SamuelT's Character, Amber Tellik has been allocated the birthday event.
CJ1145's Character, Noah Colvan, has been gifted Lil Cal.
Benndak's Character, Lother Helrey, has been gifted evil Cal
Frogs are common place in The Land of Lore and Shadow.
The Beat Mesa is located in The Land of Rip and Prisms.
Ancient Ruins dedicated to a Frog Deity are located nearby Lareth Steele's Respite Block.
A rather large mountain formation (volcano) is located nearby Vastar Sopter's Respite Block.
A YOUNG MAN stands in his bedroom. And yes, before you even ask, he already has a name. It's not like he's just now turning 13 or some shit like that; this kid's already got his HONORARY PLACRONYM all filled out, thank you very much. Honestly, it's a little rude to presume that you get to dictate this young fellow's identity. Who do you think you are, huh?
>Luke: Be the kid.
Your name is LUKE COLLINS, and like most kids your age you have a variety of INTERESTS and HOBBIES to keep you entertained. In an attempt to further establish your identity, your room is decorated in accordance with said OCCUPATIONS; several posters are haphazardly plastered across your wall, various shelves hold some of your most treasured possessions, and your computer/TV corner is stocked with what you consider to be the apex of electronic entertainment.
Here, let's take a look at a few of your favorites, shall we?
Ah yes, good old Ned Stark and Aragorn, son of Arathorn. Paragons of honor and virtue in their respective series, men of power and might who stood by their beliefs in the face of unconquerable adversity. These guys are kind of your HEROES; regardless of their ultimate fates, they're still both great role models.
Just a small selection of your entire collection, but these are just some of the books/series that you've read over and over again. You could spend a few hours gushing about them, but that would, obviously, take a few hours out of your busy day of loafing around and being lazy. Maybe you'll get to it later.
And finally, over here in the corner, you've got your computer all set up, with some of your favorite games and... hey, Amber's online! And according to the large circle marking today's date on your calender, today's her birthday! Time to shoot her a quick hello.
-- resoluteProgeny [RP] began pestering unsolvedAnomalies [UA] at 14:18 -- RP: Hey Amber! Happy Birthday! UA: Luke! Thank you RP: How's it feel to finally be a teenager? UA: Everything I ever hoped it WOULD BE RP: Heh, glad to hear it. You doing anything fun today? RP: You know, to celebrate? UA: Well my mum surprised me today UA: entire castle is full with decorations UA: so awesome <3 RP: Wow, really? Man, that must've been tough! RP: I mean, your castle's pretty big, right? And she did it all by herself? UA: i think so haven't seen anyone helping her RP: Wow. Lucky you. UA: RP: Get any sweet cake or anything? UA: cake UA: cake everywhere RP: Everywhere? UA: well not everywhere UA: but still quite A LOT! RP: Alright, hope you enjoy it! Cake's always a fun treat, especially when it's of the birthday variety. UA: thank youuu RP: Yep, of course. UA: so what're you up to today? RP: Oh, just hanging out, I suppose. Rereading a few books, pretty much the usual. RP: Although I get the nagging feeling I'm forgetting something... UA: hmmmm.. RP: Eh, it'll come to me later. UA: It will probably prove to be utterly insignificant in the long run. RP: Oh, no doubt. RP: The chances of anything extraordinary happening today are slim, at best. UA: Hope I'll get some presents though. C's been teasing me with something awesome. RP: Yeah, I bet she would be. She's good with that kind of stuff. RP: Although speaking of presents, keep your eyes out for a blue package as well. Might be a little something in there for you. UA: o: i saw a blue package downstairs! that WAS YOURS? RP: Was it the same color as my text? UA: Lightish blue yeah RP: Then yep, that one's mine! UA: oh man oh man oh man now you got me all exited RP: Well, it's not like I was able to handmake something of total badassery or anything; odds are whatever else you'll get will put mine to shame. UA: pffff RP: But, it's something that brought me a lot of fun over the years, so I hope you'll like it. UA: You got me a present even though I'm way out here and that is awesome. RP: Hey, I only had to pay inordinate amounts of shipping costs! RP: What kind of pal would I be if I let something like that slow me down? UA: The worst of pal! RP: Exactly. UA: Though I wouldn't hold it against the ones that wouldn't or couldn't RP: Yeah, of course not. RP: Wait... was that what I forgot? UA: Was it? RP: Yeah, I think I'm expecting a pacakage today too. UA: You are? o: UA: What are you expecting? RP: Not a birthday gift obviously, but something fun. Um... RP: Right! That new game! RP: SBurb, or whatever it's called! UA: Oh yeah, that happened today. UA: Looking forward to it? RP: Can't believe I forgot about that. RP: Yeah, of course. RP: I mean, it's not my usual genre (I think) but it sounds fun. UA: I'm not entirely sure what the genre is RP: Yeah, same here. UA: I've been looking for screens or reviews or anything but the only thing I got was Gamebro RP: Bleh, Gamebro. UA: It was less than comprehensive, yeah RP: I don't understand why they're the only ones with any information on it. UA: it got a 1,5 though! lowest ironic score yet! RP: I guess that is a good sign, right? UA: I have no idea :T RP: Meh. You can't really trust boring old magizines to accurately review a game anyway. RP: So yeah, that's happening. UA: Keep an eye on Gamespot perhaps someone will put a walkthrough on it or something RP: If I have to. I prefer to figure things out on my own, for the most part. RP: But yeah, walkthroughs are handy when things get confusing. UA: So who's playing? RP: Well, you and me, obviously. UA: Durrr xD RP: Um... I think CJ said he'd be joining in. RP: Same for HS and RI. RP: Is AA playing? UA: I coaxed her into it RP: Nice. Then, that should be all of us, right? UA: Yup! gonna be awesome RP: Get a nice little party going, have some laughs, beat a few bosses maybe? RP: Dibs on the rouge class, by the way. UA: pff you can have your rouge UA: i want to be the mage RP: Success! UA: or witch in this case xD RP: Yeah, I guess the birthday girl should get to pick first. UA: So Luke RP: Hmm? UA: Can I go get my birthday present yet? =P RP: Oh, sorry! Didn't mean to keep you so long! RP: Yeah of course, go get that sucker! UA: Yaay! Thanks! UA: See ya in a bit <3 -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] ceased pestering resoluteProgeny [RP] at 14:43 --
You hope that Amber will enjoy your gift; it's something that you've had all your life, as far back as you can possibly remember! Its binding may be torn and ragged, its ink old and faded, but a good story never goes out of style.
Anyway, looks like a few other of your friends are slowly coming online. Might as well check in with the rest of them, try and figure out what's up with them and the game.
You are now LARETH STEELE. "Steele" isn't your PLACRONYM NAME, of course. You had it changed to Steele (and threw the HONORARY PLACRONYM out the window into your LAWN RING below) after taking one too many "Nookas" jibes. But nomenclature aside, you have a few INTERESTS, all of which have already been laid out and will not be repeated here.
>Lareth: Look around.
Your RESPITEBLOCK is decorated with all manner of HARD-BOILED FRIVOLITIES! The dark gray walls are barely visible beneath layers upon layers of FILM NOIR POSTERS. In fact, your Respiteblock likely depicts more CIGARETTES, REVOLVERS and VIGILANTES than are found in all of SPACE HELL, a realm of suffering and terror known only as DETROIT!
Your eye wanders to an image of TROLL HUMPHREY BOGART. You SWOON briefly. Your LIPSTICK AND CIGARETTES METER rises ever-so-slightly! You're KIND OF OKAY WITH THAT YOU GUESS. You sincerely doubt you will ever have occasion to use all the ridiculous meters you've accrued over the sweeps...but it sure feels nice to accomplish things, no matter how arbitrary!
>Lareth: Yeah, that's great. Now go talk with somebody.
You're pretty bummed out by your sudden and inexplicable lack of interest in your TOTALLY AWESOME SURROUNDINGS! Still, you were kind of planning on contacting one of your friends anyway, seeing as the GREATEST GAME OF ALL TIME is so close to release!
[16:52] -- mysteriousBroad [MB] began trolling conductiveArtisan [CA] at 16:52 --
[16:52] MB: vastar.
[16:52] CA: hey lareth>
[16:53] CA: something up?
[16:53] MB: impatient. eager.
[16:53] MB: news on sgrub?
[16:54] CA: not that i know of>
[16:54] CA: i,ve been checking every minute>
[16:54] MB: damn.
[16:55] CA: i can,t wait though>
[16:55] MB: same.
[16:55] CA: weird though' most of the news sites don,t know much about it>
[16:55] MB: fools.
[16:56] MB: bought out.
[16:56] MB: all corrupt.
[16:56] CA: yeah>
[16:56] CA: that makes sense>
[16:57] CA: i did find one walkthrough though'
[16:57] CA: it,s hard to decipher
[16:57] CA: and kinda incomplete>
[16:58] MB: odd.
[16:59] CA: it,s got all these weird machine names too>
[16:59] MB: hm?
[16:59] CA: have you ever heard of anything like a cruxtruder?
[17:00] MB: no.
[17:00] MB: sounds painful.
[17:00] MB: will avoid.
[17:00] CA: neither have i>
[17:00] CA: but here,s the thing' it looks important>
[17:00] MB: concerning.
[17:01] CA: scary thing is' it seems to show a countdown once you "activate" it>
[17:01] CA: could be a type of bomb?
[17:01] MB: possible.
[17:01] CA: anyway' that,s all i got from it so far>
[17:01] CA: it,s written in this weird language>
[17:01] MB: seems strange. why a bomb?
[17:01] MB: no purpose.
[17:02] CA: maybe there is one>>>
[17:02] MB: and odd language.
[17:02] CA: you never know with bombs>
[17:02] MB: absurd name.
[17:02] MB: leak reliable?
[17:03] CA: it,s confusing as hell' but it seems legitamate>
[17:03] MB: will reserve judgement.
[17:04] CA: here' i,ll send you the link>
[17:04] MB: hm.
[17:05] MB: screenshots detailed.
[17:05] MB: high-quality if fake.
[17:06] CA: yeah>
[17:06] CA: see what i mean by weird language though?
[17:06] MB: yes.
[17:06] MB: unfamiliar.
[17:06] MB: will research.
[17:07] CA: luckily my browser can translate some stuff>
[17:08] MB: translation likely imperfect.
[17:08] MB: explains incompleteness.
[17:08] CA: yeah>
[17:09] MB: "prototyping".
[17:09] MB: details missing.
