So, I just got hit by a van...

[unindexedsearchengine]

Oh boy, I've broken so many bones (most of them multiple times) I'm surprised my skeleton didn't quit yet on the grounds of hostile work environment.

Something must be up with me left leg as on two occasions from the many, my reaction to the break was laughing. This one time my brother pushed me off a cliff (accidentally, and it was a small cliff, but still) and on the way down a bush wrapped itself around my leg which, while abruptly stopping my fall, broke my leg because physics.
This other time I slipped while at home and whacked my leg at the frame of a door. Yes people, I broke my leg by running into an open door.

Also my nose has broken so many times that the bone pretty much went "fuck this" and refused to fuse back together, so now my nose is in 2 pieces and can bend in unnatural directions.

I practice Kali, a filipino martial art, and some of the exercises we basically cause microfractures in or arms to make the bone more dense, but I guess that doesn't count.

Not a break, but I once miscalculated the angle of a slope while riding some wheeled vehicle (forgot what kind), fell and slid down on my knees, sanding them right off and leaving two streaks of blood and skin on the pavement.

And people wonder why I stick to video games and writing nowadays.
Oh, wait, there's martial arts...

 

[RedDeadFred]

People regularly back into the street in my town without looking. When I first came here, I was always wondering why people drove a good 30 km/h under the speed limit. After my first incident, I now know that it's because people give zero fucks when back onto main street. My car was only dented slightly on the front bumper and the guy just offered to give me some cash after getting an estimate for repairs. A nice, older fellow. Just woefully oblivious to all other drivers.

Anyway, here's a tune to help cheer you up!

 

[Ambitiousmould]

Stepped into the road at 9 years old. Saw a taxi too late, I tried to step backwards, slipped, feet went forwards so one of my feet got crushed. That was pretty shitty but it was only a hairline fracture on one toe. I did more damage when I sprained my ankle a couple of years later by running into a tree. God I was retarded. It was my fault, not the Taxi driver's at all. I was a small kid who stepped out from behind a van without looking about 15 feet from where the taxi was currently doing about 20mph, and he was so mortified that he literally couldn't move. It was his passenger that got out to see if I was fine. I never got to apologise, but my mother talked to him.

Also I once went down a very steep hill while laid down facing up the hill on a sled (I say sled, it was a skateboard with no wheels, but it went like shit off a shovel) and hit the corner of a piece of steel welded to the stand of a bin. With my head. Luckily there wasn't any damage besides a flash of white and suddenly being farther down the hill than I remember travelling. Again, I might as well have been retarded.

In fact, despite numerous accidents I've only ever broken one bone (as mentioned above). I imagine it's because I drink at least a pint of milk a day (Fuck you, 18 year olds need their strong bones too, not just the little bastards in the Dairylea adverts).

And as long as you're alright, your accident probably looked "pretty rad" as some people in Americaland might say.

 

[Saetha]

Heh, I was apparently a massive klutz when I was little. I was too young to remember all of this, but according to my parents, when I was learning to walk, I fell down into a sliding glass door. Split my head open and had to go to the ER.

Then a few months later, I tripped again and fell into a staircase. Split head, ER visit.

Then a few months after THAT, some dick at my daycare pushed me into a bookcase and... yep, split head, ER visit.

Frankly it's a miracle I retain basic brain function.

Haven't broken a bone since then, though!

Funnily enough, my boyfriend's dad ran over my foot with his car the other day when he was dropping me to the airport.

I was getting my bag from the back seat and he moved the car forward over my foot. I can walk on it fine but I have a tyre mark bruise on my foot!

I don't think he likes me. :/

Hey, I had a babysitter run over my foot with her Jeep when I was ten. She was picking me up from band practice, and I was putting my instrument in the back when she heard the door shut, thought I was in, and started driving off. It actually didn't hurt that much, but I played up the pain enough that she bought me a McFlurry AND did all my chores!

...Look, I was a manipulative little shit when I was ten, okay? And McFlurries were the only currency I traded in.

 

[Veldel]

BURNING RAGE

I would of done worse admittedly. I loath those type of ppl.


while not a crash part see I have made it clear I will not tolerate texting and driving. My niece wrecked 3 times I know of so far from it and still dues it.


My ex roommate hated it but didn't fight it because he knew I was right.



To anyone and everyone who text and drive FUCK YOU I HOPE YOUR ALL BANNED FROM DRIVING FOR LIFE.

 

[Callate]

A few years ago, en route to filing an accident report at a courthouse, I got rear-ended at a red light.

The accident I was going to report was the only accident in which I had been behind the wheel in more than sixteen years of being an insured driver. The insurance company ruled I was entirely not at fault; the driver of the van coming the other way (who made an illegal left turn) didn't have insurance.

The weasel who rear-ended me also did not have insurance, but lied. Last I heard, he's in jail.

...That was a fun week, let me tell you.

