So there's this super cute girl who works at the McDonald's near my house...

[Kenbo Slice]

As the title says, there's a super cute girl who works at the Mickey D's down the street from me. She's usually there when I go there (it's even gotten to the point where she recognizes my voice through the drive-thru speaker) and last time I was there we ended up talking for a few minutes. I wanna ask her out but I don't know how to go about it. My friend says I should just give her a piece of paper with my number on it when I hand her money. I think that's lame though.

I'm at a loss here guys, and I need help. What is the best way to go about this?

 

[Callie]

Why not just ask for her number plain and simple. Why do guys have to come up with some weird shy 'beta' way of doing things. If you want to date her, just ask her. Or keep saying things like 'youre pretty cute' etc and she would probably give her number in with the meal if she was interested.

 

[Batou667]

Actually I don't think the "hand her a paper" idea is so bad. It avoids the whole awkward song and dance of flat-out asking her out and angling for her number (all while she's at work and being watched by her supervisor, under stress from juggling orders, probably feeling quite greasy and sticky and not very attractive, etc). If you've already built up a degree of rapport just end your next visit by saying something like "Oh yeah, I was thinking of going into town/watching [insert movie name here] this week, give me a message if you'd like to come" and hand her the paper. If she politely declines, just say "no worries". If she takes your number but never calls, don't bring it up again.

It is possible to ask out somebody while they're at their place of work without making it awkward or creepy, you just have to make it natural and unforced. Anyway, good luck!

 

[Lilani]

As the title says, there's a super cute girl who works at the Mickey D's down the street from me. She's usually there when I go there (it's even gotten to the point where she recognizes my voice through the drive-thru speaker) and last time I was there we ended up talking for a few minutes. I wanna ask her out but I don't know how to go about it. My friend says I should just give her a piece of paper with my number on it when I hand her money. I think that's lame though.

I'm at a loss here guys, and I need help. What is the best way to go about this?

I think giving her your name and number might be the better plan. In the drive-thru, things are being timed so there's no guarantee she'll have time to stop (especially if her manager is nearby). Plus, it's being disrespectful of the fact that she's working and has more pressing obligations than you at that particular moment.

But if you give her the paper, then not only does that keep the time pressure down but it also makes the whole situation seem non-threatening. There are plenty of creeps that go through the drive-thru (trust me, I've worked there before), so giving her your number gives her control over the situation. You may not realize it, but asking her for her number is actually asking quite a bit. You're essentially asking her to trust that you're not a creep who's going to stalk her, even though she knows nothing about you beyond the fact that you make okay small talk in the drive-thru. But her having your number means it's at her discretion to call or text or not. It's showing that you're interested, but giving her the power to either go through with it or not depending on how she feels.

 

[Jux]

You may not realize it, but asking her for her number is actually asking quite a bit. You're essentially asking her to trust that you're not a creep who's going to stalk her, even though she knows nothing about you beyond the fact that you make okay small talk in the drive-thru. But her having your number means it's at her discretion to call or text or not. It's showing that you're interested, but giving her the power to either go through with it or not depending on how she feels.

I agree with this, though the potential drawback to giving your number is she might take it as a sign of lack of confidence. I don't completely understand it, but I have a few female friends that won't even consider calling a guy that just gives their number out, I've been told it shows they're too passive. All comes down to her personality I guess.

 

[dementis]

Why not just ask for her number plain and simple. Why do guys have to come up with some weird shy 'beta' way of doing things. If you want to date her, just ask her. Or keep saying things like 'youre pretty cute' etc and she would probably give her number in with the meal if she was interested.

Some guys are beta, everyone likes to think that men are these super confident and machismo alpha males all fighting for dominance but a lot of guys aren't like that at all and have trouble talking to anyone, regardless of gender.

OT: Maybe just ask her out for a drink some time, don't worry about getting a number straight away, organise to meet up for a drink somewhere and try to get to know each other. That's what I would do... Y'know, if I could talk to women in any social capacity.

 

[Lilani]

I agree with this, though the potential drawback to giving your number is she might take it as a sign of lack of confidence. I don't completely understand it, but I have a few female friends that won't even consider calling a guy that just gives their number out, I've been told it shows they're too passive. All comes down to her personality I guess.

