modern society, it's hardly worth mentioning them in context. As a sign of common courtesy and general appreciation of tradition, it's as good a symbolic gesture as any, but nothing more.

Just respect your elders mate, they're better than you or me.

Like others have pointed out, being old means you've been lucky enough not to do. It has, in fact a lot more to do with luck than any kind of behaviour that wasn't an inherent part of one's survival instinct. Yes, some old people are really wise, but that's no argument on behalf of the generalisation.

Furthermore, I don't understand the argument that other people had it perceivably worse than we do so at the moment, so that makes them better people. What kind of logic does that follow?

And people still fight for the "greater good". If you're too blind to see that then I'm sorry.

Personally, I open doors for women and the elderly, give my seat to those who might need it more, ask if people need help in some small or trivial task etc. but I can't shake the nagging feeling that the way I behave isn't as much polite as it is sexist and ageist, even though most people seem to appreciate my behaviour.

 

[Superior Mind]

With old people it's best to just do what they suggest because if you don't it gives them something to gripe about. They're like fucking crabs, if they grab onto something that's pissing them off they won't let go.

 

[Amnestic]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were.

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behavior and dress."

FECKING YOUNG PEOPLE! They've been bastards for the last two and a half millenia!

 

[Sad Robot]

The thing about old people is that they come from a time when morality, bravery, honour, duty and respect were words with real meaning, and back then kids respected their elders because they recognized that older people were valuable, and far more wise than they were.

"The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for
authority, they show disrespect to their elders.... They no longer
rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents,
chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their
legs, and are tyrants over their teachers."

"The young people of today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age. They are impatient of all restraint. They talk as if they alone knew everything and what passes for wisdom with us is foolishness with them. As for girls, they are forward, immodest and unwomanly in speech, behavior and dress."

FECKING YOUNG PEOPLE! They've been bastards for the last two and a half millenia!

Touché. I couldn't bother with googling for those (and other) quotes myself.

 

[Vuljatar]

I probably would have done the same, because it's such an unimportant thing that it's not worth contesting.

However, if I was feeling in a combative mood (which isn't that uncommon) I would have left it on all fucking day even in situations where I would normally take it off, just to spite the noisy old bag.

 

[Sad Robot]

Personally, I open doors for women and the elderly, give my seat to those who might need it more, ask if people need help in some small or trivial task etc. but I can't shake the nagging feeling that the way I behave isn't as much polite as it is sexist and ageist, even though most people seem to appreciate my behaviour.

I feel exactly the same. It's one of those weird things where you feel good when you do it, you feel even better when the small acknowledging smile or equivalent gesture of thanks is given to you, and then when you come to think about it you wonder how it is justifiable. Still, the kindness shown is positive discrimination so you reason that it isn't hurting anyone (likely a facile conclusion, but good enough to stop you changing your behaviour).

Oh, the myriad ways in which we justify our ways to ourselves!

 

[Fire Daemon]

There used to be a time when everyone wore a hat, everyone! With this came certain 'rules' of sorts, one of those is to take your hat off when inside. The grandmother would have grown up with these rules and so from her point of view it is rude to to wear a hate inside and I agree with her.

I too often see these 'I'm an individual cos I got me a Trilby' folks who don't observe proper protocols. Much like in the end of Aladin if you want the ability to wear a hat than you have to put up with the hassle. If you don't than you look like the kind of like people who wear something purely so that it reflects upon them, such as sunglasses at night or even worse those glasses without lenses. I hate, fucking hate, when people dress themselves up like that. If you want to wear a hat, fine I like hats, but don't wear it to so that people go 'Heh, that guy wears a hat so he must cool' and part of the requires taking the hat off.

I doubt that you (OP) didn't take it off because you were in a casual environment or because you usually don't need to take it off. The lady was being a little bit rude herself to ask you to take off the hat even though I do think it was justified. I wouldn't ask someone to take off one of those "It's not my fault you're stupid" T-Shirts (you know the ones, black with some 'witty' phrase that makes the wearer look like a twat) and neither would I ask them to take off a hat. If a person wants to dress like that, fine, but know that I want to destroy you.

