Sell a fellow Escapist!

[EeveeElectro]

Okay, so we play this game sometimes in drama and I thought it could be quite fun to play here.
Pick a fellow Escapist member, anyone you like and try to sell them, like a TV commercial.
Don't forget to include the price, where to purchase and you can even throw in a slogan! Or a logo if you have good photoshop skills and a bit of spare time.

Example:

Random Escapist Member Bob (not an actual member)

After a long, hard days work, you often want to return home and listen to the smooth, velvety ductile tone of a man. Well, look no further! Bob will tick all the right boxes, along with his long flowing blond hair, manly masculinity, you'll be in cloud nine all the time! All yours from £2.99 at your local Tesco today and tomorrow. But not yesterday.

And remember. If you need a sob. Just ring Bob!

(Yeah I'm not too good at the game, but it's all good fun).

 

[XJ-0461]

The all new EileeElectro! Her delusions of being various David Bowie personalities will keep you entertained for hours! Simply say which one you want and she will offer you that personality's views on the world! All this, plus more, for only £19.99!

Available at all good retailers. Level of actual delusions vary from unit to unit.

/forced enthusiasm.

 

[EeveeElectro]

Awww, awesome dude

 

[goatzilla8463]

Come and get your Evil Jak! He's sure to annoy you with his usual level of being right all the time. He's a great way to take your frustrations out as you beat him up for being right. Also, if he calls you gay, lamp him a couple of times around the head with a 2x4. It's funilicious!

Available ONLY at Goat's shop of mediocrity.

Love you really, Kinguendo/Evil Jak.

 

[Kinguendo]

Come and get your Evil Jak! He's sure to annoy you with his usual level of being right all the time. He's a great way to take your frustrations out as you beat him p for being right. Also, if he calls you gay, lamp him a couple of times around the head with a 2x4. It's funilicious!

Available ONLY at Goat's shop of mediocrity.

Love you really, Kinguendo/Evil Jak.

Its spelt "up"!

 

[Insanum]

New & Improved Neonbob!

Buy now & get more Nukes for your bucks, But wait...THERES MORE!

In this one time only offer Buy Standard Neonbob & get the autoclean function, Meaning you no longer have to clean those troublesome whale stains!

You have to take up this one time only offer...WHILST STOCKS LAST!

 

[goatzilla8463]

Come and get your Evil Jak! He's sure to annoy you with his usual level of being right all the time. He's a great way to take your frustrations out as you beat him p for being right. Also, if he calls you gay, lamp him a couple of times around the head with a 2x4. It's funilicious!

Available ONLY at Goat's shop of mediocrity.

Love you really, Kinguendo/Evil Jak.

Its spelt "up"!

Oh hush you. Now retaliate like a real man.

 

[Kinguendo]

Come and get your Evil Jak! He's sure to annoy you with his usual level of being right all the time. He's a great way to take your frustrations out as you beat him p for being right. Also, if he calls you gay, lamp him a couple of times around the head with a 2x4. It's funilicious!

Available ONLY at Goat's shop of mediocrity.

Love you really, Kinguendo/Evil Jak.

Its spelt "up"!

Oh hush you. Now retaliate like a real man.

Really? You just got thoroughly owned... I dont think I have to say anymore.

 

[sky14kemea]

Tired of listening to the same old music everyday? Think a bit of music and insanity would liven up that dull bus journey to work? Then buy the new Insanum NOW!
It comes with its own super-cool Sunglasses and a Banjo! A BANJO! Think of the endless possibilities when you buy your own Insanum today!
Only $49.99!!!!
[small]Warning may actually be insane, the Insanum is bought at users own risk and the banjo does not include batteries, Terms & Conditions apply.[/small]

BUY IT NOOOW!

 

[Insanum]

Tired of listening to the same old music everyday? Think a bit of music and insanity would liven up that dull bus journey to work? Then buy the new Insanum NOW!
It comes with its own super-cool Sunglasses and a Banjo! A BANJO! Think of the endless possibilities when you buy your own Insanum today!
Only $49.99!!!!
[small]Warning may actually be insane, the Insanum is bought at users own risk and the banjo does not include batteries, Terms & Conditions apply.[/small]

BUY IT NOOOW!

No Sky, Its not a banjo, Close but no Pajamas.

 

[slipknot4]

You do not feel it, nor see it or hear it. But it's there. I am there. IAMQ that is.
Iamq is the ultimate relaxation product that will stimulate all of your senses with his witty comments and sarcastic outrages. He comes in two colours white and pink and will do anything for a coke.
Buy him today and you will get a limited edition Max the Reaper: That one that won't ever stop doing whatever it does best.

Only 19.99£
If your Iamq is giving you a headache or a brain bleeding please contact local authorities and a hospital near you

And he has a shiny mullet....

