So some woman are afraid of me because of my job....

[Phasmal]

So, while rape itself isn't women's fault, I do kind of think this paranoia women seem to have has had some part in creating the indifference to it. If that paranoia were to diminish, I imagine more men would care enough to do something about the actual problem.

Being afraid of being pepper-sprayed is not the same as being afraid of being raped.
You're thinking "This chick might be crazy!", we have to think "Am I in danger of being raped?".
The paranoia is there because it has a function, to keep you aware of danger.
If I decided `no more paranoia` and walked down an alley in the middle of the night and got raped, what would people say?
"She shouldn't have been walking alone, what did she expect?"

How are we supposed to act?

Indifference to rape is not women's fault. If you feel indifferent about it, I would suggest taking a long hard look at yourself in the mirror, and I hope no one you love is ever assaulted in such a way. (This is a general you, not a you you).

 

[damselgaming]

Do you wear a hat, and one of those tool belts? Are you shirtless, because maybe they are sexually intimidated! I don't think I've ever seen anything like that happen- maybe its the area you are in?

Why do i get the feeling that your post was seconds away from a 'village people' joke?

Oh no no, less village peope, more guy that was the elevator fixing man in that Diet Coke advert that one time.

 

[Bassik]

Even if there was one sicko in the group, would you really expect everyone on the construction site would be OK with rape?
They are just normal people, with families. Also there's usually a foreman around, it's broad daylight...
Some women just need to lighten up. There seems to be a lot of rape, but often it's either someone you know or some asshole in a club.
Crossing the street because of workmen is stupid, childish and insulting. If you really care, maybe stop overindulging yourself at the club, and stop sexing up the guy you friend zoned, but don't be a ***** to people who are just doing their job, you dandelion mind.

 

[Phasmal]

Even if there was one sicko in the group, would you really expect everyone on the construction site would be OK with rape?
They are just normal people, with families. Also there's usually a foreman around, it's broad daylight...
Some women just need to lighten up. There seems to be a lot of rape, but often it's either someone you know or some asshole in a club.
Crossing the street because of workmen is stupid, childish and insulting. If you really care, maybe stop overindulging yourself at the club, and stop sexing up the guy you friend zoned, but don't be a ***** to people who are just doing their job, you dandelion mind.

Way to blame women for their own assaults

Most women in this thread are saying they dont think that at all. In fact the only one who does is the ONE person the OP has experienced.
Women are not a hive-mind.
Some PEOPLE have hangups about that sort of thing.

EDIT:
Seriously??
Do guys actually think like this?
Oh, rape only happens when a woman does something like drink or flirt with some poor guy who wants more. Must be her fault.
Excuse me while I go vomit up my lungs.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

EDIT:
Seriously??
Do guys actually think like this?
Oh, rape only happens when a woman does something like drink or flirt with some poor guy who wants more. Must be her fault.
Excuse me while I go vomit up my lungs.

This one doesnt. I don't really understand why people are going into the whole "rape is the victims fault" thing in this thread. Is the word rape just a trigger for that?

 

[Phasmal]

EDIT:
Seriously??
Do guys actually think like this?
Oh, rape only happens when a woman does something like drink or flirt with some poor guy who wants more. Must be her fault.
Excuse me while I go vomit up my lungs.

This one doesnt. I don't really understand why people are going into the whole "rape is the victims fault" thing in this thread. Is the word rape just a trigger for that?

On this forum, usually, yes.
Its unfortunate, and everyone seems to either agree or pretend not to see it.
I hope it will change, but I wont be holding my breath.

 

[manaman]

You should try wolf whistling ironically.

I have done this, for no reason other than I just like messing with people.

 

[putowtin]

snip

So people of the escapist, especially women. What do you think when you see a builder, or a labourer or tradesman of any other job. Am I just being paranoid for the most part?

I'm married to a painter and decorator, he's the kindest, funniest, most warm hearted man I've ever meet, I wouldn't trade him for anyone.

You'll meet someone who appreciates you for who you are, not what you do or how much you earn, just for you!

 

[McMullen]

So, while rape itself isn't women's fault, I do kind of think this paranoia women seem to have has had some part in creating the indifference to it. If that paranoia were to diminish, I imagine more men would care enough to do something about the actual problem.

Being afraid of being pepper-sprayed is not the same as being afraid of being raped.
You're thinking "This chick might be crazy!", we have to think "Am I in danger of being raped?".

I know. I made no claim that the two were on an equal footing. I'm not arguing that it's a problem because it's unfair to us, I'm arguing that it's a problem because it makes it easy for men to believe you're all hysterical, a belief that I don't hold, but can understand where it comes from.

The paranoia is there because it has a function, to keep you aware of danger.
If I decided `no more paranoia` and walked down an alley in the middle of the night and got raped, what would people say?
"She shouldn't have been walking alone, what did she expect?"

How are we supposed to act?

Pepper spraying a person who asks you a question is paranoia, walking down a dark alley alone is stupidity. There is a place in between those two points that is neither. It's a fallacy to accuse me of advocating the stupid approach simply because I criticize the paranoid one. You are straw-manning me. You won't convince anyone of anything by doing that.

Indifference to rape is not women's fault.

My quote was "I do kind of think this paranoia women seem to have has had some part in creating the indifference to it."

