Greg... what was that? You didn't really review anything and you did it in the weirdest voice I have ever heard. It was almost... transcendant. It's like listening to a teenaged quasi-faux-suburban-white-gangsta-wannabe from a wealthy family and too much of dad's money hosting an episode of Cribs, promoting his pretentious house while his disapproving Old Country grandmother glares at him on camera, and he's trying to pretend she isn't there, and the episode keeps getting more and more awkward and tense while the camera lingers on shots of her flaring nostrils and tendons creaking as she rings the handles of her walker, and you're starting to imagine the naggy guilt-storm you have to put up with after the show in order to keep your trust fund.
So... I'm guessing you liked the game, but you said nothing that wasn't already emphasized in the game trailers or brought back from Saint's Row 2. Maybe you're trying to keep most of the suprisies to a minimum, maybe between this an Skyrim you were running late on your review, but there's... nothing here. Nothing about how melee combat feels or if the missions are improved or whether you have to spend all of your time building up respect in mini-games in order to complete missions. Nothing about the graphics or the quality of the music stations or the kind of weapons you can get. Nothing.
How can a game with so many fix'ems get such an empty review, man? It's okay, you can tell us. I don't want an apology or anything, just, what happened to ya, Greg?