Spoilers follow for the May 2nd episode of Smackdown.
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Isn't it great when the first five minutes of Smackdown consist of nothing but flashbacks to previous weeks? Oh, wait, that's not good at all. My mistake. It's actually very annoying. We're watching, WWE. Big events aren't easily forgotten. The Evolution vs. Shield match at Extreme Rules isn't something we completely forgot is happening. Anyway, this week's Smackdown opens with exactly that. We get to see almost the entirety of the Evolution/Shield feud. To open the show. I almost lost interest right there.
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan, Luke Harper) vs The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) and Sheamus
Apparently there's some justification for this match, as things happened on Main Event that lead to it, but when Main Event isn't available to watch in anywhere but America, it feels very poorly justified. Whatever. It's not like we need a reason to see this match. It's a good enough one to happen and we can be happy that it exists. All of the Superstars (but Sheamus) are good in the ring, The Usos need another match because apparently they're not getting one at Extreme Rules, and building up the Wyatt Family even more is never a bad thing.
The only puzzling thing is why one of the Usos decided to attack the Wyatt Family after the match. There wasn't much reason for it, and it seemed uncharacteristic for the Usos. It allowed the Wyatt Family to retaliate -- perhaps WWE didn't want them to instigate any post-match battles -- and look strong, but the Usos? It doesn't make sense.
The official contract signing is up next. For what match? The WeeLC match at Extreme Rules -- well, on the pre-show, which non-Americans can't see -- between Hornswoggle and El Torito. Vickie Guerrero is in the ring to do it. Some random talk happens, Vickie makes a short joke, and eventually 3MB and Los Matadores trade punches. El Torito eventually lands a very impressive springboard move to the outside, reminding us that he's actually very athletic. He should win the WWLC match, but with a Hornswoggle-starring Leprechaun movie coming out soon, its star will likely be getting a push.
Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger
Before the match starts, Cesaro and Paul Heyman come out. Heyman is on commentary, and it takes 30 seconds before we hear how Brock Lesnar etc. RVD and Swagger get a couple of spots in before a very quick finish. Maybe the match was edited for time constraints, or it was just short and used to build up the triple threat at Extreme Rules. Cesaro rushes the ring after the match and attacks RVD. I can't think of a less interesting thing than adding RVD to the one between Swagger and Cesaro.
Alexander Rusev (with Lana) vs. R-Truth (with Xavier Woods)
It seems a bit early on the card for our Rusev match, but such is life. Rusev and R-Truth trade a few blows before Woods gets Truth disqualified. Woods and Truth hit Rusev out of the ring and then keep him out of it whenever he tries to get back in. And that's it. We're trying to give the Extreme Rules match a little bit of doubt, but we all know Rusev is going to win, right?
Daniel Bryan comes out afterward (without Brie Bella) to cut a promo about ... I can't remember. Kane interrupts via the Jumbotron, and reminds us how awesome Kane with his mask is. How did he become more athletic and a better promo-cutter simply by putting on a mask, while also undoing all of the damage the "corporate Kane" character did in the process? Well, that happened. The segment ends with the ring posts spewing fire, because it's Kane.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
Damien Sandow is still dressed as Magneto. The commentators claim that some of his moves now have Magneto-themed names. Is this going to be a constant thing? It's so stupid. Both Ziggler and Sandow are better than this. Ziggler wins, because Sandow is the most buried of the two. Sandow manages to keep a straight face for the match's entirety, which is no small feat. Is he secretly the best actor in WWE?
Big E vs. Titus O'Neil
Remember how on Raw, Titus O'Neil -- the newly revamped Titus O'Neil, we keep being told -- lost to Sheamus after one move? That happened. How are we supposed to take him seriously here? Admittedly, he does more in this match, matching Big E's physicality and getting a couple of very aggressive moves in. And then he gets disqualified, Big E starts beating him up, and he once again looks like a fool. I get that Big E needs something to make him look imposing and like Bad News Barrett might not win at Extreme Rules, but that's another sure thing, I think.
Bray Wyatt cuts a promo about nothing in particular. I'm convinced that he never says much of value, but sounds like he does every time. He's so charismatic. I love listening to him. But even a few minutes after he's done talking, I can't remember a single thing he said.
WWE United States Championship Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Curtis Axel vs. Ryback
Dean Ambrose had not had a great deal of title defenses during his reign as champion. The belt has been wasted on him. Yet, WWE doesn't seem to want him to lose it. Here, he's put in a match against three heels, making the odds seem insurmountable, and yet there never seemed to be a lot of doubt during the match. The three gang up on Ambrose constantly, and throw him out of the ring more than a couple of times, and yet the match never seems like it'll be won by anyone else, especially because it would seem to weaken The Shield right before a PPV.
This isn't a great match. It's a bunch of midcarders at best in a messy match. It doesn't have a lot of drama and it was missing some big spots that would have helped. The finish comes with Ryback looking like he'll get the win, Axel pulling him out of the ring -- they had better not be teasing a RybAxel break-up -- and then Ambrose getting a roll-up on Axel to retain. We could do something with the championship by giving it to someone like Del Rio, but let's give it to someone who barely defends it and whose championship reign is an afterthought. WWE logic, folks.
The remaining Shield members come down and triple powerbomb Ryback to end the show, because they must look strong. This is the last show before Extreme Rules.
The Good: Kane/Bryan promo. Wyatt promo. Usos/Wyatt match.
The Bad: Handling of the United States Championship. Magneto Sandow. Titus O'Neil's "push." WeeLC contract signing. RybAxel split being teased?
Match of the Night: The Usos vs. The Wyatt Family.