That is different from saying indifference to rape is women's fault. Quit straw-manning me. If you want to persuade people, especially to dispel the myth that women who are concerned about rape are hysterical, you're going to have to use honest means of arguing and debating. All you're doing here is fueling the myth.

If you feel indifferent about it.

No, I do not. I specifically said that the perception of women as hysterical is a myth. I believe that violence against women is a serious problem, but I also think that paranoia is counter-productive.

I support your goals, but I think there are things you're doing wrong, and I'm explaining why I think so. Attacking me for sharing that viewpoint and accusing me of saying things I did not say, and believing things I've already said I don't believe, only convinces me further that you're going to alienate people who would otherwise agree with you.

It's obvious you feel strongly about the issue, and that's good, but you've allowed those strong feelings to make you zealous, and zealotry will only blind you and turn others away from your viewpoint, and make you so uncompromising in your ideals that the slightest deviation from them will be taken, as it has been here, as being an attack on the whole.

You can be far more successful by reining that zealotry in a bit.

 

[irishda]

I did a bunch of overnight installations over the summer in various restaurants. It was hot, sweaty work that left me looking dusty, dirty, and incredibly ragged. But the waitresses we'd run into in the course of our job never looked creeped out or afraid. In fact they even invited us to a party after we finished a particular job. I dunno what it is about UK women (or Australian if that's where you are). American women even have fantasies about handymen, just look at the story lines for half of pornos.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

I did a bunch of overnight installations over the summer in various restaurants. It was hot, sweaty work that left me looking dusty, dirty, and incredibly ragged. But the waitresses we'd run into in the course of our job never looked creeped out or afraid. In fact they even invited us to a party after we finished a particular job. I dunno what it is about UK women (or Australian if that's where you are). American women even have fantasies about handymen, just look at the story lines for half of pornos.

I only said some women note. I know there's both women who don't care and women who actually find us attractive. It just bothers me that someone could find me scary.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Metal heads? As in people who listen to metal?

Yeah, but mainly the really HC metal fans which wear all dark leather with long black hair, piercings etc.
I mean I look like a pretty young nice guy but when I tell people I listen to metal they get all kidns of ideas about me and immediatelly take a little distance.

I understand that. People where I live are more used to metal, and a lot of people even listen to it as well, but there are still those people that can't understand how I listen to it. I also get plenty of "You do!? You don't look like you listen to it."

Yeah, and you'd wonder since I live in Finland which is kind of "home of metal" and that shit (discrimination) excists here also.
I don't want to know how people get treated in areas were metal is more uncommon.

Try being an agnostic metal-head in the the southern bits of the US. Oh yeah, much fun, generally just keep my mouth shut.

OT: My dad was a mechanic and my stepdad is a welder, so construction workers (of all types) are just normal people to me.

 

[lion el jhonson]

Okay dude I am going to just assume you look something like this
http://www.towntalk.co.uk/subdomains/lib/image.php/40007_children_church.jpg?domain=.co.uk&image=http://www.wimbledon.towntalk.co.uk/images_folder/eventsimg/40007_children_church.jpg&width=500&height=320

Now if there are not alot of people around and you are pretty much the only guy around and when a woman is walking on your side of the street alone and they see you go to your van to get a tool or something they can sometimes think of this
http://cache.daylife.com/imageserve/0gRVe4SgVo1Hu/340x.jpg

So... yeah Im sure its nothing against you personally it is simply a natural instinct that if a person thinks they see a threat they will try to avoid it

 

[sumanoskae]

Well... that's just fucking bizarre. Classicism, maybe?.

A lot of people can be paranoid little fucks.

 

[Lederin]

I've never thought builders were rapey or weird, I walk past tons of building sites/roadworks every day and think nothing of it. It seems bizarre to me that people think like this, you might as well be scared of lollypop ladies

(Also, I'm a girl... forgot to mention that )

 

[Fappy]

This is pretty bad in my family, I'll be honest. My mom and aunt tell their daughters to steer clear of construction workers. I myself have actually worked in construction and am happy to report that they are NOT rapists.

 

[Harpalyce]

Honestly, if women are afraid of you, it's because we've been pretty much told to be paranoid about all men who might be rapists. Don't wear short skirts, don't go out at night alone, never take your eyes off a drink at a party, carry a rape whistle, blah blah blah, mostly because if rape happens people almost always say it's because the woman did something wrong (you shouldn't have worn that short skirt! you shouldn't have been at that party! why didn't you have pepper spray in your purse! et cetera).

Yes, it's shitty that women look at you and think "a big strong man - I bet he could overpower me and rape me". It's even shittier that women feel like they have to be paranoid because the message we get from society is a big long checklist of things to do not to be raped (instead of just telling dudes that rape isn't something you should ever do).

Unfortunately there's no easy fix. If you want to help change things, look beyond the superficial and focus on the real problem. Don't give in to the temptation to say "what bitches they are for being scared of me", realize that society is constantly yelling at women to be paranoid about this shit and consider stepping up as an advocate for feminists and women's issues. Trust me when I say it's a huge step forward when a man says "you know, instead of telling women not to wear short skirts, maybe we should be telling men to not be rapists" (and isn't it a bit sad that it's a huge step forward?).

/chucking in my $0.02