Serial Killer Game 74: BETRAYAL AT THE CONSORTIA OF EVIL INTENT- Turn Six, Hero Step ( Death Post)
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[HEADING=1] There we go, a torch. And that's one dead animal. *Picks up Skippy, Destroyer of Worlds, and begins using it as a hand puppet*
Corpse:"Hey Mr. Overlord."
Overlord:"Hey corpse of Skippy, Destroyer of Worlds."
Corpse: "Isn't this a little demeaning?"
Overlord:"Corpses don't have a sense of self!!! A pox on you for ruining the show!"
*Sounds of chewing*[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]Where was I. Oh right, turns out poor Skippy didn't make it. He was a Brawler. Pot raised to $12.5 and 6 villains left. Let's see who survives the Hero round. All roles that can act you have til Feb 3th at midnight EST. I need a toothpick...[/HEADING]
Corpse:"Hey Mr. Overlord."
Overlord:"Hey corpse of Skippy, Destroyer of Worlds."
Corpse: "Isn't this a little demeaning?"
Overlord:"Corpses don't have a sense of self!!! A pox on you for ruining the show!"
*Sounds of chewing*[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]Where was I. Oh right, turns out poor Skippy didn't make it. He was a Brawler. Pot raised to $12.5 and 6 villains left. Let's see who survives the Hero round. All roles that can act you have til Feb 3th at midnight EST. I need a toothpick...[/HEADING]
We lost our pet and now there only 6 of us left and one of us is a hero.
[HEADING=1] Science save us [/HEADING]
[HEADING=1] Science save us [/HEADING]
I can't take the presser anymore! [HEADING=1]I'm the mastermind! kill me! Don't want to see anymore of my friends die[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1] Aw the torch went out. Which minion didn't change the batteries?! Oh, right the minions are all dead. And the Dino-head doctor won't science up us some electricity. I need a light. *watches someone run by on fire* Thank you, that'll do nicely. [/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]We have a dead one folks, Nobody saved and the body has until Feb 5th at Midnight EST to give their last lasting impression. Til then I'll be in my chamber til this whole thing blows over..[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1]We have a dead one folks, Nobody saved and the body has until Feb 5th at Midnight EST to give their last lasting impression. Til then I'll be in my chamber til this whole thing blows over..[/HEADING]
[HEADING=1] That's correct, Inquisitor Glokta is no more. Sounds like you're ready for... REVENGE. Revenge step activated. You have til Feb 5th at midnight EST to horrible someone. The pot is now $15 Trillion split between 5 villains.Caramel Frappe said:
The living are Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, Omega Starbucks, THat One-Night Stand Chick, Lady Arachnid, Dr. Triceratops and Aeromadox.[/HEADING]
(Neuromancer has declined a death post due to exams)
holy shit I think my science found out who the killer is! someone messaged me and told me they were the mastermind and to work together. He said he was going to save Neuromancer, the man who is dead now. I'll post the message of the conversation. Its well written so I can't be me faking it.
[HEADING=1]Aeromadox (Aerosteam) must be the killer! Take him down with science[/HEADING]
Well, that just proves that if Aeromadox is the killer he's really dumb.
So he's going to target the person he is claiming to save? That's... Odd.
Wouldn't it be more likely if he was the killer that he'd target Frappe, knowing you'll save him, then you would have two votes. Then the two of you would work together to put three votes on someone else...
More likely he was testing *you*...
Or getting you to waste a save on the Frapps.
So he's going to target the person he is claiming to save? That's... Odd.
Wouldn't it be more likely if he was the killer that he'd target Frappe, knowing you'll save him, then you would have two votes. Then the two of you would work together to put three votes on someone else...
More likely he was testing *you*...
Or getting you to waste a save on the Frapps.
6 more left.
Dr.Dinosaur: bringer of Genocide and Science.
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Prophet of the future and fucks around with old guys.
