Spoilers follow for the May 16th episode of Smackdown.
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As is the case with most episodes of Smackdown, this week opens with a flashback to events that happened on Raw. I'm more accepting of it this week, though, because of what it showed. It was a recap not of plot points we've already accepted, but of Daniel Bryan, who announced he was undergoing neck surgery. If someone missed Raw, that's the type of announcement that they'd need to see. This is game-changing news in the WWE, and I'm okay with them opening Smackdown with a recap of his speech.
John Cena comes out next. He first wishes Daniel Bryan his best wishes before turning his attention to Bray Wyatt's challenge from Raw. But before that, he makes a point I've been saying for a few weeks now: Bray Wyatt says a lot but most of it is meaningless. It's surprising that he'd be allowed to say that, but I'm glad he did. He notes that Wyatt said "last man standing" one or two times this past week, and that's the type of match he wants to have at Payback. He also issues an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family, claiming that Bray doesn't have the stones to face Cena himself. The Wyatt Family shows up on the Titantron soon after and accepts this while Bray talks about something. Again, it doesn't matter. It's just fun to listen.
Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
After Cody Rhodes won using a heel tactic on Raw, it looked as if, perhaps, the Rhodes brothers might get on a winning streak. About the only thing of which we can be pretty sure is that they will be splitting up in the near future, and Cody will probably be the heel in the feud.
Oh, right, the match. It's a basic back-and-forth match where frequent tags and a few pinfalls -- although very few close calls -- keep the match entertaining enough to not be dull. I'm still in shock at how strong Goldust looks in the ring as of late, and I'm eagerly anticipating the match(es?) he and Cody will be able to put on. The Usos pick up the victory after a superkick and splash. I think it was Jimmy who got the win, but I really couldn't be sure.
Match Rating: ***
El Torito (with Los Matadores) vs. Heath Slater (with 3MB)
This is something I suggested after the last time we saw these teams. El Torito is such a good athlete that he could probably put on decent matches -- at least in the short term -- against the main WWE roster. Maybe it's not something that can last, but it might be worth seeing for a time or two. Based on this match, it's an experiment that the WWE doesn't seem to want to do in any serious manner. The "match" involved about five moves, Hornswoggle interfered, and El Torito hit a kick and a Bullsault for a silly victory. I still think there's some sort of potential here, but it has to be done right to work. This wasn't right.
Match Rating: *
Another Raw flashback follows, because you need to see The Shield vs. Evolution for the 17th time. How many consecutive Raws have ended with a brawl between the two groups? Three?
<color=red>Special Referee (Eva Marie) <color=red>Match: Nikki Bella vs. Natalya
Apparently Nikki and Natalya are feuding on Total Divas. Good for them. Why is Eva Marie there? Well, she can't really wrestle, so I suppose the WWE is looking for alternative ways to use her. Nikki and Natalya seem to be unable to string more than a single move before looking incredibly awkward in the ring, and Eva Marie is seemingly unable to even hit the mat to count a pinfall. An almost-botched finish allows Nikki to win, despite her getting in approximately zero real offense. Whatever. Promote Total Divas some more, WWE.
Match Rating: *
Dolph Ziggler vs. Batista
Dolph Ziggler called Batista out on Twitter and now we get a match. Batista and Ziggler brawl outside the ring for most of the bout, although we eventually get back into the ring so basic moves like DDTs and suplexes can be hit. Batista winds up getting disqualified after hitting him with a low blow. Boring. After the match, Batista continues to beat up Ziggler, eventually powerbombing him into the barricade.
Match Rating: **
Sheamus vs. Titus O'Neil
Remember when we did this "match" a couple of weeks back? Yeah, this is the same thing, except worse. Titus O'Neil, who has apparently turned over a new, aggressive, leaf, doesn't even get any offense in. He gets on the mic and taunts Sheamus before eating a Brogue Kick and losing in one move.
