Sentences heard NEVER before

[Chefodeath]

In honor of the late, great George Carlin

Alright folks, just off the top of your head, try to come up with a sentence that has never before in human history been said. I'll start her off.

"Half-Off coupon for your next hair cut with every fifth penis amputation today!"

 

[Jackpot524]

What an odd thread... I'll bite.

"An automated cat attacked the moon with a dewey decimal system, now the sky falls up."

However, a homeless man may have beat me to this one...

 

[malestrithe]

The DVD from Mordor will go to Death Valley.

I will be travelling back in time yesterday to beat up Hitler's Widow.

 

[zarix2311]

JUST BECAUSE IT'S TRUE DOESN'T MEAN IT'S TRUE AND IF YOU THINK THAT YOUR RIGHT THEN YOU ARE! or Buy a human placenta and get a fetus free, order within the next twenty minutes and get your very own clavicle!

 

[JUMBO PALACE]

Also Carlin,

"Hey, get your mouth off of my dick or I'll call the police!"

 

[hinataxemnas]

Free to try our new Anal Salad! Your choice of human, cow, or vegetarian (nothing)

 

[Aris Khandr]

"It's a good thing I had this jar of shark urine, or we'd have been in real trouble."

 

[Klumpfot]

Be careful with that spork, I don't think her mother neutered it properly.

 

[blankedboy]

"Has anyone really been far even as decided to want to go do more look like?"
Or to be more relevant...

"What do you think the best game in web.?"

 

[Easton Dark]

"George Carlin is not funny."

 

[MisterGobbles]

"That potato salad ate breadsticks with a roll of paper towels."

 

[Darth Rahu]

"for the last time, stop giving me money, it's not doing me any good!"

Or...

"if you're going to turn blue everytime we eat then I'm leaving."

 

[emeraldrafael]

And in other news, Lebron James won an NBA final.

 

[geldonyetich]

Fancy your eggplant, Mr. Cuisinart, I've eaten five staplers for breakfast and have never been more aroused.

 

[ilspooner]

Wow, that troll is such a nice and friendly member of the community when he is flaming people and making puppies cry.

 

[crudus]

"I am tired of this orgasm"

or

"I hate cinnamon toast"

 

[Eumersian]

This is the only time in my cheese that mister Balgion Flangerschwitt is warping too bacon in when that my other.

 

[Nouw]

"Do you want to eat the boot of steel for breakfast while skateboarding Dracula across the universe while fighting off hell-zombies listening to Don't stop me now?"

And in other news, Lebron James won an NBA final.

That is a wonderful way to start up a series of news stories! Didn't make me laugh but give me inspiration for...

"Fox News Special:Video Games good for you."

 

[Jackpot524]

"for the last time, stop giving me money, it's not doing me any good!"

Or...

"if you're going to turn blue everytime we eat then I'm leaving."

!

Oddly enough, I've heard similar statements actually made. Except in the second phrase, "blue" was meant in the emotional sense as opposed to the literal.

Though, I'm certain Dr. Manhatten has heard it before.

 

[Odbarc]

"Justin Bieber is a talented musician."