Saints Row: The Third Review

Aureliano

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Mar 5, 2009
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Since I couldn't possibly be more enthused about Saints Row The Third, I had at best lukewarm feelings about this review. New information to be sure but that voice...ugh.
 

SnakeoilSage

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Sep 20, 2011
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Greg... what was that? You didn't really review anything and you did it in the weirdest voice I have ever heard. It was almost... transcendant. It's like listening to a teenaged quasi-faux-suburban-white-gangsta-wannabe from a wealthy family and too much of dad's money hosting an episode of Cribs, promoting his pretentious house while his disapproving Old Country grandmother glares at him on camera, and he's trying to pretend she isn't there, and the episode keeps getting more and more awkward and tense while the camera lingers on shots of her flaring nostrils and tendons creaking as she rings the handles of her walker, and you're starting to imagine the naggy guilt-storm you have to put up with after the show in order to keep your trust fund.

So... I'm guessing you liked the game, but you said nothing that wasn't already emphasized in the game trailers or brought back from Saint's Row 2. Maybe you're trying to keep most of the suprisies to a minimum, maybe between this an Skyrim you were running late on your review, but there's... nothing here. Nothing about how melee combat feels or if the missions are improved or whether you have to spend all of your time building up respect in mini-games in order to complete missions. Nothing about the graphics or the quality of the music stations or the kind of weapons you can get. Nothing.

How can a game with so many fix'ems get such an empty review, man? It's okay, you can tell us. I don't want an apology or anything, just, what happened to ya, Greg?
 

Greg Tito

PR for Dungeons & Dragons
Sep 29, 2005
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SnakeoilSage said:
Greg... what was that? You didn't really review anything and you did it in the weirdest voice I have ever heard. It was almost... transcendant. It's like listening to a teenaged quasi-faux-suburban-white-gangsta-wannabe from a wealthy family and too much of dad's money hosting an episode of Cribs, promoting his pretentious house while his disapproving Old Country grandmother glares at him on camera, and he's trying to pretend she isn't there, and the episode keeps getting more and more awkward and tense while the camera lingers on shots of her flaring nostrils and tendons creaking as she rings the handles of her walker, and you're starting to imagine the naggy guilt-storm you have to put up with after the show in order to keep your trust fund.

So... I'm guessing you liked the game, but you said nothing that wasn't already emphasized in the game trailers or brought back from Saint's Row 2. Maybe you're trying to keep most of the suprisies to a minimum, maybe between this an Skyrim you were running late on your review, but there's... nothing here. Nothing about how melee combat feels or if the missions are improved or whether you have to spend all of your time building up respect in mini-games in order to complete missions. Nothing about the graphics or the quality of the music stations or the kind of weapons you can get. Nothing.

How can a game with so many fix'ems get such an empty review, man? It's okay, you can tell us. I don't want an apology or anything, just, what happened to ya, Greg?
I was trying something new, SnakeOil. I know it's not the standard review, but if you pay attention, you'll see a lot of what I'm talking about is commentary on the game.

If you want the more informative stuff without the character, check out the written review. It's got all of the the things you wanted to me to discuss. The two parts (video and article) are best when consumed together, especially with this review, but with all our reviews.

Greg
 

008Zulu_v1legacy

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Sep 6, 2009
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Greg Tito said:
So much to do in Steelport, so little time ?
Do you know how well the PC version of the game runs? Plan on getting it for the PC (maybe, depending on Aussie censorship) and was hoping to get some data on its performance.
 

Revolutionary

Pub Club Am Broken
May 30, 2009
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Well I thought the review "style" was good Greg. Probably wouldn't work for other games but I think this time it worked.
 

putowtin

I'd like to purchase an alcohol!
Jul 7, 2010
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Already preordered, but that's for the confirmation that this game rocks!
 

SnakeoilSage

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Sep 20, 2011
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Greg Tito said:
I was trying something new, SnakeOil. I know it's not the standard review, but if you pay attention, you'll see a lot of what I'm talking about is commentary on the game.

If you want the more informative stuff without the character, check out the written review. It's got all of the the things you wanted to me to discuss. The two parts (video and article) are best when consumed together, especially with this review, but with all our reviews.

Greg
True enough, but just stick to yourself man. "Shaft O'Mickinley" isn't nearly as cool as Greg Tito, Saint of Steelport, dig it?
 

LokiArchetype

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Nov 11, 2009
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Watching that made me feel awkward and embarrassed.

It was like walking in on someone striking poses in front of a mirror while talking to their reflection, and having to watch instead of quietly leaving before they notice your presence so that you both can pretend it never happened.
 

PH3NOmenon

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Oct 23, 2009
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So, I watch the review video. I read the written review. And I don't know jack about the game.

Are you just saying it's Saints Row 2 all over again? Is PC vehicle handling improved? Is there now any reason to earn money beyond using it to earn more money or change your appearance? Is it worth buying this if you already own SR2 or is it just a cash-in on past fame? Aside from a more user-friendly interface in the smart-phone, does it actually do anything new? Can I finally listen to my own tunes in the car? Has the AI improved since the last iteration? Is the game actually challenging now? I remember SR2 being fun, but without any challenge the fun eventually (and I do mean after a goodly amount of hours) started to feel hollowed-out. If every one of your owned shops resets your threat-level, does police ever impose any kind of challenge?


Kind of a swing and a miss on this review. Kudos for trying something new, but some more information would be appreciated, even in the written review.
 

Harry Mason

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Mar 7, 2011
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Just four more days... Just four more days... Just four more days...
*Twitch Twitch*

My friends and I are turning up at the midnight release dressed as purple gangsters carrying a boombox playing tunes from the game.

It's going to be AWESOME.
 

gphjr14

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Aug 20, 2010
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Look forward to the game. Do everyone a favor and just review the game next time, voice acting isn't your strong suit.
 

Swifteye

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Apr 15, 2010
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Wow dude. That was very Dorky. Which reminds me. Is yahtzee going to review this? Cause yathzee could make a entertaining review of this sort of game. I remember him proposing to saints row two so maybe he'll go for an upgrade.
 

The Random One

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May 29, 2008
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Greg, I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but you are the worst gangsta ever. Don't quit your dayjob (of pretending to be a gangsta).
 

BehattedWanderer

Fell off the Alligator.
Jun 24, 2009
5,237
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Different. I appreciate the effort, but maybe polish it up a bit. Couldn't hurt. Also: I am so excited for this. I may need a new chair, soon, because I am actively vibrating with excitement, and might soon tear through the elastic deformation in my chair from rebounding stresses, and move into the plastic deformation.

EDIT:
Greg Tito said:
Saints Row: The Third Review

So much to do in Steelport, so little time ?

Read Full Article
One question, can you import characters from the initiation station smoothly, or do you have to remake them?
 

iameoghan

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Nov 23, 2009
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First time posting on the forums
Awful video, really really bad
Written part was fine but good lord that video, please don't do that again
How was that ok'd?
 
Feb 9, 2011
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That was kind of annoying to listen to honestly. I felt like you didn't review much at all; you just showed a video montage of you doing this, that and the other, all the while talking in some strange, character-driven voice. I'm all for trying new things, but not that again.