Review: Batman Arkham Asylum

[gunningyoudown]

Batman oh dear me another one? well its better then the 36 other Spiderman games out there. I mean its a great game every person out there says it. The "WORLDS GREATEST DETECTIVE" stars this, but wait i did not know Sherlock Holmes was batman. The story goes like blah blah blah Joker takes over blah blah Batman screwed by every major villain (or at least the the names and backgrounds of them) blah blah FIGHTS! You know the story already if you actually gave a rip about this game in the first place. The story is ok i guess, the riddles the riddler (nice name) gives are mostly simple or annoying (like lining the ? mark up exactly right). Even if its like a ballet of beating the crap out of thugs i still like the stealth path because you can jack people from the ground or even blow the wall behind them to bits its just plain fun. the most useful thing batman hast is the Detective eyes i mean you need them for most the game. if you have tvs like mine it shows little brightness and gritty picture so this cheers the place up a bit.
This may seam like i hate Batman but i don't Batman's cool but he is the least funny person in this game almost every person makes a joke in this game heck most of them where joker's but other people said them.

Bottom line if you like Batman and you have a Xbox306 or a Ps3 and 60ish bucks GET THE FREAKING GAME!!!!!. you don't need me to tell you get the freaking game and die happy thats all that needs to be said. good luck Sherlock Holmes

-Gunning You Down

 

[Radeonx]

This review is mediocre. Try bettering up your grammar, and explaining more. It's also horrifically short.

 

[gunningyoudown]

my lunch breaks at work are short

 

[Radeonx]

my lunch breaks at work are short

Then don't do it at lunch. Do it when you can at least put some effort into it.

 

[CJ1145]

my lunch breaks at work are short

Then write them at home...?

 

[Curtmiester]

So where is the decoder that comes with this?

 

[Gxas]

I'm at a loss. Do you like the game or not?

Sure, you said we should buy it, but you seem to hate everything about it.

Work on reviewing. "Blah blah blah" isn't descriptive, tangents are not your friends, and...

Well, maybe I just didn't understand what you were trying to say. It is poorly written and extremely hard to follow.

 

[gunningyoudown]

I'm at a loss. Do you like the game or not?

Sure, you said we should buy it, but you seem to hate everything about it.

Work on reviewing. "Blah blah blah" isn't descriptive, tangents are not your friends, and...

Well, maybe I just didn't understand what you were trying to say. It is poorly written and extremely hard to follow.

did you read the part of
This may seam like i hate Batman but i don't Batman's cool ?

 

[Gxas]

did you read the part of
This may seam like i hate Batman but i don't Batman's cool ?

Yes, did you read the part where I said it was poorly written and extremely hard to follow?

 

[nYuknYuknYuk]

Please spend more time on a review next time. This reads awful and very little can be derived from it.

 

[Lycaeus_Wrex]

'Reviews' like this cause my eyes to bleed. The main points in reviewing a game are to; A) Briefly explain the background so those who haven't been following the game get a solid idea of the premise; B) Highlight good and/or bad points of the game and how these positively/negatively affected your gaming experience and C) Format your review so that it makes for an interesting, informative and readable piece of prose. This fails on all three levels.

F. Next time you write a review at least put some effort into it...

L Wrex.

P.S. I fully understand that there are many more points other than the three listed above that go towards making a good review but hey, my lunch breaks at work are short...

 

[TsunamiWombat]

I actually read this review (god help me) and it's not really a review. You seem to mock it for the sake of being different, but then state the people who like it will still like it. You furthermore assume the reader will already know everything about the game. This isn't so much a coherent review as a half formed thought, a personal indictment of how this game was and has been hyped and yet despite the mediocrity of some of it's individual parts, it is lauded as a great game. This is a thought I feel exists in each of our minds in some form, but Arkham Asylum is more then the sum of it's parts, amounting to an enjoyable experience despite it's admitted flaws.

Of course, I could be over thinking it, and you could just be an idiot.

 

[Lycaeus_Wrex]

I actually read this review (god help me) and it's not really a review. You seem to mock it for the sake of being different, but then state the people who like it will still like it. You furthermore assume the reader will already know everything about the game. This isn't so much a coherent review as a half formed thought, a personal indictment of how this game was and has been hyped and yet despite the mediocrity of some of it's individual parts, it is lauded as a great game. This is a thought I feel exists in each of our minds in some form, but Arkham Asylum is more then the sum of it's parts, amounting to an enjoyable experience despite it's admitted flaws.

Of course, I could be over thinking it, and you could just be an idiot.

A little of column A, a little of column B.

L Wrex

 

[SnipErlite]

You made a half-decent point or two, but as most people have said the main gist of the argument wasn't put across too well. Personally I thought you disliked the game until the end where you stated you did, in fact, want others to enjoy it.

 

[PeaceFistCreations]

Personally I thought you disliked the game until the end where you stated you did, in fact, want others to enjoy it.

I had the same feeling going into your review. I thought the game was damn good, and was interested to read what I thought would be a negative review. The Sherlock joke had me lost until I read this over a few times, I thought you where making fun of the fact that Batman is a detective. I personally liked the joke though.
The story(or the blandness of it), could have been discussed/joked about in greater detail without losing my interest, but you tried to go with the tired "Blah-blah" joke, which was much more annoying than if had just actually wrote "I thought the story was bland, didn't give a fuck, lets skip that". Fine, I thought, maybe he'll have something interesting to discuss or review about what he thought of the gameplay.
But...
The middle area of the review, the spot where you were going to review the gameplay...didn't read like a...um...review. You know, the part where you were going to discuss what you thought about the gameplay mechanics and such...and...um..you like, totally fucking didn't?
You know, this part:
Even if its like a ballet of beating the crap out of thugs i still like the stealth path because you can jack people from the ground or even blow the wall behind them to bits its just plain fun. the most useful thing batman hast is the Detective eyes i mean you need them for most the game. if you have tvs like mine it shows little brightness and gritty picture so this cheers the place up a bit.
I can get the same amount of information by asking any random idiot what he thought of the gameplay in Batman.
You don't need perfect grammar and spacing to write an informative review, but it sure fucking helps. What you wrote is pretty much a note, or draft. You cannot make a note into a review(Well maybe its possible by someone else, but YOU definitely can't). I think next time you make a review on lunch break, you shouldn't just post it up right away. Just save it for later and work on it a bit.
There was nothing interesting or informative about this review. Please go through your reviews and give it a little bit of orgonization and clarity before posting it

 

[PeaceFistCreations]

I just read the review again for the last time, and now that I think about it, I have to add that I don't think anyone who has played the game will have any fucking idea what your talking about.
Fuck you and you retarded review. I hope you never make another.