Short stories in a foreign language - Help required

[TheIronRuler]

*Warning, wall of text in front of you. Jump to the sign -_- to skip the exposition*

I'm currently trying to write a few short stories in English and it is rather difficult for me since it is not my native language. It is much more difficult because I did not learn English via literature but instead I had magazines, video games and forum boards such as these.

**Before you ask* I am writing them to enhance my general writing skills, furthermore my language is rather limited in words, therefore I can't express the surroundings or emotions of characters in my native language as well as I can in English. It's also a great way to enhance my language skills*

As I am writing these short stories I occaisionally stop because I can't find an appropriate word or phrase, though usually it's because I have used the same word or phrase too many times (You can't have the word "says" ten times in the same paragrath). My vocabulary is lacking, but It seems that video games made my attention span shorter than before, therefore it'd take an interesting novel to catch my attention.

I've started writing short stories in the intent to use them afterwards as "origins" stories for the same universe. I plan for it to be large with various examples of government types (excluding democracy and its variants) and believes, in a setting of a Fantasy. In such a fantasy magic is rare and various "humanoids" are either foreigners from distant lands with differant climates (Black people from africa aren't very similar to Eurpoeans, are they?)or freaks of nature. I am also steering towards a "Dark" fantasy, though it would be difficult to execute properly without making it too grim or not enough gory.

I've started a story in first person present time to make the readers feel more connected to the female character that takes revenge for a relative in the end of the story. It is rather difficult, but I'm barely making it interesting enough and with enough varying words and phrases so it won't be too bland. I'll write most of these short tales in third person, maybe a few in second with a bit of intentional exaggerations.

-_-
After the exposition is over, I need to ask you :
-Where could I have my short stories reviewd and perhaps edited?
-Is there any advice for me?
-Where can I research and find reliable information? I require it to write effeciently about knights and senators alike.
-Are there any programs that can help writers in matters of grammer? These mistakes sometimes become invisible or hard to detect.
-I plan on using familiar nouns and names that bring a connotation to something else entirely than what I intend it to be ("Crows" actually acting like crows, Knights actually being medieval knights and so on) - would it make some of the stories harder for the reader to understand?
-Should taboo subjects be dealt with and if so, how should they be researched?
This is it for now.
I thank you for your time.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

1. Google searches will find you lots of places people can look at your stories and give you feedback. Try starting at www.nanowrimo.org (meant for novels, but people there can direct you to good short story sites).

2. Keep at it. One note based on what you mentioned, don't worry too much about using words a lot. If someone "said" something, he "said" it. Unless it's important to disclose that he "yelled" it, "murmured" it, etc, just stick with "said".

3. Wikipedia can give you a good jumping off point for research. Other than that, I suggest books and other physical materials, as they tend to be more trustworthy than internet sites.

4. MS Word isn't too bad. Grammar is something that computers have a hard time with.

5. Feels uninteresting to me. People will grasp it without you beating them over the head with it if you write it well.

6. If the taboo subject actually furthers your plot, otherwise it feels tacked on.

 

[TheIronRuler]

2. Keep at it. One note based on what you mentioned, don't worry too much about using words a lot. If someone "said" something, he "said" it. Unless it's important to disclose that he "yelled" it, "murmured" it, etc, just stick with "said".

6. If the taboo subject actually furthers your plot, otherwise it feels tacked on.

Thank you for responding.
2- I am currently trying to write a short story from a first person perspective, therefore it is very difficult for me because It is very irritationg to read 'x says' after every sentence a character says. So I replace it with 'declared triumphantly' (used twice) and other similar phrases. When I read the first draft I had trouble reading it till the end because it was filled with the word "say" in various variations.

6- This is trickey, because I don't know how a normal reader would react to witnessing a *crime* against the heros' sister while she must be silent or else she would be caught and 'disposed of', or worse - have the same fate as her sister. It is also difficult to write about gender specific topics since I am a male.Additionally, I can't ask females about these taboo subjects without arrousing suspesion or discomfort.

 

[Jaded Scribe]

2. Keep at it. One note based on what you mentioned, don't worry too much about using words a lot. If someone "said" something, he "said" it. Unless it's important to disclose that he "yelled" it, "murmured" it, etc, just stick with "said".

6. If the taboo subject actually furthers your plot, otherwise it feels tacked on.

Thank you for responding.
2- I am currently trying to write a short story from a first person perspective, therefore it is very difficult for me because It is very irritationg to read 'x says' after every sentence a character says. So I replace it with 'declared triumphantly' (used twice) and other similar phrases. When I read the first draft I had trouble reading it till the end because it was filled with the word "say" in various variations.

