Saying the 'L' Word To Your Other Half for the First Time

[The Lugz]

had two girls tell me they love me, i said it right back pretty-much immediately in both cases and meant it but neither of those relationships worked out, go figure
my current girlfriend said it and i replied in kind as i do and we've been happy since, so i guess it's probably not the biggest cornerstone in a relationship
and other factors are more important

 

[Kraj]

Words don't "mean" much for me.
Actions however, and their intentions behind them mean worlds.
Every girl I've dated has dropped the word.
Only a few have acted on it properly.


...
My current girlfriend? Yes. I love her. Though I do say it out of habit, the actions behind it display the true meaning.
tl/dr walk the walk, talking the talk is grizzle on the steak.

 

[Dapsen]

Love is a very powerful feeling. I think the words hold a lot of meaning. And I think saying it to your "other half" is a big deal, especially at my age (15), where every other stupid teenager sees a pretty girl, thinks shes cute, remembers that thing mom and dad talked about called love, and instantly thinks he loves her.
For the story on how me and my other half exchanged the admittance for the first time, she had been to band-practice with me and the guys (some time back in February), and I was walking her up her driveway, when she turned around to say goodnight. I kissed her goodbye, and with bubbles in my stomach I said: "Martine? (Mar-tee-nuh) I love you.", she replied with a smile and an extra kiss, and went inside, and I was left starstruck.

 

[Julianking93]

Definitely.
Saying "I love you" should be just that; love. Pure love, that is not the weird typical teen style of infatuation they like to label as love, but real love.
It really should be saved for that, though. Too many people now seem to throw it around like they do the word "hate."
Still, it is very meaningful, at least to me and I've only ever said it when I truly meant it.
Though that feeling of waiting for them to say it back... it's excruciating. Gut wrenching pain welling up from the pits of your stomach to your heart and throat.
But then they say it and the pain of anticipation and worry you once felt is soon replaced by a feeling of ease, peace, happiness and in some cases complete giddiness like something wonderful washing over you and everything just feels... right. <3

At least that's how it is/was for me. Then again, I'm the emotional/pussy type

 

[kypsilon]

I never could say it unless I really truly meant it. Otherwise it just felt wrong. Probably not the standard view though. If someone you're dating gets to that place where they can use it first, I personally don't feel under the gun to say it back until I'm ready or it means something.

The hard part is trying not to have the other party upset because you don't feel as strongly as they do. Ahhh, c'est L'Amour.

 

[Lust]

I believe it does, if you mean it. Just remember that the other person might, or might not, feel the same way.

Back when I entered high school, I had the problem of letting my dick think for me. I had said I love you to my first girlfriend. It was more like I was just caught up in the heat of the moment. You know, hormones and all that stuff.

She ended up dumping me over a text message. Turns out, all we had in common was sucking the face off each other. XD

Gotta watch it when you throw around the "L" word.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Oh that "L" word, when I read the title I was like "'L' word? What 'L' word?"

Anyway I consider that word sacred, and I never EVER say it unless I mean it.

 

[Metaldeth]

Talk is cheap.

 

[StormShaun]

....Lesbian?
(No, the other L word.)
...Lesbians?

This guy should'a put the actual word in the title or stuff like this will happen, but I have to amit I give you points for putting a damn good joke in there.

OT: Love, *sigh* I have rarely had a chance to say that o anyone thats out side of the family (They are called the Lucchese crime family...okay im kidding), but im hoping that I will say it to someone someday and hopefully it will be the "One", and no it is not Neo!

 

[SckizoBoy]

So Escapists, do you think saying it to your other half is a big deal? Do you even think that the word holds much meaning? What happened when you/your other half said it for the first time? Discuss.

To answer in order, yes, it is a big deal as I'll be able to change my demeanour to what my heart is (as opposed to my head), because for me, regardless of how well I know people (significant others included), I tend to walk on eggshells around them. So, when she tells me that she loves me (if it ever happens again...) then that allows me to display my frailty (and she better mean it, though I've been lucky, thus far).