[17:10] MB: unsure what it is.
[17:10] CA: well as far as i know' prototyping would be making a working model of>>> something>
[17:10] MB: yes.
[17:10] CA: but with this game? who knows>
[17:10] MB: section dedicated to it.
[17:10] MB: probably important.
[17:10] MB: intriguing.
[17:11] CA: yeah>
[17:11] CA: oh crap>
[17:11] MB: sgrub?
[17:12] CA: ,nother earthquake>
[17:12] CA: starting to think this stupid molehill,s a volcano
[17:13] CA: silly right?
[17:13] MB: perhaps.
[17:13] MB: very mysterious.
[17:13] MB: must investigate.
[17:14] CA: it has been happening a lot recently>
[17:14] CA: hm>>>>
[17:14] MB: will uncover mysteries.
[17:14] MB: after sgrub of course.
[17:14] CA: of course>
[17:15] MB: priorities.
[17:15] CA: heh>
[17:16] CA: i,m starting to feel like it won,t even be today>>> but they said it would be right? skaianet industries?
[17:16] MB: yes.
[17:16] MB: don't trust.
[17:17] CA: they,ve never made any other games>
[17:17] MB: yes.
[17:17] MB: inexperienced.
[17:17] MB: delays likely.
[17:17] CA: yeah>
[17:19] MB: heard something.
[17:19] MB: crashing.
[17:20] CA: oh?
[17:20] MB: outside.
[17:20] CA: hm>
[17:20] MB: concerning.
[17:20] CA: you should investigate>
[17:20] MB: must investigate. yes.
[17:20] MB: talk later.
[17:20] CA: see ya>>
[17:20] -- mysteriousBroad [MB] gave up trolling conductiveArtisan [CA] at 17:20 --
Somewhere completely different, a completely different young man stands in a completely different bedroom. Have I mentioned that these young men are completely different?
This man's HONORARY PLACRONYM is also filled out. It has been like that for three years. So just take a step back from that placronym! Not that you could find among these haphazardly placed PLAYING CARDS.
>Be this joker.
Your name is ISAAC PATERSON, and you have many INTERESTS and HOBBIES. Your foremost INTEREST is ART. You enjoy DRAWING, PAINTING and SKETCHING. In fact, you enjoy any method of rendering something in pictographic form.
Another of your HOBBIES, and the source of this multicoloured, symbol-filled cotton-paper chaos, is GAMBLING. It is not the most wholesome of HOBBIES, but it is entertaining. It is also a good way for you to bond with your DAD, who is a BLACKJACK DEALER at a NEARBY CASINO.
Your floor is littered with, as well as playing cards, various DICE. Your prized DIE, an INCREDIBLY LUCKY d20 which has ALMOST NEVER FAILED YOU IN A CAMPAIGN, is in a GLASS CASE.
>Retrieve Lucky Die.
You retrieve your Lucky d20 and assign it to your STRIFE SPECIBUS.
>Enough of this time-wasting!
Of course! You suddenly remember your friend, who is currently celebrating her BIRTHDAY.
Not just that, but one of your other MANY FRIENDS, Luke appears to be up and about.
> Be the recently trolled troll
You are now VASTAR SOPTER. Engineer extraordinaire. Or you would be if you didn't spend most of your time on the internet and playing games. which reminds you, > check to see if sgrub is out yet
.... nope. still nothing. uugh how long will it taaaaaaake? > look around respiteblock
you have a few posters up, MOST OF THEM FROM GAMES YOU HAVE LOVED, such as prototype, megaman, and more of the like. you also have pictures of troll Albert Einstein and troll Nikola Tesla, your two role models in the realm of science. you have parts of half finished lunar panels and hydrogen cells strewn around, and your SECRET POWER SOURCE under a sheet on your desk. also on your desk is your flashlight, and your arm cannon. BOTH OF WHICH YOU ARE EXTREMELY PROUD OF. but for different reasons. > examine hive
Your hive is in one of the most beautiful spots in the world for someone like you. It is right next to a pond, perfect for your lusus, which is connected to a river. since you are an ENERGY ENTHUSIAST, you have placed turbines all around your hive, for wind power, water power, and lunar power of course. THERE'S ALSO A LARGE MOUNTAIN NEAR YOUR HIVE THAT CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A VOLCANO. that would just be silly.... what were we up to again? > check on lusus
Oh right! the earthquake! your lusus was probably sleeping... you should check on her.
[11:25] -- concaveJavelin [CJ] began pestering resoluteProgeny [RP] at 23:25 --
[11:25] CJ: HeY
[11:25] RP: Oh, hey Isaac! How's it going?
[11:26] CJ: FinE. HoW IS IT WitH YoU?
[11:26] RP: Oh, things are going alright. Just woke up, chatted with Amber, remembered about Sburb.
[11:27] RP: You know, same old, same old.
[11:27] RP: Hey, you were planning on picking up Sburb too, right?
[11:27] CJ: YeaH. HavE YoU HearD AnythinG MorE AbouT IT?
[11:28] RP: Well, since the only source that seems to have any information on it is ...Gamebro... no, I have not.
[11:29] CJ: DamN... HeY, IsN'T IT SupposeD TO ComE OuT ThiS WeeK?
[11:30] RP: Actually, I think it ships today! We should all be getting it soon, hopefully within the next few hours. The company's doing some weird, universal postal thing, so that everyone around the world gets their copies at about the same time.
[11:31] RP: I don't know how the managed the timing, but it's convient for groups like ours, scattered as we are.
[11:31] CJ: IT IS AmazinG.
[11:31] RP: Indeed.
[11:31] CJ: ThougH I DoubT MY CopY WilL ArrivE TodaY... WhaT WitH IT BeinG NeaR MidnighT.
[11:32] CJ: BuT StilL
[11:32] CJ: MaybE IT'LL ArrivE IN ThE NighT.
[11:32] CJ: DelivereD BY SomE KinD OF NocturnaL PostmaN.
[11:33] RP: Eh, hell if I know. They might have pulled something like that off.
[11:33] RP: Here's hoping though.
[11:33] CJ: YeP
[11:33] RP: It'd be great if we could all start playing at roughly the same time.
[11:34] CJ: I AssumE WE WilL.
[11:34] CJ: BY SomE SheeR AcT OF GoD.
[11:34] RP: Of course; miracles are always nice.
[11:34] CJ: EitheR A GoD OF TimE, OR OnE OF LucK.
[11:34] CJ: IF SucH A ThinG WerE PossiblE.
[11:35] CJ: AnD NoT IncrediblY SillY.
[11:35] RP: If only. If only.
[11:35] RP: So, what do you think the game'll be like?
[11:36] RP: I've got my fingers crossed for some kind of multiplayer RPG.
[11:36] CJ: SamE HerE.
[11:37] CJ: ThougH IT SeemS LikE SomE KinD OF 'SimS' GamE.
[11:37] RP: Blargh.
[11:37] RP: I can hadle that kind of stff in small quanities, but here's hoping it's not too much of the gameplay.
[11:38] CJ: YeaH. I WanT TO SmasH UP A LoaD OF MonsterS WitH CooL WeaponS,
[11:38] CJ: NoT BuilD GravitY-DefyinG TowerS.
[11:38] RP: ...That's an oddly specific statement.
[11:39] RP: Hmm... are you hiding something?
[11:39] CJ: NO. ThaT'S JusT WhaT I DO IN ThE SimS.
[11:39] RP: Ah. I wouldn't know, obviously.
[11:39] CJ: MostlY BecausE I WisH DeatH ON ThosE CO-DependenT SpriteS.
[11:40] RP: Alrighty then.
[11:40] CJ: YeS.
[11:41] RP: Hey, have you talked to Amber yet?
[11:41] RP: It's her birthday today too! Lucky her, huh?
[11:42] CJ: NoT YeT... I'M StilL HavinG TroublE WitH AlL ThesE BloodY TimezoneS.
[11:42] CJ: I WisH I HaD A TimE MachinE OR SomethinG...
[11:42] CJ: I'D GeT A LoT MorE DonE.
[11:43] RP: Yeah, those can be tricky. I used to have a lot of difficulty with them; made it hard to chat with all you guys.
[11:43] RP: Then my Grandpa sat me down and made me learn all of them by heart. So, I've got a decent feel for time around the world.
[11:44] RP: Not like I'm expert, but hopefully I won't pester you at 4 in the morning.
[11:44] CJ: NoT MucH OF A ProbleM.
[11:44] CJ: I'M NocturnaL.
[11:45] RP: I always thought you seemed to be up abnormally late.
[11:45] CJ: HahA YeaH...
[11:45] RP: Then again, I'm hardly one to talk; give me something to do and I can go for a couple days without sleep, easy.
[11:46] CJ: WelL, I SupposE I ShoulD ConsulT A StacK OF HallmarK CardS TO FinD ThE PerfecT MessagE FoR AmbeR.
[11:46] RP: Heh, nice.
[11:47] -- concaveJavelin [CJ] ceased pestering resoluteProgeny
>Consult stack of Hallmark Cards.
You rifle through the pile filled with various greeting, holiday, birthday and bar/bat mitzvah cards.
You realise how stupid they are. You decide to go with Happy Birthday.
>Pester Amber
[12:34] -- concaveJavelin [CJ] began pestering unsolvedAnomalies [UA] at 00:34 --
[12:34] CJ: HeY
[12:35] UA: Isaac! Morning.
[12:35] CJ: WhaT? OH, RighT... TimezoneS...
[12:35] CJ: HappY BirthdaY!
[12:35] UA: Thaaank you
[12:36] CJ: NO ProbleM.
[12:36] UA: Man. So many birthday wishes today. Way better than LAST YEAR.
[12:36] CJ: HaH. SO, HavE YoU GotteN SburB YeT?
[12:37] UA: I think so. It's in the pile of mail downstairs.
[12:37] CJ: WelL ThaT'S GreaT.
[12:37] UA: I kinda sifted all my presents out of there before legging it, to be honest
[12:37] UA: Do you?
[12:37] CJ: HahA.
[12:38] CJ: NO, IT'S MidnighT HerE.
[12:38] UA: Boo
[12:38] CJ: YoU HavinG IT KinD OF RuinS MyselF AnD LukE'S TheorY OF TheM AlL ArrivinG AT ThE SamE TimE.
[12:39] UA: Sorry! D:
[12:39] CJ: MeH. IT WaS A StretcH.
[12:39] UA: I kind of didn't pay attention, so it's viable that I don't have it yet
[12:39] CJ: WelL, YoU ProbablY DO. ThE TheorY InvolveD NocturnaL PostmeN.
