Review: GTA IV

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sammyfreak

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Dec 5, 2007
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Yes! Another GTA review. In fact as you might have noticed the web is full of them and it seems they all are love letters to Rockstar. The current Metacritic score is 99 and several reviewers are calling it the best game in many years.

The game itself takes everything that was great about the older games in the series and makes them better, ALOT BETTER. The game has only minor flaws, in fact very minor flaws. Stuff like not being able to run down or up stairs and shadows looking a bit weird. I also had a few (2 after 7 hours) freezes, but since there is an excellent autosave system they don't do allot of harm. The game could hardly be called innovative but since the concept is so great it doesn't need innovation.

But this game isent GTA!

Really, it's not. It might have fooled all the reviewers of the world, but not me! I wont be taken in.

Let me take you back to the days of GTA III and GTA: Vice City. These games were completely awesome, the driving, the colors, the cultural atmosphere and above all; the cartoonish violence. We loved driving around as our avatar without a personality, killing killing killing. But there is still killing in GTA IV, lots of killing. There is also pop-culture, awesome radio and everything we like about the game.

But it isn't the same game, don't let yourself be fooled by the facade. Actually, i don't blame you if you are. It looks exactly like we would expect from an extremely polished entry of the series. But it's no longer a cartoon! This isn't fantasy anymore, this is a real game. In fact, Liberty city is a real city located somewhere of the coast of Nebraska. In the city you can find millions of radio controlled Bosnian immigrants that run around killing people.

But now i need to elaborate. What proves that this tittle is an impostor is because it doesn't play like a GTA game. We think of lots of great things when we think GTA and all of those are here. But they are just a facade. This is a really serious game, the characters aren't ridiculous; they are real. The streets aren't crushed by gang war anymore, in fact i haven't been able to identify any "gang NPCs" so far in the game. There doesn't seem to be any gang cloths anywhere in fact. The streets are populated by anonymous individuals and you don't see the same model a million times. In the older GTA games the cities weren't real, they were satires of cities. Animated paintings made out of polygons and pixels. But now they have a real city.

It lives and breaths, sucking up the air from your living room. Consuming your soul, chaining you to your TV. Only with great discipline did i manage to tear myself away from it.

GTA is all about playing pretend, in a pretend city.

This game, is not GTA. Its Grand Theft Real and it is so much better then what any GTA game could ever be.

Buy it.
 

Hamster at Dawn

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Mar 19, 2008
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I wish I could be playing it right now but my 360 decided that now was a good time to give the three red lights, after almost 2 years of flawless performance. Seriously, it's like God doesn't want me playing GTA IV.
 

qbert4ever

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Dec 14, 2007
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I'm in the same boat with Hamster, except I'm in the front with all the food, shelter, and women seeing as I'll be getting my 360 back tomorrow according to UPS.

As for the review, it gets a big "meh". You did not really touch on any aspects of the game other then it looks really nice. And capitalizing your "I"s wouldn't hurt either. Take the review, copy-paste onto Microsoft Word or some other such program with a spell-check system, add a bit more, and then replace this one with the edited one.
 

Cousin_IT

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Feb 6, 2008
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I dont blame them for "maturing" the GTA style. The Russian immigrant mobster image really hasnt been around in the mainstream consciousness long enough to make it ripe for a satirical/parody take on it like the Mafia or Gangstaz image has been.
 

stompy

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Jan 21, 2008
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I don't think this was 'sposed to be a traditional review, qbert. I see it as more of a "This is what I see as GTA4".

And, regardless of what you say, I'm getting GTA4, simply to play as a fucking Russian. I'm so gonna get an AK, go inot the middle of the street, and shoot into the air. "AK-47's for everyone!".

Edit: Hazzar, evolution. Though, I miss being infamous...
 

Lucane

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Mar 24, 2008
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Ok I wasn't sure where you were going with that at first but nice review
 

Drong

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Oct 31, 2007
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I have actually managed to pull myself away from the game for long enough to check the forums and while I do agree with nearly all of your review you were not all together right about the nameless faceless character in the previous titles, at least not in San Andreas where you played as CJ and though the story did not have the realism of this one you can see the evolution of the series.

