So my girlfriend...

[Iron Criterion]

Quit your job...simple...

By job he means your girlfriend.

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

It depends on how much she puts out, that's all.

 

[Super Toast]

She sounds clingy. Unless you really like her, I suggest that you tell her to take a hike.

 

[C4N4DUCK18]

In my opinion, as much as you want to stay with her, it isn't worth it to have her drag you away from everything that's important. If she can't get over the fact that she isn't the most important thing in your life, then move on. I know from personal experience that dating in school can really mess up your priorities (resulting in friendships going bad, sagging grades, etc.). If your almost done school and you don't have enough time for everything, it may be best to just break it off (at least till grad). If you really want to be with her, give yourself some time to finish what's ahead of you, then see if the relationship is worth it.

 

[harv3034]

Do your best to make her happy.

And if that isn't enough for her, let her see just how hard you are pushing yourself for her. Let her see that you are running yourself ragget trying to make her happy. With any luck, she will see how dedicated you are and will relax a little.

If not, well your on your oun then.


Oh, and why do so many people ask people on a site for game news for relationship advice? It just seems a bit odd to me.

 

[Folio]

I hate girlfriends like that.

It sounds harsh: She needs to grow up. I don't know what kind of girl she is. But doing something new every weekend (Whatever it may be, be it going to the movies or playing Monopoly.) should be enough.

She can't think of anything else but you, and that's sweet and all. But it isn't necassary.

 

[Cheesebob]

Get her a gimp suit and forget to unzip her

 

[Shycte]

If she ain't gonna show you the respect you need, there isn't much to it I'm afraid.

 

[Stryc9]

Get out now. Seriously. I've seen how this goes, if you give in to her and let her control who you hang out with and when you hang out with them soon you will have no friends left.

I know a guy who let this happen to him. Before he met his fiancee he used to hang out with my former friend (his older brother) and I. We'd play games and he'd help up us work on my friend's cars and such like. Then he met his woman and slowly he started spending more and more time with her until eventually it got to the point where he only left his room to go to work.

Now he's unemployed, has a kid with this *****, and can't even go to look for work, they all live with his parents now. If he steps out of their room there for more than 10 seconds she climbs down his throat like a rottweiler on some serious PMS. Once he managed to sneak out long enough to help with a go-kart project we were working on, once she discovered that he wasn't there she came out and yelled, "That's it! I'm done! I'm taking the kid and leaving, we're finished!", unfortunately she never did. Even with all the problems that come with having to deal with child support and custody and visitation I think he'd be better off than he is now.

So if you don't want to end up in a similar situation get out as quickly as possible. You'll be better off and someone better will come along. Someone who isn't so clingy and controlling.

 

[Mr Fixit]

Oh yeah she's actually told me not to hang out with my best friend, who I've known all my life, who just happens to be a girl. When she told me that, I was beyond pissed. She has more guy friends than girl friends. And my best friend is the only other girl I talk to besides her.

Major control problem, i've been in this situation before, it will not get better. Either she stops being obsessed or your gone, thats what i would tell her.

 

[Daverson]

Here's a festive Halloween themed suggestion!

Have her physically grafted onto you. The amount you'll get selling the unnecessary organs (I mean, if you only have one body between you, then you'll only need one set of lungs, one heart, one stomach etc.), the surgery more than pays for itself!

 

[Starke]

Wants me to spend every waking moment with her, when that's impossible, considering we don't live together, and that we have school and I have a job. But I make as much time for her as I can, but she doesn't think it's enough and I have no fucking idea what to do. Help?

hmm...

i had a girl friend (wich is my ex now) that said to me after ive been out with some friends watching a football match and drinking beer and its been a overall goodtime ... she says the next day "Instead of using your time and money on your friends, you should use it on me instead" i got pissed off and broke up with her then dont let your girlfriend control you, set boundaries

also... it worked out for the better feeling alot more free

I can kinda one up that one. I had an ex who freaked out, and claimed she'd been terrified something had happened to me because I was 20 or 30 minutes late driving home from school.

 

[Nannernade]

She seems to me like she is a very clingy person, maybe you should see a specialist to teach her that clinging to people is not healthy, either that or break up with her I s'pose.

 

[Woodsey]

Rate her from 1-10.

If she scores 8.5 or above, consider quitting your job.

 

[Starke]

Get out now. Seriously. I've seen how this goes, if you give in to her and let her control who you hang out with and when you hang out with them soon you will have no friends left.

I know a guy who let this happen to him. Before he met his fiancee he used to hang out with my former friend (his older brother) and I. We'd play games and he'd help up us work on my friend's cars and such like. Then he met his woman and slowly he started spending more and more time with her until eventually it got to the point where he only left his room to go to work.