 

[sky14kemea]

Tired of listening to the same old music everyday? Think a bit of music and insanity would liven up that dull bus journey to work? Then buy the new Insanum NOW!
It comes with its own super-cool Sunglasses and a Banjo! A BANJO! Think of the endless possibilities when you buy your own Insanum today!
Only $49.99!!!!
[small]Warning may actually be insane, the Insanum is bought at users own risk and the banjo does not include batteries, Terms & Conditions apply.[/small]

BUY IT NOOOW!

No Sky, Its not a banjo, Close but no Pajamas.

ITS A BANJO NOOOOOW!
[small]TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY![/small]

 

[Sparrow]

Work getting you down? The RP Recession not going anywhere fast? What you need is a big fat serving of Portal Maniac! Chocked full of your daily Vitamin-Awesome, Portal Maniac will both lead awesome and innoviative RP's at your leisure and spam Forum Games with long, innoviate posts! And, as a limited edition offer, buy one Portal Maniac today and get a free Neonbob absolutely FREE!

[small]Any probations, suspensions or bannings due to Forum Game "spamming" is not warranted under rules of purchase. Please contact a moderator if the problem persists.[/small]

Buy NOW or regret it!

 

[Insanum]

Tired of listening to the same old music everyday? Think a bit of music and insanity would liven up that dull bus journey to work? Then buy the new Insanum NOW!
It comes with its own super-cool Sunglasses and a Banjo! A BANJO! Think of the endless possibilities when you buy your own Insanum today!
Only $49.99!!!!
[small]Warning may actually be insane, the Insanum is bought at users own risk and the banjo does not include batteries, Terms & Conditions apply.[/small]

BUY IT NOOOW!

No Sky, Its not a banjo, Close but no Pajamas.

ITS A BANJO NOOOOOW!
[small]TERMS AND CONDITIONS APPLY![/small]

The T&C's are that Banjo's arent availible & its a guitar[/B].

 

[Dorian]

-Le Frenchy snip-

Actually, the 'spamming,' as you put it, has essentially stopped. The user groups have become the new output of crazy, and I have other means to catch up with my Escapist pals.

ANYWHO.

Bored of having sanity? Want to get your perfectly good RP sidetracked and spammed with meaningless posts? Wishing you had someone to make you rip your hair out? Well GOOD NEWS! With this healthy nine year old, HAZEANDHALO can do ALL of this for $19.99 (American) AND keep his caps lock on during the entire time! Hold up right there. You're probably wanting to know why I'm letting such a prize go? Well, it turns out we're overstocked with Halo and ZP fanboys, so I'm passing the savings onto yoooooouuuuuuu!

[small]All sales are final. No returns, exchanges, or enhancements are possible once purchased.[/small]

 

[Stoic raptor]

Are you feeling down? Does life suck.
Why dont you buy a sky14kemea! Will give you all the hugs you will ever need!
Its happy and optimistic personality will brighten you day! Buy now for $104.36

[small][small]side effects may include crushed ribs and inability to concentrate[/small][/small]
Buy a sky14kemea TODAY!!!!!

 

[Insanum]

Are you feeling down? Does life suck.
Why dont you buy a sky14kemea! Will give you all the hugs you will ever need!
Its happy and optimistic personality will brighten you day! Buy now for $104.36

[small][small]side effects may include crushed ribs and inability to concentrate[/small][/small]
Buy a sky14kemea TODAY!!!!!

I'd like to take mine back, She cant tell the difference between musical instruments.

And the warning "Temporary effects may include tinnitus" needs to be added.

 

[sky14kemea]

Are you feeling down? Does life suck.
Why dont you buy a sky14kemea! Will give you all the hugs you will ever need!
Its happy and optimistic personality will brighten you day! Buy now for $104.36

[small][small]side effects may include crushed ribs and inability to concentrate[/small][/small]
Buy a sky14kemea TODAY!!!!!

aww thank you

I'd like to take mine back, She cant tell the difference between musical instruments.

And the warning "Temporary effects may include tinnitus" needs to be added.

xD that made me laugh, but its still mean! >:O

 

[Stoic raptor]

Are you feeling down? Does life suck.
Why dont you buy a sky14kemea! Will give you all the hugs you will ever need!
Its happy and optimistic personality will brighten you day! Buy now for $104.36

[small][small]side effects may include crushed ribs and inability to concentrate[/small][/small]
Buy a sky14kemea TODAY!!!!!

I'd like to take mine back, She cant tell the difference between musical instruments.

And the warning "Temporary effects may include tinnitus" needs to be added.

NO REFUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Insanum]

Are you feeling down? Does life suck.
Why dont you buy a sky14kemea! Will give you all the hugs you will ever need!
Its happy and optimistic personality will brighten you day! Buy now for $104.36

[small][small]side effects may include crushed ribs and inability to concentrate[/small][/small]
Buy a sky14kemea TODAY!!!!!

I'd like to take mine back, She cant tell the difference between musical instruments.

And the warning "Temporary effects may include tinnitus" needs to be added.

NO REFUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didnt mention a refund...