Match Rating: *
An Adam Rose backstage segment happens. Adam Rose's entourage jumps around. Adam claims he has no problem with "Zebby" Colter or "Jacky" Swagger. They're just boring. So is this segment.
Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella (with Emma)
We're told that Damien Sandow issued an open challenge. Santino accepted. Sandow hits Santino with a couple of kicks but gets hit with the Cobra and is pinned. After the match, he gets on the mic and starts talking about how great a soldier he is. His mic is cut. Hopefully a Sandow push is coming. He's buried so far at this point that it has to be leading to something. Right?
Match Rating: *
R-Truth vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman)
Heyman comes out to cut a promo about how great Paul Heyman is. And also that The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak was broken by Brock Lesnar. It's interesting that you'd leave Cesaro and his manager off Raw but have him on Smackdown. Whatever. Cesaro squashes R-Truth almost as efficiently as Rusev has. Remember when Smackdown was "the wrestling show"?
Match Rating: *
We next get the same flashback as the one with which we opened the show. The Daniel Bryan one. The one we've already seen. Ugh. Why? We also get an update -- or a promise of an update -- on both Bryan and the WWE Championship. That'll happen on Raw, because Raw is the important show.
John Cena (with The Usos) vs. Erick Rowan (with Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper)
Bray Wyatt decided that Rowan will face John Cena tonight. That means the conclusion is inevitable: Rowan will lose to Cena. I don't know if Rowan has even won a singles match in the WWE yet. It doesn't happen here. The two put on a decent match, although it pales in comparison to the one the two had before WrestleMania. The two supporting teams try to interfere but are taken out by one another, and Cena gets the win with the Attitude Adjustment to send Smackdown off the air.
Match Rating: **1/2
How many wasted points were there tonight? Far, far too many.
The Good: Damien Sandow. Opening match.
The Bad: Short, wasted matches throughout the whole night. The repeated flashback.
Match of the Night: Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Usos.
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http://i55.servimg.com/u/f55/16/09/70/40/smackd10.png
As is the case with most episodes of Smackdown, this week opens with a flashback to events that happened on Raw. I'm more accepting of it this week, though, because of what it showed. It was a recap not of plot points we've already accepted, but of Daniel Bryan, who announced he was undergoing neck surgery. If someone missed Raw, that's the type of announcement that they'd need to see. This is game-changing news in the WWE, and I'm okay with them opening Smackdown with a recap of his speech.
John Cena comes out next. He first wishes Daniel Bryan his best wishes before turning his attention to Bray Wyatt's challenge from Raw. But before that, he makes a point I've been saying for a few weeks now: Bray Wyatt says a lot but most of it is meaningless. It's surprising that he'd be allowed to say that, but I'm glad he did. He notes that Wyatt said "last man standing" one or two times this past week, and that's the type of match he wants to have at Payback. He also issues an open challenge to any member of the Wyatt Family, claiming that Bray doesn't have the stones to face Cena himself. The Wyatt Family shows up on the Titantron soon after and accepts this while Bray talks about something. Again, it doesn't matter. It's just fun to listen.
Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
After Cody Rhodes won using a heel tactic on Raw, it looked as if, perhaps, the Rhodes brothers might get on a winning streak. About the only thing of which we can be pretty sure is that they will be splitting up in the near future, and Cody will probably be the heel in the feud.
Oh, right, the match. It's a basic back-and-forth match where frequent tags and a few pinfalls -- although very few close calls -- keep the match entertaining enough to not be dull. I'm still in shock at how strong Goldust looks in the ring as of late, and I'm eagerly anticipating the match(es?) he and Cody will be able to put on. The Usos pick up the victory after a superkick and splash. I think it was Jimmy who got the win, but I really couldn't be sure.
