Review future games, TODAY!

[Iwata]

The title says it all.

Following the example of Fox News and their awesome, on-the-money piece on Duke Nukem Forever, I'd like to invite the members of this community to preemptively review games, both promising and suspicious, that are yet to come out.

Take it away... uh... you.

 

[BlueberryMUNCH]

I was about to post something witty about Duke Nukem.
But then I read the OP.
And it made me sad.

 

[AnimatedAmbiguity]

The 3rd Birthday is high on visual flare, but low on actual enjoyability. The story makes little sense, and has little to no acknowledgment of it's predecessors ever having existed. On top of that, the length of the game is significantly short, only clocking in at about 5 to 6 hours your first playthrough. And just to add insult to injury our heroine, Aya Brea, seems to have lost the spunky charm of her personality. Instead, being reduced to a whiney, unconfident individual that's exploited at every turn of this lackluster adventure!

With little replay value, an unsatisfying plot, and a confused main character, The 3rd Birthday is a game that's sure to be forgotten long before the candles of celebration have been blown out. And on a side note: you may have noticed that I said nothing about the actual gameplay. Well, we are living in the year 2011, no? Nobody cares of gameplay anymore! Presentation is where it's at, dawg!

Now all that aside, I really do have high hopes for this game. And I know that's already been released, but for Go owners, this review/non-review is just for you!

 

[DevilWolf47]

Duke Nukem Forever:
We waited all these years for nothing.