So there's this girl...
- Thread starter White_Hawk
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She's in a relationship. Don't push her! You have to wait until she is ready to break up with him. Don't try to be that guy she cheats on her boyfriend with, but also, don't preassure her into ending her relationship. Just stay friends until she is ready to break up. In the mean time, you can spend your time worrying about more important things.White_Hawk said:
Just walk away. Moral superiority and all that.
I mean, she's lieing to someone. Either the boyfriend she's in a 'stable' relationship with, or you. In this situation, one of you is the sucker, and if you can't tell who it is, it's usually you.
Bah, the old 'I trust you' line irritates me more than anything else. It's just a way of assigning blame when she finally gives in to her lust and does something more serious with you, so she feels less guilty when she runs crying back to her boyfriend. Because she 'trusted' you.
Wow, I made myself annoyed. I'm going to go shovel snow until I cool down.
I mean, she's lieing to someone. Either the boyfriend she's in a 'stable' relationship with, or you. In this situation, one of you is the sucker, and if you can't tell who it is, it's usually you.
Bah, the old 'I trust you' line irritates me more than anything else. It's just a way of assigning blame when she finally gives in to her lust and does something more serious with you, so she feels less guilty when she runs crying back to her boyfriend. Because she 'trusted' you.
Wow, I made myself annoyed. I'm going to go shovel snow until I cool down.
Girls like this are terrible and are "emotionally" cheating on their boyfriend, which in my mind, is worse. She obviously digs your chili and this odd relationship she has with you is going to create animosity between her and her boyfriend. She'll either toss you aside because of the strain, or breakup with her boyfriend. I suggest you wait it out. However, do not date her!
After the potential breakup, you should just hookup with her and have fun. She is not girlfriend material and obviously doesn't know what she wants. She won't remain true to you and will always be intrigued by others.
Just be careful. She might not even hookup with you if she breaks up with her bf, the thrill won't be there and she might either be bored or she might be too guilty about the whole the situation. If this is the case, you'll notice her distancing from you.
After the potential breakup, you should just hookup with her and have fun. She is not girlfriend material and obviously doesn't know what she wants. She won't remain true to you and will always be intrigued by others.
Just be careful. She might not even hookup with you if she breaks up with her bf, the thrill won't be there and she might either be bored or she might be too guilty about the whole the situation. If this is the case, you'll notice her distancing from you.
take it from me friend, I'm in a similar situation with a girl I work with, do yourself a favor and forget about it. In the end all you end up with is a broken heart.
Well you better do something else be put in the friend zone and then seen in the same sexual light as a lamp. Though.....it is possible you're already in the friend zone. To see if this is the case watch(carefully) how she interacts with her close female friends. Then compare and contrast with how she acts around you. It is possible she could be a tease.
close thread...this is all that needs to be said....but god man if she starts having problems with him and shit.....remember...HIM=DEVIL YOU=SUPERMAN.... (i got a girl calling me superman...she still does it...sooo awesome)...and dnt gimmie that im shy shit...im extemly shy...this is 2010....do what everyone does...be a man over the internet and sensitive in person.....and if you think she might be messin with ya....date her friend...and make sure that friend likes to tell her how amazing you are...Dragunai said:
It's a trap. Don't go there. Just wait and see what happens. In the mean time, just forget about it and do something else until they break up or whatever. If they don't break up, you didn't waste your time.
She wants attention, or a back up just in case. If things are going well for her, and you don't want to be just friends, then back off. If it's going well, don't mess it up for him, and if you think you can be the guy on the side, remember that he might not like that if he finds out, and he might have friends...Trust me, I was that guy on the side and it didn't end too well. I had to take a beating and I learnt my lesson. Sure, he was a dick to her the whole time, but does that justify what I did? Not really, instead I went into someone else's business and messed around how I saw fit. If they break up, then go for it, but don't mess up a good thing, especially if you aren't ready to have your ass handed to you.
i find it quite funny how mny of you are scorned into believing that their is such a thing as the friend zone and that you are for ever stuck in it if you happen to fall in it.
OP: to be quite honest there isn't much to do besides be her friend if you all of a sudden back off and quit talking to her you won't only hurt her feelings but yours if you really do care about her.