Match Rating: ***
El Torito (with Los Matadores) vs. Heath Slater (with 3MB)
This is something I suggested after the last time we saw these teams. El Torito is such a good athlete that he could probably put on decent matches -- at least in the short term -- against the main WWE roster. Maybe it's not something that can last, but it might be worth seeing for a time or two. Based on this match, it's an experiment that the WWE doesn't seem to want to do in any serious manner. The "match" involved about five moves, Hornswoggle interfered, and El Torito hit a kick and a Bullsault for a silly victory. I still think there's some sort of potential here, but it has to be done right to work. This wasn't right.
Match Rating: *
Another Raw flashback follows, because you need to see The Shield vs. Evolution for the 17th time. How many consecutive Raws have ended with a brawl between the two groups? Three?
<color=red>Special Referee (Eva Marie) <color=red>Match: Nikki Bella vs. Natalya
Apparently Nikki and Natalya are feuding on Total Divas. Good for them. Why is Eva Marie there? Well, she can't really wrestle, so I suppose the WWE is looking for alternative ways to use her. Nikki and Natalya seem to be unable to string more than a single move before looking incredibly awkward in the ring, and Eva Marie is seemingly unable to even hit the mat to count a pinfall. An almost-botched finish allows Nikki to win, despite her getting in approximately zero real offense. Whatever. Promote Total Divas some more, WWE.
Match Rating: *
Dolph Ziggler vs. Batista
Dolph Ziggler called Batista out on Twitter and now we get a match. Batista and Ziggler brawl outside the ring for most of the bout, although we eventually get back into the ring so basic moves like DDTs and suplexes can be hit. Batista winds up getting disqualified after hitting him with a low blow. Boring. After the match, Batista continues to beat up Ziggler, eventually powerbombing him into the barricade.
Match Rating: **
Sheamus vs. Titus O'Neil
Remember when we did this "match" a couple of weeks back? Yeah, this is the same thing, except worse. Titus O'Neil, who has apparently turned over a new, aggressive, leaf, doesn't even get any offense in. He gets on the mic and taunts Sheamus before eating a Brogue Kick and losing in one move.
Match Rating: *
An Adam Rose backstage segment happens. Adam Rose's entourage jumps around. Adam claims he has no problem with "Zebby" Colter or "Jacky" Swagger. They're just boring. So is this segment.
Damien Sandow vs. Santino Marella (with Emma)
We're told that Damien Sandow issued an open challenge. Santino accepted. Sandow hits Santino with a couple of kicks but gets hit with the Cobra and is pinned. After the match, he gets on the mic and starts talking about how great a soldier he is. His mic is cut. Hopefully a Sandow push is coming. He's buried so far at this point that it has to be leading to something. Right?
Match Rating: *
R-Truth vs. Cesaro (with Paul Heyman)
Heyman comes out to cut a promo about how great Paul Heyman is. And also that The Undertaker's WrestleMania streak was broken by Brock Lesnar. It's interesting that you'd leave Cesaro and his manager off Raw but have him on Smackdown. Whatever. Cesaro squashes R-Truth almost as efficiently as Rusev has. Remember when Smackdown was "the wrestling show"?
Match Rating: *
We next get the same flashback as the one with which we opened the show. The Daniel Bryan one. The one we've already seen. Ugh. Why? We also get an update -- or a promise of an update -- on both Bryan and the WWE Championship. That'll happen on Raw, because Raw is the important show.
John Cena (with The Usos) vs. Erick Rowan (with Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper)
Bray Wyatt decided that Rowan will face John Cena tonight. That means the conclusion is inevitable: Rowan will lose to Cena. I don't know if Rowan has even won a singles match in the WWE yet. It doesn't happen here. The two put on a decent match, although it pales in comparison to the one the two had before WrestleMania. The two supporting teams try to interfere but are taken out by one another, and Cena gets the win with the Attitude Adjustment to send Smackdown off the air.
Match Rating: **1/2
How many wasted points were there tonight? Far, far too many.
The Good: Damien Sandow. Opening match.
The Bad: Short, wasted matches throughout the whole night. The repeated flashback.
Match of the Night: Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Usos.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.