Spoilers follow for the May 9th episode of Smackdown.
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At one point in time, there were some people who watched Smackdown but didn't watch Raw. The vice versa was also true, of course, but doesn't help the point I'm making. If a storyline involved both shows, it would make sense to have a replay on the other show in order to recap it for the people who didn't watch both. Without the brand split, this audience has been greatly reduced. The people who watch Smackdown but not Raw are few (the opposite probably has greater numbers, as Smackdown frequently offers a worse product). Opening your show with a recap of the Monday night offering just reminds us that Smackdown is seen as a lesser show. Dedicating more or less an entire segment later in the night -- one that's advertised more than once -- for a simple recap is inexcusable. (I will continue to harp on this if it's something the WWE wants to keep doing.)
The point I'm making is that Smackdown didn't start with a match, but a 4-minute replay of the Evolution/Shield angle that the whole wrestling community knows like the back of their hand.
WWE United States Championship Match: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
This is a great match and deserved to open the show, not play second fiddle to a flashback to something we've already seen. Dean Ambrose gets his rematch for the United States Championship, and looks to be nursing a rib injury -- that Michael Cole thinks is a shoulder injury at the beginning of the match, because it's Michael Cole. Sheamus shows a more technical side to his game in this bout, and it definitely make him look more impressive in the ring. I've been critical of Sheamus in the past -- not so much for anything he's done than the "brawler" Superstar in general -- but if this is the type of match he's going to deliver as champion, I can support his reign. Ambrose put up a good fight, but lost after two consecutive Brogue Kicks.
Match Rating: ****
Rob Van Dam and Big E vs. Cesaro and Bad News Barrett
On paper, this seems like a good idea for a match. Big E and Bad News Barrett are going to be feuding over the Intercontinental Championship, while Rob Van Dam and Cesaro are in a battle because ... reasons, I guess. But in execution, the match doesn't work. The primary reason for this is because it wasn't given enough time. The match lasted about five minutes, and consisted almost solely of signature spots. Paul Heyman was on commentary, but spent most of the time heckling Michael Cole (we can all get behind that). None of the men impressed, and there was no time to allow for a proper pace. The best moment came when Bad News Barrett made fun of Van Dam's "R.V.D." taunt. Sadly, he was interrupted.
Match Rating: **
Kofi Kingston vs. Rusev (with Lana)
I think they should try to get a #RacistRusev hashtag going on the Twitter, because it seems like the only people Rusev will feud with are Black men. Actually, that might speak more toward how WWE treats its Black Superstars, as most of them are currently in "jobber" territory. Huh. Anyway, Rusev destroys Kofi in a boring squash match that was nowhere near how strong their Raw match was. The commentators billed it as Rusev learning from that match and scouting Kofi, but that's hard to buy.
Match Rating: *
Bray Wyatt appears on the Titantron after the match and cuts a short promo. Again, I don't retain much of what he says. It ends with Luke Harper saying a single word: "burn." Fine.
Fandango and Layla vs. Santino Marella and Emma
WHY IS THIS FEUD STILL GOING ON? SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP IT. I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE. FANDANGO WAS KILLED BY THE SHIELD.
Layla wins with a rollup on Emma after landing exactly zero moves on her opponent, because a rollup can be an insta-win if the writers want it to be.
Match Rating: *
Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry
Mark Henry isn't a strong in-ring worker anymore. Roman Reigns is still learning. As you can expect, this match wasn't any good. Henry dominates most of it, landing incredibly simple move after simple move. Reigns hits about four moves before winning with a Samoan drop followed by a spear. The match showcased his strength one time and that's all it was meant to do, I think.
Match Rating: **
3MB (Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Hornswoggle) vs. Los Matadores (Diego, Fernando, El Torito)
It's amazing how this feud is exciting or interesting at all, but it sort of is. Yes, it's gimmicky as all get-out, and it's something of a joke, but El Torito and Hornswoggle are certainly trying hard in the ring, and some of the spots that the groups have been involved in have been phenomenal. This match ... is nothing much at all. El Torito pins Heath Slater for the win. And, you know what? I'd like to see El Torito get some shots at main roster competitors. He has the athleticism to pull it off, and there's some potential in those types of matches. I don't know if there's any precedent for that, but it would be something worth trying off.
