Spoilers follow for the December 12th episode of Smackdown.
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I'm sure our hearts are all racing from the previous night's NXT special, but now we get the main program, which is ... not anywhere near as fun, somehow. Shouldn't the minor leagues be worse? How come that isn't the case? Anyway, WWE decided that it needed to make this week's Smackdown good, so ... it opens with John Cena. He rarely makes Smackdown appearances, so this is special. You see WWE's logic, right?
Cena comes out first and cuts a promo that hypes up TLC. Or, he tries. He's interrupted by Seth Rollins and his security team. Rollins does the same thing, basically. Rollins does make fun of Cena's stale promos, but that's neither here nor there. Rollins thinks he'll win at TLC, Cena thinks he's going to win, and so on. I bet you're surprised. Remember, these two face each other at the PPV, and if Cena loses, he relinquishes his spot as the number one contender for Brock Lesnar's championship.
A vignette for The Ascension airs after the entrances.
Cesaro and Tyson Kidd (with Natalya) vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
The Miz and Damien Sandow are on commentary.
Apparently Kidd and Cesaro are a real tag team now. That's fine, I guess. They're both talented, and hopefully they can get the tag team gold at some point. I mean, I'd rather them than The Usos. Miz and Sandow -- although mostly Miz -- are on commentary and therefore distract from the match. I mean, not as much of a distraction as Sandow is when in a match, but whatever. The Miz takes a phone call midway through the match and leaves to go backstage to talk to Naomi. No, really.
The Usos and Kidd/Cesaro work a fine match, but it's not going to remain in anyone's mind in a day or two. The Usos only put in really good work on PPVs, anyway. There was a cool spot involving the Cesaro Swing and Kidd, and the Kidd/Cesaro tag team does seem to have good chemistry, so hopefully they'll be a success. They don't get to win, of course, because when do they?
Match Rating: **1/2
Miz talks to Naomi backstage. She thinks Miz is just helping her to irritate her husband. Miz tells her that the offer is soon to be off the table, because of Jimmy Uso and her drama. Miz tells Naomi to sort it out. He continues to look like the babyface in this "feud." After the commercial break, Naomi does just that. She tells off her husband. Then The Usos argue a little bit.
A Bray Wyatt promo is shown. It's about Dean Ambrose. Apparently Ambrose's demise will be Wyatt's salvation.
Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) vs. Alicia Fox
AJ Lee is on commentary.
Nikki dominates Alicia. It's not a long match, but it showcases Nikki's power and makes her look strong going into Sunday's PPV. Alicia gets to show off a bit of athleticism, but it's Nikki's match. She winds up winning with the Rack Attack.
Match Rating: **1/2
Nikki hits Alicia with a second Rack Attack after the match, staring down AJ as she does. She sent her message.
Big E (with Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) vs. Goldust (with Stardust)
I don't know why we're letting the weakest in-ring member of The New Day get a singles match, but here we are. I'm always happy to see Goldust get a singles match, even if he and Stardust have lost most of my interest.
I mean, we shouldn't be having a 45-year-old in Goldust carrying Big E to a semi-respectable match. It should, if anything, be the other way around, but that's how bad Big E is. Goldust dominates, Big E hits like two moves, and then Big E hits the Big Ending for the win.
Match Rating: **
Titus O'Neil vs. Jack Swagger
Titus and Swagger wrestle a boring match that doesn't last particularly long. We know that Swagger is going to win, so there's no drama, and even outside of that, it's just not all that interesting or exciting. Titus gets in a few moves, Swagger counters and locks in the Patriot Lock, and that's that.
Match Rating: *1/2
Lana and Rusev come out after the match. They just look on from the stage.
Dean Ambrose cuts a promo from backstage after the commercial break. He doesn't care what happens to him, but he will win. Shocking. Then we see John Cena backstage with Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, and Erick Rowan, hilariously holding a sheet of paper with the words "Game Plan" written on it. They're discussing strategy, but we don't actually hear them.
Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryack vs. Luke Harper, Kane, and Big Show
I feel like Ziggler doesn't belong in this match filled with really big people. But he's fun, so who cares? This is the best match of the night, if only because it's actually kind of entertaining. Everything else has either been a squash or too dull/uninteresting for me to care. The main event should be good, especially with the talent involved.
There was at least one very near fall, which was great. A couple of finisher are seen, too, which is fun. Ryback winds up winning it with a Shell Shock.
Match Rating: ***
Everyone attacks everyone after the match, which culminates in Ziggler leaping off a ladder inside the ring to all three heels outside. Chairs got involved earlier. The faces all come away looking strong to end the show.
The Good: The Main Event.
The Bad: O'Neil/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback vs. Luke Harper, Kane, and Big Show.
