I love fairly close to the sea. So i'd be polite, and ask him for a cup of tea. And some sick rhymes.
So Neptune is sitting on your couch...
- Thread starter rancher of monsters
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Point him to the sign that says "To those who possess divine powers: By relaxing in this room, you have agreed to grant the owner of this house one unconditional wish." and ask him to make me a water bender.
Then, because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to get hammered with a god, go on a bender.
Then, because it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to get hammered with a god, go on a bender.
Well I'd panic at first since having a Greco/Roman god showing up is never good.
But, I'd probably just chill right next to him. Order a pizza and buy some beer or something.
But, I'd probably just chill right next to him. Order a pizza and buy some beer or something.
Dunno if this has already been ninja'd but I'd ask him if he did seaweed and if he had a bag. Not that i'd want to, i just wanted to make the joke.
Me: "Dude, third time this millennium, what is it now?"
Poseidon: "I task you with the assassination of Rick Riordan for insulting me with his insinuations of me wearing casual clothing."
Me: "For the [insert variable here]nth time, NO!"
Poseidon: "You dare reject my holy mission? Then you shall pay for his crimes with your life!"
Me: "Because that worked so well the last time, what with the whole being thrown into Tartarus for a week."
Repeat of the last visit mostly.
Poseidon: "I task you with the assassination of Rick Riordan for insulting me with his insinuations of me wearing casual clothing."
Me: "For the [insert variable here]nth time, NO!"
Poseidon: "You dare reject my holy mission? Then you shall pay for his crimes with your life!"
Me: "Because that worked so well the last time, what with the whole being thrown into Tartarus for a week."
Repeat of the last visit mostly.
I'd go "Who are you, why did you break into my house AND WHY IS YOUR BEARD MAKING MY SOFA ALL WET?! GET. OUT!".
And then I'd get impaled.
And then I'd get impaled.
Well won, sir!Arina Love said:only Neptune i will ever acknowledge and if she on my couch i will say : "can i play on you?"
I would say "What the f*ck are you doing on my couch, you crazy f*cking toga wearing tramp! I'm calling the guards!" Then in the inevitable 3 hour wait for someone to show up we'd probably end up discussing something to do with Irish history/ evolution/ the future of the Catholic church/ existential philosophy/ the evolution of the English language, all topics I generally bring-up in day-to-day conversations and irritate people with.
walks over and say hey, ask if he wants something to drink, and if he says yes say water right? justto be a dick, then get him whatever he wants and join him. Maybe he's a Penguins fan.
I'd say hi, cook him up some lamb, and ask him about getting rid of a few people. Then I'd respectfully request that he not put the world under water.
Me "Have you been there all day?"
Neptune, "Yeah"
Me "I thought you had that interview today for the vacant deity position in that new cult that's started up"
Neptune, "Yeah, but I didn't feel like going, besides the money was nowhere near what a god of my stature deserves"
Me, "Yeah 2000 years ago you where a big deal, but your pantheon became obsolete and you haven't had a job since. Beggars can't choosers."
Neptune, "It's not my fault, I tell you the monotheist ruined this business, especially that show off Jesus. So he came back from the dead and then he's a big deal. I mean what does he have that I don't"
Me, "Well, for one thing he doesn't go round creating storms and sinking ships"
Neptune, "Where fun it that?"
Me, "Times change, people tend to prefer less vengeful deities, maybe you should try a more peaceful approach like Buddha"
Neptune, "PEACEFUL! I am lord of the sea and like the sea I am cruel and unforgiving. I mean when have you ever seen a peaceful sea."
Me, "Fine sorry I brought it up. Still if your not going to get a new job you could a least do something about the damp you've been causing and clean all that damn seaweed off the floor, where not at the bottom of the sea now."
Neptune, "Fine I'll clean up"
Me, "Good"
Neptune, "[small]thought soon you will be buried at the bottom of the sea for your insolence you puny mortal[/small]"
Me, "You say something Neptune?"
Neptune, "Oh Nothing"
Neptune, "Yeah"
Me "I thought you had that interview today for the vacant deity position in that new cult that's started up"
Neptune, "Yeah, but I didn't feel like going, besides the money was nowhere near what a god of my stature deserves"
Me, "Yeah 2000 years ago you where a big deal, but your pantheon became obsolete and you haven't had a job since. Beggars can't choosers."
Neptune, "It's not my fault, I tell you the monotheist ruined this business, especially that show off Jesus. So he came back from the dead and then he's a big deal. I mean what does he have that I don't"
Me, "Well, for one thing he doesn't go round creating storms and sinking ships"
Neptune, "Where fun it that?"
Me, "Times change, people tend to prefer less vengeful deities, maybe you should try a more peaceful approach like Buddha"
Neptune, "PEACEFUL! I am lord of the sea and like the sea I am cruel and unforgiving. I mean when have you ever seen a peaceful sea."
Me, "Fine sorry I brought it up. Still if your not going to get a new job you could a least do something about the damp you've been causing and clean all that damn seaweed off the floor, where not at the bottom of the sea now."
Neptune, "Fine I'll clean up"
Me, "Good"
Neptune, "[small]thought soon you will be buried at the bottom of the sea for your insolence you puny mortal[/small]"
Me, "You say something Neptune?"
Neptune, "Oh Nothing"