[12:40] UA: Huh.
[12:40] UA: I am now imagining mailman Batman
[12:40] CJ: ...
[12:41] CJ: WonderfuL. NoW I AM AS WelL.
[12:41] UA: it is an image worth imagining though!
[12:41] CJ: YeaH. IT DoeS MakE HiM SeeM LesS ImpressivE ThougH...
[12:42] CJ: CongratulationS! YoU RuineD BatmaN.
[12:42] CJ: /SarcasM
[12:42] UA: D: nooo not batman!
[12:42] UA:
[12:42] CJ: HeH.
[12:43] UA: do you have any idea what this SBURB is about? i've been looking for any material on it but it's kind of an enigma
[12:43] CJ: NonE WhatsoeveR.
[12:43] CJ: LukE WantS SomE KinD OF MmorpG
[12:43] UA: bluh
[12:44] CJ: I ThinK IT SoundS LikE 'ThE SimS'
[12:44] CJ: OnlY WorsE, BecausE IT IsN'T ThE SimS.
[12:44] CJ: IT'S AN ImpostoR
[12:44] CJ: OR... SimpostoR.
[12:44] UA: >.>
[12:44] UA: <.<
[12:44] UA: Do you hear that, Isaac? No one is laughing at your awful puns
[12:45] CJ: I ThoughT IT WaS DecenT.
[12:45] UA: No pun can ever be described as anything decent
[12:46] CJ: ArE YoU SayinG I ShoulD BE PunisheD FoR MakinG ThaT PuN?
[12:46] CJ: PuN-IsheD.
[12:46] UA: Ok, that one was good xD
[12:46] CJ: OF CoursE IT WaS.
[12:47] CJ: EverythinG I DO IS GooD.
[12:47] CJ: NoW, I'M GoinG TO IndulgE A PointlesS HabiT AnD AsK A 10P CoiN IF I CaN SleeP NoW.
[12:48] UA: leaving it up to chance again?
[12:48] CJ: CoiN IS TellinG ME NO.
[12:48] CJ: SO IS InterneT.
[12:48] CJ: 2-1 VotE.
[12:48] UA: Are you tired? If you are, I command you to sleep! And my word counts for two, because it's my birthday
[12:49] CJ: KkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkgyF/I;YfdD
[12:49] CJ: ThaT WaS ME PassinG OuT ON MY KeyboarD.
[12:49] CJ: AsleeP.
[12:50] UA: Go to bed Is.
[12:50] CJ: MaY AS WelL.
[12:50] CJ: CoiN HaS ChangeD ItS MinD.
[12:50] CJ: ...
[12:50] CJ: HeR MinD?
[12:50] CJ: IT HaS A WomaN ON IT...
[12:51] CJ: AnD A MalE LioN...
[12:51] UA: I'm pretty sure the coin would not really care it's sexual orientation ;D
[12:51] CJ: HoW DO YoU KnoW?
[12:51] CJ: I MighT PuT IT IN WitH A LoaD OF £S
[12:51] CJ: AnD IT'S LikE 'HelL NO'
[12:52] CJ: 'I LikE PennieS'.
[12:52] CJ: AnD I'M LikE 'WhY AM I TalkinG TO A CoiN'.
[12:52] UA: You're postponing your imminent sleep! x(
[12:53] CJ: MaybE ThaT'S MY EviL PlaN!
[12:53] CJ: MuahahA!
[12:53] UA: D: Noes! Isaac has turned evil
[12:53] UA: I will get my drumsticks and baet you into good again!
[12:54] CJ: GooD LucK!
[12:54] CJ: YoU'LL NeeD IT.
[12:54] CJ: I HavE MY D20
[12:54] UA: ohnooooo
[12:54] UA: not the plastic lumps
[12:54] CJ: HeY.
[12:54] CJ: IT HaS SharP CornerS.
[12:55] CJ: AnywaY, LioN LiZ IS TellinG ME TO BE NicE TO YoU.
[12:55] CJ: SO...
[12:55] CJ: *PatS HeaD NicelY*
[12:55] UA:
[12:56] CJ: MY PlaN HaS SucceedeD.
[12:56] UA: Your...evil plan?
[12:56] CJ: I DoN'T KnoW...
[12:57] CJ: IS ForcinG InsomniA ON YourselF EviL?
[12:57] CJ: OR StupiD?
[12:57] UA: Kind of. :\
[12:58] CJ: WelL TheN
[12:58] CJ: IT'S MY EviL PlaN
[12:58] CJ: MuahahA AnD SO FortH.
[01:00] CJ: ToO TireD FoR EviL.
[01:00] UA: :I Well, you refuse to sleep yet you are too tired for anything!
[01:01] CJ: ThiS IS StupiD.
[01:01] CJ: I'M GoinG TO PasS OuT.
[01:01] CJ: ZzZ
[01:02] UA: *poke*
[01:02] CJ: *BatS HanD AwaY*
[01:02] UA: Akay. He's asleep.
[01:02] UA: Gonna eat some cake then.
[01:03] CJ: UmnumnuM
[01:03] UA: *lightly puts a blanked over Isaac while giving the most gentle of forhead kisses*
[01:03] UA: goooooood night
[01:03] -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] ceased pestering concaveJavelin [CJ] at 01:03 --
>Fall asleep.
You pass out right there at your computer.
Look at yourself.
Your name is MALLIK TAMRIN,a fact reminded to you by the PLACRONYM hanging on the WALL of your RESPITEBLOCK.Most of the walls of your RESPITEBLOCK are covered with shelves filled with BOOKS and MOVIES about the dreaded SCOUNDRATEERS,a group that you hope to one day join.On separate,smaller shelves are your ROMANCE NOVELS,which most of your friends tend to find cheesy.But not you.You like to think of yourself as an expert on ROMANCE.Your RECUPERACOON sits in a little corner,the lone WINDOW of the block next to it.You keep everything away from it so as not to damage the MOVIES and NOVELS.That would be TOTALLY UNCOOL
In the center of your RESPITEBLOCK rests your DESK,upon which lies your GRUBTOP and assorted items of interest.Your ANCHORKIND weapon,SCOURGE OF THE DEPTHS,is propped up against the DESK.Only a HIGHBLOOD could hope to wield such a fine weapon on account of it being really,really HEAVY.You have gotten quite use it its weigh though and have killed many a monster that dare attack your home!
>Take a look outside
You look outside and see the magnificent BLACK SEA that stretches for MILES outward.Most would have thought you a FOOL for building your HIVE on a BEACH next to the SEA,but you don't mind.Infact,you love the water!And thanks to MOM's wonderful swimming and hunting lessons,you have come to be quite capable in it.
But you could be even better if you had been hatched a SEABLOOD...
>Log onto Trollian to forget about your troubles
You could do with a bit of respectably flirting to get your thinkpan off of that.
Your name is JACK WEBBER, as seen by the HONORARY PLACRONYM sitting on the UNBELIEVABLY HARMLESS PILE OF GUNS in one corner of your room. Speaking of which?.
>Jack: Examine room.
Your room is filled with a variety of objects pertaining to your PAST and PRESENT INTERESTS and HOBBIES. Of all the items collected over the years, a few things have remained the same, like your love of VIDEO GAMES, evident by the large TELEVISION sitting in one corner of your crowded room, and the RESPECTIBLY SIZED RACK of CONSOLES and GAMES flanking it. Overshadowing this though, is the MASSIVE BOOKSHELF which consumes the wall next to it, a sight that greets you whenever you roll out of BED. This bookshelf is packed to the brim with all sorts of LITERATURE, from IMMENSE TOMES written by FAMOUS HUMORISTS, to some of your BELOVED CHILDRENS BOOKS, even a GAMIING MAGAZINE or two. There are also a few CD?S sitting near one end of the shelf, though your DAD has more, as evident of the ROCKING METAL TUNES blasting up from beneath the floorboards.
Not that you MIND, after all, you live A FAIR WAYS AWAY from the nearest TOWNSHIP and hence do not have any NEIGHBOURS to be bothered by the BRUCE DICKINSON?S PIERCING VOCALS.
>Jack: Check your computer.
It?s a Laptop and in your opinion it barely deserves to be called that. The bloody thing doesn?t even have a CD drive! None the less, after your last computer, for lack of a better term, EXPLODED, you?ve been force to use this conksuck piece of shit.
>Fine, check your laptop.
Right, anyway your torrent of SBURB seems to be coming along nicely, it should be finished in time for you to play with your mates. In the meantime you check up on some of the webcomics that you follow.
You wake up suddenly. Your computer has switched itself off, thankfully. That is a very useful feature for someone like yourself, who has very little time for things like 'switching off computers'. You wish you had more time.
>Check for mail.
You open your bedroom door, and look outside. The mail has arrived, obviously. It would be stupid to think it hadn't. The Royal Mail workers are very efficient when they do their jobs.
And you can see it, plain as day. On top of the turn-tables you were given three years ago, despite showing little to no interest in them. They are now used as a normal table and music player when there are house guests.
That means, among other things, that your DAD is awake.
You've been doing that for, like three hours now! And just as you suspected, today is the perfect day for ADVENTURE!
Up on your roof is the usual spot where you start your day, surveying the LANDSCAPE. When your MOM built this house she picked a rather remote spot, a good hundred miles from the nearest city, and only rustic border town within reach. Cities suck, but those VILLAGES are quite nice and homey to you. The downside is, you don't really have any FRIENDS to ADVENTURE with. But you've still got PESTERCHUM! Problem is, nobody seems to be on right now. You've been checking your cell phone repeatedly.
You always kind of wonder why everyone uses PESTERCHUM only on their COMPUTERS. What if they're out exploring some cave, and they need to check up on their pal?
Aaanyways, you stick your BINOCULARS back into your SYLLADEX, right next to your 50 YARDS OF ROPE. You're quite certain you've never been prepared to go DUNGEON DIVING in your life.
>Head inside. Greet only friend.
Hey Cal!
The trip to your room is a simple one, since it's the only window next to your LOOKOUT POINT you just swing down and jump in. As always, your LOVABLE, CACKLING PAL is sitting on your BED waiting for you. You remember the first day you met him, back on your 10th BIRTHDAY when your Mom brought him home to you. She said she picked it up while she was raiding the old MINING TOMBS in Texas. You're not really sure MINING TOMBS are a thing, but you're still thankful she thought of you and got him. LIL CAL is simply the best ADVENTURING BUDDY you could ever have! You take him wherever you go exploring, except your ROOF.