Match Rating: **
Seth Rollins vs. Batista
Each member of The Shield gets a singles match tonight. I wonder when that last happened? Rollins is probably the most athletic member of The Shield, but against someone like Batista, that didn't come up that often. The men trade blows, but this is a pretty dull match. The men don't seem to have a lot of chemistry, and we don't get to see either man's skillset. The end comes with a big spot in which Rollins dives from the top rope to the outside but is slammed into the announcer table. He loses by count out. Batista then Batista Bombs him, because he's Batista and that's a thing he does as a heel.
Match Rating: **
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan) vs. John Cena and The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Remember when each individual member of the Wyatt Family fought John Cena, and each one looked strong and great matches were had? What happened? The Wyatt Family, starting with the Extreme Rules match, looks weak. Cena starts the match and beats up both Harper and Rowan, before tagging out and letting the Usos fight for most of the match. Bray Wyatt isn't involved much, either, presumably because you don't want to injure the "important" Superstars on Smackdown.
This is a fine main event, but it's not great. The Usos fail to excite when being dominated by much bigger men, and that's what happens here. Harper and Rowan beat up The Usos until the very end. The Usos gain a bit of momentum, everyone is taken out, and then Harper hits a clothesline on one of the Usos for the victory. A clothesline. That's his finisher? I don't remember the last time Harper was the victor in a match, or even tried to hit a finisher. I guess that's it. Huh.
Match Rating: ***
It's here we conclude a lackluster Smackdown that did nothing for all involved. Hooray!
The Good: Sheamus/Ambrose. El Torito.
The Bad: FANDANGO/LAYLA VS. SANTINO/EMMA IS STILL A THING? Rusev squash. Second match not getting enough time. All of the Raw replays.
Match of the Night: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
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http://i55.servimg.com/u/f55/16/09/70/40/smackd10.png
At one point in time, there were some people who watched Smackdown but didn't watch Raw. The vice versa was also true, of course, but doesn't help the point I'm making. If a storyline involved both shows, it would make sense to have a replay on the other show in order to recap it for the people who didn't watch both. Without the brand split, this audience has been greatly reduced. The people who watch Smackdown but not Raw are few (the opposite probably has greater numbers, as Smackdown frequently offers a worse product). Opening your show with a recap of the Monday night offering just reminds us that Smackdown is seen as a lesser show. Dedicating more or less an entire segment later in the night -- one that's advertised more than once -- for a simple recap is inexcusable. (I will continue to harp on this if it's something the WWE wants to keep doing.)
The point I'm making is that Smackdown didn't start with a match, but a 4-minute replay of the Evolution/Shield angle that the whole wrestling community knows like the back of their hand.
WWE United States Championship Match: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
This is a great match and deserved to open the show, not play second fiddle to a flashback to something we've already seen. Dean Ambrose gets his rematch for the United States Championship, and looks to be nursing a rib injury -- that Michael Cole thinks is a shoulder injury at the beginning of the match, because it's Michael Cole. Sheamus shows a more technical side to his game in this bout, and it definitely make him look more impressive in the ring. I've been critical of Sheamus in the past -- not so much for anything he's done than the "brawler" Superstar in general -- but if this is the type of match he's going to deliver as champion, I can support his reign. Ambrose put up a good fight, but lost after two consecutive Brogue Kicks.
Match Rating: ****
Rob Van Dam and Big E vs. Cesaro and Bad News Barrett
On paper, this seems like a good idea for a match. Big E and Bad News Barrett are going to be feuding over the Intercontinental Championship, while Rob Van Dam and Cesaro are in a battle because ... reasons, I guess. But in execution, the match doesn't work. The primary reason for this is because it wasn't given enough time. The match lasted about five minutes, and consisted almost solely of signature spots. Paul Heyman was on commentary, but spent most of the time heckling Michael Cole (we can all get behind that). None of the men impressed, and there was no time to allow for a proper pace. The best moment came when Bad News Barrett made fun of Van Dam's "R.V.D." taunt. Sadly, he was interrupted.