Omega Starbucks: giver of bad coffee
Aeromadox: Master of tricks
That One-Night Stand Chick: Crusher of love.
Lady Arachnid Eater of people.
On of us is a hero. who is it
Dr.Dinosaur: bringer of Genocide and Science.
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come: Prophet of the future and fucks around with old guys.
Omega Starbucks: giver of bad coffee
Aeromadox: Master of tricks
That One-Night Stand Chick: Crusher of love.
Lady Arachnid Eater of people.
On of us is a hero. who is it
I'm not sure what to think about this at this point, but I'm keeping an eye on AEROMADOXWary Wolf said:
I dunno, I'm not sure I trust your science. If only there were some kind of lab we could test it in....tf2godz said:
At this point I'm not sure there's much hope for the Villains. Just shows that good always triumphs over evil, I guess.
I'm interested to see who the Hero actually is, though. I'd very much like to see a round from Frappe or FPLOON, if the latter isn't too weird / Boku no Pico inspired.
I'm interested to see who the Hero actually is, though. I'd very much like to see a round from Frappe or FPLOON, if the latter isn't too weird / Boku no Pico inspired.
...NO! that's not my destiny to be killed by some monkeyFractral said:
[HEADING=1]I killed the dinosaurs! I caused every major disaster in human history! I helped kill every major superhero on the planet! I will not be taken down by a walking bag of 90s clich?s![/HEADING]
you hear me Bad Pouch! you will not bring me down! I will have your head on a spike!
[HEADING=1] There's... silence? That's not good. Where's the explosions. The labs are... what the hell is that coming out of the labs? Is THAT what Dr. Sperm was making? Minions kill them... oh right, no more minions. Well.. I.. guess I'll just sit here and stare at the monitors. Back ups just kicked on. Let's see... dead bodies.. a burning transport in the lobby.. oh ho.. what's this? There is some living villains left?! That's great, now to command them to fix this place and.. oh, they killed someone. Nope, just going to let that blow over. Wonder if my mini-fridge is connected to.. nope, not connected to the back-up.. damn it. I got to eat 4 gallons of ice cream now..
If you died, you got til Feb 6th at Midnight to say so. Should take me til then to finish this.. [/HEADING]
If you died, you got til Feb 6th at Midnight to say so. Should take me til then to finish this.. [/HEADING]
Long ago in a distant round, I, FPLOON, the shape-shifting perversion of keyholez made an unbreakable prediction of always doing the right thing... But, a clever Amadox user, wielding the Serial Killer's Will and Testament, step forth to announce to thee: Round 74! Before the final roles were locked, he tore open a portal in time space and drag the spirit of Bad Pouch the Hero to this new universe to kill every Villain that inhabited this Round's backstory, thus changing the executional construct of Serial Killer... all except for the lucky blackjack-numbered crew of the Consortia of Evil Intent... In the most gamble of gambles, with the infused power of the Overlord at his fingertips, and with some random dice-rolling, he contacted my universal counterpart That One-Night Stand Chick to "relay" a simple message: She was the Bad Pouch foretold within the rewritten legends and only after the Consortia is no more or after her death would the spirit of Bad Pouch be abolished and the next Round may commence with the Serial Killer's Will and Testament still intact... At first, That One-Night Stand Chick hesitated for she knew that her villainous acts of sleeping around and stealing the memories of those she slept with could not possibly make her the Hero known as Bad Pouch... And yet, with my determination of wanting to do the right thing, it became clear to her what must be done... With assistance from Armadox, That One-Night Stand Chick fused with me to shapeshift into Bad Pouch... A controller... An infiltrator... A potential mastermind... The universe's That One-Night Stand Chick was now nothing more than a clever ruse... A way to punish the remaining evil... A way to sleep with the devil in the pale bed sheets... A way to make Serial Killer great again!