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I'm sure our hearts are all racing from the previous night's NXT special, but now we get the main program, which is ... not anywhere near as fun, somehow. Shouldn't the minor leagues be worse? How come that isn't the case? Anyway, WWE decided that it needed to make this week's Smackdown good, so ... it opens with John Cena. He rarely makes Smackdown appearances, so this is special. You see WWE's logic, right?
Cena comes out first and cuts a promo that hypes up TLC. Or, he tries. He's interrupted by Seth Rollins and his security team. Rollins does the same thing, basically. Rollins does make fun of Cena's stale promos, but that's neither here nor there. Rollins thinks he'll win at TLC, Cena thinks he's going to win, and so on. I bet you're surprised. Remember, these two face each other at the PPV, and if Cena loses, he relinquishes his spot as the number one contender for Brock Lesnar's championship.
A vignette for The Ascension airs after the entrances.
Cesaro and Tyson Kidd (with Natalya) vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
The Miz and Damien Sandow are on commentary.
Apparently Kidd and Cesaro are a real tag team now. That's fine, I guess. They're both talented, and hopefully they can get the tag team gold at some point. I mean, I'd rather them than The Usos. Miz and Sandow -- although mostly Miz -- are on commentary and therefore distract from the match. I mean, not as much of a distraction as Sandow is when in a match, but whatever. The Miz takes a phone call midway through the match and leaves to go backstage to talk to Naomi. No, really.
The Usos and Kidd/Cesaro work a fine match, but it's not going to remain in anyone's mind in a day or two. The Usos only put in really good work on PPVs, anyway. There was a cool spot involving the Cesaro Swing and Kidd, and the Kidd/Cesaro tag team does seem to have good chemistry, so hopefully they'll be a success. They don't get to win, of course, because when do they?
Match Rating: **1/2
Miz talks to Naomi backstage. She thinks Miz is just helping her to irritate her husband. Miz tells her that the offer is soon to be off the table, because of Jimmy Uso and her drama. Miz tells Naomi to sort it out. He continues to look like the babyface in this "feud." After the commercial break, Naomi does just that. She tells off her husband. Then The Usos argue a little bit.
A Bray Wyatt promo is shown. It's about Dean Ambrose. Apparently Ambrose's demise will be Wyatt's salvation.
Nikki Bella (with Brie Bella) vs. Alicia Fox
AJ Lee is on commentary.
Nikki dominates Alicia. It's not a long match, but it showcases Nikki's power and makes her look strong going into Sunday's PPV. Alicia gets to show off a bit of athleticism, but it's Nikki's match. She winds up winning with the Rack Attack.
Match Rating: **1/2
Nikki hits Alicia with a second Rack Attack after the match, staring down AJ as she does. She sent her message.
Big E (with Xavier Woods and Kofi Kingston) vs. Goldust (with Stardust)
I don't know why we're letting the weakest in-ring member of The New Day get a singles match, but here we are. I'm always happy to see Goldust get a singles match, even if he and Stardust have lost most of my interest.
I mean, we shouldn't be having a 45-year-old in Goldust carrying Big E to a semi-respectable match. It should, if anything, be the other way around, but that's how bad Big E is. Goldust dominates, Big E hits like two moves, and then Big E hits the Big Ending for the win.
Match Rating: **
Titus O'Neil vs. Jack Swagger
Titus and Swagger wrestle a boring match that doesn't last particularly long. We know that Swagger is going to win, so there's no drama, and even outside of that, it's just not all that interesting or exciting. Titus gets in a few moves, Swagger counters and locks in the Patriot Lock, and that's that.
Match Rating: *1/2
Lana and Rusev come out after the match. They just look on from the stage.
Dean Ambrose cuts a promo from backstage after the commercial break. He doesn't care what happens to him, but he will win. Shocking. Then we see John Cena backstage with Ryback, Dolph Ziggler, and Erick Rowan, hilariously holding a sheet of paper with the words "Game Plan" written on it. They're discussing strategy, but we don't actually hear them.
Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan, and Ryack vs. Luke Harper, Kane, and Big Show
I feel like Ziggler doesn't belong in this match filled with really big people. But he's fun, so who cares? This is the best match of the night, if only because it's actually kind of entertaining. Everything else has either been a squash or too dull/uninteresting for me to care. The main event should be good, especially with the talent involved.
There was at least one very near fall, which was great. A couple of finisher are seen, too, which is fun. Ryback winds up winning it with a Shell Shock.
Match Rating: ***
Everyone attacks everyone after the match, which culminates in Ziggler leaping off a ladder inside the ring to all three heels outside. Chairs got involved earlier. The faces all come away looking strong to end the show.
The Good: The Main Event.
The Bad: O'Neil/Swagger.
Match of the Night: Dolph Ziggler, Erick Rowan and Ryback vs. Luke Harper, Kane, and Big Show.
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If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
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