Sassafrass Reviews: Predators (2010)

[Sassafrass]

Notes Before I begin

Any TL;DR (Too Long; Didn?t Read) posts or any smart arse variation on TL;DR will result in a report.
Any images are provided by Google.
There will be spoilers ahead.

When the newest Predators film was announced, you could almost here the collective groans from the fans. ?Oh no? you could hear, ?This is going to be terrible; it?ll besmirch the Predator name, just like Alien Vs Predator did.? I am a little more trusting in matters like these, however. I head into films willing to watch them before coming to a conclusion. So, going into this with an open mind and knowing very little about it, I was assuming that it would be a rather enjoyable, if dumb, action film.

[Img_Inline width="375" Caption="The good doctor there, showing off his tools." Align="right"]http://www.joblo.com/newsimages1/predators55sm.jpg[/Img_Inline]

The film begins with a bit of a mystery, with Royce, (Played by Adrian Brody) being dropped into a forest of some kind without an explanation as to why. After his arrival, he is quickly joined in the same manner by Mexican drug cartel enforcer Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), Spetsnaz soldier Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), Israel Defense Forces sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga), Revolutionary United Front officer Mombasa (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), death row inmate Stans (Walton Goggins), Yakuza enforcer Hanzo (Louis Ozawa Changchien), and doctor Edwin (Topher Grace), who all arrive in the same way, without any knowledge as to how they got there. They are all armed to the teeth with various weapons, with the exception of Edwin and Stans too. After being introduced in various ways to each character, normally by virtue of a small gunfight or snarky comment from the cast, they eventually group up and try to head to higher ground, with Royce taking the lead of this merry band of mobsters, criminals and a doctor, with the plan of escaping this jungle. As the trek through the jungle, they stumble across a neurotoxin plant, which Edwin collects and keeps for study on a scalpel, as well as cages. Upon accidentally releasing the traps left at the cage site by a US Special Forces guy who has been killed since then, they then stumble across the high ground they were after and see the sky. One thing is for sure here. They need a new plan.

However, this idea for a new plan is disrupted when the group is attacked by a pack of quadrupedal alien beasts. Now, this scene feels like it was shoved in so they could advance the plot and kill of one of the characters. And it is. After the resulting gunfight and Isabelle being saved from blowing her head off by a whistle, calling back the alien beasts, they regroup and realise that they are being hunted and the merry band of eight is now a merry band of seven. Leaving the lost man to his fate, they move on. As they go on, they find out a camp with a Predator tied to a totem pole. As they investigate, one of the group notices Royce has gone missing. Naturally, a fight breaks out and in the end, as the group runs for their lives, and they end up rolling down a bank and landing in a conveniently placed lake. After a small verbal spat between Isabelle and Royce about Royce using the group as bait to find out what they are up against, it?s revealed that Isabelle knows a little about the Predators but only what they were told by the only survivor from the incident in Guatamala.

[Img_Inline width="375" Caption="This is as awesome as it looks. Trust me on this." Align="left"]http://9e3k.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/predators-vs-ninja.jpg[/Img_Inline]

Pushing on after that, the group runs into Noland (Lawrence Fishburne) who tells them all about the Predators, their habits and hunting patterns and much more. Now after this, everything pretty much goes down hill for the group as Noland tries to kill them, trapping them in and trying to smoke them to death by locking them into a small room and starting a fire outside. Royce decides to bring the Predators to him to dispose of Roland by blowing a hole in the wall of the room, which they notice, and this sets up the rest of the film, with the last thirty to forty minutes being devoted to guns, swords and the return of the spine ripping scene, albeit it briefly.

Now, while on paper this does sound like a good action flick, it is not. It is a haphazard, sloppy and terrible movie, with no likeable characters at all. Any potentially likeable characters are killed off at the start, leaving the film devoid of any one to like. The rest of the group are a distinctly unlikeable bunch, displaying about as much charm and charisma as a brick wall covered with offensive graffti that insults your mother. The character of Royce is meant to come across as an emotionless mercenary who cares about himself and he does that job well, I will admit that. But that is the problem this film has, if you cannot find the lead of the film likeable, how is it possible to like the film? In addition, this is a problem that is not only restricted to Royce, but others in the cast as well. They are all casted as heartless, soulless monsters, with the exception of Edwin, from the get-go, so any emotions they do show for their actions in the movie feel out of place, against the way the characters are portrayed. Moreover, character continuity goes out the window towards the end, where one of the ?good? guys suddenly goes batshit and tries to kill one of the group. It just stinks of the director and writing crew failing to also remember that the guy who goes ?evil? had previously been the movie screen equivalent of me, a bit of a chicken shit. Geez, that was a sudden change from wuss to psychopath, was it not, Predators? And as for the plot, the less I say about that, the better. Mainly as I would be lying if I said there was a plot that I could see or at least, it has so many holes left in it, you could see the people who made this film counting their money behind it.

