Romance is Futile

[cikame]

The pain of breaking up with someone is huge, a lot of people let this pain go and move on which is the healthy thing to do but i've never been able to do that, i'm not kidding when i say i still feel sorrow for a break up i had 9 years ago.
I don't think a normal person does that so i decided at some point to be alone for the forseeable future, i don't want someone to stand by me if my mind can't let go of another, i'd like to think i'm doing it so that others can be happier with someone other than me, yeah, i'm such a nice person...
I do notice potential sparks i could pursue but i let them go, it's easier for me to forget if it never happens.

I've trained myself to be alone now, i doubt i could undo that.

I use my parents and other couples i see on a daily basis to conclude marriage is a terrible idea.

 

[kickyourass]

I can't say I can't empathize, literally every single person I'm interested in is unavailable for various reasons, the one relationship I HAVE had was cut amazingly short due to her family moving almost immediately after I asked her out, and all my friends are in that absolutely disgustingly cute starting point of their relationships (I swear I'm gonna damn cavity from these people). My life definitely sucks lovin' wise, but please, PLEASE don't let this handful of experience spoil the idea of romance for you.

Sometimes love works, sometimes it doesn't, it epically sucks when it doesn't and there's a kabillion little puzzles involved in it, most of which you have to figure out all on your damn own (Like the rate and manner with which you can ask people if their available without sounding creepy/desperate/ETC). But don't give up, maybe take a break for a while, I've accepted that I'm just not meant to have a significant other right now, maybe just put that part of your brain into neutral for the foreseeable future, for some people it's just best not to actively think on it. But don't 100% give up.

I can't really give 'insight' my one relationship lasted all of 2 weeks, all I can really say is, maybe don't actively look for love, be happy with what friends you have, and if you really seem compatible with someone, don't hesitate like you did here. Have restraint, I mean, first find out if you like them at all, but if you have this sort of gut reaction again, don't wait so long, at least ask her out. Your body usually has this sort of reaction for a reason, and if you leave it too long you're just gonna be right back here again and I'd really rather not see that.

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

Everything is futile because we all die in the end. But that's the wrong way of looking at things. Some things just feel good and since you're alive you may as well pursuit things that make you feel good. Love is the best one of those things. It feels amazing. Two people deriving happiness from providing the other one with happiness. That's pretty much all there is to it. There are practical uses for a relationship as well. It's nice to have someone to take care of you when you need it. And it's nice to take care of someone.

 

[Riot3000]

OP I can see where you are coming from and despite some of the heat your getting it is all opinion at the end of the day.

You don't have to pursue romance, love or any of that stuff. Yes you will get harped as skipping out on the "best part of the human experience" but remember this is your life. If you feel its futile that is fine, if you feel different you are allowed to change your mind just don't it to appease anyone but yourself and not worry about filling in some criteria others put on you on how to live your life.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Been there, done that. Had a very attractive woman start talking to me in an elevator once when I was on a lunch break, but my mind was elsewhere & I didn't even realize that I'd missed a very good chance until I was headed back to work. Damn I'm an idiot sometimes...

Anyway every "relationship" I've ever been in has been bittersweet to say the least. Always had to end them because of outside circumstances. Just my luck, but I've never givin up, I'm looking for someone new right now. It always sucks when things don't work out, but the prize is worth the hunt.