Skyrim - My Wife Sleeps in the Basement

[Right Hook]

So I really wasn't all that interested in getting married in Skyrim at first, seemed like a waste of time to me, but before I knew it I had the manor in Solitude and it felt pretty empty, except for an annoying Housecarl, of course. Anyway I went out and bought the amulet required for marriage, found this chick I met during the dark brotherhood questing, Muiri and we got married in the church.

That's when things got lame, I had her move into Solitude, which she did promptly...two days later. Then I went out and found her some tavern clothes, which look pretty sexy, I even put a nice enchantment on them to make sure she'd want to wear them over her crappy dress. NOPE, screw that, apparently she loves that crappy dress, as opposed to an outfit worth over 500 gold! Now I'm a bit upset but at least I'll get that sleep bonus. So it is 11PM and I check upstairs to see if she is asleep, she isn't. I search both floors, where the hell is she? I finally go into the basement and in a cobwebbed filled storage room, there she is, sleeping on a bedroll. Apparently I am so revolting she would rather sleep in the basement of my manor, than in bed with me, a thane of multiple cities, an arch mage, leader of the companions and a man who helped her take care of her ex-boyfriend. She constantly reminds me of that fact by saying "thanks for helping me with that...problem" over and over.

I want a divorce.

EDIT: Also I'm on the 360 so I can't do any of the fancy console commands to actually divorce her or make her act like a real person :/

 

[Ectoplasmicz]

I married her as well, but she sleeps with me, and im a khajiit!

A sexy Khajiit at that, but im still a cat. I also like the money i make from the business, comes in handy, i need it to buy me some skooma.

 

[Pimppeter2]

Instead of thinking she's repulsed by you, think instead that you put that damn wimmens in her place. Now make her make you a sweet roll.

Get some pootie tang on the side.

 

[King of the Sandbox]

The thread title alone made me lose it. Kudos.

(Mostly because my wife might well be sleeping in our basement and I'd never know, because I don't sleep anymore. I only Skyrim and work.)

 

[Right Hook]

Disappointed. Here I thought I was coming to a thread where a guy locked his wife in the basement so he could get some alone time with Skyrim.

Haha, sorry to disappoint you, I'm not THAT horrible of a person.

 

[WolfThomas]

Do you have the Housecarl as well? Jordis Shieldmaiden. I found once I got her my wife moved back up to the main bedroom. Still no extra sleep bonus (Aela is a werewolf though).

 

[DC_Josh]

Murder her. Marry a better wife.

I mean it worked for Henry VIII.

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

I didn't even really read the opening post. I mean, i will in a sec.... but.

Welp, I am waiting for Raj to get here.

Hehe, I love Raj.

EDIT:

Ok, read.

I agree, the marriage seems a little f***** up in Skyrim, like they didn't care to much. Oh wait, whoops...

So when I walked into Breezehome, I was greeted by my ugly old wife. After I ate dinner, we both hopped into bed and went to sleep, ready to adventure the next day.

So when I woke up early, I rolled over and guess what?

Lydia was sitting in my room. Eating bread. In full armour. With a big sword. (Hey chicka bump bump) "Honour to you my Thane." She said.

And now I am still trying to clean up the blood and whenever my fat Nord wife walks in she always goes, "Oh Reman you stupid Redguard, why did you do that?"

If only the Temple would let me remarry....

 

[CM156_v1legacy]

Murder her. Marry a better wife.

I mean it worked for Henry VIII.

Might take a few tries, though. Around wife number 6, you should have something good.

OT: Yeah, I thought this was going to be about something else. Funny

 

[King of the Sandbox]

I didn't even really read the opening post. I mean, i will in a sec.... but.

Welp, I am waiting for Raj to get here.

Hehe, I love Raj.

I second this SO HARD. I've taken quite the shine to Raj and his stories.

 

[JesterRaiin]

...Typical Nords. Drinkers, wife beaters, domestical murderers, rebels...

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

I didn't even really read the opening post. I mean, i will in a sec.... but.

Welp, I am waiting for Raj to get here.

Hehe, I love Raj.

I second this SO HARD. I've taken quite the shine to Raj and his stories.

ALL HAIL RAJ, THE ONLY TRUTH IN THIS WORLD!

 

[Lil_Rimmy]

...Typical Nords. Drinkers, wife beaters, domestical murderers, rebels...

Don't forget dragon soulrapers.

EDIT:

You know....

I was meant to be doing homework. But I joined a Skyrim thread.

Well, screw that then!

 

[JesterRaiin]

...Typical Nords. Drinkers, wife beaters, domestical murderers, rebels...

Don't forget dragon soulrapers.

Judging by my own behavior also shoplifters, kleptomaniacs, womanizers and exhibitionists.

You know....
I was meant to be doing homework. But I joined a Skyrim thread.
Well, screw that then!

FOR SKYRIM !

 

[Adam Jensen_v1legacy]

I married her as well, but she sleeps with me, and im a khajiit!

A sexy Khajiit at that, but im still a cat. I also like the money i make from the business, comes in handy, i need it to buy me some skooma.

So she's a cat person then?

 

[El Poncho]

Get your pickpocket to 100, steal her current clothes, then give her the new clothes.

 

[Ectoplasmicz]

I married her as well, but she sleeps with me, and im a khajiit!

A sexy Khajiit at that, but im still a cat. I also like the money i make from the business, comes in handy, i need it to buy me some skooma.

So she's a cat person then?

She hasnt mentioned anything beforehand, but probably.

 

[Johnny Reb]

eh i married Vilkas. we sleep together while we're both wear our plate armor

 

[WalrusPowers]

Murder her. Marry a better wife.

I mean it worked for Henry VIII.

No it didn't...