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http://i55.servimg.com/u/f55/16/09/70/40/smackd10.png
Isn't it great when the first five minutes of Smackdown consist of nothing but flashbacks to previous weeks? Oh, wait, that's not good at all. My mistake. It's actually very annoying. We're watching, WWE. Big events aren't easily forgotten. The Evolution vs. Shield match at Extreme Rules isn't something we completely forgot is happening. Anyway, this week's Smackdown opens with exactly that. We get to see almost the entirety of the Evolution/Shield feud. To open the show. I almost lost interest right there.
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Erick Rowan, Luke Harper) vs The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso) and Sheamus
Apparently there's some justification for this match, as things happened on Main Event that lead to it, but when Main Event isn't available to watch in anywhere but America, it feels very poorly justified. Whatever. It's not like we need a reason to see this match. It's a good enough one to happen and we can be happy that it exists. All of the Superstars (but Sheamus) are good in the ring, The Usos need another match because apparently they're not getting one at Extreme Rules, and building up the Wyatt Family even more is never a bad thing.
The only puzzling thing is why one of the Usos decided to attack the Wyatt Family after the match. There wasn't much reason for it, and it seemed uncharacteristic for the Usos. It allowed the Wyatt Family to retaliate -- perhaps WWE didn't want them to instigate any post-match battles -- and look strong, but the Usos? It doesn't make sense.
The official contract signing is up next. For what match? The WeeLC match at Extreme Rules -- well, on the pre-show, which non-Americans can't see -- between Hornswoggle and El Torito. Vickie Guerrero is in the ring to do it. Some random talk happens, Vickie makes a short joke, and eventually 3MB and Los Matadores trade punches. El Torito eventually lands a very impressive springboard move to the outside, reminding us that he's actually very athletic. He should win the WWLC match, but with a Hornswoggle-starring Leprechaun movie coming out soon, its star will likely be getting a push.
Rob Van Dam vs. Jack Swagger
Before the match starts, Cesaro and Paul Heyman come out. Heyman is on commentary, and it takes 30 seconds before we hear how Brock Lesnar etc. RVD and Swagger get a couple of spots in before a very quick finish. Maybe the match was edited for time constraints, or it was just short and used to build up the triple threat at Extreme Rules. Cesaro rushes the ring after the match and attacks RVD. I can't think of a less interesting thing than adding RVD to the one between Swagger and Cesaro.
Alexander Rusev (with Lana) vs. R-Truth (with Xavier Woods)
It seems a bit early on the card for our Rusev match, but such is life. Rusev and R-Truth trade a few blows before Woods gets Truth disqualified. Woods and Truth hit Rusev out of the ring and then keep him out of it whenever he tries to get back in. And that's it. We're trying to give the Extreme Rules match a little bit of doubt, but we all know Rusev is going to win, right?
Daniel Bryan comes out afterward (without Brie Bella) to cut a promo about ... I can't remember. Kane interrupts via the Jumbotron, and reminds us how awesome Kane with his mask is. How did he become more athletic and a better promo-cutter simply by putting on a mask, while also undoing all of the damage the "corporate Kane" character did in the process? Well, that happened. The segment ends with the ring posts spewing fire, because it's Kane.
Dolph Ziggler vs. Damien Sandow
Damien Sandow is still dressed as Magneto. The commentators claim that some of his moves now have Magneto-themed names. Is this going to be a constant thing? It's so stupid. Both Ziggler and Sandow are better than this. Ziggler wins, because Sandow is the most buried of the two. Sandow manages to keep a straight face for the match's entirety, which is no small feat. Is he secretly the best actor in WWE?
Big E vs. Titus O'Neil
Remember how on Raw, Titus O'Neil -- the newly revamped Titus O'Neil, we keep being told -- lost to Sheamus after one move? That happened. How are we supposed to take him seriously here? Admittedly, he does more in this match, matching Big E's physicality and getting a couple of very aggressive moves in. And then he gets disqualified, Big E starts beating him up, and he once again looks like a fool. I get that Big E needs something to make him look imposing and like Bad News Barrett might not win at Extreme Rules, but that's another sure thing, I think.
Bray Wyatt cuts a promo about nothing in particular. I'm convinced that he never says much of value, but sounds like he does every time. He's so charismatic. I love listening to him. But even a few minutes after he's done talking, I can't remember a single thing he said.
WWE United States Championship Match: Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio vs. Curtis Axel vs. Ryback
Dean Ambrose had not had a great deal of title defenses during his reign as champion. The belt has been wasted on him. Yet, WWE doesn't seem to want him to lose it. Here, he's put in a match against three heels, making the odds seem insurmountable, and yet there never seemed to be a lot of doubt during the match. The three gang up on Ambrose constantly, and throw him out of the ring more than a couple of times, and yet the match never seems like it'll be won by anyone else, especially because it would seem to weaken The Shield right before a PPV.
This isn't a great match. It's a bunch of midcarders at best in a messy match. It doesn't have a lot of drama and it was missing some big spots that would have helped. The finish comes with Ryback looking like he'll get the win, Axel pulling him out of the ring -- they had better not be teasing a RybAxel break-up -- and then Ambrose getting a roll-up on Axel to retain. We could do something with the championship by giving it to someone like Del Rio, but let's give it to someone who barely defends it and whose championship reign is an afterthought. WWE logic, folks.
The remaining Shield members come down and triple powerbomb Ryback to end the show, because they must look strong. This is the last show before Extreme Rules.
The Good: Kane/Bryan promo. Wyatt promo. Usos/Wyatt match.
The Bad: Handling of the United States Championship. Magneto Sandow. Titus O'Neil's "push." WeeLC contract signing. RybAxel split being teased?
Match of the Night: The Usos vs. The Wyatt Family.
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.