Rhyming Reviews

The Rhyming Reviewer

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Jun 30, 2023
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If, talking in rhyme, I may be so bold:
Beasts, grime and darkness are tales often told
of fear, isolation, all hinged on weakness;
a character matched by environment's bleakness,
slowness of movement; deliberate controls
on these features survival experiences mould,
where clicking and dragging is brought to the fore
to heighten the tension and dread to implore,
in recent years these ingredients sold
in quantities rising as much as tenfold.
Yet here, it's a much smaller studio's turn
though three went before it, there was some concern:
here there's a singular enemy hunting
you through tight corridors, darkness confronting
you. When light runs out you'll cower and hide
and finding fire fuel, your time you will bide—
and often that means gibbering in a corner
but waiting too long will make you a mourner
at your very own gut wrenching demise
you'll watch yourself crumpled up in from the sides.
Exploration and movement are where this excels
a random and limited world you can delve.
In an age where everything must be enourmous
it's nice to see something a dormouse
could run. Tightly contained and tightly conceived
if you play it too much you'll need some sick leave.

What is the subject of this here review?
It's an eight out of ten, and still near brand-new.

If in rhyme you are willing to write
my overall purpose will remain airtight.
 
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Chimpzy

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A fun schtick, tho I wonder aloud,
something that wasn't obvious to me,
is which game this review is about.

Clear that up, if you don't mind.
Because understanding is key.
Without, it feels a tad undermined.
 

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
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United Kingdom
If more clues you seek, I'll be glad to oblige
There's a timeframe within which this review applies
think of a game set before you were born
with a deathtoll so great the whole world still mourns.

A fun schtick, tho I wonder aloud,
something that wasn't obvious to me,
is which game this review is about.

Clear that up, if you don't mind.
Because understanding is key.
Without, it feels a tad undermined.
 

Chimpzy

Simian Abomination
Legacy
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Apr 3, 2020
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If more clues you seek, I'll be glad to oblige
There's a timeframe within which this review applies
think of a game set before you were born
with a deathtoll so great the whole world still mourns.
Would I have to make a guess
Amnesia: The Bunker fits best
But if that is wrong
And another belongs
I bid please don't think of me less
 

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
Sun, sea and sand are the dreams of the many
but in games guns and killing are both two-a-penny
so what better way to reconcile each
than a trip to an island and death on the beach.

You start in the city but soon make your way
to places remote and corpse-straddled bays;
the heat from the sun burning holes in your screen
you'll wipe sweat from your brow and smell gasoline,

For because it's a world opened up to your stride
you'll potter about picking trash cast aside
to fill up your meters of garbage and gas
and to build little huts you will work off your ass.

At the end of the day their purpose is vague
these collectathons are a modern day plague
if you just turn your eye and only shoot guns
your time will be blessed with a whole lot more fun.

The story's a nonsense and not half as good
as others before it and writers who should
by no means portray foreigners in this way:
they all speak in English except for cliches.

The odd foreign word is a trope lacking wit,
but at least I have learned Spanish for "eat shit".
My recommendation is find it on sale,
else there's not much joy in a six times told tale.
 

CriticalGaming

Elite Member
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Sun, sea and sand are the dreams of the many
but in games guns and killing are both two-a-penny
so what better way to reconcile each
than a trip to an island and death on the beach.

You start in the city but soon make your way
to places remote and corpse-straddled bays;
the heat from the sun burning holes in your screen
you'll wipe sweat from your brow and smell gasoline,

For because it's a world opened up to your stride
you'll potter about picking trash cast aside
to fill up your meters of garbage and gas
and to build little huts you will work off your ass.

At the end of the day their purpose is vague
these collectathons are a modern day plague
if you just turn your eye and only shoot guns
your time will be blessed with a whole lot more fun.

The story's a nonsense and not half as good
as others before it and writers who should
by no means portray foreigners in this way:
they all speak in English except for cliches.

The odd foreign word is a trope lacking wit,
but at least I have learned Spanish for "eat shit".
My recommendation is find it on sale,
else there's not much joy in a six times told tale.
To my understanding,
this is about Death's Stranding.
 

