So... I think I might have walked in on my mom and her boyfriend getting intimate...

[game-lover]

It's after 2am over here and I thought I heard a strange noise. I usually check up on her when I hear strange noises 'cause he's got lung issues and we're all a little paranoid about how her breathing goes and whatever. Like if she's choking in bed or something.

Anyway, usually the door is locked when they're busy so when I turn the knob, I thought it was a go. Especially since as far as I know, boyfriend wasn't here. So I open the door and the lights are all off so it's in shadow and I'm not wearing my glasses and things look suspect...

Naturally, I close the door immediately and I think I hear him say "oops" afterwards. And I sorta just stand around for a few moments kinda... at a loss.

So now I'm sorta wondering if I saw what I did. No one has come in to say anything. Granted I'm 25 years old... but I got a mini convo over the potential of me overhearing things. So I would expect. More to the point... I always imagined I'd react to this situation a lot more dramatically...

Am I in shock? Just confused? Something else? Or was I just assuming I'd be more dramatic because I'm young or something? I just felt I had to tell someone. Even if it's strangers on the internet.


Meanwhile, for some value... have you guys seen someone you know being intimate? I'm pretty sure the answer is yes because I remember seeing mention in some threads. But I'm sure we had no deets.

Therefore, here is your chance to give me some. How did you react? And in comparison to my reaction, was it similar, different? Would you consider any reaction strange or normal? Or is there no such thing as normal in such a factor?

 

[Colour Scientist]

They're probably feeling a little embarrassed that you walked in on them.
What would you expect them to say to you?

Why did you think you'd react more dramatically?
Television?

I don't see why you would react dramatically, you're aware your mom has a boyfriend, they're two consenting adults and you're 25 years old.

 

[DementedSheep]

I don't know why you would expect it to be more dramatic. I walked in on my parents when I was 15 or so and it's awkward and embarrassing but not a major deal, especially not if your 25. I think most people would just ignore what happened. Nothing needs to be said.

 

[Someone Depressing]

I suppose you wouldn't be in much shock because, somehwere, in the back of your mind, you probably suspected it in some way or another. Or you were expecting something disturbing or strange in the first place, that was more complicated than her lung issues.

I did once walk in on my sister.

It was not nice.

It forever tainted my view of the female body.

Help.

 

[Elfgore]

I walked in on my sister giving a BJ to her boyfriend... On the living room couch. I had come down to grab a soda and even after I walked in on it, I don't say a word and grabbed what I wanted then went back upstairs. Luckily she was under the covers.

Rule number one about this stuff so it doesn't become weird or awkward, is to never mention it. Ever.

 

[Lieju]

Well, when I walked in my mom and her boyfriend having sex, I told them to keep it down since I was trying to sleep.

It's not something I want to see, but I was aware they were having sex, so it's not like I was shocked or anything.

 

[Eamar]

Others have said it, but this is one of those things you just don't bring up. It happens, no one needs to have some huge sit-down family discussion about how everyone feels about it.

I'm not sure why you'd expect to have a more dramatic reaction... you're 25, you were aware they're in a sexual relationship, you know the guy involved is your mum's boyfriend (it's not like you discovered an affair or something). I mean, of course you're not going to be over the moon about walking in on them, but there's no need for it to have any sort of "dramatic" impact on you.

Personally, I'm thankful for the fact that I've never walked in on a family member having sex. The closest experience I've had was finding condoms in my parents' room when I was about 12 and having to accept the fact that they were having sex at all

 

[Dascylus]

Harsh truths?

Your mum will continue to have sex.
As a human being with an adult child she has as much right as anyone to live her life exactly as she wishes.
There is a simple solution to avoid this in the future but I'm sure that with you being the age of 25 you can guess what I might suggest.

Until then, whilst your mum has her boyfriend over invest in a good set of headphones and give her some space.
I'm sure you love your mum and she is a wonderful person. She has found someone she wants to be intimate with and if you love her you should stay quiet and not make it awkward.

As for your own personal reaction. It goes like this "Ew, just caught my mum having sex. I should never tell anybody about this" then you go back to bed put on your headphones and watch whatever movie or play whichever game will best scrub the image from your mind.

 

[game-lover]

What would you expect them to say to you?

Why did you think you'd react more dramatically?
Television?

About 30 minutes ago, my mom came in and apologized. I was mostly sleep so she woke me up. But yeah, she said it was all on her because she usually tells me good night and locks the door when boyfriend is around so they won't be disturbed. And she didn't do that tonight.

Not a major conversation. I mentioned how it was dark, I didn't have my glasses on so I hadn't been sure what they were doing and yadda, yadda. She was glad because that meant I didn't really get any details and that was that. Now I can laugh about it.

So I guess when I thought of one of them saying something to me, it was a bit like that.

As for why I thought I'd be more dramatic about it? I mostly blame it on youth. Mom also told me that my brothers had a similar incident when they were quite younger and one of them ranted about going to have nightmares. So I think it was just me thinking and sort of "prepping" myself for it as I grew up. Psyched myself out.

I think it helps though that now that I look back on it, they'd basically like frozen in place by the time my eyes got on them so I didn't really SEE.