And it's not really the word, but what it conveys, therefore, it's all in how it's said, as opposed to what exactly is said. *shrug* I'm sure I could put it more eloquently, but never mind.

Anyway, it's been said to me by other halves twice. I said it back to them, though at different times. The first one was when I was 15 shortly before Christmas. She was surprised about it and we continued as normal and she said it back a few days later. What followed was probably the only time in my life I could call myself 'happy'... the shit hit the fan two months later.

The second time was what led to us going out, or at least 'officially'. We liked each other, and when I said it, she started crying. The sad thing is, I expected it...

 

[gazumped]

Someone said if you overuse it it loses meaning, but... my boyfriend rarely says it and that makes me nervous. I'm one of those crazy females that must be reassured always, otherwise I'll assume he's decided that I'm unattractive and uninteresting since the last time he said I was sexy or awesome. And that since the last time he said he loves me he's fallen out of love.
It would be okay if he showed it in other ways but he's generally not the most romantic or affectionate person. >_>

 

[lovest harding]

Depends solely on how much the individuals in the relationship care about semantics.
Personally, just saying something like "You look nice today." is as good as saying "I love you." Because in the end, they mean very similar things: I appreciate you and would like to express that I appreciate you by paying you a compliment or saying that I appreciate you directly.

I think saying "I love you." can be something very dramatic and meaningful, but it doesn't have to be. I also don't think it signifies much in a relationship. I think titles are more significant in labeling a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, lover, friend, acquaintance, they all mean more to me in a relationship than saying "I love you.") as they give a very true sense as to how the people in the relationship understand the relationship.
I mean to say, that if someone refers to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them.

Now, to me this makes sense, but it seems to stand for outside terms. Outside of the relationship, titles give others information, but I believe that in the relationship, the word love holds a deeper meaning between the two. The way I was raised, I believe love is unconditional, and I recently lost my old girlfriend when I couldn't say it back. Also, I have never heard of anyone refer to someone they wish to go out with refer to someone as a "Future Boy/Girlfriend" and the word friend would be the only non-awkward way to refer to them in their company.

As I said, that is how I view the words according to relationships and as I also said, "I love you." can and does mean something more powerful than I give it, but that's just semantics to me.

I will also add that the titles signify what a relationship is not what I want out of a relationship. I may want someone to love me and consider me their boyfriend, but when they refer to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them at that moment.

 

[spike42095]

Depends solely on how much the individuals in the relationship care about semantics.
Personally, just saying something like "You look nice today." is as good as saying "I love you." Because in the end, they mean very similar things: I appreciate you and would like to express that I appreciate you by paying you a compliment or saying that I appreciate you directly.

I think saying "I love you." can be something very dramatic and meaningful, but it doesn't have to be. I also don't think it signifies much in a relationship. I think titles are more significant in labeling a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, lover, friend, acquaintance, they all mean more to me in a relationship than saying "I love you.") as they give a very true sense as to how the people in the relationship understand the relationship.
I mean to say, that if someone refers to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them.

Now, to me this makes sense, but it seems to stand for outside terms. Outside of the relationship, titles give others information, but I believe that in the relationship, the word love holds a deeper meaning between the two. The way I was raised, I believe love is unconditional, and I recently lost my old girlfriend when I couldn't say it back. Also, I have never heard of anyone refer to someone they wish to go out with refer to someone as a "Future Boy/Girlfriend" and the word friend would be the only non-awkward way to refer to them in their company.

As I said, that is how I view the words according to relationships and as I also said, "I love you." can and does mean something more powerful than I give it, but that's just semantics to me.

I will also add that the titles signify what a relationship is not what I want out of a relationship. I may want someone to love me and consider me their boyfriend, but when they refer to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them at that moment.

