Scientists Uncover Common Ancestor of All Mammals

[Thunderous Cacophony]

Go science!

Now, where's the Creationist meatbag to decry this as an attack on his religion?

They were nowhere to be found, but now you've started a fight, and soon their hordes will descend upon us. Take what time you have to make peace with God, for your hubris has ensured we all will be seeing Him soon.

OT: I love the massive databases we're building to figure this stuff out, and that MorphoBank is publicly accessible. Let us fill the internet with knowledge (at least those parts not already full of porn and cats).

 

[soren7550]

So, we're related to shrews? Eh, not the weirdest thing I've hear we're related to. That goes to turnips (which, according to the person I heard this from, we're something like one genetic line away from being turnips or some kind of science mumbo jumbo like that).

 

[texanarob]

Go science!

Now, where's the Creationist meatbag to decry this as an attack on his religion?

Hi. Not going to claim it's an attack, because nobody has claimed this means anything. They have merely found common features of many mammals, put them all together and guessed what an 'evolutionary ancestor' may look like.

If anyone wants a flame war, I'm not going to oblige. If you want a genuine debate, private messages are the way to go.

 

[Frontastic]

That doesn't look at all like a 10 foot tall, albino brick-shithouse... Ridley Scott lied to us!

 

[Roander]

It almost looks like a stoat, and that makes me happy.

 

[Xdeser2]

So... what should we call it?

Linoone

So we're all related to Linoones. This makes some sense I think.

HAH! Love it.

I HATE things like this. They really have no effening clue, but at the very least, this probably gives us an idea of what we descended from. About what I expected, honestly.

"They have no clue"

So...whose the one with a degree and years of experience, funding, and research here?

 

[The Lugz]

daw. i want my tail back

i like the marsupial squirrel rat though.

i guess the gangsters had it right, 'you dirty rat!'
it was surprisingly close to the mark!
is this the kind of alien we should be looking for on other planets? do they all evolve into humans?
so many questions... damn it genetics why cant you have simple rules.

 

[lacktheknack]

Go science!

Now, where's the Creationist meatbag to decry this as an attack on his religion?

He was a troll, <link=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.400164-Review-analyzation-of-a-thread>freely admitting that he was one in the User Reviews section. He's suspended now.

 

[TehChuckles]

So... what should we call it?

Linoone

So we're all related to Linoones. This makes some sense I think.

And we all know what they evolved from! I am now a proud descendant of the Zigzagoon! This has to be the best discovery in evolution since the discovery of the Chicken evolving (or Devolving whichever way you want to see it) from the T-Rex! man I love science.

 

[Denamic]

Well, we do medical testing on rats due to similar... Something. DNA? Anatomy? Someone correct my stupid brain.

Soooo, with that in mind, I guess it's not all that surprising.

Because they're mammals, like humans, so results in them are comparable to what could happen in humans. Not in all cases obviously, but in a lot.

They're also small, easily breedable with large litter sizes, not very high maintenance and low on the cuddling-factor.

I strongly disagree.
Rats can be incredibly cuddly, as they're highly social animals and will take to liking physical contact with humans if brought up right. A hamster may let you pet it without escaping. A rat will actively want you to do so, and crawl up your clothes if you don't. Rats are awesome.

 

[FalloutJack]

Well that little guy just looks plain awesome. Good to know we all evolved from cute little rat dudes.

Ahem...

So... what should we call it?

I'm partial to Norman, myself.

Speaking seriously, though, this is very interesting. So, scientists, tell me something... You have just discovered the basis for all mammallian life on this planet. Can you now use that research as a common base towards the curing and prevention of deadly diseases? The universal benchmark as it were?

 

[Atrocious Joystick]

Well shit. Black, white, penguin, polar bear, elephant, whale. We all used to be insect munching rat dudes hiding from flesh eating monster birds. Hakuna matata.

Guess we won in the end though, mothafuckin' space-rocks equalized the playing field and now we eat the birds. Like the damn dirty apes we are.

Penguin are bird, their common ancestor with other birds would be a bipedal dinosaur, not a rat like creature.

Noooo! Damn my foolishness! Curse my arrogance and lack of proofreading. You sir have shamed me. I shall now commit seppuku. I implore you, do not tell my children of this. Tell them I died with honor.

 

[JEBWrench]

I'm partial to Norman, myself.

I second the Norman motion.

On a more serious note of my own, does anyone else not think "MorphoBank" sounds totally like something a crazed movie villain would scheme up to enslave the human race?

 

[FalloutJack]

I'm partial to Norman, myself.

I second the Norman motion.

On a more serious note of my own, does anyone else not think "MorphoBank" sounds totally like something a crazed movie villain would scheme up to enslave the human race?

Doctor Who technology, I'm thinking. Something held by a species that has learned how to transmute into other forms via some sort of process that even alters biology to appear as the chosen species. (See Rutans and Zygons for that one.)

 

[Formica Archonis]

Scientists Uncover Common Ancestor of All Mammals

most common ancestor with other placental mammals

(Same deal over at NYT.)

The koala and echidna lobbies wish to have words with the headline writers' union.

 

[evilneko]

In b4 Creat--

Oh wait.

Now, someone needs to find an awesome pic of AronRa, and caption it with TAXONOMY - It works, bitches.

 

[boonryan]

If anyone finds this remotely interesting - apparently all of you - read a book called The Ancestor's Tale by Dawkins. It's a wonderful account of our evolution.

 

[1337mokro]

Well, we do medical testing on rats due to similar... Something. DNA? Anatomy? Someone correct my stupid brain.

Soooo, with that in mind, I guess it's not all that surprising.

Both correct, your mind was less stupid than it made you believe. Or maybe that was it's plan all along so you wouldn't suspect your brain of anything.

Anyway Linoone seems to be a good start for mammal life. Though I think it's more of a good appropriation.

Speaking seriously, though, this is very interesting. So, scientists, tell me something... You have just discovered the basis for all mammallian life on this planet. Can you now use that research as a common base towards the curing and prevention of deadly diseases? The universal benchmark as it were?

The universal benchmark for science is curing people?

I think you don't have it quite right. You see these are people doing research in fields that don't produce cures. Just like about 80% of all known fields of science, unless you consider stupidity a disease for which science is the cure 99.99% of the times.

 

[Olas]

I think I ran over one of those the other day.