He hates heights!
You take a look at your little slice of heaven you call a ROOM. Posters adorn every inch they can without blocking out the WINDOWS. INDIANA JONES, THE DOCTOR, and of course SHERLOCK HOLMES are at the forefront of your collection.
Oh, ROBERT DOWNEY JR., you don't care what the nay-sayers... erm, say! You are simply the best HOLMES there ever was! You can only dream that one day you'll be as great a SLEUTHER and DEALER OF MANGRIT as he. Of course, you're also an avid GAMER, movies are nowhere near your only hobby.
A huge shelf next to your state of the art COMPUTER FROM THE 90s contains many classic titles. The entire MONKEY ISLAND SERIES, FULL THROTTLE, MYST, not to mention PROBLEM SLEUTH, of course. Name an ADVENTURE, and you've embarked on it and completed it no less than four times! On the shelf below them is, of course, your impressive BOOK COLLECTION, including many CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURE NOVELS, and various classics such as TREASURE ISLAND!
And on the shelf below THAT is all your other video games!
What? Just because you like ADVENTURE doesn't mean you don't like to bash some skulls in TEKKEN now and again. You recall your mother telling you that only a healthy mind could properly ADVENTURE, and a healthy mind needs variety.
With that in mind, you do tend to keep yourself rather busy. WRITING is a personal favorite pastime of yours, wherein you write on a variety of topics, all situated snugly in the ADVENTURE genre. It's no secret you kind of SUCK BALLS at following your mother's advice.
You do have ONE escape from all the ADVENTURE though. Today, you and your friends are about to take part in playing the sensation that is sweeping teh interwebs, SBURB! It's been some time now, but your mail is due to arrive today, and with it your copy! You CAPTCHALOGUE CAL to bring him on the journey with you, and head downstairs.
> check lusus
you look around for your lusus, but you don't see her anywhere. There's nothing unusual in the alternian night sky no dragonflies or anything. There's a slight reddish tint, but it's probably the moon. The pink one that is. From the outside of your hive you can see the mountain looming overhead, miles and miles of solid stone. You often mine around near it for metals for projects, it has quite an abundance of useful materials. Because of this, you have a nice mine shaft dug near the base. You hope that your lusus hasn't been flying around inside again, since you started using robots to mine the hole has become unstable. Anyway, your lusus doesn't seem to be around. You'll check on her again later. > return to hive
you do so.
>Luke: Finish up your conversations. Well, it looks like today's gotten off to a decent start. From your experience, there are far worse ways to start a morning then chatting with a couple friends. Amber sounds like she's excited for her birthday, and Isaac is being his normal, kind-of-out-of-it self. Yeah, looks like today's going to be pretty ordinary.
With a few clicks of your mouse, you exit out of your current conversations, and flash back to your desktop. You figure you might as well brush up on a few of your favorite webcomics, before you really get productive. You open up the latest version of RAMIEL, and spend a few minutes trying to make sense of the latest MSPA update.
You used to think that PROBLEM SLEUTH was complicated, but this new MIDNIGHT CREW adventure is just insane. Seriously, could the author get any more confusing at this point? It's like he's just throwing random things together, and plans to sort everything out when he gets to the ending. Seriously, who writes like that?
>Luke: Yes, we get it. You're being meta. Go do something useful. Hmm. For some reason you feel like getting snappy with somebody. Oh well, you're sure you'll be able to do that later. Well, time to get started.
As much as you want to head downstairs and check the mail, you should probably put that off until after practice. As great as your GRANDPA normally is, there are a few rules he adamantly stands by. Practicing your musical skills everyday is one of them. Not really sure why he sticks to that one so rigidly, but what are you gonna do?
Rising from your seat, you head on over to your bed, and the CELLO tucked behind its headboard. It takes you a few seconds of looking around before you remember that you CAPTCHALOGUED your BOW after your last practice session; looks like you'll have to retrieve that before you can begin.
You sigh to yourself, as you examine your derelict inventory, deprived of all the awesome stuff it once held. Using your MAGIC FETCH MODUS was easy back when you had dozens of Lands stored inside it, but after that last "friendly" kerfuffle with your guardian, you're down to a measly five. The rest are hopefully still scattered around the house; hopefully you'll be able to find them before you need to carry anything too expensive around.
Luckily, you are still able to carry around a few low-cost items, your CELLO BOW being one of them. 1 Green, 2 Colorless is easy enough to pay. You tap the necessary mana (Forest, Swamp, Mountain), and bam: time to play some music.
While you're still learning the finer points of the instrument, you've had enough practice to memorize a few pieces. After a bit of warming up, playing a few cords and the like, you decide to get some BACH all up in this *****.
Well, that was nice. The music's put you in a pretty good mood, your fingers are all warmed up and dexterous, the sun is shining, the MAILBOX FLAP THING is pointing up, the birds are singing, and...
> Vastar: return to computer
wait... is that! it is! news about sgrub!
you'd better update your friends. but it seems like only one of them is online! > troll the composer
[08:15] -- conductiveArtisan [CA] began trolling shadySymphonist [SS] at 20:15 --
[08:15] CA: lother
[08:15] CA: you there?
[08:16] SS: ♪Hey there Sopter♪
[08:16] SS: ♪How's things♪
[08:16] CA: so i found out some more about sgrub>
[08:17] CA: si finally posted some news about it>
[08:17] CA: they,ve released it' but>>>
[08:18] SS: ♪But♪
[08:18] SS: ♪Always the butts♪
[08:18] CA: when you try to download it' a message comes up saying that your copy of sgrub is on it,s way>
[08:18] CA: and shush>
[08:19] SS: ♪Hey easy now♪
[08:19] SS: ♪I'm just joking around♪
[08:19] CA: >>>>
[08:19] CA: right>
[08:19] SS: ♪We don't want to disturb the proverbial bull penis in our relationship here♪
[08:19] SS: ♪Alright sorry I'm sidestepping the question♪
[08:19] SS: ♪My copy of Sgrub is♪
[08:19] CA: anyway it says that you need to locate your copy>
[08:19] SS: ♪Uh♪
[08:20] SS: ♪Not here yet♪
[08:20] SS: ♪Yeah♪
[08:20] SS: ♪Nope not here but I'm sure it'll be here pretty forthwith♪
[08:20] SS: ♪And then we can all work together♪
[08:20] CA: it seems like they send it to you in some weird roundabout way>
[08:20] SS: ♪That seems like a pretty specific thing to know, Sopter♪
[08:21] CA: well since more they set up the download link people are writing about the game>
[08:21] SS: ♪Writing?♪
[08:21] CA: you know i have a crippling addiction to forums>
[08:22] CA: at the worst>>>
[08:22] CA: anyway since i,ve been looking for all the news i can' and this showed up>
[08:22] SS: ♪Very helpful of you♪
[08:23] SS: ♪I've been flying blind here♪
[08:23] SS: ♪Steele is hardly any help♪
[08:23] CA: people are finding copies all over alternia>>>
[08:23] SS: ♪Curious♪
[08:23] SS: ♪Good thing my copy is safe and sound and on its way here♪
[08:23] SS: ♪And definitely not stolen by a demon♪
[08:23] CA: oh' you talked to lareth?
[08:23] SS: ♪That was implied♪
[08:24] CA: did she say anything about any loud crashes outside her hive?
[08:25] SS: ♪I think she would've mentioned something♪
[08:25] SS: ♪She did not♪
[08:25] SS: ♪On the other hand we were pretty occupied♪
[08:25] SS: ♪Important discussions and whatnot♪
[08:25] CA: well she said she was going to investigate one>
[08:26] CA: but hopefully my copy is on the way>
[08:26] CA: i hope i don,t have to do anything stupid to get it>
[08:26] CA: like dive to the bottom of my pond>
[08:27] SS: ♪At least you have company, Lopter♪
[08:27] SS: ♪Sopter♪
[08:27] SS: ♪Copter♪
[08:27] SS: ♪I haven't slept in a while♪
[08:27] CA: oh?
[08:27] SS: ♪It's been pretty hard to sleep♪
[08:27] SS: ♪I've been nervous about Sgrub♪
[08:27] CA: running out of sopor?
[08:27] SS: ♪And that's definitely all that's troubling me 100%♪
[08:28] SS: ♪I never run out of sopor♪
[08:28] CA: nervous? it,s just a game>
[08:28] SS: ♪I just got a bad feeling♪
[08:28] CA: excited i get' but nervous?
[08:28] SS: ♪Because of Sgrub♪
[08:28] SS: ♪Not demons♪
[08:28] SS: ♪Sgrub♪
[08:28] CA: hm>
[08:29] SS: ♪Hm indeed♪
[08:29] SS: ♪Anyway, Sopter, thanks for the help but you really shouldn't worry♪
[08:29] CA: alright>
[08:30] SS: ♪Just been up late with all my musical bullshit♪
[08:30] SS: ♪You know♪
[08:30] SS: ♪For sure♪
[08:30] SS: ♪You're a good man, Vastar Sopter♪
[08:30] SS: ♪You're a good man♪
[08:30] SS: ♪I should write a song about you♪
[08:30] SS: ♪I'll get right on it in fact♪
[08:30] SS: ♪Vastaaar, you know who you are♪
[08:30] CA: that,d be the most boring song in the world
[08:30] SS: ♪You're the best friend in a twenty mile radius of our star♪
[08:30] CA: i literally do nothing interesting ever>
[08:31] SS: ♪Nonsense♪
[08:31] SS: ♪You're the one keeping all of us informed aren't you♪
[08:31] CA: well' yeah>>>
[08:31] SS: ♪Ever read Troll Batman♪
[08:31] SS: ♪Well, in the musical version, his young aide Troll Robin is injured and paralyzed♪
[08:32] SS: ♪But he was one of my favorite characters even though all he did was sit behind a computer♪
[08:32] SS: ♪Can you dig it♪
[08:32] CA: i can relate 100%>>>
[08:32] SS: ♪Well you can walk♪
[08:32] SS: ♪So I'd say you relate about 35%♪
[08:32] SS: ♪Give or take♪
[08:32] CA: ehehehehe>
[08:33] CA: oh!
[08:33] SS: ♪Oh♪
[08:33] CA: lareth,s online>
[08:34] CA: i,d better update her>
[08:34] CA: good luck with your demon problem!
