Shoot People in the Face in Close Range

[John Funk]

Shoot People in the Face in Close Range

Storylines, and characters only get in the way of what truly makes a great game: Shooting people in the face. Satirical news source The Onion reports on <a href="http://www.closerangegame.com/
">Close Range, a new game that seeks to remedy this situation.

[onionvideo image="http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/POINT_BLANK_article.jpg" id="94295" title="Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face"]

"Just like great literature or film transports you to different worlds, Close Range transports you to a world where you fire bullets into an endless stream of faces." I was going to say something along the lines of "You can't make this stuff up, folks," but uh... apparently, you can. If you're The Onion, anyway.

All in all, the news report is - as expected - devilishly clever satire on an industry and culture that can seem oddly centered around violence and mayhem at times. Not that there's anything wrong with that [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/endosgame/5927-Sex-and-Violence-Welcome-to-Adulthood], of course.

Here's the real question: If you didn't know that The Onion was a comedy news network (and I hadn't told you), would you have believed that Close Range might be an actual game - that it could actually exist?

(Via Joystiq [http://www.joystiq.com/2009/04/07/close-range-a-game-about-shooting-people-in-the-face/])

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[Pipotchi]

I love The Onion. It amuses me how a comedy website can afford producing it's material so professionaly.

This its just so slick its easy to forget its all fake. Plus proof if proof be needed that America can do irony and satire as well as anywhere else

 

[Ophiuchus]

Sold. Better get one for my brother too.

Those guys are always first with the big stories... one might even say they know their onions.




...I'll get my coat.

 

[Rascarin]

"And now, a cure for crying children; smothering."

Epic.

 

[Ranooth]

My god that was awesome!

Hidden animal mode, that's just pure genius!

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

So wait... Fallout 3?

Sometimes it feels like "Shooting People in the Face, at Close Range"

 

[fix-the-spade]

Given that a game about being a rapist already exists, yes, this concept is entirely believable.

 

[PedroSteckecilo]

Given that a game about being a rapist already exists, yes, this concept is entirely believable.

What's worse ISN'T that A GAME about being a rapist exists, it's that SEVERAL games about being a rapist exist... thankfully only in Japan. Unless you count Custers Revenge.

 

[The_root_of_all_evil]

I'm actually quite taken with Krod Mundoon and the flaming sword of fire....

 

[ElephantGuts]

I also love The Onion. And I could believe this game actually existing. Probably wouldn't be very happy about it though. More fodder for game haters.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

"Up next, a new cure for crying children: smothering."

 

[Avatar Roku]

"And now, a cure for crying children; smothering."

Epic.

Smothering your children solves all of your problems forever.
Theirs too!

Also, I want this game.
Liek nao.
Plz.

Shooting an emu?
Where can you go wrong!

Shhh! Don't say that where Flying Emu can hear you, you'll hurt his feelings!

 

[Nova Tendril]

This is what you get when you do satire the right way.

 

[Littaly]

I'd say The Onion hit the head of the nail.

And no, I wouldn't mistake it for real ^^

 

[Dangernick42]

Hey, if the game came out, I'd at least try the demo...

Will shotguns at point blank ever get old?

 

[Frizzle]

My first response to this was "holy crap that's awesome!".
My second response was "Of all the animals in the world, who would shoot a horse in the face?". I mean, a cat, or an ostrich, or a llama... but a horse? They're such peaceful creatures....

I am also interested in Krod Mundoon and the Flaming Sword of Fire.... I do kinda wonder how people were being shot in the anussessssss. Isn't it set before gunpowder?

 

[SenseOfTumour]

Can someone send this to PETA, I want to watch them campaign against the 'horrific slaughter of animals'.

Who thinks they'll just run with it with zero research?