OP: to be quite honest there isn't much to do besides be her friend if you all of a sudden back off and quit talking to her you won't only hurt her feelings but yours if you really do care about her.
Hah, cool replies in this thread. Anyways, on topic.
I kinda agree that you're in the friend zone right now, and you're having a very one-sided relationship here. My advice is this:
Tell her how you feel.
Honestly, that's it. No planning, no lies. Just the brutal, honest truth. But you have to also understand the realities of these things. She might not reply with the answer you're waiting for, she might dump you (or vice versa) in a few years. Anything could happen. Even bad stuff. So just accept the truth, man up and tell her how you feel. Ain't nothing that attracts women more than a man who is honest to himself.
And there's really nothing confusing about hugs and trust, is there? You're essentially a trusted male friend, which is a good thing to have around for any girl. Not so pleasant for said trusted male friend if he's got a crush on said girl, but...
Remember. Honest truth.
I kinda agree that you're in the friend zone right now, and you're having a very one-sided relationship here. My advice is this:
Tell her how you feel.
Honestly, that's it. No planning, no lies. Just the brutal, honest truth. But you have to also understand the realities of these things. She might not reply with the answer you're waiting for, she might dump you (or vice versa) in a few years. Anything could happen. Even bad stuff. So just accept the truth, man up and tell her how you feel. Ain't nothing that attracts women more than a man who is honest to himself.
And there's really nothing confusing about hugs and trust, is there? You're essentially a trusted male friend, which is a good thing to have around for any girl. Not so pleasant for said trusted male friend if he's got a crush on said girl, but...
Remember. Honest truth.
This seems very straightforward to me, not confusing at all and there are certainly no mixed messages here. She trusts hugging you etc because she likes you and she knows you like her and have respect for her, and therefore she feels that you're not going to take advantage and try to grope her in the wrong way or whatever. She won't want to kiss you though, for her I think that would be crossing a line into infidelity - and while she does like you, she doesn't like you enough to mess up the good thing that she's got going with this other guy who she probably likes just as much if not more. The hugging on the other hand is okay with her, because she perceives it as non-sexual.White_Hawk said:
If she's happy in her current relationship, then she's happy. Don't intrude. However, few relationships last forever. I wouldn't be holding out specifically for hers to fail though, because you could be waiting a long time - see other girls for now. However if her relationship starts having problems while you remain single, then you may wish to present yourself as an alternate option if you still have interest at that time.
Dude, just wait it out and see what happens. You DON'T want to be a dick and be the reason her relationship ended, because in the end, you OR her boyfriend won't get any. Patience is the keyword. Don't fuck it up...
I hug girls all the time (Even when they don't know it)mikecoulter said:
But seriously, its some peoples way of just saying hi or showing friendship or whatever. Doesn't necessarily mean anything sexual.
I think either a) be a dick (to her bf) and just try to get with her and break them up, or b) tell her you can't just "be friends" anymore, but you'd like to keep in touch and maybe when the time is right, take her out on a date.
Ideally, picking B) would make her re-evaluate her relationship, and in a couple months she'll be single
Ideally, picking B) would make her re-evaluate her relationship, and in a couple months she'll be single
White_Hawk said:
HOLY FUCK!! Dude, first of all picture this.....
She breaks up with her boyfriend, she makes YOU her boyfriend - great, right?
NOW picture this.....
You're boyfriend and girlfriend, and she has another guy friend....and she is close with him - they are just friends and share hugs, effectionate hugs, but nothing more than friendly, ok? You know about this friendship, how would you feel? Like would you be cool with your girl being really (really) close with another guy? Oh, and you and her are also in a great, stable relationship too. And her new friend is not gay btw.
I'm just saying, she has no problem being really close friends with guys...and it's understandable that feelings can grow from those friendships, so could you handle it knowing she could socialize with another male friend on the same level that you are both doing right now?
It's pretty much a shitty scenario (it could bug the shit out a boyfriend if he hears about his girlfriend being full-on close with a male friend).
I'm only saying this as something to consider.
Btw if you don't mind any of that then be a man and break them up.