[08:34] SS: ♪There is no demon problem♪
[08:34] SS: ♪Some people, I swear♪
[08:34] -- conductiveArtisan [CA] gave up trolling shadySymphonist [SS] at 20:34 --
> Update Lareth
[09:03] -- conductiveArtisan [CA] began trolling mysteriousBroad
[MB] at 21:03 --
[09:03] CA: lareth!
[09:03] CA: news about sgrub!
[09:04] MB: vastar.
[09:04] MB: inform.
[09:04] CA: when you try to download it' it just says that your copy is on it,s way>
[09:05] CA: and people are finding their copies in the weirdest places>
[09:05] MB: mysterious amphibian ruins.
[09:05] MB: ...other, uh, places.
[09:05] MB: fits evidence.
[09:06] CA: mysterious amphibian ruins?
[09:06] MB: yes.
[09:06] MB: located near hive.
[09:06] CA: oh wow>
[09:06] MB: sgrub likely there.
[09:06] MB: irritating.
[09:07] CA: can you get inside?
[09:07] MB: yes.
[09:07] MB: no alternative.
[09:07] MB: will find way.
[09:07] CA: that,s good>
[09:08] MB: yes.
[09:08] CA: i still don,t know where my copy is>
[09:08] MB: unfortunate.
[09:09] MB: keep eye out.
[09:09] CA: but lother seems to have an idea about his>
[09:09] MB: expect shenanigans.
[09:09] CA: i will>
[09:09] CA: still can,t find my lusus>>>
[09:09] MB: will turn up.
[09:09] MB: worrying pointless.
[09:10] CA: I hope so>>>
[09:10] CA: it,s not like she has a magnificent horn that can pierce boulders>>>>
[09:10] CA: those wings of hers are fragile>>>>
[09:11] MB: looked after you.
[09:11] MB: can look after self.
[09:11] CA: good point>
[09:12] CA: well>>> maybe i should use this time waiting for sgrub to work on my secret project>
[09:13] MB: mysterious.
[09:13] MB: require information.
[09:13] CA: >>>> fine>
[09:14] CA: but you can,t tell anyone>
[09:14] CA: i,m working ok something like my lunar panels
[09:14] CA: but for the sun>
[09:15] CA: it,s a lot more powerful than the moons' so i should get a lot more power from them>
[09:16] MB: intriguing.
[09:17] MB: likely problematic.
[09:17] CA: problem is' i,m not a jade blood' so going out during the day would be near idiotic' so it,s hard to figure out how much more powerful the sun is>
[09:17] MB: assume "dangerously".
[09:18] CA: but if i can figure that out' and i can figure out what the sun is even made of that makes it so powerful' i could make a new cannon!
[09:19] CA: one discovery leads to another>
[09:19] MB: um.
[09:19] MB: isn't question answered?
[09:19] CA: oh>>> sorry>
[09:20] CA: got into inventing mode>>>
[09:20] MB: yes.
[09:20] MB: but sun composition known.
[09:21] CA: yes' but hard to reproduce at a smaller scale>
[09:22] MB: true.
[09:22] MB: oddly worded regardless.
[09:23] CA: so have we decided how we are going to play the game?
[09:23] CA: i was able to decipher a bit more of the walkthrough>
[09:24] CA: it said that players connect to each other to for a loop>
[09:25] MB: simple enough.
[09:25] MB: pair up.
[09:25] CA: yes' but how>
[09:25] CA: i assume in the order we get the game?
[09:26] MB: yes.
[09:26] MB: deviate when necessary.
[09:26] MB: avoid personal feuds.
[09:26] CA: oh>>>
[09:26] CA: right> we shouldn,t pair up kismesisses>
[09:27] MB: well.
[09:27] CA: they could kill each other>>>>
[09:27] MB: unlikely.
[09:27] CA: but possible>
[09:27] MB: everything is.
[09:28] MB: regardless.
[09:28] MB: meant non-romantic feuds.
[09:28] MB: platonic hatred.
[09:28] MB: more dangerous.
[09:28] MB: less restrained.
[09:28] CA: good point>>
[09:30] MB: so yes.
[09:30] MB: connect in pairs.
[09:30] CA: sounds like a plan>
[09:30] MB: avoids bullshit.
[09:30] CA: hm>
[09:30] MB: like six-troll loop.
[09:30] CA: six sounds like a good number>
[09:31] MB: yes.
[09:31] CA: not too big' not too small>
[09:31] MB: because breaks into pairs.
[09:31] MB: three pairs.
[09:31] CA: exactly>
[09:31] CA: so lessee>>>
[09:32] CA: you' me' lother' and three others>>>
[09:32] CA: any suggestions on additions to the party?
[09:32] MB: mallik.
[09:33] MB: bit odd.
[09:33] MB: not asshole.
[09:33] CA: kinda a flirt>
[09:33] CA: but yeah> he,s not too bad>
[09:33] MB: wonk.
[09:33] CA: heh>>>
[09:35] MB: that's it.
[09:35] MB: players exhausted.
[09:35] MB: two pairs.
[09:35] MB: shame.
[09:35] MB: very acceptable.
[09:35] CA: well' maybe we,ll find more people>
[09:35] MB: no need.
[09:35] MB: four acceptable.
[09:36] MB: success.
[09:36] CA: well' we,ll need the game to play>>> maybe you should try to procure yours from the ruins>
[09:36] CA: i.ll keep looking for mine>>>>
[09:36] MB: yes.
[09:37] MB: advisable.
[09:37] CA: talk later?
[09:37] MB: yes.
[09:37] MB: will contact mallik.
[09:37] MB: eventually.
[09:37] MB: priorities.
[09:37] CA: of course>
[09:37] MB: talk later.
[09:38] CA: see ya and good luck>
[09:38] -- mysteriousBroad
[MB] gave up trolling conductiveArtisan [CA] at 21:38 --
[09:39] CA: <?3
[09:39] -- conductiveArtisan [CA] gave up trolling mysteriousBroad
[MB] at 21:39 --
INVESTIGATING is basically all you do! You leap down the STAIRS and out of your HIVE. The source of the disturbance becomes quickly apparent; several SMASHED CRATES are dangerously close to the nearby POINTLESSLY DRAMATIC CLIFF PRECIPICE! Based on the trail of YOUR NEIGHBORS' PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCES (by which you mean SPAM MAIL) leading towards them, the crates skidded for quite a ways before coming to rest. No doubt it's the doing of your incompetent MAILTROLL! He's always speeding through here recklessly, losing packages along the way! Come to think of it, you're not sure he's ever delivered any mail at all.
>Lareth: Peer over edge of cliff.
You do so. A few letters flutter gently down on the breeze, towards the MYSTERIOUS RUINS below. It occurs to you that your copy of SGRUB was almost certainly in one of those crates. A quick RUMMAGING confirms that it is nowhere to be found up here. The evidence suggests it fell into the MYSTERIOUS RUINS.
Concerning.
>Lareth: Retrieve arms from respiteblock.
You return to your respiteblock and grab your SHITTY AIRSOFT REVOLVER! It's a piece of MERCHANDISE from one of your FAVORITE NOIR COMICS. You slip a single BB into the REVOLVER. Its cylinder has six slots for AMMUNITION, but for some reason, it never works when you load it with more than one round.
>Lareth: Investigate.
You prepare to no wait Lother is trolling you. You have a previously-posted conversation.
>Lareth: Investigate.
You've just finished cautiously descending the cliff when your SLEUTH'S E-JOURNAL beeps again! This time it's Vastar. You have another previously-posted conversation.
You decide to check Pesterchum on your MOBILE PHONE. You retrieve the device from your YAHTZEE FETCH MODUS on the SCRABBLE SETTING. MOBILE PHONE=20 Points. You roll FIVE FOURS. It appears that Noah and Clarissa are also now online.
>... About Sburb.
Of course! You move down the stairs, and prepare to dash for the mail.
With your MORNING SURVEILLANCE completed, you drag along LIL CAL as you head downstairs. You're very lucky, owning the TOWER ROOM of your home, since it gives you such a good place to view the landscape. That's probably why your MOM put you up there. She is so thoughtful you are not even mad she spends 90% of her time going off on rad adventures and leaving a minor all by his lonesome isolated from civilization by a factor of tens of miles.
But today she's going to be home! With the MAIL! And maybe even SBURB with it!
Oh, hold on a mo'.
Looks like your pal LUKE is online! Better wish a good morning and check in.
[03:09] -- horizonSeeker [HS] began pestering resoluteProgeny [RP] at 03:09 --
[03:09] HS: Luuuuuuke!
[03:09] HS: You up yet?
[03:10] RP: Noooooooah!
[03:10] RP: That I most cetainly am.
[03:10] HS: Sweet! OK, so, have you looked outside yet?
[03:10] RP: Indeed I have, and I have beheld a truly joyous sight!
[03:10] HS: And that is?
[03:11] RP: The mailbox flap thingy is up!
[03:11] HS: Marvelous!
[03:11] HS: I have been keeping a lookout from my usual spot, and I've reeeeally gotta say, today is looking amazing!
[03:11] HS: The sun is out, the temperature is perfect, and I am pretty sure Mom's coming home with the mail today!
[03:12] RP: I'll certainly agree with you on that part; it's a beautiful day out there.
[03:12] HS: A beautiful day for
[03:12] RP: Excellent timing!
[03:12] HS: Say it with me now!!!
[03:12] HS: ADVENTURE!
[03:12] RP: Magic!
[03:12] RP: Oh.
[03:12] RP: Well.
[03:12] HS: Aaaaaw!
[03:12] RP: This is awkward.
[03:12] HS: We never get that one right!
[03:12] RP: That we do not.
[03:13] HS: Well, no sweat, we've still got all this amazing stuff unfolding before us!
[03:13] RP: You always say, "ADVENTURE," or "EXPLORATION", or something.
[03:13] RP: That we do, differing thought processes aside.
[03:13] HS: Very much so! So you think your copy of Sburb has come in today?
[03:13] RP: I don't suppose you've heard anything new about the game, have you?
[03:14] HS: No, I haven't!!! Only that GameBro review!
[03:14] RP: Well, I would presume that the upright nature of the mailbox flap thingy indicates the game's arrival. At least, I hope it does!
[03:15] RP: Yeah, seems like they're the only ones with any info.
[03:15] RP: Sigh... So disappointing.
[03:15] HS: Perhaps, but it's not so bad! Today is the day it's supposed to be coming, right? So we'll get a good look at it ourselves!
[03:15] HS: Oh shit!
[03:15] HS: I just remembered!
[03:15] RP: What?
[03:15] HS: It's Amber's birthday, isn't it?!