Ok, quote box getting big here. Now I understand a little bit more of what you meant, adding the words at that moment at the end clears a good bit up. I had assumed *my apologies* that it meant that if someone referred to you as a friend, you would always consider them that. While an obviously wrong assumption, the chosen words seemed to convey that. Once again, my apologies.

 

[Kaez]

It was a big deal for me the first time, I was in high school and it was senior year. We were dating for a couple months by this point (I'm a nerd so she was my first gf). My school was doing a fundraiser where we could buy a rose and put a short message on it and it would be delivered to their locker. I had mine say I Love You.

When she got it I was with her at the time, and after reading the note she looked at me and said "I Love You too" and gave me a hug and kiss before we rushed off to our respective classes.

Almost 6 years later, as of August 15th, we are still together and engaged. I still love her, even more than back then.

Oh and she still has the rose pressed in one of her books.

Can you time travel?

No... I think misinterpreted what I said. As of this August 15th, it will have been 6 years together.

 

[ShadowDude112]

It was a big deal for me the first time, I was in high school and it was senior year. We were dating for a couple months by this point (I'm a nerd so she was my first gf). My school was doing a fundraiser where we could buy a rose and put a short message on it and it would be delivered to their locker. I had mine say I Love You.

When she got it I was with her at the time, and after reading the note she looked at me and said "I Love You too" and gave me a hug and kiss before we rushed off to our respective classes.

Almost 6 years later, as of August 15th, we are still together and engaged. I still love her, even more than back then.

Oh and she still has the rose pressed in one of her books.

Can you time travel?

No... I think misinterpreted what I said. As of this August 15th, it will have been 6 years together.

I guess I though when you said "as of" you were referring to the date of now. Ex: "As of right now, I am ruler of the world!" I though you mistook July with August. Sorry about that.

 

[IkeGreil29]

Man, people around me in relationships said it so much I'm questioning whether it actually even MEANS anything... truth be told, I am a high schooler so... it's a bit different once you're past 25 or around that age, huh?

 

[lovest harding]

Depends solely on how much the individuals in the relationship care about semantics.
Personally, just saying something like "You look nice today." is as good as saying "I love you." Because in the end, they mean very similar things: I appreciate you and would like to express that I appreciate you by paying you a compliment or saying that I appreciate you directly.

I think saying "I love you." can be something very dramatic and meaningful, but it doesn't have to be. I also don't think it signifies much in a relationship. I think titles are more significant in labeling a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, lover, friend, acquaintance, they all mean more to me in a relationship than saying "I love you.") as they give a very true sense as to how the people in the relationship understand the relationship.
I mean to say, that if someone refers to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them.

Now, to me this makes sense, but it seems to stand for outside terms. Outside of the relationship, titles give others information, but I believe that in the relationship, the word love holds a deeper meaning between the two. The way I was raised, I believe love is unconditional, and I recently lost my old girlfriend when I couldn't say it back. Also, I have never heard of anyone refer to someone they wish to go out with refer to someone as a "Future Boy/Girlfriend" and the word friend would be the only non-awkward way to refer to them in their company.

As I said, that is how I view the words according to relationships and as I also said, "I love you." can and does mean something more powerful than I give it, but that's just semantics to me.

I will also add that the titles signify what a relationship is not what I want out of a relationship. I may want someone to love me and consider me their boyfriend, but when they refer to me as a friend, I know where I stand with them at that moment.

Ok, quote box getting big here. Now I understand a little bit more of what you meant, adding the words at that moment at the end clears a good bit up. I had assumed *my apologies* that it meant that if someone referred to you as a friend, you would always consider them that. While an obviously wrong assumption, the chosen words seemed to convey that. Once again, my apologies.

I can see where it would sound like that. Sorry for not being clear originally. xD

 

[Dark Knifer]

I said I love you for the first time to my girlfriend within a month of us starting. That's when I really felt love. She couldn't say it then but she really gave it thought and the first time she said it she was certain. It's a fairly big deal the first time and all the times after is still a big deal, it just becomes a lot more common.