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The Drive
As Evan smith drove his roommate?s car from the parking lot of his condo with a great haste, he knew his face betrayed how he really felt. At first glance, someone might think of him as happy, surprised, maybe even overjoyed, and though he felt these ways, deep in his heart he felt another dark, looming emotion: mysterious, silent, and yet slowly eating away at his soul nonetheless. The drive down Main Street was lost to the background of his concentration, using a skill he learned by years of practice to study a map and think about what was to come instead.
Evan was lost in a sea of thoughts. He was jittery and nervous, and no matter how much he thought of the positives, dark feelings came back to him. He lit a cigarette and took a drag, calming him. Evan smoked whenever he was stressed out or depressed, so naturally he was an avid smoker, and there was a polka-dotted car seat below him to prove it. Today he smoked two packs alone, ever since the call he got from the orphanage. He looked out of the window, watching as the people walked by his car. He became relaxed and sleepy as he watched the memorizing movements of the sea of people pass by. Slowly, the dark thoughts began to fade, and memories started flooding his mind. He remembered a simpler time, a time of sunshine and innocence, with no cares in the world, a feeling long forgotten by him. He remembered holding her hand and looking up towards her pretty face. He smiled as she looked down at him and did the same, and for a moment, everything drifted away. Suddenly, a startling honk from the car behind awoke him from the daydream, and he looked ahead to see the light had changed, and the darkness returned.
A light drizzle of rain sprinkled from the sky, darkening the sky and his ever- fouling mood. He turned on his wipers, and they washed away the drops on his windshield. He looked out the window, and took another drag of his cigarette. It christened down to the end, and he put it out on the seat below him, lighting another quickly after. Many confusing questions filled his head as he drove down the somehow familiar streets. What was this darkness he felt inside himself? Why did it feel like?regret? Perhaps it?s betrayal? He asked himself. His inner monologue sounded how he felt: exited yet confused, with a hidden sadness behind it. ?Then why,? he asked himself,? do I feel so forgotten? So? left behind?? he had no answer. He never did. Where did his money go? Why couldn?t he ever achieve his goals? Couldn?t he be happy too? He could never answer. Nobody could. Maybe if he had been raised differently, better than he had been? it wasn?t his parents? fault. They couldn?t help. How could they? They never would, never will, for they can never change the past, never can change their mistakes, and either can he. Anger the likes he rarely felt loomed and bubbled in his soul, and he clenched the steering wheel and grit his teeth. He cursed and hit his brake, swerving his car to the side of the road. Evan turned off the car and his anger faded away as the car stopped. Evan felt the looming sense of guilt as he remembered the bright innocent bliss of his early childhood, the only memories he had that made him happy anymore. He put his hands to his face and found it was wet, that he was crying. He wiped away the tears with the back of his hand and started the car once again.
The dark emotions where looming around Evan as he started the car and drove away and continued down the street. He lit another cigarette and put between his lips and drove down the darkened, wealthy streets of what he now realized was from his distant, nearly forgotten childhood. As he drove he finally could look back to the horrors of his teenager years, the fights he had with the imposters he once called ?mother? and ?father?. He knew he couldn?t change the past, the fights he had, the mistakes he made, but he realized, as he pulled up and parked in front of a familiar house, on a familiar street, his brain running wild with recognitions, that he could make it better from here on. He looked up the hill towards the house, and smiled, shyly. He opened the door and threw the cigarette out. The darkness in his heart cleared, and he realized, he could make it better, for he could forgive them. With a slight smirk, he closed the car door and started to walk up the pathway to meet his real parents.
As Evan smith drove his roommate?s car from the parking lot of his condo with a great haste, he knew his face betrayed how he really felt. At first glance, someone might think of him as happy, surprised, maybe even overjoyed, and though he felt these ways, deep in his heart he felt another dark, looming emotion: mysterious, silent, and yet slowly eating away at his soul nonetheless. The drive down Main Street was lost to the background of his concentration, using a skill he learned by years of practice to study a map and think about what was to come instead.
Evan was lost in a sea of thoughts. He was jittery and nervous, and no matter how much he thought of the positives, dark feelings came back to him. He lit a cigarette and took a drag, calming him. Evan smoked whenever he was stressed out or depressed, so naturally he was an avid smoker, and there was a polka-dotted car seat below him to prove it. Today he smoked two packs alone, ever since the call he got from the orphanage. He looked out of the window, watching as the people walked by his car. He became relaxed and sleepy as he watched the memorizing movements of the sea of people pass by. Slowly, the dark thoughts began to fade, and memories started flooding his mind. He remembered a simpler time, a time of sunshine and innocence, with no cares in the world, a feeling long forgotten by him. He remembered holding her hand and looking up towards her pretty face. He smiled as she looked down at him and did the same, and for a moment, everything drifted away. Suddenly, a startling honk from the car behind awoke him from the daydream, and he looked ahead to see the light had changed, and the darkness returned.
A light drizzle of rain sprinkled from the sky, darkening the sky and his ever- fouling mood. He turned on his wipers, and they washed away the drops on his windshield. He looked out the window, and took another drag of his cigarette. It christened down to the end, and he put it out on the seat below him, lighting another quickly after. Many confusing questions filled his head as he drove down the somehow familiar streets. What was this darkness he felt inside himself? Why did it feel like?regret? Perhaps it?s betrayal? He asked himself. His inner monologue sounded how he felt: exited yet confused, with a hidden sadness behind it. ?Then why,? he asked himself,? do I feel so forgotten? So? left behind?? he had no answer. He never did. Where did his money go? Why couldn?t he ever achieve his goals? Couldn?t he be happy too? He could never answer. Nobody could. Maybe if he had been raised differently, better than he had been? it wasn?t his parents? fault. They couldn?t help. How could they? They never would, never will, for they can never change the past, never can change their mistakes, and either can he. Anger the likes he rarely felt loomed and bubbled in his soul, and he clenched the steering wheel and grit his teeth. He cursed and hit his brake, swerving his car to the side of the road. Evan turned off the car and his anger faded away as the car stopped. Evan felt the looming sense of guilt as he remembered the bright innocent bliss of his early childhood, the only memories he had that made him happy anymore. He put his hands to his face and found it was wet, that he was crying. He wiped away the tears with the back of his hand and started the car once again.
The dark emotions where looming around Evan as he started the car and drove away and continued down the street. He lit another cigarette and put between his lips and drove down the darkened, wealthy streets of what he now realized was from his distant, nearly forgotten childhood. As he drove he finally could look back to the horrors of his teenager years, the fights he had with the imposters he once called ?mother? and ?father?. He knew he couldn?t change the past, the fights he had, the mistakes he made, but he realized, as he pulled up and parked in front of a familiar house, on a familiar street, his brain running wild with recognitions, that he could make it better from here on. He looked up the hill towards the house, and smiled, shyly. He opened the door and threw the cigarette out. The darkness in his heart cleared, and he realized, he could make it better, for he could forgive them. With a slight smirk, he closed the car door and started to walk up the pathway to meet his real parents.