[Img_Inline width="375" Caption="Congratulations, you?re fucked! Your career I mean, not you, personally." Align=right]http://www.onlinemovieshut.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/predators-movie-trailer.jpg[/Img_Inline]

Now, I?ll admit, yes, as this is an action movie, I should not be too harsh on not being able to like the characters or notice the plot as these things normally take second place to the action. However, when you look at other action movies, like the Die Hard series, the Rambo series and most recently The Expendables, all of which have at the very least a likeable lead and/or supporting cast and a plot that, although basic, implemented into the film and actually moves the action forward, Predators just flops in comparison. As for why the rest of the movie is so bad for me, I could sit here, rattle off about five pages, and still have venom to spit at it. But lets just focus on the action scenes, as if I carry on about the points above, I?ll be here for years. While the action scenes are full of gunfire and explosions, they aren?t amazing, but they aren?t terrible either. To me, they are passable, adequate. Average, one might say. A few scenes stand out, for example the fight between Hanzo and a Predator, which was nicely done, but for the rest of the sequences, very little sticks out in my mind. Most films like this have a few memorable action sequences but only two stand out here, the one mentioned and the ending. But that only stands out as it is the ending, so it needs to be somewhat good, even if a little bit weird.

With all of the above said, I did however like some things about this film. There is a cool fight scene towards the end of the film where Hanzo takes on a Predator, which is nicely done. The Predators look badass too, with a few redesigns here and there. They do not stray too far from the tried and tested look too much, which is only a good thing. And I guess, although I hate the whole emotionless mercenaries thing, the cast do act their roles fairly well, coming across as very bland and emotionless, especially Adrian Brody as Royce, who is as emotionless as a brick wall, which fits his character well. The spine ripping out scene in the film is also cool as well. In addition, the location where they filmed the film is also very pretty, I guess. Lots of green and brighter green, not much in the way of browns or dull colours, for the most part. ?Yeah, I am struggling to find anything else I like about this film. Time to wrap this up, I think, before I just go on for another two pages.

[Img_Inline width="300" Caption="He looks badass. Sorta." Align=left]http://movieuptodate.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/predators-movie-51.jpg[/Img_Inline]

Predators seems to want you to take it as more then an action flick. I do not know why, but to me it seems it was trying too hard to be serious or trying too hard to one up the original Predator film. Sure, there is a lot of action, but it is meh at best, with one exception. There is no tension through out the entire film or at the end of this film, which makes me feel indifferent about the cast. They do not click with me, so I do not really care about them or the film. To me, it is just a glorified remake, made to net the people who made it some more money, so they could make a movie with bigger explosions some when down the line. In addition, with a possible sequel likely, [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Predators_(film)#Sequel] this is more then likely to be the case. As for whether you should watch this film, I would strongly advise against it, even those who love the Predators films before this. It is a dumb film, yes. However, it is far from enjoyable.

[small]If I was given a choice between watching this and listening to a stupidly boring lecture on slugs, I?d listen to the slug lecture. As it would be ten times more enjoyable then this film was for me.[/small]

Spoiler: Finished and posted works.

Films and TV: Hot Fuzz [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.163840] - UK Big Brother and Celeb Big Brother [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.167121] - Scrubs (Sassafrass, VaudevillianVeteran and Pimppeter2) [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.167644] - Black Sheep [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.174430] - Dave, a TV channel [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.181712] - Twilight: Eclipse [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.213377] - The X-Factor (Sassafrass and VaudevillianVeteran) [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.250859] - Predators (2010)

Games: Final Fantasy X [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.166262] - Borderlands [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.180755] - Colin McRaeiRT 2 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.187935] - Final Fantasy 13, plus guide review [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.203989] - Viva Pinata [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.234884] - Fallout: New Vegas [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.246820] - Fable III [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.255418-Sassafrass-Reviews-Fable-III]

Music: Full Fathom Five by Clutch [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.206062]

Random reviews: Friends list review, no 4. [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.170076] Friends list review 1, 2, 3 lost.

Game previews: Final Fantasy 13 [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/jump/326.178502]

 

[Souplex]

I'm very upset that they cut Chris Hansen out of this version.

/Bad Joke.

 

[VaudevillianVeteran]

Uuuuuuuugh. As a fan of both the Alien and Predator series, you have no idea how badly I wish they'd cut the plug on these films. They've been on life support for the longest time, just let them die in peace and stop making them fight each other!

Ahem.
Anyway, a grand somewhat shorter review compared to your others, none the less, what lacks in the usual length, makes up with your usual punchy, to the point and excellent reviewing. Keep up the good work, sir!

 

[Lost In The Void]

Well this is awkward; this is the first time I've enjoyed a review or yours and yet disagreed so much with with you had to say. While the characters at the end did come off as slightly unlikable; I still ended up enjoying the film a lot, even as a fan of the old movies. I don't even know why, but to me it was well put together, adding the mystery of the Predators while still holding onto the action packed scenes at the same time.


There's really only one thing that annoyed me in the structure of your review though; that being 'And it is.'This seems like it could have been attached to one of the sentences and while I understand why it was written as it was; it is kind of a sloppy way to incorporate the effect you were going for. Personally I would have gone for a more 'Now, this scene feels like it was shoved in so they could advance the plot and kill of one of the characters; and this proves to be true once the fight has ended...'