#FPLOON2016
#FPLOON2016
The first villain I wanted to sleep with before killing them was actually Hermaeus Mora... Too bad that fucking fractral wasn't in the cafeteria, so I went with runner up on my Top 3 of the night Red Rocket... (Sorry, Inquisitor Glokta, but it seems I'll be saving you for last... *wink*) And, my glob, did Red Rocket make me cry like a baby in the most sexual way possible... I mean, there's packing heat and then there's just packing flat, which made it all the more glorious when that jux of a villain blow the fuck up after I circumcised his fuel reservoirs... and then shot him twice in the face just to reverse-fuck with him... *evil laugh* Now really how I wanted to spend my first kill within the Consortia of Evil Intent, but a girl's gotta improvised at times like these...
With voting results in hand and feeling so wet that any villain can slip and fall into an irreversible coma, my next targets were becoming more cleaner than my ex-boyfriend's enema exam... And this is where the paths diverge, per se...
So, I slept with the Pumpkin King next... Sure, I was kinda high on voting results and ended up smashing his head in while crysan-fucking him, which made it such a ***** to clean myself off afterwards, but he was on my Top 3 (technically Top 7, but semantics) and that's where it counts... Three down, eighteen to go...
Next up was none other than Hermaeus Mora... Granted, I didn't actually sleep with him since we were in the most amusing, yet friendly, back-and-forth banter of a conversation... Apparently, he was a jack-of-all trades on the verge of hunting an elusive Mastermind... All the conversation did was make me dry as fuck, thus resorting to unconventional non-sexy means to dispose of him personally... Very anti-climatic to the point that I masturbated to the voting results afterwards... and not because Jarlaxle reminded me that he was as unfuckable than a fat hippo at this point... or that I really wanted to fuck THE Crimson Pheonix aka Sheogorath without killing him... while listening to Phat Hippity Beatz's last studio album... *blinks* What? That shit ain't the one with the bad rap around here...
Anyway, I was suppose to sleep with Yandere Princess after the last Revenge Step fucked up that wary wolf of a clone, however I should have known that it's hard to catch a yandere that's also a dummodino of a princess, so I went with the next best thing... blowing up Headsprouter with a timed mine... It didn't get the rocks going, but it did make me think of the next villain I would sleep with... and it wasn't going to be that demagogue Doctor Sperm, even if he did clean most of Pumpkin King's remains...
Oh Hana... That dirty cop... The moment we climaxed while simultaneously doing the "James funs" sex position was the exact moment where I stole her memory and killed her... with scissors because, afterwards, I had to cut up her credit cards... Unlike her, they didn't have much bounce left to begin with... Still bizarre how Captain JoJo von Sexy was fine with me boning his girl and all... Oh wait... I stole his memory, too... Was it before or after the smexy sucking? *shrugs* Eh... I'll cum to me... like a facial...
That night, I stared into the abyss of a cold, dead yandere's eyes... Reflecting back at me was the sex that almost turned more deadly than the sins of Casshern, the memories that weren't cloudy with a chance of meatballs, and the kill that was more silent than the revnak of an inquisitor or the gritch of a mecha-stalin... To say that it was better than having sex with a pumpkin would be an overt statement, yet the princess's final words still summed it up quite nicely in an ironic sort of way: "Can't stop the Bop!"
To shake it off from that other night, I gave Shiro Ishii II the one death that could not kill me, yet could still get my juices flowing all the same: a Homer hold... We were already tied with no votes between us, so it felt right to end it with my own Bad Pouch hands... Granted, I did feel that tiny-ass knife (which was still bigger than Jarlaxle's... if I did glare at it, that is...) as it became a reminder that it was time to get dangerous... and that 7+8 equaled 15, ironically... *think* Now that I think about it... What did Skippy's snekadid body go?
My last kill, ironically, was not the villain with the least amounts of votes... It was also the only kill where it felt like I was being watched despite the fact that I didn't have sex with Inquisitor Glokta... Regardless, with 7 executions and, now, 8 kills, the number total now match my Player number perfectly... It brought a sudden cry to my face as it reminded me that my first Top 3 made a Player number total of 15 if arranged correctly mathematically...