6- This is trickey, because I don't know how a normal reader would react to witnessing a *crime* against the heros' sister while she must be silent or else she would be caught and 'disposed of', or worse - have the same fate as her sister. It is also difficult to write about gender specific topics since I am a male.Additionally, I can't ask females about these taboo subjects without arrousing suspesion or discomfort.

2- Reading things like "declared triumphantly" can come across to readers as overly pretentious. By and large, words like "said" and "says" and "told" tend to get skipped over by readers because we understand they're there, and what they mean. Varied phrasing tends to become very obnoxious to the reader.

6- Is the sister being attacked because it's crucial to the plot, or is she just being attacked for the sake of having her attacked? Look at how homosexuality can be treated in some games: if a character is gay, even if that doesn't have an impact on the character in the story, the game blows it into a huge deal just to look forward-thinking.

 

[SenorNemo]

Being as everything I've written in Spanish sucks even more than everything I've written in English, I'm afraid I can't offer too much help about writing in second languages beyond basic advice about how short stories should flow in general.

1) Show, don't tell. Is a character naive? Is a monstrosity from beyond the void incomprehensible? Let the reader come to their own conclusions, don't just say "Susan was a naive girl" or "the unearthly monster was incomprehensible and scary."
2) Short stories tend to focus on the exploration of single ideas and atmospheres. Don't try to go overboard with exposition: explore the story's theme as best as possible.
3) Depending on the type of short story, I tend to find it useful to use primarily dialog to carry the story forward. Since dialog tends to use less grandiose vocabulary, and English isn't your first language, I'd recommend taking that path.

Anyway, I'm no great writer, but I don't think there's anything I said that'll necessarily lead you astray.

 

[TheIronRuler]

2. Keep at it. One note based on what you mentioned, don't worry too much about using words a lot. If someone "said" something, he "said" it. Unless it's important to disclose that he "yelled" it, "murmured" it, etc, just stick with "said".

6. If the taboo subject actually furthers your plot, otherwise it feels tacked on.

Thank you for responding.
2- I am currently trying to write a short story from a first person perspective, therefore it is very difficult for me because It is very irritationg to read 'x says' after every sentence a character says. So I replace it with 'declared triumphantly' (used twice) and other similar phrases. When I read the first draft I had trouble reading it till the end because it was filled with the word "say" in various variations.

6- This is trickey, because I don't know how a normal reader would react to witnessing a *crime* against the heros' sister while she must be silent or else she would be caught and 'disposed of', or worse - have the same fate as her sister. It is also difficult to write about gender specific topics since I am a male.Additionally, I can't ask females about these taboo subjects without arrousing suspesion or discomfort.

2- Reading things like "declared triumphantly" can come across to readers as overly pretentious. By and large, words like "said" and "says" and "told" tend to get skipped over by readers because we understand they're there, and what they mean. Varied phrasing tends to become very obnoxious to the reader.

6- Is the sister being attacked because it's crucial to the plot, or is she just being attacked for the sake of having her attacked? Look at how homosexuality can be treated in some games: if a character is gay, even if that doesn't have an impact on the character in the story, the game blows it into a huge deal just to look forward-thinking.

2- Understood. You're probably correct because I've only read it out loud to myself and haven't had anyone else review it.

6- The actual assualt is crucial to the plot because it becomes the motive to an action that'll change her future and character. In that scene the hero 'grows' to be a more mature person, but the actual cause of this growth is very uncomftorable .

 

[Jaded Scribe]

2. Keep at it. One note based on what you mentioned, don't worry too much about using words a lot. If someone "said" something, he "said" it. Unless it's important to disclose that he "yelled" it, "murmured" it, etc, just stick with "said".

6. If the taboo subject actually furthers your plot, otherwise it feels tacked on.

Thank you for responding.
2- I am currently trying to write a short story from a first person perspective, therefore it is very difficult for me because It is very irritationg to read 'x says' after every sentence a character says. So I replace it with 'declared triumphantly' (used twice) and other similar phrases. When I read the first draft I had trouble reading it till the end because it was filled with the word "say" in various variations.

6- This is trickey, because I don't know how a normal reader would react to witnessing a *crime* against the heros' sister while she must be silent or else she would be caught and 'disposed of', or worse - have the same fate as her sister. It is also difficult to write about gender specific topics since I am a male.Additionally, I can't ask females about these taboo subjects without arrousing suspesion or discomfort.

2- Reading things like "declared triumphantly" can come across to readers as overly pretentious. By and large, words like "said" and "says" and "told" tend to get skipped over by readers because we understand they're there, and what they mean. Varied phrasing tends to become very obnoxious to the reader.

6- Is the sister being attacked because it's crucial to the plot, or is she just being attacked for the sake of having her attacked? Look at how homosexuality can be treated in some games: if a character is gay, even if that doesn't have an impact on the character in the story, the game blows it into a huge deal just to look forward-thinking.