Rule number one about this stuff so it doesn't become weird or awkward, is to never mention it. Ever.

Well... we broke that rule... See above.

 

[Alcamonic]

Shit happens, it's not a big deal really. Of course they might feel awkward and it might be a little tense around the house for a few days.

On a bonus side, now they can't fault you for having sex at your place!

 

[Elfgore]

What would you expect them to say to you?

Why did you think you'd react more dramatically?
Television?

About 30 minutes ago, my mom came in and apologized. I was mostly sleep so she woke me up. But yeah, she said it was all on her because she usually tells me good night and locks the door when boyfriend is around so they won't be disturbed. And she didn't do that tonight.

Not a major conversation. I mentioned how it was dark, I didn't have my glasses on so I hadn't been sure what they were doing and yadda, yadda. She was glad because that meant I didn't really get any details and that was that. Now I can laugh about it.

So I guess when I thought of one of them saying something to me, it was a bit like that.

As for why I thought I'd be more dramatic about it? I mostly blame it on youth. Mom also told me that my brothers had a similar incident when they were quite younger and one of them ranted about going to have nightmares. So I think it was just me thinking and sort of "prepping" myself for it as I grew up. Psyched myself out.

I think it helps though that now that I look back on it, they'd basically like frozen in place by the time my eyes got on them so I didn't really SEE.

Rule number one about this stuff so it doesn't become weird or awkward, is to never mention it. Ever.

Well... we broke that rule... See above.

By that I mean with the person who you walked in on.

 

[Objectable]

Why didn't you stay? They probably feel bad that you didn't enjoy it.

 

[Xan Krieger]

I'd have started laughing at them, maybe because I'm immature or maybe because it'd kill the moment for them. Either way it'd be funny.

 

[ZZoMBiE13]

Am I in shock? Just confused? Something else? Or was I just assuming I'd be more dramatic because I'm young or something? I just felt I had to tell someone. Even if it's strangers on the internet.

I'd say that more likely than shock, you're just at the age where you should be old enough to realize that your mom is a person like any other. With needs and desires, hopes and dreams, the whole emotional spectrum. Just like you, me, and everyone else.

As for advice, you should be happy for your mother. Happy that she has someone to be with her, someone who hopefully cares about her. It's a good thing, even if it can be occasionally uncomfortable for you. I don't want to say something so glib as "get over it"... but hopefully you can. I don't mean that as a criticism however. Of course it can be a weird transition for anyone. For the first 20 years of a persons life, their parents are basically there to keep them safe, keep them from hurting themselves, guide them to make the right decisions, etc. But if you're 25, it's time for her to enjoy her own life and for you to begin yours.

I never had a "walk in" moment like you mentioned. But I was always an observant kid. I remember at 18 coming home and seeing 2 towels and only 1 washrag in the bathroom. The law of differential shower kit applies and it didn't take long to put 2 and 2 together. or "2 and 1" as it were. While it was a little bit of a slap in the face at first, I was actually happy that they were still having such intimacy. It was a bonding moment for my mother and I. But of course, I had to bust her chops about it just a bit, but that's just my family. She'd have done the same to me were the circumstances reversed.

 

[game-lover]

I wonder now based on all I've read so far if the fact that I mostly wish they weren't together influences me. Or if it even matters. I don't especially care that my mother has sex. At least not in their bedroom. I'd have issues knowing for certainty if she were anywhere else in the house because I am all kinds of a prude. Or is it frigid?

Still pretty sure it was just because I psyched myself out all this time that having it actually happen was sort of anticlimactic. I can laugh about it now. At least a little.

 

[Me55enger]

The risk you run of taking your social queues from anything other than life itself is that reactions tend to be very disappointing. Everything to saying "I love you" to walking in on folk having sex; the aftermath, the scene in your head, the emotion, the discomfort of knowledge, is harrowingly underwhelming.

 

[[REDACTED]]

Why didn't you stay? They probably feel bad that you didn't enjoy it.

Objectable, the way the world works in your porn collection is not how it works in reality.

 

[game-lover]

Granted I'm 25 years old...

How the fuck are you so insecure about your mom fucking at this age? She had to fuck to have you. You were eject from her belly after spending nearly a year in there. Chill. From the title I thought you were 13 or something. Stop over-thinking it. You could have just said "Oops, sorry.", and that would have been it. Just leave it.

If it is bothers you so much, is it possible for you to move out, maybe?

I never said it bothered me. And I wouldn't say I'm insecure about it either.

For me, it's like this. There's knowing your parents or someone you know is having sex. And then there's KNOWING they're having sex. I imagine the average person doesn't want to have the knowledge that say for example... At this exact moment right now, someone you know is having sex. Could be in the midst of it while we're on this website.

But as I've mentioned before, I wasn't sure what I saw and I'd always imagine ever since I was young that I'd react differently and it'd be a climactic sort of thing. But it wasn't and I had to deal with that in a way.

In any case, I'd have to suck it up anyway because I can't move out right now. The job I've got with the crappy hours isn't enough to even rent an apartment right now. I'll just have to make sure to knock pretty much all the time. Forever.