As Player #15 and Hero known as Bad Pouch, I had a list of all those I wanted to sleep/kill from start to finish... Sure, it changed up based on the voting results, but that wasn't all that was steering this flagship of fucking, sucking, and chucking... You see, I kept a strict low profile; only coming out to eat and to "talk" with the Overlord, if you could even call it that... and, for the first 6 steps, it was like I wasn't even there anymore... It wasn't until the 7th step that even a single vote landed for my execution, which made me cry... again... Coincidentally, Aeromadox didn't see that and ask about potentially teaming up with him...
I could have said no... yet, somewhere in my back of my perverted mind told me not to decline because doing so would lay suspicion on one's self... So...
I agreed to the team up as we went back to Aeromadox's bedding arrangements... To keep up the illusion of That One-Night Stand Chick without wanting to bone him in the process, I only told half-truths... To this particular Mastermind, I was a Dominator who realized that no one was voting for her until now albeit with just one vote... We stuck a deal that we would focus on Lady Arachnid while hoping that we survive til the end... However, it wasn't going to be that simple...
You see, once news traveled to Omega Starbucks (a villain with low voting turnouts) that Inquisitor Glokta was dead, both our goals shifted... For me, I only had three viable options after the revenge step that would, in turn, take out the Consortia... and voting wasn't one of them... For him, by analyzing our conversations, he had enough info to convince the other villains of their pending victory... There's was just one more piece to make it official...
You see, once news traveled to Omega Starbucks (a villain with low voting turnouts) that Inquisitor Glokta was dead, both our goals shifted... For me, I only had three viable options after the revenge step that would, in turn, take out the Consortia... and voting wasn't one of them... For him, by analyzing our conversations, he had enough info to convince the other villains of their pending victory... There's was just one more piece to make it official...
No... Her webs were tied to another sky...
Kind of... Considering he knew the Hero's general strategy, it was all a matter of timing...
Eh... Why not? At that point, I forgot about the "no revote" policy... obviously...
As I retrieved the latest voting results within the darkness of the night, the feeling of being watch never went away... Luckily, I stole those x-ray goggles before the potion wore off as I quickly put them on to gaze at my surroundings... In front of me was Aeromadox, arms folded in an aerosteam of disgust... To my left side was Dr. Triceratops, visible tears across that tf2godz of a face of his... To my right was Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come, mouth agape in a secondhand revenant state... At first, there was silence as I remembered that "Marco Polo" trick from before, but before I could utter any sounds, the smell of a caramel frappe passed my nose and froze me in place... Without predicting the obvious, I knew who that was... and my senses were telling me that he had a vendetta to settle with me...
"So, Bad Pouch..." Omega Starbucks's voice didn't sound vengeful in tone... "You thought you could get away with killing my friend? A friend who, quite frankly, never voted for you? A friend who trusted me with his dying words if he ever died by the hands of you?"
"Humor me then..." My tone was coy while staring ahead of Aeromadox... "What were his dying words again? Last time I checked, he didn't say shit..."
"Well, his dying words were to find the Hero ASAP... because, at that point, it's not about the money..."
"Then, riddle me this, Starbucks... What will the last 5 remaining villains do with money that has no in-universe worth anymore?"
"That's none of your fucking business, Bad Pouch!" Aeromadox wasn't too keen with my riddle... "Can we kill him now already?"
"Patience, friend..." Omega drank his frappe like a boss before continuing... "We can always rebuild, Bad Pouch... This isn't the only universe full of villains, you know... Isn't that right, Dr. Triceratops?"
"Scientifically speaking..." Dr. Triceratops wiped the tears from his eyes when I wasn't looking... "Because the Consortia is still functional, we could use it as a propulsion, of sorts, to other universes... albeit most likely one-way-"
"Can we kill him now?" Aeromadox interrupted...
