Silly stuff you always wanted to do

[Vegosiux]

Being bored again, and embracing my silly side a little, I've been thinking about what silly things I'd love to do if I had a chance to get away with it, and have so far thought of things such as...

If talking to someone who has some trouble articulating themselves and goes along the lines "That was, how do you say, preposterous", I'd love to interject, going "Pre-pos-te-rous".

Not a very creative, this, but I'd love to pull the "Ahhh...I have been expecting you" after slowly spinning around in one of those fancy big office chairs.

If, for example, I ended up helping a friend that god a spiff too hammered to the toilet, I'd remark how I'm only doing this because you know how hard it is to get that stuff out of the carpet.

Picking up a phone, go all "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT...oh, sorry, I thought it was X calling me again."

Call a telemarketing company and going "You know, my kitchen is a mess, could you send one of your guys over to demonstrate how awesome this new thing you're selling is for cleaning?"

Call up Gordon Ramsay and thank him for teaching me twenty-seven new pronounciations and ways to use the world "fuck".

Walk into an Apple store with a 3.5" floppy disk (audio casette, VHS tape, you get the message), waving it around, going "Gonna give 20? to the first person who can tell me what this is! (and if you say "that thing that's on the save button, you give me 20?)".

When writing something up, set up an epic tale of a heroic adventurer embarking on a world-saving quest, then continuing, "Well, this is the story of his boring slob of a brother."

When pulled over and asked to do a breathalyzer test, act as if I mistook it for a flask and tring to take a swig.

Any silly ideas of your own, escapists?

 

[Epic Bear Man]

One of the things I've wanted to do for a long time (and that I've said I'd do if I was diagnosed with a terminal disease), is to walk into a bank with a balaclava on (it's basically a wrap you put on your face that only has the eyes cut out. Just think of a SWAT officer's head to imagine a balaclava), walk up to the teller, and yell out "I'D LIKE TO MAKE A DEPOSIT!"

 

[Queen Michael]

Go up to someone smoking right by the entrance of, say, a library or a mall or something, say "Do you know what's in cigarette smoke? Cyanide gas. That's the same thing that the nazis used in the death chambers," take off my hat to reveal my kippah (jewish cap) that I had on underneath, and say "I don't want to have to inhale that stuff, thank you."

Go into a McDonald's, and say in a really loud voice "I, MICHAEL HOWARD GOLDSTEIN, HAVE COME TO GIVE MY SINFUL BODY THE PUNISHMENT IT SO RICHLY DESERVES. FIRST, I'D LIKE TWENTY BIG MACS, A VERITABLE DEATH SENTENCE TO MY ARTERIES..." and keep on like that.

Tell somebody talking loudly on their cell phone on public transportation (like a train, bus, tram) "If you have a moment to spare, do shut up."

I did the last two. It was fun. (Oh, and the name in #2 isn't my real name.)

 

[Nantucket_v1legacy]

Pretty straight forward for me:

1. Jump into a taxi and point out the window exclaiming, "Follow that car!"

2. Whilst at work - see how long I could get away with just Star Trek quotes until somebody noticed.

3. Ride a horse to work and tie him up outside with his head peering in the window frame.

4. Suddenly burst into song on the bus without being asked to leave.

5. Be incredibly rude to assholes without getting a smack in the mouth.

 

[an annoyed writer]

I can think of all sorts of crazy things I'd love to do, but I already can list some really funny things I have done, mainly at my old workplace, so here goes:

-Crashed the entire server system at WalMart, multiple times. Was never caught. Hilarity ensues when old people don't understand how to fix the computers.

-Took some friends and used the little shopping scooters to race around the store.

-Took the same friends jousting on said scooters, primarily around the toys section where the lightsabers and nerf swords were at.

-Went to best buy and replaced all of the computer, tablet, and phone display backgrounds with this:

Spoiler

-While having my car broken down on the side of the road, my friends and I engaged in a duel with brooms and shit that were in the back of my car while we waited for help.

Future plans:

-Return to my old place of employment and Hijack the PA system, do a couple radio skits and shit.

-Return to my place of former employment wearing a custom-made sneaking suit and "sneak" around while my film crew captures it and then we edit it into some dumb video and put it on the net for all to see.

As you can see, I like screwing with WalMart, and there's a reason for that: They screwed with me quite a bit. What goes around comes around.