2- Understood. You're probably correct because I've only read it out loud to myself and haven't had anyone else review it.

6- The actual assualt is crucial to the plot because it becomes the motive to an action that'll change her future and character. In that scene the hero 'grows' to be a more mature person, but the actual cause of this growth is very uncomftorable .

6- Then definitely keep it in! You should only shy away from taboo content if it adds nothing to the story, and you're using it for "see how edgy I am!" Something that forwards character development is great.

 

[TheIronRuler]

Being as everything I've written in Spanish sucks even more than everything I've written in English, I'm afraid I can't offer too much help about writing in second languages beyond basic advice about how short stories should flow in general.

1) Show, don't tell. Is a character naive? Is a monstrosity from beyond the void incomprehensible? Let the reader come to their own conclusions, don't just say "Susan was a naive girl" or "the unearthly monster was incomprehensible and scary."
2) Short stories tend to focus on the exploration of single ideas and atmospheres. Don't try to go overboard with exposition: explore the story's theme as best as possible.
3) Depending on the type of short story, I tend to find it useful to use primarily dialog to carry the story forward. Since dialog tends to use less grandiose vocabulary, and English isn't your first language, I'd recommend taking that path.

Anyway, I'm no great writer, but I don't think there's anything I said that'll necessarily lead you astray.

Thank you for commenting.
1- that is a very good piece of advice. I'll consider that.
2- I intend to have different short stories in different settings - but in the same universe. This is focused in a Feudal realm with a loving peaceful godess that the nobility ignore but the masses adore. I think It'll be the main focuse of the (probably won't be written) future novel, but I'm not certain.
3- That's a simple but effective advice. It does seem that dialouge will be plain because most of the characters are peasants, but there will be different characters with different backgrounds - which means I'll have to use a different 'degree' of English in each.

Here is a question - should I intentioally use grammtical mistakes in the peasants' dialouge?

 

[Jaded Scribe]

Here is a question - should I intentioally use grammtical mistakes in the peasants' dialouge?

Ehhhhh.... This is difficult, and requires a light touch. Someone that says "Me and my sister, we was hanging out at that there inn" can be workable, as the reader will fill in the rest.

Going overboard to this:

"Me 'n' m' sister, we was hanning out at thet thar inn" is just painful to read.

Also, after you established someone's mode of speech, ease off it if that character talks a lot in a short span. The reader will follow you.

 

[TheIronRuler]

I have a handful of ideas but whenever I try to run these scenarios in my head, I feel an awkward sense of De-Ja-Vu, I've heard them before.
I feel bad because I can't come up with an original plot, but I don't know if there are any original plots left.
I feel the need to ask a question - Should I still use a premise if I am familiar with it from a different place (I might have overheard it. It simply sounds too familiar in my head)?
This question is driving me mad because I don't want to have 'recycled' stories.

 

[BENZOOKA]

It seems like Jaded Scribe has covered most of this topic, and I'm no playwright, so I'll just give a few tips on translations and such, as I'm not a native English speaker either. I didn't catch, or you haven't mentioned, what language you speak, so I'll assume it's at least as common on The Internet as Finnish, and give tips that work for me.

Simple Google Translate will usually give you at least an idea. Most of the time it offers the solution if you've just forgotten the word or roughly know what it is you're looking for. If you have no idea what the translation is, and have never before heard it, then you'll want to check, if it really is the answer. I've encountered some mistakes on translating sites. And there's always the chance of the original word having other meanings and you'll be mislead. If Google Translate, or other main translating source can't offer you an answer, just Google "example to english", in your own language, and you'll probably get answers from other translating sites.

So, you've now get the word. To get a clear image of it's meaning, searching in Google: "define:example". That'll give you definitions from Wikipedia, Wiktionary, Princeton, and a bunch of other places. That'll usually work, and it is my favorite Google search feature. It'll give you the definition and with that, it's a great help if you aren't absolutely sure about the word's meaning. It also gives you one or two synonyms, which definitions often have.

Google's image search is also useful, if the word you're checking might have an image of it, so you can see what it means. Wikipedia can also be turned to a translating tool, and it really is the most efficient way with certain subjects; go to a page on Wikipedia, and look for a corresponding language in the bottom left. You'll get the same page, but on the other language, and at the same time you'll translate the topic. It can also give other help, since sometimes the entries are translated rather straight out from English.

If you're not sure how some phrase should be put, just Google it. There's a surprisingly good chance of you finding plenty of pages where the exact same, usually common misconception, is corrected. If it's something trickier, or you want to know how to organize your words, and so on: again, just do a Google search. Compare how many results you get with each one of the options you're weighing, and whether the results are from a random forum where the grammar doesn't seem to be that great, or a more official source, like a news site.