Match Rating: **
Kofi Kingston vs. Rusev (with Lana)
I think they should try to get a #RacistRusev hashtag going on the Twitter, because it seems like the only people Rusev will feud with are Black men. Actually, that might speak more toward how WWE treats its Black Superstars, as most of them are currently in "jobber" territory. Huh. Anyway, Rusev destroys Kofi in a boring squash match that was nowhere near how strong their Raw match was. The commentators billed it as Rusev learning from that match and scouting Kofi, but that's hard to buy.
Match Rating: *
Bray Wyatt appears on the Titantron after the match and cuts a short promo. Again, I don't retain much of what he says. It ends with Luke Harper saying a single word: "burn." Fine.
Fandango and Layla vs. Santino Marella and Emma
WHY IS THIS FEUD STILL GOING ON? SOMEBODY PLEASE STOP IT. I THOUGHT WE WERE DONE. FANDANGO WAS KILLED BY THE SHIELD.
Layla wins with a rollup on Emma after landing exactly zero moves on her opponent, because a rollup can be an insta-win if the writers want it to be.
Match Rating: *
Roman Reigns vs. Mark Henry
Mark Henry isn't a strong in-ring worker anymore. Roman Reigns is still learning. As you can expect, this match wasn't any good. Henry dominates most of it, landing incredibly simple move after simple move. Reigns hits about four moves before winning with a Samoan drop followed by a spear. The match showcased his strength one time and that's all it was meant to do, I think.
Match Rating: **
3MB (Drew McIntyre, Heath Slater, Hornswoggle) vs. Los Matadores (Diego, Fernando, El Torito)
It's amazing how this feud is exciting or interesting at all, but it sort of is. Yes, it's gimmicky as all get-out, and it's something of a joke, but El Torito and Hornswoggle are certainly trying hard in the ring, and some of the spots that the groups have been involved in have been phenomenal. This match ... is nothing much at all. El Torito pins Heath Slater for the win. And, you know what? I'd like to see El Torito get some shots at main roster competitors. He has the athleticism to pull it off, and there's some potential in those types of matches. I don't know if there's any precedent for that, but it would be something worth trying off.
Match Rating: **
Seth Rollins vs. Batista
Each member of The Shield gets a singles match tonight. I wonder when that last happened? Rollins is probably the most athletic member of The Shield, but against someone like Batista, that didn't come up that often. The men trade blows, but this is a pretty dull match. The men don't seem to have a lot of chemistry, and we don't get to see either man's skillset. The end comes with a big spot in which Rollins dives from the top rope to the outside but is slammed into the announcer table. He loses by count out. Batista then Batista Bombs him, because he's Batista and that's a thing he does as a heel.
Match Rating: **
The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, Erick Rowan) vs. John Cena and The Usos (Jimmy and Jey Uso)
Remember when each individual member of the Wyatt Family fought John Cena, and each one looked strong and great matches were had? What happened? The Wyatt Family, starting with the Extreme Rules match, looks weak. Cena starts the match and beats up both Harper and Rowan, before tagging out and letting the Usos fight for most of the match. Bray Wyatt isn't involved much, either, presumably because you don't want to injure the "important" Superstars on Smackdown.
This is a fine main event, but it's not great. The Usos fail to excite when being dominated by much bigger men, and that's what happens here. Harper and Rowan beat up The Usos until the very end. The Usos gain a bit of momentum, everyone is taken out, and then Harper hits a clothesline on one of the Usos for the victory. A clothesline. That's his finisher? I don't remember the last time Harper was the victor in a match, or even tried to hit a finisher. I guess that's it. Huh.
Match Rating: ***
It's here we conclude a lackluster Smackdown that did nothing for all involved. Hooray!
The Good: Sheamus/Ambrose. El Torito.
The Bad: FANDANGO/LAYLA VS. SANTINO/EMMA IS STILL A THING? Rusev squash. Second match not getting enough time. All of the Raw replays.
Match of the Night: Sheamus vs. Dean Ambrose
<color=D6D9DA>_________________________________________________________________________________
If you wish to be notified whenever I post something new, please join this <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/groups/view/2-50-Reviews>user group.
For an archive of all my previous WWE reviews, please go <url=http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.846764-Marters-WWE-Reviews-Archive>here.
Talk to me on the Twitter, <url=https://twitter.com/martertweet>@martertweet.