It's the little details that have really got me, from the first time a high speed crash results in you coming flying through the windscreen to the smoke pouring out of the windows from Little Jacob hotboxing whenever you give him a lift to being able to throw coffee cups at people or rolling out of high jumps or the fact you can do the same mission but get different conversations and so many more.

Time however is the biggest test and whether I will still be singing it's praises as strongly in six months times remains to be seen though as of yet I have seen nothing that leads me to believe I won't.

Oh and the special edition box was great, the lockbox is solidly made, the bag is of a much higher quality than I expected and the lining looks great, Rockstar really went to town and big kudos to them for doing so.
 

Markness

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Apr 23, 2008
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excessum ado said:
sammyfreak said:
Nettacki said:
sammyfreak said:
Everything is an improvement, so much that GTA is now GTR.
lol, that's a nice way of justifying a typo.
Actually i wrote GTA originaly, but edited it to fit my review later on.
*Cough* bullshit *cough*
Its unlikely to be a typo as the letter R is not next to the letter A on the keyboard

I enjoyed reading the review, mostly as I will probably be getting the game soon and I haven't read any other reviews.

Curses at living in a boarding school with cencored internet. Stangely, this site is not blocked.
 

Xerosch

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Apr 19, 2008
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Well, to be honest: I was never interested in any of the previous GTA games. I played the very first, GTA 3 and San Andreas and never managed to play more than five hours. And now there´s GTA 4. I popped it in (I have to write a review, that´s why I got the game) and I really have to admit: The game is great. I´ve only played about four hours so far, but after mission 4 (where you have to beat up two guys, car chase their leader and fight him in the harbour), which I failed for about 5-6 times (I suck at driving passages/games) and finally managed to succeed, I simply knew, that I´ll be playing through this game.

I don´t know what exactly it is. Maybe it´s the tutorial that´s cleverly woven into the storyline or the characters which are all believable. But for the first time I felt that a GTA game was interested in letting me play it and took it upon itself to suck me in one step at a time.
 

nightmare_gorilla

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Jan 22, 2008
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holy shit, i think i'm the only person in the world who hates this game, i mean really hates. i picked it up on the advice of a friend on friday and after only playing it twice i returned it. seriously, nothing about this game impressed me, the drving sucks big time which is a fairly detrimental thing. as far as the main character and your first "boss" roman, i actually liked the characters in saint's row better and i hated those assholes. this game has actually made me agree with some of the people who hate video games, why is it in every gta game you have to be surrounded by the most overtly racist slovenly losers to ever crawl out of the gene pool. being racist doesn't bother me in all honesty, being a loser doesn't bother me, but combining those aspects and then making that loser my responsability to look after like some big fat baby who shits all over the place. and oh yeah he's your boss meaning he's "higher up" than you.

i somehow thought they learned that people like customization in these games because the main character is always a prick dressed like a fruit. but no we're back to looking like some scraggly little cockstain in some of the ugliest clothes ever invented.

i officially decided i hated this game after the first "date" you go on and i experienced the most uncomfortable moment in a video game ever, that car ride dialoge was PAINFUL and now we're a mass murdering ex army psyco who bowls? give me a fucking break thats what gta has been lacking is it? fucking inane minigames and sims style dating arangements? good lord how did this peice of shit game get perfect scores across the board. this is litterally one of the worste games i've ever played. definitly the weakest of the series and WAY behind saints row, even from a graphical standpoint saint's row is just prettier but that might be the fact that everything in gta has this unwashable layer of grime on it, people, cars, buildings, so why not the sky too.
 

Gigantor

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Dec 26, 2007
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excessum ado said:
*Cough* bullshit *cough*
This made me laugh. Do you not think that if he had accidentally typed GTR instead of GTA then he would have just gone back and changed it using the backspace or delete key, rather than writing a sentence at the end justifying the typo? Oy...

Still haven't finished the game. Must get to it...
 

sammyfreak

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Dec 5, 2007
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A mod must have changed my title! Evil ones. But nevermind, i rewrote this review and sent it in to the review arena.

I am awaiting yours with great anticipation and fear Mr Wilde.