"I'm with Aero on this one..." Ghost replied... "The sooner we kill him, the sooner we can rebuild..."
Believe it or not, I just started laughing... Shaking my head and just kept on laughing...
"The fuck's wrong with this fucker?" face-palmed Aeromadox...
Omega Starbucks finished his frappe... "Why are you laughing, Bad Pouch?"
"15... It all comes back to 15..." I smirked...
"Aw, to fuck with this shit!" Aeromadox snatches one of my own knifes and impales me with it... Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come followed suit... As the first sight of blood escaped my mouth like an unplanned bukkake, Omega Starbucks, with compassion, handed me a spiked caramel frappe to hold with both hands... My frozen body could feel all 20 spikes protruding from the frappe and all across the inside of my muscles, re-shifting my That One-Night Stand Girl facade into my Bad Pouch persona... I turn to Dr. Triceratops, his missile launcher at the ready... As I coughed up more blood, it wasn't the pain from the wounds that were apparent... It was the horniness that was doing me in the most while staring into the eyes of sharp missile ready to pierce my weakened armor like it's going to enter a turtleneck keyhole...
They say that your life flashes before your eyes... If that was life that I saw right when the missile made impact, then it must have been divisible by 15... (or reminded me of the time Josh Gad was impaled...) 15... It's too late to fold because the house always win when I targeted #21... The blackjack incognita... My last real kill...
"So, Bad Pouch..." Omega Starbucks's voice didn't sound vengeful in tone... "You thought you could get away with killing my friend? A friend who, quite frankly, never voted for you? A friend who trusted me with his dying words if he ever died by the hands of you?"
"Humor me then..." My tone was coy while staring ahead of Aeromadox... "What were his dying words again? Last time I checked, he didn't say shit..."
"Well, his dying words were to find the Hero ASAP... because, at that point, it's not about the money..."
"Then, riddle me this, Starbucks... What will the last 5 remaining villains do with money that has no in-universe worth anymore?"
"That's none of your fucking business, Bad Pouch!" Aeromadox wasn't too keen with my riddle... "Can we kill him now already?"
"Patience, friend..." Omega drank his frappe like a boss before continuing... "We can always rebuild, Bad Pouch... This isn't the only universe full of villains, you know... Isn't that right, Dr. Triceratops?"
"Scientifically speaking..." Dr. Triceratops wiped the tears from his eyes when I wasn't looking... "Because the Consortia is still functional, we could use it as a propulsion, of sorts, to other universes... albeit most likely one-way-"
"Can we kill him now?" Aeromadox interrupted...
"I'm with Aero on this one..." Ghost replied... "The sooner we kill him, the sooner we can rebuild..."
Believe it or not, I just started laughing... Shaking my head and just kept on laughing...
"The fuck's wrong with this fucker?" face-palmed Aeromadox...
Omega Starbucks finished his frappe... "Why are you laughing, Bad Pouch?"
"15... It all comes back to 15..." I smirked...
"Aw, to fuck with this shit!" Aeromadox snatches one of my own knifes and impales me with it... Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come followed suit... As the first sight of blood escaped my mouth like an unplanned bukkake, Omega Starbucks, with compassion, handed me a spiked caramel frappe to hold with both hands... My frozen body could feel all 20 spikes protruding from the frappe and all across the inside of my muscles, re-shifting my That One-Night Stand Girl facade into my Bad Pouch persona... I turn to Dr. Triceratops, his missile launcher at the ready... As I coughed up more blood, it wasn't the pain from the wounds that were apparent... It was the horniness that was doing me in the most while staring into the eyes of sharp missile ready to pierce my weakened armor like it's going to enter a turtleneck keyhole...
They say that your life flashes before your eyes... If that was life that I saw right when the missile made impact, then it must have been divisible by 15... (or reminded me of the time Josh Gad was impaled...) 15... It's too late to fold because the house always win when I targeted #21... The blackjack incognita... My last real kill...