Science Unlocks Big Head Mode For Ants

[imnot]

Dammit science why do you do these things!

 

[manic_depressive13]

Oh, are those things just weirdly engorged ants? I'd seen them in the school playground when I was just a little kid and they freaked the fucking shit out of me. They're practically impossible to squash and if you remove the head it keeps moving. Not that I was the one to remove the head, I just found it like that. Anyway, I never dreamed it was just a natural variation of soldier ant. This is a massive revalation for me. Like a ghost from my past has been laid to rest.

[sub][sub][sub]If you can't tell I am indeed hugely exaggerating the effect this has had on my life[/sub][/sub][/sub]

Edit: Oh yeah, and since I have no dignity I thought I'd add: I'm quite amused by the antics in this thread.

 

[ReinWeisserRitter]

Because if we've learned anything from the whole Africanized Bees fiasco, it's that fucking around with these sorts of things is an awesome idea.

 

[Baresark]

I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. ....... GOD DAMN IT.

personally messing around with ANT DNA is going to be bad. i predict DOOOOOOOOMMMMM DOOOOOMMM!!!!

Haha, well said. But, as an aside, this isn't genetic engineering. As a matter of fact, you can put this as one check mark into the epigenetics column, where it's a phenotypical trait controlled by the environment.

I wouldn't call this epigenetics either; I'd reserve that term for things like DNA/histon methylation and acetylation and the like. This is just adding more of a hormone.

Got ya, I see, I misread. When I read I thought it was more of a pheromone reaction than hormonal. Good catch.

 

[GamemasterAnthony]

So...I have to ask, and I'm sure there are more than just a few asking this as well...

When will genetic engineering start producing some Pokémon for real?

Seriously, even though this occurs in real life it looks like the kind of mutation of a common animal that pretty much most Pokémon are.

 

[EightGaugeHippo]

One step closer to human slavery under insect rule
BILL FORTOLD OF THIS EVENT!!


OH GOD WHY?

 

[KefkaCultist]

Has Grayditch taught us nothing? They'll be breathing fire before long.

This is exactly what I thought of when reading this story and it took the Escapist a whole 18 posts to reference it... For shame Escapist, for shame...

 

[KingHodor]

Surprising. I wasn't aware that animals could form societies where they recognize and care for their own that have genetic abnormalities, as well as using them for the betterment of their colony. I thought that they operated on the Darwinism, "You screwed up somewhere, so you die." type of system.

If you think about it, the ants' entire caste system is based on the fact that societies with a certain percentage of useful genetic aberrations work better than others. Soldier ants may suck at foraging, but they're good at fighting; queens are "only" good for sitting on their enlarged abdomens and pooping out eggs, which means the whole colony lives and dies with them; the only purpose in a male's life lies in that one ejaculation into a future queen.
And those are just the basic ones - some known ant species [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eciton_burchellii] have multiple worker castes as well as completely badass übersoldaten with razor-sharp hook-like jaws, while others have workers that use their abdomens as living honeypots [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honeypot_ant].

Really, that's often how evolution works: Not on an individual, but on a societal/genetic level. It would be inefficient for the ants to have to run their own eugenics program and identify/cull the "defective" ones - since there is only a single individual responsible for the procreation of the hive (and thus one genetic template), it is only appropriate that evolution weeds out that information with the entire hive.

 

[omicron1]

These aren't your father's ants.
These are great ants.
Which, I suppose, does make them your father's ants...

Confused?

Spoiler

Ant->aunt

Except I'm English, so aunt = 'arnt'.

That just arn't right.

 

[llew]

Further proof that any zombie apocalypse in the future will be caused by scientists doing shit they shouldn't.

already prepeared for that scenario (thank you left for dead 2... you have taught me well) in the case of an ant uprising all we need is some good ol' petroleum and a lighter or a box of matches and we'll be safe until we run dry in which case im sure we can find a rood to throw ourselves off

 

[The Funslinger]

Well Grey seems to have amassed quite a comandilbe class of pupals to his school of humor, but all these puns are just starting to bug me.

Looks like we're making you...

*puts on sunglasses*

... antsy.

You guys got nothing on Ant and Dec. [small]And they weren't very funny to begin with...[/small]

In all seriousness, in the words of Philip J. Fry, "is this going to be one of those experiments that crosses a line man was not meant to cross?"

 

[Baldry]

Well this is just great, why not let them breath fire while your messing with the balance of nature!

 

[masher]

One step forward toward realizing those cheesy Ants-Take-Over-The-World horror movies. Good job science.

 

[Ren3004]

OH JESUS CHRIST, KILL IT! KILL IT UNTIL ITS DEAD! Seriously that's bloody terrifying.

KILL IT WITH FIRE!

But seriously, I never thought of ants like that, and this is very interesting from a scientific standpoint. I think that what we should all take away from this discovery is OH MY GOD, KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

[sub]P.S.: I really hate ants.[/sub]

 

[Switchblade 327]

Ah yes, I saw this on the Scientific American site the other day.

lmao

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

That's it. We're doomed. Nice knowing you Escapist.

Actually no, wait. Couldn't we simply use bigger insecticides?

 

[Thyunda]

These aren't your father's ants.
These are great ants.
Which, I suppose, does make them your father's ants...

Confused?

Spoiler

Ant->aunt

Except I'm English, so aunt = 'arnt'.

That just arn't right.

That was just bad grammar.

 

[theultimateend]

everytime i see this ant i hear this sound in the back of my head.

hmm... strange.

I'm more thinking what quagmire would inject that "head gigantify" chemical into.

Methinks it would not be his cranium.