[03:16] RP: Yes, that's right.
[03:16] RP: Had a lovely chat with her half an hour ago; she sounds like she's having a good day thus far.
[03:16] HS: Lucky girl, her birthday and the release of the most astounding adventure to ever grace the virtual screen all in one day!
[03:16] HS: Except Monkey Island of course!
[03:16] HS: Nobody but nobody beats Monkey Island!!!
[03:17] RP: Monkey Island? I think you mean Skyrim.
[03:17] RP: Because nothing beats Skyrim. Ever.
[03:17] HS: I scoff at Skyrim! It got itself too bogged down in its overly-complicated "combat" at the cost of good storytelling and adventure!
[03:18] RP: Storyte... Have you not yet experienced the world of magic and legends that Skyrim contains?!
[03:18] HS: I've read about it! But I never experienced it!
[03:18] RP: The miles of open landscape, each town and village with its own mythos and story.
[03:18] HS: None of which you can take part in and impact!
[03:19] RP: The numerous factions fighting for control, their motives and inspirations moving and meaningful.
[03:19] RP: The ancient lore of the dragons, and the very founding of the world!
[03:19] HS: The dragons are a scoundrelish ripoff of the worst caliber!
[03:19] RP: How does some point-and-click game from twenty years ago beat that?
[03:20] HS: I was promised thrilling, skin-of-my teeth combat, and I got clicking a mouse button for two minutes, and then chasing a fleeing pansy across twenty miles of landscape!
[03:20] HS: If clicking the mouse is all I'm doing, might as well have every click impact the world and story!
[03:20] HS: Therefore, Monkey Island!
[03:20] RP: Therefore, shut up.
[03:21] HS: Come on, admit it, you're completely jealous of how superior my old games are!
[03:21] RP: I refuse to even acknowledge such an absurd notion.
[03:21] HS: Your loss!
[03:22] RP: ...We're getting somewhat off track, aren't we?
[03:23] RP: Regardless of other video games, yes, today is Amber's birthday. Did you get her anything?
[03:23] HS: Actually, yeah, I did!
[03:23] RP: It's not one of your horrifying puppets, is it?
[03:24] HS: Would you please stop ripping on Cal? He's right here, and he's really sensitve to people making fun of him like that!
[03:24] HS: Today was the first time in weeks he's laughed, and now he's stopped laughing!
[03:24] HS: You jerk!
[03:24] RP: Would you like me to apologize to the abomination?
[03:24] HS: I would like you to apologize to LIL CAL, yes!
[03:25] RP: Too bad; not gonna happen.
[03:25] RP: How does that thing not terrify the shit out of you?
[03:26] HS: Are you nuts? Cal is, like, the coolest thing ever!
[03:26] HS: He is the best adventuring partner you could ever ask for!
[03:27] RP: Riiiiiiiiight. I don't believe you.
[03:28] HS: !!! You're just jealous!
[03:28] RP: Sure, let's go with that.
[03:28] HS: OK, so, anyways, if you're done bashing my awesome puppet bro, do you want to hear about the gift or not?
[03:29] RP: Actually, yeah; knowing you it's bound to be something mysterious and awesome! What'd you get her?
[03:30] HS: OK, so, you remember a couple months ago that old abandoned laboratory I was telling you all about up in the mountains?
[03:30] RP: Vaguely. The one with all the weird computers that had messed up monitors?
[03:32] HS: Yeah! The one with all the weird green circles!
[03:32] RP: What about it?
[03:33] HS: Me and Cal went back about 3 weeks ago to go exploring it again, and in this one part, Cal pulled this lever and opened up a whole new level we never even knew about!
[03:33] RP: Wait, a secret passage? Sweet!
[03:34] HS: Right, so we went down the passage, and there was this big room with a big computer and all these tubes inside and!!! well, do you think she likes dogs?
[03:35] RP: Wait, what? You found a dog in an undeground labratory?
[03:35] HS: Sooooort of!
[03:38] HS: It's not exactly, well, a dog like you'd think!
[03:38] RP: Wow, sounds interesting.
[03:38] HS: I thought so! I can't really take care of any pets around here, 'cause there's not much food for animals!
[03:38] HS: So I thought she might like it!
[03:39] RP: Huh. That's actually a pretty neat present!
[03:39] RP: Assuming that the dog isn't some kind of mutant or monster, or whatever.
[03:40] HS: I am absolutely certain it is not a monster!
[03:40] RP: Well, then it should be a great gift! Nice.
[03:41] HS: Thanks! I just hope she opens it before she starts playing!!! I only gave it enough food for three weeks in the box!
[03:41] RP: Wait... how long does shipping from your place usually take?
[03:41] HS: I honestly don't know!
[03:41] HS: My Mom just takes all the mail when she goes on her voyages!
[03:41] RP: Okay...
[03:42] RP: Well, alrighty then. Here's hoping that works out for her.
[03:43] RP: Man, my gift seems kind of lame in comparison; maybe I should have sprung for something with a bit more swag.
[03:43] HS: Yeah! So, everybody's taking part in this, right?
[03:44] RP: Sounds like it, yeah. Obviously the two of us, Amber, Isaac said he's joining in.
[03:44] RP: Haven't heard from AA, but Amber said she was taking part too.
[03:44] RP: So... yeah!
[03:45] HS: Absolutely awesome!
[03:45] RP: And how!
[03:46] RP: Well, today should be a fun one then.
[03:46] RP: I guess the next thing we really need to do is actually get the game set up.
[03:47] HS: Sounds good! First thing is probably getting those games, so since I know most of you tend to use computers for pesterchum I'll let you get off it and go grab your mail!
[03:48] RP: Yeah, I really do need to get a handheld computing device. It'd make things much simpler when gallivanting about the house.
[03:48] RP: Alright, I'm off then! Wish me luck on my (Together now)...
[03:48] RP: ADVENTURE!
[03:48] HS: MAGIC!
[03:48] HS: Damn it!
[03:48] RP: Come on!
[03:49] HS: Sorry!!!
[03:49] RP: Alright, later Noah.
[03:49] HS: Talk to you soon!
[03:49] -- resoluteProgeny [RP] ceased pestering horizonSeeker [HS] at 03:49 --
Well, that was fun. Sometimes LUKE gets on your nerves a little bit; I mean, seriously, how chipper can you be? Take a CHILL PILL, bro! But you don't hold it against him. You continue down another flight of stairs towards the KITCHEN to find it...
EMPTY. Darn. You were really hoping she was home. But you guess it'll be another hour or two. In the meantime, you consider your options. You should probably wish AMBER a HAPPY BIRTHDAY while you can. They'll probably all be caught playing Sburb soon.
No can do bub. The Birthday Girl is currently not representable in any visual manner because the artist is a lazy sack of shit who can't draw to save his life.
But hey, no harm no foul, right?
>Enter Name
She already has a name, numbnuts! Amber, currently resting in her ROOM after a tiring bout of CONTINUOUS SLEEP. Rest is pivotal after a night of sleep, it being a strenuous affair. Truely.
>Amber: Look around?
Thank you, you will.
You are currently standing in the CHAMBER DESIGNATED YOUR "ROOM". It's a giant chamber, this being a common thing in the CASTLE YOU CALL HOME. Because of this, and the fact that you're on top of a giant fuckoff MOUNTAIN makes it very chilly inside. You have dressed appropriately. The FLUFFY RUG underneath your feet kind of makes it all BETTER though. Looking around, you see something amiss from the normal SOBER AND CLASSY edecor of SUITS OF ARMOUR, PAINTINGS OF DEAD PEOPLE and STATUES AND BUSTS OF ETHEREAL AND MONSTEROUS CREATURES. They've all been showered in BIRTHDAY DECORATIONS!
>Amber: Behold
You behold the shit out of all of the things! FLAGS, BALLOONS, THOSE PAPER TWIRLY THINGS, they're all there. And on your desk is a small ORANGE PACKAGE with a note on it.
>Amber: Read note
<spoiler=AMBER>Dear,
Happy birthday. I hope you find the decorations to your liking.
Today will be a momentous day. I hope you will enjoy it.
Love,
Mum
You open the orange package and reach for the insides after CAREFULLY folding the note and placing it on your desk. Inside the package is a set of CLASSY DRESS-GLOVES in black. Very classy mum. You put them back in the box.
>Amber: Have conversation with rP
==>
>Amber: Have conversation with cJ ==>==>==========>
>Amber: Retrieve possible presents/birthday confectionaries!
Yes! You will do so! You sprint across the length of your room and down a corridor, and subsequently, down a flight of stairs. You note that the BIRTHDAY DECORATIONS spread across the entirety of the castle! How droll!
You end up in the COMMUNAL ROOM, in which normally everyone present in the castle should be if they're not working or doing something. Right now it was empty, save for the giant pile of mail in the middle of a table. Packages and envelopes of different colours are there, and you sit down on the table, legs crossed and immediately begin prying out your PRESENTS.
You got ONE (1) COPY OF "Ruler of the circular obj..."(s) !
You got ONE (1) PRESENT FROM CLARISSA(s) !
You got TWO (2) UNOPENED PACKAGE(s) !
You got ONE(1) MYSTERIOUS AND BARKING PACKAGE(s) !
...wat
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>[03:19] -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] began pestering horizonSeeker [HS] at 03:19 --
[03:19] UA: Noah
[03:19] UA: i love you for getting me a present and all that
[03:19] UA: but do I want to open the wild and barking box?
[03:20] UA: should I like get some kind of protection device?
[03:20] HS: Ambeeeeer!
[03:20] HS: Happy birthday!
[03:20] UA: thank you
[03:20] HS: I was seriously just meaning to message you!
[03:21] HS: How's your big day coming along?
[03:21] HS: You know, finally entering the magical, hormone-riddled world of teenagerdom and all!
[03:21] UA: oh ew don't be gross xD
[03:22] UA: but yeah, castle's covered with decorations, presents galore and cake in every corner
[03:22] UA: today has been pretty swell!
[03:22] HS: We allll have to go through it; you're just, you know, the lucky one who got to go last--
[03:22] HS: But anyways yeah that is awesome!
[03:22] UA: But about the mystery box...
[03:23] HS: Mystery box? There is no mystery! I am quite certain I have no idea what you are referring to, young miss!!!
[03:23] UA: it is quite the mystery for me good sir! perhaps one with as certain a grasp on adventures and puzzles can do some sleuthing with this problem of mine?
[03:24] HS: Well, I mean, I suppose I could do that! But the thing about solving mysteries is, the mystery is GONE when you're done!