Chimpzy

Simian Abomination
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Apr 3, 2020
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You're on the right track, but you've taken a turn
so here is a tidbit to help you discern:
think less of the beaches and more about "six"
and there's lots of Spanish thrown in the mix.
It's Far Cry 6, not that hard to know
Even tho it's kinda the series low
Cuz it's pretty mid
No doubt about it
Even with Giancarlo Esposito
 

Old_Hunter_77

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Dec 29, 2021
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Many games with this name have come before
But a question that come from this one, you see
Before you let a copy of this one through you door
Is to know or care about what really makes an RPG

Combat like Devil May Cry
And story like Game of Thrones
Make some long-time fans wonder why
This is a game they should even own

But none of this matters at all
When it's time to fight a beast
And hurl a big fireball
And get some spectacle and thrill at least

How does it compare
To the other fifteen?
I don't care
Rating: 14 out of nineteen
 
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BrawlMan

Lover of beat'em ups.
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Many games with this name have come before
But a question that come from this one, you see
Before you let a copy of this one through you door
Is to know or care about what really makes an RPG

Combat like Devil May Cry
And story like Game of Thrones
Make some long-time fans wonder why
This is a game they should even own

But none of this matters at all
When it's time to fight a beast
And hurl a big fireball
And get some spectacle and thrill at least

How does it compare
To the other fifteen?
I don't care
Rating: 14 out of nineteen
Why so mean about Final Fantasy XVI?
 
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The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
It's Far Cry 6, not that hard to know
Even tho it's kinda the series low
Cuz it's pretty mid
No doubt about it
Even with Giancarlo Esposito
You are right, you're the one, your guess is supreme
but I think that the next one must be more extreme.
 

Old_Hunter_77

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Dec 29, 2021
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Yes you can play this without the first two
But knowing the background lore is even better for you
A game that devs still try to copy with quest design
But ultimately fail to capture this heart of mine
Some same movement and combat are weak
But nothing so bad or that mods can't tweak
The story, the visuals, the characters- oh my!
So much game to delight the ear and eye
So many quests in which we came and went
But sometimes you just want a game of gwent
 

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
Yes you can play this without the first two
But knowing the background lore is even better for you
A game that devs still try to copy with quest design
But ultimately fail to capture this heart of mine
Some same movement and combat are weak
But nothing so bad or that mods can't tweak
The story, the visuals, the characters- oh my!
So much game to delight the ear and eye
So many quests in which we came and went
But sometimes you just want a game of gwent
There once was a game called The Witcher,
whose players are all the more richer;
on long games of gwent
many hours I've spent
Though I lose I am never a quitter.
 
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Jun 11, 2023
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There once was a game called The Witcher,
whose players are all the more richer;
on long games of gwent
many hours I've spent
Though I lose I am never a quitter.
But which would that be?
Since you aren’t more specific
This one ends with a three
And it’s rather terrific



On topic,

A tale of guns, deserts, outlaws and crimes
In a distant era the protagonist might have been Rick Grimes
It was spawned from a failed effort at first
Reworked by a studio whose sales generally chart first
Tough as nails holds firm of the old school variety
True to era, it might have one abandon sobriety
An unsung example of humble beginnings
Led to sequels of which many fans would be grinning
One mystery was surfaced not too long ago
If the hero might have wound up being someone with lumbago
 
Last edited:

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
But which would that be?
Since you aren’t more specific
This one ends with a three
And it’s rather terrific
Which Witcher is which? Which one? he replied.
The Witcher which I like you cannot divide
except by itself, unless you want half
but the Witcher which I like cannot be denied.
 

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
This one's a change from the usual pace
from evisceration to running a place,
while killing's no longer the name of the game,
if your visitors die, you've noone else to blame.
It's a sequel, to start with, and one you can see
the customisation is greater, no hyperbole.
There's a whole lot more trees and sand you can paint;
about sculpting your land I have no complaint,
Yet in one aspect sadly the devs were not moved,
the management side has proved unimproved.
While you're happily sculpting a beautiful scene
Your guests display paleolithic genes
They want nothing more than a drink every inch
And a burger a meter, but at threats they don't flinch
Cause they've got all the character of dry tree bark
I'm sure they had more way back in Theme Park.
You spend all your time poring over the maps
making sure there's a clothes shop or else they'll collapse,
but still, you can put those guys out of your mind
at least the construction is fairly streamlined,
although you can't make everything how you want
you can jigger and poke at it till it's something you flaunt
in screenshots and posts you can wave at your friend
and you wonder at all of the time you have spent.
 

Chimpzy

Simian Abomination
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Apr 3, 2020
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I'm pretty sure it's a theme park game
Tho I'm just unable to think of a name
No clue I can glint
But if paleolithic's a hint
Jurassic World Evolution 2 I proclaim
 

The Rhyming Reviewer

Regular Member
Jun 30, 2023
14
3
13
Country
United Kingdom
I'm pretty sure it's a theme park game
Tho I'm just unable to think of a name
No clue I can glint
But if paleolithic's a hint
Jurassic World Evolution 2 I proclaim
That's the one, guessed again,
I'll have to try harder, a more secretive game.