I basically initiated the relationships with both my ex and current boyfriend. I offered the first date, and initiated the first hand-holdings and kisses. I think if a woman is willing to let a guy slip by just because he seems "passive" then that means one of two things about her. Either she's not that invested in making it happen in the first place, or she herself is insecure and is using her position as a female as an excuse to not put herself out there and make these things happen. Neither of those flaws really spell "catch" to me, so if I were a guy who misses a girl because he wasn't "confident enough" for her, I wouldn't worry much about it anyway.

The only type of "asking out" that grossly offends me is sharing these things via a text message, or any other platform that isn't face-to-face. Giving her his number is face-to-face, and again it gives her that modicum of safety, which is desirable in the OP's case because again we're talking about asking somebody out in a drive-thru.

 

[Jux]

I basically initiated the relationships with both my ex and current boyfriend. I offered the first date, and initiated the first hand-holdings and kisses. I think if a woman is willing to let a guy slip by just because he seems "passive" then that means one of two things about her. Either she's not that invested in making it happen in the first place, or she herself is insecure and is using her position as a female as an excuse to not put herself out there and make these things happen. Neither of those flaws really spell "catch" to me, so if I were a guy who misses a girl because he wasn't "confident enough" for her, I wouldn't worry much about it anyway.

The only type of "asking out" that grossly offends me is sharing these things via a text message, or any other platform that isn't face-to-face. Giving her his number is face-to-face, and again it gives her that modicum of safety, which is desirable in the OP's case because again we're talking about asking somebody out in a drive-thru.

And I don't disagree with your assessment, just pointing out that that approach won't work for everyone, and we all have our own standards on how we judge who is date worthy.

 

[Jinky Williams]

What is it you want, here? Why? Not saying that this is a negotiation table or that it should be handled as such, but there is a lot to be said for knowing what you want before you interact.

Having a clear understanding of what you are looking to achieve gives a lot of confidence, and confidence breeds confidence. If you're confident about what you want, you'll exude that confidence, and she'll feel that. She might not be interested, but she can be confident about that. A lot of the uneasy, ill-defined, nebulous game-playing can be avoided.

That's not to say things should be mechanical; romance is kinda important. Showing some finesse is always appreciated and edifying, even if the extension is rejected. Making a note beforehand ("To the attractive drive-thru woman who I'd love to hang out with: Let's get coffee. Here's my number if you're interested.") makes it feel more personalized and invitation-like and not "I'm trying to pad things so I don't feel so bad if I get rejected".

Even better (in my book) would be to take the time to go inside and ask specifically for her. You don't need to take much time. State your business, what you're looking to do, and provide a way for her to contact you. "Hey! I'd like to go on a date with you. You're attractive and I'm interested in learning more about you. Let's do Starbucks this week. Here's my number. Call me if you're interested. I want to let you get back to being a productive employee, but I hope to hear from you! Have a grand day. "

But despite your best efforts and preparation, being warbly and shaky may be unavoidable... but this is generally an attractive thing. I'd guess it's because it's showing to her that A.) She's got some heart "real estate" in you because you're concerned so much with what she's thinking, and B.) that she's also worth pursuing through that intense uncomfortableness.

The heart of the endeavor: Letting her know that she's worth you going out of your way for. I think that's a good foundation for any relationship.

 

[FieryTrainwreck]

I think giving her your name and number might be the better plan. In the drive-thru, things are being timed so there's no guarantee she'll have time to stop (especially if her manager is nearby). Plus, it's being disrespectful of the fact that she's working and has more pressing obligations than you at that particular moment.

But if you give her the paper, then not only does that keep the time pressure down but it also makes the whole situation seem non-threatening. There are plenty of creeps that go through the drive-thru (trust me, I've worked there before), so giving her your number gives her control over the situation. You may not realize it, but asking her for her number is actually asking quite a bit. You're essentially asking her to trust that you're not a creep who's going to stalk her, even though she knows nothing about you beyond the fact that you make okay small talk in the drive-thru. But her having your number means it's at her discretion to call or text or not. It's showing that you're interested, but giving her the power to either go through with it or not depending on how she feels.

I like this one. Do that.

 

[Psykoma]

I would advise that you do not ask her for her number or ask her out while she's working.
You have to remember that you may be there for her, but she's there to work, and a large part of that work in the service industry is to make sure that you, a customer, is happy.