[03:24] HS: And who would I be to rob a little girl of a marvelous mystery on, you know, her 13th birthday and all?
[03:24] UA: i don't wanna die on my birthday D:
[03:25] HS: Pleeeease, Amber, don't be ridiculous! Nobody is going to die today; seriously, what kind of outrageous circumstances could even lead up to something like that?
[03:26] UA: a creature inside a box mailed to a girl in a romanian castle in the middle of nowhere? sounds like a classic b-film pitch to me!
[03:26] HS: Hey! I don't know what Isaac told you, but I have perfectly reasonable tastes in cinema! No B-movies here; the box is TOTALLY safe!
[03:27] HS: It's just your present!
[03:27] UA: ok gonna open it then.
[03:27] HS: Which I got while exploring the hidden, dank, underground levels of the abandoned laboratory in the remote mountains by my house!
>Amber: Carefully open the package
You tear into the paper with wild abandon. Out of it springs a small being with shaggy, black hairs, a wet nose and a perpetual breathing noise.
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>
[03:28] UA: ladsblhaalskjflajfasdlfja
[03:28] UA: A DOGGY DDDD
[03:28] UA: ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME
[03:28] UA: THANK YOU NOAH
[03:28] HS: See, I knew you'd love it!
[03:29] UA: This is totally the BEST THING EVER.
[03:29] UA: though
[03:29] UA: what is up with the second set of eyes?
[03:30] HS: I TOLD you!
[03:30] HS: Me and Cal found him up in that old abandoned laboratory I was telling you and all the others about!
[03:31] UA: so what you're saying is
[03:31] HS: We went up a second time a few weeks ago, and, well, Cal found this lever--
[03:31] UA: cal found the lever?
[03:31] HS: Yeah! He's reallllly good at dungeon delving!
[03:32] UA: mmmh! I bet!
[03:32] HS: But anyways, yeah, the lever opened up this whole new level of the lab we'd never found before; and inside by a big computer and a bunch of tubes was that little guy!
[03:33] UA: must be a labradog.
[03:33] HS: Uuuuuuuugh!
[03:33] UA:
[03:33] HS: Why would you even say something like that?
[03:33] UA: because!
[03:35] UA: but seriously, thank you. totally didn't expect it
[03:35] HS: Totally glad to hear you like it! Oh, hey, have you gotten your copy of Sburb yet? The OTHER big event of the day!
[03:36] UA: i think so!
[03:36] UA: there's a few packages I haven't opened yet
[03:36] UA: it is bound to be in one of those!
[03:37] HS: Lucky you! My mom still hasn't come home yet, so no mail!!!
[03:38] UA: aw too bad
[03:38] UA: looking forward to it?
[03:38] HS: Without even the slightest doubt! People keep saying it's just gonna be like The Sims, though, and that kind of worries me!
[03:39] UA: yeah I heard it was something like that. though i've heard others say that it's action-adventure?
[03:40] UA: bluh i dunno.
[03:40] HS: That's what I'M hoping for anyways! An adventure of this magnitude can't be passed up, no way no how!
[03:40] UA: I'm just glad everyone's playing!
[03:41] HS: Brings up a question I'm kinda having, though: how do we play a game like this multiplayer?
[03:41] UA: i dunno \0/
[03:42] UA: i don't even know what kind of game it is
[03:42] HS: *sigh* Seems like nobody does!
[03:42] UA: though i don't think this was the full game, was it?
[03:42] UA: what was it again, alpha, beta? something like that, right?
[03:43] HS: Oh who the hell even cares?
[03:43] HS: So long as we get to play I'm not really concerned with that!
[03:43] UA: xD okay
[03:45] HS: So have you opened any of your other presents yet?
[03:45] UA: a few yeah!
[03:45] UA: Luke got me this neat book, title goes on for a few pages
[03:46] HS: That sounds odd and pointlessly complicated--
[03:46] UA: "Ruler of the circular object that holds great significance, it being part of a set of...yadayadayada"
[03:46] HS: A!K!A! Luke!
[03:46] UA: osnap xD
[03:46] UA: looks really old though. he said it held great personal value! so that was sweet of him.
[03:47] HS: That is pretty sweet, yeah!
[03:47] HS: Oooooh hold on!
[03:47] UA: holding on yessir
[03:47] HS: Hmmmmm I think I see somebody outside my window!
[03:47] UA: o: could that be your mum?
[03:47] HS: It might be! And if it is that means Sburb!
[03:48] UA: get your behind OUT THERE THIS INSTANT MISTER
[03:48] HS: I think I'd better go and check; I'll talk to you later, ok?
[03:48] UA: Will do
[03:48] UA: see ya noah! <3
[03:48] -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] ceased pestering horizonSeeker [HS] at 03:48 --
Amber: Seek implements for opening of unwielding packages
You decide to head up to your room to retrieve a pair of scissors. CHERNABOG happily trots after you.
Upstairs, you find the pair of scissors, and you decide to use SCISSORS on C'S PRESENT. You quickly sketch these objects into your DOODLECARDS and you end up with ONE (1) OPENED C'S PRESENT(s).
In it are two of the most awesome technological devices known to man.
Atomic
Drumsticks
<spoiler=Show Pesterlog>[10:42] -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] began pestering arduousArtificer [AA] at 22:42 --
[10:42] UA: C!
[10:42] UA: Thank youu <3
[10:43] AA: Ah, Amber! I take it you got the delivery?
[10:43] UA: I so totally did!
[10:43] UA: And it was awesome
[10:43] AA: It didn't end up on the roof, did it? Or in a wall? That tech is still... buggy
[10:44] UA: Precisely on the mailpile of today
[10:44] UA: But I thought your present to me was you playing with us :?
[10:44] AA: ... you were serious about that?
[10:45] UA: o: you thought I wasn't?
[10:45] AA: I just kinda thought it was one of your little jokes since you were yelling about it for a while.
[10:45] AA: And then suddenly something else caught your attention and you wandered off to another topic
[10:45] UA: Well
[10:45] UA: That is WHAT I DO
[10:46] UA: But I totally want you to play with us :I
[10:46] UA: even if I have to deapparify these sticks in order for YOU TO DO IT
[10:47] AA: Eh... is that what you really want then?
[10:47] UA: yesss
[10:47] AA: Bah, and I wouldn't do that. You know we don't do returns.
[10:47] AA: So even if those babies go nuclear and blow you to kingdom come it wouldnt be our problem!
[10:47] UA: xD Yeah, you just don't accept them because you know they'll go boom at one point.
[10:48] AA: Thats just speculation on your end
[10:49] AA: But... if you really want me to join your shitty little excursion, I guess I have no choice, do I?
[10:49] UA: You totally do though o:
[10:49] UA: I'd appreciate it if you did though. Just guys, it'd be no fun
[10:50] AA: You say that, but my other option is to say no and then know that for the next 40-50 minutes you'd be making sad faces at the computer like I punted your puppy into traffic
[10:50] UA: I can feel the drooping coming
[10:50] UA:
[10:50] UA: oh boy there it is
[10:50] UA:
[10:50] AA: No. You undroop that right now.
[10:51] UA:
[10:51] AA: Stop that. Flip the drooping by about 180 degrees.
[10:51] UA: ):
[10:52] AA: ... well, I walked into that one.
[10:52] AA: Fine, fine.
[10:52] UA:
[10:53] AA: Since I can't leave you with those fucking Jackals, I may as well tag along.
[10:53] UA: Hey now
[10:53] UA: They're not that bad!
[10:53] AA: Just gotta find that disc again... I was using it as a coaster for a while.
[10:53] UA: And Sburb is MASSES OF FUN
[10:53] UA: i think
[10:53] AA: Oh. Is That So?
[10:53] AA: Ah, that's omre like it.
[10:54] AA: And it's not like I have much else to do, though. My sisters got the main workshop closed off for a big order
[10:55] AA: One of the ones I'm not needed for, it seems. Given by how the place has been sealed up tighter than Fort Knox
[10:55] UA: So how did you use her apperifier then? :0
[10:56] AA: I said it was locked up, not impossible to enter. I got my ways
[10:56] AA: THough I wasn't in long enough to see what was going on... had to wait until she started rivetting sos he wouldn't notice me
[10:57] UA: Oh ok
[10:57] AA: Honestly, why she keeps HALF of this shit to herself is beyond me...
[10:58] AA: Though trying to pick some sense out of that situation would be like trying to untie the gordian knot blindfolded, upside down and underwater
[10:59] UA: that sounds unpleasant
[10:59] AA: But fine, I'll hunt down the damn disc, stick it into the computer and join you all for frivolity and fun. Does that work for you, Princess?
[11:00] UA: Very much so, heir
[11:00] AA: ... heir?
[11:01] UA: I dunno \0/
[11:02] UA: Seemed appropriate
[11:02] AA: Rrriiiiight... PERFECT sense
[11:03] AA: SO. I guess I'll be seeing you when I get that fucking thing working, eh?
[11:04] AA: Oh wait... that reminds me. I wanted ot ask this earlier
[11:04] UA: oh?
[11:05] AA: Seeing as it's your birthday, what did your, to be honestly candid for a moment, vlad-esque mother do in your strange Romanian homestead to celebrate this occaison?
[11:05] AA: Don't tell me she hunted down some peasants to impale on the ramparts to liven things up, did she?
[11:06] UA: She actually filled the entire castle with decorations!
[11:06] UA: Like, actual colourful decorations
[11:06] UA: flags and baloons and confetti and stuff
[11:06] AA: ... wow. Not one torture device or screaming gargoyle to be found?
[11:07] UA: Kind of hidden behind the colour and stuff
[11:07] AA: Ah, nothing says celebration like an Iron Maiden with a party hat on, does it?
[11:07] UA: Totally xD
[11:08] AA: Yeah, that place still sounds as freakish as the prior details I've heard.
[11:09] AA: It's almost a wonder about how chipper you are given how you live on the set of some bombastic horror movie set 24\7
[11:11] UA: Well if I wouldn't I would be my mum wouldn't I
[11:13] AA: Urgh... I just had to choke back a bit of bile there.
[11:13] AA: That's just several kinds of wrong, girl. Don't even joke about that.
[11:14] AA: Guh... last thing we need is Romania becoming the supervillain capital of the world between just you two
[11:15] UA: My unstoppable cheer is the only thing holding back my unrelenting capacity for evil! >
[11:15] AA: It's always the hyper ones, isn't it?
[11:16] UA: I guess?
