Science and maths jokes anyone?
- Thread starter BlackJackFrak
- Start date
The joke is, if each mathematician orders half what the prevsious ordered and there are infinite mathmaticians, the TOTAL number of drinks will approach 2 as the set approaches infinity. It's a joke about limits really.Sebass said:I assume the joke is they each order half of what the previous one ordered. Don't get the 'idiots' part though ..Woodsey said:
Edit: I HATE the tradition on this forum of posting those delicious delicious cookie pics .. They make me so damn hungry
Yeah, because Girls require Time AND Money, and * usually stands in for AND, + stands in for OR, at least when it comes to math, or logic...mmmm, logic circuits.tmujir955 said:
What is the smallest refreshment?......
Also a logical proof of batman, Batman is the greatest possible human/superhero. It is greater to exist in reality than in imagination, therefore batman must be real. QED
If: 2=A
and 4=B
and 6=c
then?...
Lepton Ice Tea.
Also a logical proof of batman, Batman is the greatest possible human/superhero. It is greater to exist in reality than in imagination, therefore batman must be real. QED
If: 2=A
and 4=B
and 6=c
then?...
8=D, or 8=====D if u dont get it
So, here's my really long math joke.
There were 3 kingdoms. They had all been fighting over a piece of land that they were all claiming. So, one day they decide that all the fighting is just a waste of time and resources, so they're just going to have one giant battle and whoever is left standing take it. So the first kingdom sends their giant army, with lots of knights and battering rams and siege equipment. The second kingdom also sends their army. They also have lots of knights, but not quite as many as the first. The last kingdom is very poor. They send their lone knight and squire to represent them. When they arrive at the piece of land, they decide that they're going to have a giant feast that night and fight the next morning. So they make a giant feast, and all the knights attend. Meanwhile, the squires have their own miniature feast. The lone squire, however, puts his dinner in a pot, ties a noose with some rope, and hangs it over a fire to cook. The next morning, all of the knights have massive hangovers, and none of them really want to fight. Instead, they decide to send all of the squires in, and whoever is the last man standing, wins. So all the squires start to fight. When the dust finally clears, who should be standing but the lone squire?
And the moral of the story is: The squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the squires of the other two sides.
A groaner, I know.
(If you didn't get it, it's the Pythagorean Theorem.)
There were 3 kingdoms. They had all been fighting over a piece of land that they were all claiming. So, one day they decide that all the fighting is just a waste of time and resources, so they're just going to have one giant battle and whoever is left standing take it. So the first kingdom sends their giant army, with lots of knights and battering rams and siege equipment. The second kingdom also sends their army. They also have lots of knights, but not quite as many as the first. The last kingdom is very poor. They send their lone knight and squire to represent them. When they arrive at the piece of land, they decide that they're going to have a giant feast that night and fight the next morning. So they make a giant feast, and all the knights attend. Meanwhile, the squires have their own miniature feast. The lone squire, however, puts his dinner in a pot, ties a noose with some rope, and hangs it over a fire to cook. The next morning, all of the knights have massive hangovers, and none of them really want to fight. Instead, they decide to send all of the squires in, and whoever is the last man standing, wins. So all the squires start to fight. When the dust finally clears, who should be standing but the lone squire?
And the moral of the story is: The squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the squires of the other two sides.
A groaner, I know.
(If you didn't get it, it's the Pythagorean Theorem.)
I hope Engineering counts:
The Commandments of the EE:
(1) Beware of lightning that lurketh in an uncharged condenser lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most embarrassing manner.
(2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days may be long in this earthly vale of tears.
(3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth, and upon which the worketh, are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like a radiator too.
(4) Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely unbelievers.
(5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measures of high-voltage circuits too, that thou dost not incinerate both thee and thy test meter, for verily, though thou has no company property number and can be easily surveyed, the test meter has one and, as a consequence, bringeth much woe unto a purchasing agent.
(6) Take care that thou tamperest not with interlocks and safety devices, for this incurreth the wrath of the chief electrician and bring the fury of the engineers on his head.
(7) Work thou not on energized equipment for if thou doest so, thy friends will surely be buying beers for thy widow and consoling her in certain ways not generally acceptable to thee.
(8) Verily, verily I say unto thee, never service equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slow process and thou might sizzle in thy own fat upon a hot circuit for hours on end before thy maker sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
(9) Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug, and thy wife be frustrated and have not further use for thee except for thy wages.
(10) Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are written down in thy Bible which is the National Electrical Code, and giveth out with the straight dope and consoleth thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by the chief electrician.
(11) When thou muckest about with a device in an unthinking and/or unknowing manner, thou shalt keep one hand in thy pocket. Better that thou shouldest keep both hands in thy pockets than experimentally determine the electrical potential of an innocent-seeming device.
The Commandments of the EE:
(1) Beware of lightning that lurketh in an uncharged condenser lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most embarrassing manner.
(2) Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days may be long in this earthly vale of tears.
(3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth, and upon which the worketh, are grounded and thusly tagged lest they lift thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like a radiator too.
(4) Tarry thou not amongst these fools that engage in intentional shocks for they are not long for this world and are surely unbelievers.
(5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measures of high-voltage circuits too, that thou dost not incinerate both thee and thy test meter, for verily, though thou has no company property number and can be easily surveyed, the test meter has one and, as a consequence, bringeth much woe unto a purchasing agent.
(6) Take care that thou tamperest not with interlocks and safety devices, for this incurreth the wrath of the chief electrician and bring the fury of the engineers on his head.
(7) Work thou not on energized equipment for if thou doest so, thy friends will surely be buying beers for thy widow and consoling her in certain ways not generally acceptable to thee.
(8) Verily, verily I say unto thee, never service equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slow process and thou might sizzle in thy own fat upon a hot circuit for hours on end before thy maker sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
(9) Trifle thee not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug, and thy wife be frustrated and have not further use for thee except for thy wages.
(10) Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are written down in thy Bible which is the National Electrical Code, and giveth out with the straight dope and consoleth thee when thou hast suffered a ream job by the chief electrician.
(11) When thou muckest about with a device in an unthinking and/or unknowing manner, thou shalt keep one hand in thy pocket. Better that thou shouldest keep both hands in thy pockets than experimentally determine the electrical potential of an innocent-seeming device.
Don't remind me of what my old biology teacher used to do, bugger that.
Example.
''What is a group of cells called?''
- A tissue.
''Bless you.'' [then shes tarts roaring with laughter while we think we'd rather prefer to keep our attention to our work for once, suddenly.]
Example.
''What is a group of cells called?''
- A tissue.
''Bless you.'' [then shes tarts roaring with laughter while we think we'd rather prefer to keep our attention to our work for once, suddenly.]
There's a Biologist and a Physicist
They both go into their labs
The Biologist finds that something previously thought simple in her field is vastly more complex than they realised
"Oh Good!" she says, and goes to write a paper on it
The Physicist finds that something previously thought simple in her field is vastly more complex than they realised
"Oh Damn" she says, "How do I fix that?"
That one might not be funny to those who aren't "in"
Here's a brilliant one
My dad's an Engineer, so I love this stuff
They both go into their labs
The Biologist finds that something previously thought simple in her field is vastly more complex than they realised
"Oh Good!" she says, and goes to write a paper on it
The Physicist finds that something previously thought simple in her field is vastly more complex than they realised
"Oh Damn" she says, "How do I fix that?"
That one might not be funny to those who aren't "in"
Here's a brilliant one
My dad's an Engineer, so I love this stuff
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, it was simply more likely to be crossing than not be crossing.
It didn't, it was simply more likely to be crossing than not be crossing.