Should we lie more?

[Realitycrash]

Personally, I hate lying. I feel it diminishes me, makes me somewhat less of a person and more of a suck-up. Sadly contradictory to said feelings, I also believe that the end justifies the mean (it's just that rarely the end actually justifies the mean), so I have nothing principally AGAINST lying. I just emotionally dislike it.
Still, many agree that 'white-lies' aren't really the same, and they are totally fine. I actually dislike white-lies even more, as they seem like pointless bullshit to me. But, they make people happy, don't they?
So should we tell more of them? Should we white-lie to our friends and family about their haircuts and weight-loss, or their new jobs or their new boyfriends and girlfriends and how happy we are for them?
I rarely if ever do. If I pay a compliment, I actually mean it. Otherwise I just remain quiet. But honestly, isn't it better to just say a few white-lies to your friend whenever they are sad, if you can pass it off as genuinely believable?

What do you think? More white-lies?

 

[Summerstorm]

"Your thoughts, your words and your actions shall be the same"

So no. I (of course) lied a lot - especially as a child. Also tring to make bullshit excuses for my failings and such.

For a few years now i am actively trying to NEVER lie... i can tell you: Feels WAY better. No half-truths to confuse, no lies to remember... higher self-respect for being a MANLY MAN, true to his words. It's cool.

Not saying i go extreme though: I still have secrets or tell somebody: "Don't want to talk about it" or "Hm hm", and just leave it at that *g*. Also i am still curteous and nice. (No need to blurt out EVERYTHING you think about people or such)

 

[Realitycrash]

"Your thoughts, your words and your actions shall be the same"

So no. I (of course) lied a lot - especially as a child. Also tring to make bullshit excuses for my failings and such.

For a few years now i am actively trying to NEVER lie... i can tell you: Feels WAY better. No half-truths to confuse, no lies to remember... higher self-respect for being a MANLY MAN, true to his words. It's cool.

Not saying i go extreme though: I still have secrets or tell somebody: "Don't want to talk about it" or "Hm hm", and just leave it at that *g*. Also i am still curteous and nice. (No need to blurt out EVERYTHING you think about people or such)

This means that you are alright with hurting peoples feelings, sometimes even badly so, because you won't tell a white lie?

 

[Amethyst Wind]

What do you think? More white-lies?

Certainly. It's good practice and a great exercise in unplanned creative thinking.

I don't think I've been tongue-tied for years because I've made it a point to lie in situations where it wasn't called for. Usually unimportant exchanges with friends and strangers but it's really allowed me to remain fluid in my speech. I've become much better in formal interviews too.

Lying, like most non-instinctual actions, is a skill that must be learned and refined.

To me, people who take pride in being bad liars/non-liars are merely saying they haven't put effort into learning a skill that is as much a part of societal interaction as apologies or compliments.

Mind you I'm of the opinion that "it's morally wrong" is meaningless unless a person can thoroughly expand upon what they mean by that. Morals are subjective at best and illusionary at worst.

 

[Realitycrash]

What do you think? More white-lies?

Certainly. It's good practice and a great exercise in unplanned creative thinking.

I don't think I've been tongue-tied for years because I've made it a point to lie in situations where it wasn't called for. Usually unimportant exchanges with friends and strangers but it's really allowed me to remain fluid in my speech. I've become much better in formal interviews too.

Lying, like most non-instinctual actions, is a skill that must be learned and refined.

To me, people who take pride in being bad liars/non-liars are merely saying they haven't put effort into learning a skill that is as much a part of societal interaction as apologies or compliments.

Mind you I'm of the opinion that "it's morally wrong" is meaningless unless a person can thoroughly expand upon what they mean by that. Morals are subjective at best and illusionary at worst.

I certainly could expand upon it, but I don't really have the time or energy right now. But alright, noted.

 

[Heronblade]

"Your thoughts, your words and your actions shall be the same"

So no. I (of course) lied a lot - especially as a child. Also tring to make bullshit excuses for my failings and such.

For a few years now i am actively trying to NEVER lie... i can tell you: Feels WAY better. No half-truths to confuse, no lies to remember... higher self-respect for being a MANLY MAN, true to his words. It's cool.

Not saying i go extreme though: I still have secrets or tell somebody: "Don't want to talk about it" or "Hm hm", and just leave it at that *g*. Also i am still curteous and nice. (No need to blurt out EVERYTHING you think about people or such)

This means that you are alright with hurting peoples feelings, sometimes even badly so, because you won't tell a white lie?

I know the question wasn't for me, but yes. However, "all right" isn't quite the correct term, I prefer to deal with the overall consequences of being honest, sometimes brutally so, than the consequences of helping others maintain an illusion.

Generally speaking, when it comes to white lies, either you don't have to say anything at all, and/or it is something the listener needs to confront/acknowledge one way or another for their own sake, feelings be damned.

People would be much better off if we all chose to be forthright with one another, rather than maintaining a facade.

 

[Realitycrash]

Or maybe that's just a function of who I surround myself with. I've never had someone ask me, for example, "Does my butt look big in this?"

Count yourself lucky then. Questions like 'What do you think about my boyfriend/girlfriend' are common for me, and there are no ways to handle such a question without any form of deception. Yes, I could say 'He's certainly good at X', and thus misdirect the whole question, but I wouldn't call that being honest, even if it doesn't involve lies.

People would be much better off if we all chose to be forthright with one another, rather than maintaining a facade.

Eh, I highly disagree. I think society would quickly break down if we were forced to be forthright over every single bullshit issue.

 

[Heronblade]

Or maybe that's just a function of who I surround myself with. I've never had someone ask me, for example, "Does my butt look big in this?"

Count yourself lucky then. Questions like 'What do you think about my boyfriend/girlfriend' are common for me, and there are no ways to handle such a question without any form of deception. Yes, I could say 'He's certainly good at X', and thus misdirect the whole question, but I wouldn't call that being honest, even if it doesn't involve lies.

People would be much better off if we all chose to be forthright with one another, rather than maintaining a facade.

Eh, I highly disagree. I think society would quickly break down if we were forced to be forthright over every single bullshit issue.

If we were to continue to place an arbitrarily high importance on self image, perhaps. But that is part of the point.

Simply put, if the truth is painful, then one needs to either change the facts, learn to live with the facts, or decide it isn't important enough to be concerned about. Choosing instead to prefer that others lie to you so you can continue to lie to yourself is... unhealthy to say the least.

 

[NightmareExpress]

What are the possible ramifications?
Will this negatively effect myself or others?
Will somebody be spared of pain?

Those are the questions to be asked while doing so.
Being honest and lying both have benefits and consequences, it's up to you to really decide which one is more worth it. Or you can simply say nothing at all and stare.

I lie all the damn time (obvious or not), but never about the things that are important. It's really quite odd if you think about it, but society is built upon lies and false appearances. To get ahead, you will need to lie and maintain a pleasant facade. What you really think must be kept behind a censor filter, lest you want to be lonely and have an exponentially harder time finding steady employment.

Seems to be the way it works.
What a shame.