When you ask her for her number, at her work and while she's working, you're setting up a situation where (depending on the management and work environment, or if for example she's at a cash register) she can't walk away without risking sanctions from her higher ups. People have complained to managers over more petty things.

And that's a pretty shitty situation to put someone in.


If you want to initiate the contact while she's working, give her your number, maybe say something like

"Oh yeah, I was thinking of going into town/watching [insert movie name here] this week, give me a message if you'd like to come" and hand her the paper. If she politely declines, just say "no worries". If she takes your number but never calls, don't bring it up again.

but don't push it beyond that imo.

 

[Simalacrum]

Your friend knows what he's talking about; take his advice. Number with money is certainly a tactic that could be useful. If you're feeling confident throwing a wink in there might help as well.

 

[Jannes Ehmke]

date, time and place followed by your number on paper, just hand it to her. All problems averted

 

[Lilani]

date, time and place followed by your number on paper, just hand it to her. All problems averted

Along with seeming like a total creep I would be disgusted if a guy I hardly knew did this to me. Don't set up a time and a date without consulting me first. Just give me the number, then if I'm interested I'll call you and we'll set it up together. Either I'll give you my availability or we can do it together. But don't just give me a time and date as though you're giving me orders.

As I said in my previous post, the key to asking a girl you don't know well out is making the meeting as non-threatening as possible. And the key to not being threatening is to give her as much control over the situation as possible. Let things be on her terms, not yours. If you insist on doing everything on your terms, then you're just going to scare her off, or pressure her into what is objectively a potentially dangerous situation.

 

[Korsgaard]

As others have pointed out, next time you stop in there, if it's not to busy, chat her up while she's taking your order, and before you walk away, just ask her name, offer yours, and then ask for her phone number. Be confident, smile, and best of luck!

 

[SycoMantis91]

I agree with this, though the potential drawback to giving your number is she might take it as a sign of lack of confidence. I don't completely understand it, but I have a few female friends that won't even consider calling a guy that just gives their number out, I've been told it shows they're too passive. All comes down to her personality I guess.

I basically initiated the relationships with both my ex and current boyfriend. I offered the first date, and initiated the first hand-holdings and kisses. I think if a woman is willing to let a guy slip by just because he seems "passive" then that means one of two things about her. Either she's not that invested in making it happen in the first place, or she herself is insecure and is using her position as a female as an excuse to not put herself out there and make these things happen. Neither of those flaws really spell "catch" to me, so if I were a guy who misses a girl because he wasn't "confident enough" for her, I wouldn't worry much about it anyway.

The only type of "asking out" that grossly offends me is sharing these things via a text message, or any other platform that isn't face-to-face. Giving her his number is face-to-face, and again it gives her that modicum of safety, which is desirable in the OP's case because again we're talking about asking somebody out in a drive-thru.

Though judging whether she's a "catch" based on this, no offense, comes off as rather hypocritical. You see it as a detriment for her to find a lack of confidence off-putting, while at the same time, if this assumption is accurate, you expect the male in this situation to be put off by the lack of confidence exuded by her off-putness. I'm pretty sure that made sense.

To answer the actual question, I think it's a decent idea. it's not the best, but in this situation, the options are fairly limited. Though as someone with horrible social graces around any human beings I don't know well, even worse so when they're attractive, I understand how intimidating it can be to try to go about it vocally in any manner, face to face or over an intercom. I'd think your best bet though is to verbally ask along with a paper with just your number, maybe your first name. Keep it short, and perhaps rehearse it in your head or even out loud beforehand, it sounds lame, but it's a public speaking exercise, and this is technically public speaking, and trust me, it helps. Something along the lines of "I was wondering if you're not busy, if you'd like to catch a movie or coffee or something" try to seem, not confident, but friendly and genuinely interested, confident can easily be misconstrued as cocky and expectant of approval, preferably without staring daggers into her or smiling so much your eyes squint. If she says yes, hand her the paper. "Here's my number, you can call or text and let me know what works for you", if she doesn't say something back immediately, wave, "see ya soon", and ride off. It takes less time than it even does to read it, doesn't exude a lack of confidence, and gives her that control we've been hearing about. So yeah, I like that one. Wish I could pull it off myself lol