 

[silasbufu]

So, I just had a kind of revelation. Recently my girlfriends grandma, who is 84, while we were at my girlfriends sisters house who happens to live with her boyfriend, who happens to be a very very good friend of mine, rudely said to me, "Hats are for outdoors, anytime you are indoors you need to take off a hat." I regularly wear a hat, and anytime I have been inside my buddy's house I have had a hat on. Now, I listened to her and respectively took off my hat for the evening. Since it was not her house, nor her right to request something like this would you, fellow Escapists have done the same thing. In retrospect I feel that I should not have, and will not in the future, follow her wishes unless it be in her own house.

What would/will you guys do?

You need to figure out if it's really worth starting an argument with this old woman, who is also your girlfriend's grandmother (if I understood correctly). I mean if she was just a random person it wouldn't matter, but your relationship could suffer because of your pride. Just take the damn hat off. It doesn't matter if it's her house or not. Most old people don't make sense anyway.

 

[Borrowed Time]

So, I just had a kind of revelation. Recently my girlfriends grandma, who is 84, while we were at my girlfriends sisters house who happens to live with her boyfriend, who happens to be a very very good friend of mine, rudely said to me, "Hats are for outdoors, anytime you are indoors you need to take off a hat." I regularly wear a hat, and anytime I have been inside my buddy's house I have had a hat on. Now, I listened to her and respectively took off my hat for the evening. Since it was not her house, nor her right to request something like this would you, fellow Escapists have done the same thing. In retrospect I feel that I should not have, and will not in the future, follow her wishes unless it be in her own house.

What would/will you guys do?

I would have taken my hat off. I may grumble and mumble to myself while putting on a false smile, but I'd take it off. Understanding where people come from is fairly important. Knowing that she lived in a different age and the reasons behind certain niceties may help you understand her point of view.

Sure, she could have been nicer about it, but responding rudely wouldn't have made the situation better. All it probably would have done was offend both her and perhaps your girlfriend. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt and treat them with respect until they've proven otherwise. Even then, I'm sometimes a glutton for punishment (at least face to face) and tend to hold my tongue far longer then I probably should. It's not a matter of being self-depreciating or a "wuss", it's a matter of actually caring about other people to the extent that until they become abusive, I am willing to put my prideful arrogance and ego on hold for a time.

 

[mooncalf]

In the terms of that lady's thinking, it doesn't matter what house you are in, she was raised to believe that it is simply good manners to take your hat off inside. It rubs me the wrong way to be corrected about those sorts of things, especially when times have changed making it not so widespread a belief... If you want to keep your hat on, do so. Be prepared that some people might take offense, and be diplomatic with them if they do.

Another example of this is when I (jokingly) rib people about sitting on tables, since I was brought up to believe it's not nice to put your ass where people rest their hands and arms. I ultimately don't -REALLY- care, but some people might think it was unhygenic.

 

[TheSeventhLoneWolf]

Ask kindly for a biscuit. That makes most old people forget about everything.

 

[Bourne Endeavor]

Respect your elders? A statement I have come to loathe for its intended purpose essentially claims I must do regardless of the attitude in which they recuperate. I have established my own measure of respect in that everyone initially begins upon fifty which shall increase or decrease according. Should the latter occur, I care not for the individual's age, they were unsuccessful in achieving my respect, and I shall treat them as such.

To answer the topic at hand, I despise wearing hats (baseball caps and such), thus such would never become an issue.

Respect is to be earned, not demended.

Joke for the topic: "With great age, comes great wise; or greater levels of stupidity"

 

[stone0042]

She's 84, i say respect your elders. And plus, looks good for the girlfriend

 

[Robert632]

i'd do it, just because she has what, 4,maybe 5 years left to live. may as well.