Small nitpicks aside though, as I said it was a review I enjoyed, though I disagree with the final opinion. Its been too long Sass between reviews though; I want to see more.

LITV

 

[Dogstile]

The first half of your review was more of a retelling of the plot than a review.

Also, damn dude, I thought the characters were likable and that the guy who goes batshit had all these little clues through the film. Maybe it was just me.

 

[Marter]

Two paragraphs in a row began with the word "now". Also, "Alien VS Predator" should be italicised, as it is the series.

Apart from that, it was a very good review.

My thoughts on the film are non-existent, as I haven't seen it. It is the one film I need before I own all of the films from the Predator, Alien and AVP series, and will review them all, one after another.

 

[ImSkeletor]

I actually found Stans to be very likable because of how hilariously friggen insane he was. It was one of the best films of last year. I do have to say that though I disagree it was a well written review.

 

[Sassafrass]

Two paragraphs in a row began with the word "now". Also, "Alien VS Predator" should be italicised, as it is the series.

I'll try to keep that in mind but knowing my sieve like brain it'll leak out and I'l make the same mistake next time. XP

SNIP

Criticisms taken aboard and noted ahead of my next review, good sir. But like I said, brain is sieve, they'll leak out before then, leaving me with egg on my face. XP

The first half of your review was more of a retelling of the plot than a review.

Also, damn dude, I thought the characters were likable and that the guy who goes batshit had all these little clues through the film. Maybe it was just me.

Yeah, my movies reviews tend to be like that a little bit. I used to do it in game reviews too but I haven't seen it mentioned yet so I must be doing something right in those.

Well, I did like Hanzo. Mainly because of the fight with the Predator at the end, plus he seemed to be the only guy there who wasn't trying to make himself look badass, he just came across as a badass. And I'd have to watch the film again to see if I could pick up on those hints but...not really planning to. XD

 

[rwege]

I thought this was the best remake ive seen in years or possibly ever.

 

[Astoria]

While this is a well written review I have to disagree with you. I actually quite enjoyed this and while yes it is nowhere near the quality of the original Predator movie it's still fairly watchable. I think that Royce becomes more likeable at the end and I liked how they stayed true to how predators have previously been done.

 

[Neonbob]

I loved this film. It had lots of shooting, a fucking kickass sword fight, and Lawrence Fishburne! Still, well written review, and you made some good points.
I just chose to ignore those issues you saw

 

[RaphaelsRedemption]

I enjoyed the film. Oddly, though, I would have picked the swordfight as the weakest point in the film, as I felt it was a needless shoehorning of an asian style into the movie. It didn't make much sense to me at all.

It was, on the whole, a mindless film, and when I went to see it, that is what I got. Yay, I suppose.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

If you don't mind I want to make a few criticisms about you're reviewing technique/style or whatever one would like to call it.

First off, as others have mentioned, the first quarter to a third was more of a long winded synopsis then a review. Rather then tell the story you should split your review into short segments dealing with a specific aspect of the film (Plot, characters, specific scenes) and tackle each one as they crop up, rather then unloading the plot and then unloading you're review of it.

If you were to work on that, you could get a more descriptive and meaningful analysis of each segment and still avoid plot bombs and spoilers. Which is another problem, a review shouldn't blow the whole story out of the water (I read reviews when considering watching something, not to nod in agreement or shake my head in disapproval). Ultimately this review resonates as more of rant then a true review.

Not criticising you're barb or anything, a sharp tongue and a vicious critical eye can fit neatly into a review, but again, due to the current layout, it seems you introduce it a bit too thoroughly and then berate it in a way that seems like you're venting frustrations. I imagine mingling the 2 aspects (while toning down spoilers) will complement an aggressive negative review more so then a positive one.

Another thing (last one for now), when you get to the comparison between the subject and other similar titles it would be better to give specific examples of each aspect you criticised e.g: The scene in X where Bruce shoots the bad guy then says Yippy blah blah was better then the part where Adrian gets the dork and says witty one liner, because Bruce made his character enjoyable to watch while brody just grunted in an effort to be mean looking, which failed pretty badly (very rough example I know). Just naming off other famously known titles followed by a vague dismissive comment in regards to the subject, takes away the impact you may have intended. Without the elaboration, it seems you're judging it on reasons of nostalgia and taking jabs at for not being like the golden oldies.

Finally, my own personal reflection on this review... I liked it (predators) far more then that tripe, Expendashambles. That film failed so hard to appease my inner 90's action hero admiring child, even with the incredible cast list. At least in predators, they chose actors who resonates in a similar way to me as Arnie did in Predator and Glover did in Predator 2, and its plot progression felt similar too. My only real gripe with the film was that they created characters I was interested in and killed them off faster then the ones I wasn't interested in. I mean, that woman

Spoiler

... seriously, she survived cause she had tits and thats all.

 

[The .50 Caliber Cow]

I loved this film so I'd rather not reply with angry fanboyisms.

Instead I'll just leave it at this:

MOO!

>:|

 

[ILUV2YIF]

I found your analysis most intriguing. It sounds like it is well worth the time to enjoy, might have to look at getting me this piece of media as soon as possible.