[11:17] AA: Well, that's enough disturbing little chit-chat. I'll cut you loose now and we can catch up later.
[11:17] UA: Ok C. Thanks again for the present!
[11:18] UA: see ya <3
[11:18] -- unsolvedAnomalies [UA] ceased pestering arduousArtificer [AA] at 23:18 --
You decide to look through the other unopened packages, to look for the SBURB DISK.
>Luke: Finish being pestered by Noah. Man, that Noah guy, what with his crazy adventures and need to put exclamation points at the end of every sentence. You mean, he's certainly fun and all, but talk about overtly peppiness. Honestly, that guy just needs to talk a minute and calm down sometimes, lest he explode with cheeriness.
Also, you're totally going to call bullshit on that dog not being a mutant or monster or something. You do not just find perfectly ordinary animals in a secret room in an abandoned laboratory; there's gotta be something wrong with it. Best guess, as of now, is that it probably has a fifth leg, or two tails or something along those lines.
Still, considering that Amber seems to enjoy crazy, weird stuff like that, she'll probably love the adorable little thing. Really, that's why you went ahead and sent her your old of copy of...
Ruler of the circular object that holds great significance, it being part of a set of other circular objects forged to look similar in appearance; however this particular circular object is in possession of much more power than its brethren, with abilities that are likely dark and disturbing in nature, possibly capable of corrupting the soul of a pure-hearted bearer, but certainly capable of bestowing great might and strength unto its bearer. Said circular object, which in its long and bloody history has been carried by a dark lord, a foolish usurper, and a creature of split minds and strange habits, has recently fallen into the hands of a rather diminutive fellow, a jadeblood whose lusus has only recently died. This lowblood has been tasked with taking the circular object back to the volcano in which it was forged, in order that he might destroy it, and the dark powers that it contains.
As he embarks upon this perilous journey, he will find many allies and foes that litter his path, lowbloods, highbloods, lusui, and many other species as well. However, the other important characters that will be joining him on his quest are numerous and diverse, leading to much derision and betrayal within their ranks. Initially, the jadeblood will only be accompanied by a trio of his own blood caste, all who share his unfortunate vertical challenge. Firstly is the protagonist?s morail, a fellow of great loyalty and devotion, but who is somewhat lacking in physical might or sharp wits. Nevertheless, he will prove to be a priceless companion along the way, serving as an emotional and at times physical support of circular-object bearer, helping to assuage his morail of the dark feelings the circular object inflicts on him, and serving as a combination cook and luggage-beast along the way.
The other two jadebloods, however, serve as more the comedic duo, their silly comments and lighthearted nature providing amusement and levity in an otherwise bleak and serious setting. Their relationship is difficult to describe; though it typically retains red shading, it tends to oscillate between morailligence and matspritship. Still, in spite of their somewhat prevalent failings, they do manage to accomplish a few great things, such as gaining the aid of a small army of tree-spirits and being prominent players in the battle for one of Middle-Alternia?s great cities.
The story is set in Middle-Alternia, a world not unlike our own several thousand years ago, a land divided amongst warring Seadwellers, rebellious lowbloods, and trolls that have fallen under the sway of a dark Angel, their minds and bodies warped into something unnatural. As our tale begins, the four jadebloods are residing in one of the last corners of the world that possesses some semblance of peace, leading their lives without knowledge of the warfare that tears the rest of the world asunder. Unaware, that is, until the fifth member of their group arrives with grave tidings.
Upon being told by their astonishingly old, psychically gifted redblood ally about the true nature of the mysterious circular object, how it was forged by a dark Angel thousands of years ago, in order that the being might bring the entirety of Middle-Alternia under its control, the four jadebloods embark on their great quest. Their destination: Mount Dread, the place of the circular object's forging, and the sole location where it can be destroyed.
Along the way, the four jadebloods encounter their first major enemies, a group of nine highbloods who have fallen under the Angel's sway. Clad in pitch-black robes and riding terrible hoof-beasts across the land, the Riders prove themselves a fearsome foe, nearly slaying the protagonist a number of times. However, our heroes also manage to encounter their next companion, a Seadweller who has exiled himself from his rightful kingdom, and now walks the surface seeking his purpose in life. Using his ingenious tactics and remarkable swordsmanship, the Seadweller is able to defend the protagonist and his burden, safely escorting the group to a meeting place, a council composed of representatives from all across Middle-Alternia. Among them are a pair of powerful lowbloods, one with unprecedented agility and eyesight, the other with immense brute-strength and fortitude. There is also another Seadweller, though his blood is a caste below that of the self-exiled swordsman.
Left with no other options, due to their mutual distrust and the Angel?s slowly returning power, the group forms an alliance, with the sole purpose of escorting the protagonist and the circular object to Mount Dread.
As they journey, the fellowship find themselves facing unimaginable odds, as the Angel's forces and minions attempt to slay them, and reclaim the circular object for their master. In no particular order, they encounter another powerful lowblood, bent on twisting the circular object to his whims, groups of highbloods and trunk-beasts that willfully serve the Angel, and the massive horde of corrupted trolls that the Angel has accrued over the past few thousand sweeps. However, considering that these are the main characters, it should come as no surprise that they triumph, despite the overwhelming forces standing against them.
That?s not to say, however, that they encounter no difficulties. Their party is split, members are slain, and only some are resurrected. What?s more, as the protagonist and his morail venture forth on their own, they are followed and eventually guided by one of the circular object's previous owners, a strange creature who may have once been a troll, and the circular object begins to exert its dark machinations over both its current and previous bearers.
After a series of truly thrilling adventures and escapades, the stage for the climactic battle is set. The forces of Middle-Alternia stand united against those of the Angel, while the protagonist and his morail, betrayed by their guide, venture into the heart of Mount Dread. The once-exiled Seadweller, who now acknowledges his rightful place as Emperor of Middle-Alternia, leads all of his allies and subjects into the last battle, doing all he can to buy time for the protagonist.
Without revealing too much information, it is suffice to say that there is an unforeseen betrayal wherein a character once thought trustworthy is revealed to be less than trustworthy, vascular-pumping organfelt speeches are delivered, and the circular object is ultimately destroyed, and the Angel destroyed once and for all.
Middle-Alternia rejoices as its enemy is slain, his forces defeated. In the epilogue, it is revealed that the Seadweller unites the warring highbloods, forming a massive nation that spans the globe, that the lowbloods each become captains of their respective military battalions, and that the jadebloods return to their peaceful home. There, they encounter the Angel's sole remaining lackey, who still possesses a fraction of his master's once great horde. However, after a dramatic face-off, the lackey is ultimately killed, and the protagonist and his morail and their allies settle down to an uneventful existence, the protagonist continuously tormented by the lingering effects of the circular object upon his once innocent soul. Eventually, he is culled by the Imperial Drones, to put him out of his suffering.
Oh, and it should probably be mentioned that they're WALKING for the entirety of this story. No flying, no riding around on the backs of some giant lusui, just straight up walking. They walk for about one and half sweeps, all told. It's a looooooong trip.
Granted, the title may be annoying long, the plot and overarching themes bleak and depressing, and the setting a dark and dystopian realm, but it's still your favorite book of all time! Even though you didn't understand half the words, it was the story that your GRANDPA taught you to read by, the first portal into another world that you were enthralled by. In fact, it's probably the driving force behind your obsession with the fantasy genre, considering how many times you forced your guardian to read it to you when you were a kid.
Sure, there's no denying that the world of Middle-Alternia is a pretty grimdark realm, but that doesn't make it any less engaging! Populated by an apparently humanoid race, split into social castes based on the color of their blood, and full of all kinds of amazing, albeit dangerous, creatures, it's a place unlike anything else you've ever heard of, unique in the innumerable settings that seem to exist in your preferred genre. No matter how hard you've searched, you've never been able to find a reference to it in any other book or series. You even tried to track down the publisher once, to try and figure out who exactly wrote the book, but the book lists its printing location as somewhere called Surrogia. Needless to say, your quest was unsuccessful.
Still, you loved what was apparently the sole copy of ...that book with all your heart! When you couldn't think of anything else to get for Amber, it seemed to be the obvious answer; the only truly unique, meaningful thing you had to offer. You really do hope she ends up giving it a read at some point. After you all give Sburb a run-through that is.
>Luke:Mailbox flap thingy = UP! Stop gushing, and go check that stuff out! Oh, right, that.
With an eagerness you can barely contain, you dash out of your room, scurrying down the hallway and the two flights of stairs that lead to the ground floor. Adroitly, you maneuver through the mess that makes up most of the DINING and LIVING ROOMS, anomalous piles of what might either be priceless treasures or worthless junk; you're not really sure which. Your GRANDPA isn't exactly the neatest guy around, but if he keeps something, odds are it's for a good reason.
Having traversed the rooms between the stairs and the front door without incident, you hurriedly swing the door open, step outside, and... stop, for a moment.
The suburbia that surrounds your home is deserted; not a soul besides yourself seems to walk these streets. The light breeze moans as it whistles between the wooden domiciles, like the sigh of an ethereal giant, or the whisper of a forgotten dream. Naturally, you recognize it for what it truly is. It's the solitary note that precedes an imminent dissolution, an unforeseen sundering of all that you know.
Today is not your fifteenth birthday, but like those fifteen anniversaries, you feel some kind of void in your life, a hole which has yet to be filled. Some hereunto unknown force is reaching out to you, telling you to grab its hand and to follow it into the foreign future. Perhaps it is Destiny. Perhaps it is God. Perhaps it is the CIA, attempting to control your mind with one of its secret experiments. Regardless of the originator of the sensation, the simple fact of its existence remains unchanged.
"An example is often a deceptive mirror, and the order of destiny, so troubling to our thoughts, is not always found written in things past." -C.S. Lewis
You have a feeling that it's going to be a long day.
Woah. I clicked this thread to see what the title meant. After reading the contents of the OP and the subsequent replies, I have even less of an idea what this is about. Are we... just randomly making things up? I R CONFUSED
Woah. I clicked this thread to see what the title meant. After reading the contents of the OP and the subsequent replies, I have even less of an idea what this is about. Are we... just randomly making things up? I R CONFUSED
Sessionless is a Homestuck Sburb/Sgrub style RP. Players who wanted to take part had to express interest and submit a character sheet for a place. All places have been claimed and the RP is currently in session.
See this thread [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/540.368147-Sessionless-A-HomeStuck-Sburb-Sgrub-RP-Sign-Up-Thread] if you want a little more detail about the RP.
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