Sick Day Excuses

[AnAngryMoose]

So, what are your best sick day excuses for work/school etc. They can be believable, funny or just plain ridiculous!
I'll get the ball rolling.

I'm sick for work because I was attacked by a flying cat in a crocodile suit.

 

[latenightapplepie]

I'm too sick to go into university today: my arch-nemesis neighbor from across the street sneaked rat poison into my vegetable soup.

 

[Jav3lin]

My car broke down in LA, my wife just left me, it's raining like hell outside, that last night cigarette really caught a snap in my lungs and I got robbed last night, followed by a beating.

So mom... can I pleeeeease not go to kindergarden today?

 

[Cryptorus]

I can't go to work today boss... I was caught in a car accident involving a meteor, an explosion, and the FBI... Don't ask.

 

[Angry Caterpillar]

There was a tornado! An earthquake! My mother died! An old friend came in from out of town! I can't come in today!