Now he's unemployed, has a kid with this *****, and can't even go to look for work, they all live with his parents now. If he steps out of their room there for more than 10 seconds she climbs down his throat like a rottweiler on some serious PMS. Once he managed to sneak out long enough to help with a go-kart project we were working on, once she discovered that he wasn't there she came out and yelled, "That's it! I'm done! I'm taking the kid and leaving, we're finished!", unfortunately she never did. Even with all the problems that come with having to deal with child support and custody and visitation I think he'd be better off than he is now.

So if you don't want to end up in a similar situation get out as quickly as possible. You'll be better off and someone better will come along. Someone who isn't so clingy and controlling.

I'm going to second this one. I joke around with this and have never really go into details here, but, in essence that was what I would have been looking at if I hadn't learned she was fucking at least two other guys.

After we found out she was pregnant she was leaning on me to sell off... well... all my shit, basically. Not her stuff, mine. She even did sell off a bunch of VHS tapes of mine without my knowledge.

In my case, she decided it was better to go chasing after her ex who had a job (as opposed to my finishing up my AAS), she left me, and then leaked a story back to me, that she eventually told me directly, claiming she'd miscarried. Her ex stuck around just long enough to get a paternity test and told her to fuck off.

She then proceeded to come after me years later, and fucked up her case so badly when filing against me that the arbitration order basically read "you wanted a kid? Now you've got one, deal with it."

Oh, yes, and to those who're stalking me on here, this is the same Ex that shoved a loaded 9mm in my ear because "I didn't trust her anymore", having found out a day or two earlier that she was still fuckin' her ex.

 

[Kenbo Slice]

I concur with the above points about her being clingy and possessive etc. I think in a realistic and positive way of dealing with it however (as someone who used to be quite paranoid - actually no, I still am quite paranoid), there's ways to deal with this reassuringly.

You could reinforce (and stand firm about it too) that you want to hang out with your mates and you should do. The thing I had a problem with when I kinda used to do this was all I wanted was reassurance - if my boyfriend at the time had told me even the day before he was planning something that would have been awesome, but naaaah, he always left it until 5 minutes before whether or not he'd arranged something and it's kinda like this feeling of 'being let down'. I say just give her a heads up - not so much that she's like your mum and you have to tell her where you're going, just say "by the way, I'm hanging out with the guys/my mates on Friday, I'm really psyched, haven't seen them in ages"

You have to pull this off with complete confidence - if she starts to falter, then be like, well why are you so freaked out about it? Is she worried you're going to run off with someone? If so, why not arrange a group thing, introduce her to everyone, let her get to make up a real judgement of someone without immediately jumping to 'all his girl mates are trying to get with him'. Give her a chance to be a friend to your friends - not all the time, but to get to know them, your friends deserve to have the respect by your girlfriend and vice versa.

Anyway, these are the only realistic things I can think of - like a lot of other people have said, if you're calling her obsessive, clingy, paranoid and it's annoying you and basically, you're dissing her, are you really sure this is a girl you want to be with?

I'm not saying to treat her like some special case, but if you want to make this work you have to manipulate the way she is manipulating you (into leaving your friends). Make her realise your friends are awesome. TOTALLY AWESOME. And that you need some of your own space.

I do always tell her if I'm gonna hang out with my friends ahead of time. So I don't know why she gets all mad when I hang with them. This past Saturday night, me and my friend hung out. It was our man day/night where we did manly things. And we've been planning it for like weeks and I told her all about it!

 

[Twad]

.. make sure you have your own free time to do your own stuff, like having time with your friends and/or alone.

Its selfish and controling to demand that you spend all your free time with her.

 

[ThreeWords]

Are you complaining about having to spend time with your girlfriend?

This is an excellent point.

My two cents: if you're doing what you can, tell her. If that's not enough, that's her problem. I for one think that she should be compromising with you, not just demanding things; if she's not being understanding, then something's up...

 

[TallanKhan]

If shes that clingy she either doesnt trust you or has serious issues, either way indulging her wont make it better. Talk to her and tell her how it is and if she cant accept that then move on to new and more grown up pastures.

 

[EmzOLV]

I do always tell her if I'm gonna hang out with my friends ahead of time. So I don't know why she gets all mad when I hang with them. This past Saturday night, me and my friend hung out. It was our man day/night where we did manly things. And we've been planning it for like weeks and I told her all about it!

Then if there really is no approachable way of dealing with it, I'd do what most other people are suggesting - tell her to get off your back about it, or it's over. It's an ultimatum that has to be done. You can't live your life not seeing your best friends, or not being able to hang out, because a girl wants 110% of your time. It's not practical. And all it'll do, is make you feel really horrible because you won't get to be social with other people.