No broken teeth, though, just bruises. Sympathies for your injuries. Spend time with sympathetic friends, it helps.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

One morning I was riding my bicycle to school when somebody turning out of a convenience store's parking lot without looking slammed right into me at about 15 MPH. My bike was ruined (wheel and frame both bent); I didn't have so much as a bruise. I had to call my father to bring his truck to pick up my bike and drive me to school.

The funny thing is that I had a weird sort of premonition before I left home that I should take a different route to school, but it would've taken longer and I was running late as it was.

 

[Isalan]

Hmmmm. I never really injured myself until I started riding a motorbike. First time I hurt myself, braked hard on a patch of ice, bike went one way, I went the other and had the bad judgement to throw my arms out in front of me to break the fall. Instead, I broke both my arms (right shoulder, left wrist, so I had one working arm between 2), turns out tucking your arms in if your about to hit something hard is the way to go.

Almost, exactly a year later (within 5 days iirc) I was going round the roundabout near my work, when a 2 hour old Audi A6 and the feckless dipshit inside decided waiting patiently was for chumps and pulled out in front of me. Mullered the front right wing of his car, but also broke my pelvis.

I guess the lesson here is this. If you end up in deep with the mob, and they give you a choice of breaking your arms or your pelvis, go for arms. Pelvis doesn't seem to bad, but there's a lot of muscles that connect down there.

 

[Little Woodsman]

I was once hit by an SUV while I was walking... knocked down & skidded 17 feet on my back... fortunately wearing a backpack that had the metal pan from the potluck I had recently attended in it, that bore the brunt of the damage.
The accident was my fault, I was crossing the street in a bad place and not paying enough attention to the traffic because I was in a hurry to reach a friend who I was very worried about.
This happened on Dec 23rd of that year.. made a great conversation starter for the next couple of months "I just wanted a variation of the old Elvis song!".

 

[soren7550]

Oh dear, I hope that you were able to get medical help.

Years back when I was in middle school, I was hit by a pickup while walking to school. Reasonably certain I was anyway, as I don't remember getting hit, only crossing the street and then having to get up off the ground while the onlookers were freaking out. Because I was worried that I'd get in trouble, I just kept walking to school.

And to make you feel a bit better, well... how about these?:

 

[Something Amyss]

I got hit by a car once. Got flipped in the air and ended up with the back side of my body being like 90% bruise. Also bit into one of my lips.

But that's not going to make you feel better. So here's the requested picture....

Spoiler: Image was bigger than I thought

You did say Slender Man, right?

 

[mysecondlife]

I was cycling downhill when a truck came out of nowhere and swerved in front of me. I made a quick turn, lost control of my bike and crashed into a street vendor. Had cuts on my cheeks and inside my mouth.

Friends were extra nice to me for couple of days so that's good.
--
I was snowboarding when someone came up fast behind me and chipped my shin with his snowboard. It was pretty bad enough that I was able to see large part of my shinbone. Rescue person came to get me and I was strapped to a sled lying down while the guy was at front guiding it downhill. That would have been pretty fun but all I could think about was that my leg hurt like hell. That was more than 10 years ago and I still have the scar.

I had the same thing happened to my teeth playing football at school without protective gear. Do they know if the roots on those teeth have died? 'Cause if so, your teeth may end up turning black.

Yikes. Similar story: When I was in high school, me and my friends decided to play football one night at the middleschool we used to go to. My friend was running to catch the ball that I threw when he tripped over something (we couldn't see because it was dark). Turns out what he tripped over was a bench that was newly installed after we left middleschool. He ended up with a concussion.

Him: Hey is Karen here?
me: No Karen isn't here. Its just us guys.
Him: Oh. What's in my pocket? OMG its a cellphone! I didn't know I had a cellphone. This is soo cool!
Me: Uh... dude?
*5 minutes later*
Him: Hey is Karen here?
me: No... Karen isn't here.
Him: Strange, I could have sworn Karen was here.. What's in my pocket? Gasp! Is that a cellphone??
me: ....shit

So don't play football in the dark.. Its dangerous.

Funnily enough, my boyfriend's dad ran over my foot with his car the other day when he was dropping me to the airport.

I was getting my bag from the back seat and he moved the car forward over my foot. I can walk on it fine but I have a tyre mark bruise on my foot!

I don't think he likes me. :/

If he drove you to the airport and didn't charge you any money... he likes you.

Spoiler: something that I'm reminded of

 

[FPLOON]

Reminds me when I first learned how to ride a bike... Crashed into a nearby fountain and flipped into the street... I was lucky enough that no one was driving down the street that day or else I would have had more than just a few scraps on my back and a minor concussion...

With that said...

Spoiler: SpiderPINGAS!

http://i2.ytimg.com/vi/QBZClr7eDHA/hqdefault.jpg

Spoiler: (Not) Spiderman?

http://i.imgur.com/2OoZIN4.jpg

Spoiler: Spiderman, why did you ride that through the aisles again?

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/315/870/445.jpg

Also, a mashup:

 

[Evonisia]

Your wish is my command.

Spoiler: Spoilers for everyone