Sobriety sucks

[ThatLankyBastard]

I don't drink and never have...

...although it's a personal choice, my family has a history of Alcoholism and I've seen what it can do. I don't want to give it a chance...

...so I oprefer it sober I guess...

 

[Justice Shades]

I think a lot of Escapist members watched too many Very Special Episodes as children.

 

[Ragsnstitches]

I used "normal people" as sober people. They are normal. Being intoxicated isn't being normal.
Normal people can get drunk, I never said they otherwise. But as soon as the get drunk, they aren't normal until they get sober.
As I said, the normal state of a person is being sober.

Says who? Ever met an irishman?

Jokes aside, maybe it's when we're drunk that we're truly normal, IE the people we really are, as opposed to the masks we wear when sober?

Might be worth noting that you, as a person in life, are judged by others (when it matters) in your entirety. Your doubts and inhibitions are NOT a mask, but a facet of your character. Removing those NATURAL safe guards diminishes your character, it does not enhance it.

You are the sum of all your parts... good and bad.

The real testament of a persons character is to be able to control those safeguards... not drown them.

Spoiler: About Irishmen and drink

]Just as an FYI, I'm Irish (100%, living in ireland and all), and that stereotype you mentioned isn't a joke anymore (fair use though, I have no issue with stereotypes). The Irish have the WORST drinking culture in all of Europe. Not because of the amount we drink, but because of the single minded goal of getting wretched drunk. People here claim to know this or that about about drinking, but I've already seen plenty of people, both friends and relatives, commit social suicide due to reckless drinking habits.

My mother (and most of her sisters), my sister, most of my cousins and a fair few of my once close friends have all come out as alcoholics (though my mother resists any form of help at this point). What's funny is that no one could ever tell this was the case until the recession hit and the wallets dried up, yet drink was still regularly consumed in large quantities, usually sacrificing crucial expenses like bills and even basic groceries...

Spoiler: Life experience A

My mums relationship with my dad fell through recently for numerous reasons... most of which could be associated with their combined drinking habits (though there are more nuances to this then I can possibly get into, or even want to). My Dad confided details about their "casual" drinking sessions they had EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK. It was only when my Dad was out of the job and forced into sobriety, did he realise how much they actually spent on alcohol on a weekly basis (it trumped all the monthly bills, combined, in one week of drinking). My dad has made an active effort to change his drinking habits (with an impressive degree of success), as he describes his old habits, upon reflection, as simply "disgusting" and "unimaginably depressing". He admits that it was a critical flaw in his and my mothers relationship.

Spoiler: Life experience B

I have a friend who was adament that he was aware of everything and was fully in control of himself on his nights out... few blackouts not withstanding. This was, of course, until a video showing some of his drunking antics ended up on youtube... and linked ad nauseam on facebook. Safe to say this was social suicide at it's finest (or worst, depending on the point been made). Within a week of this event, he lost his girlfriend of 2 years, lost his part time job (got linked to his bosses FB wall, and the companies FB wall as well), lost a good few of his "drinking" buddies and as a result, took a massive knock to his self-esteem and couldn't even face his family (who also got the video). 3 Years later, he has a new girlfriend, me and a good few other long term friends stuck around and supported him (we knew his sober self was a better person) and his self-esteem is back to it's former glory (which is actually saying something, the man has limitless confidence even when sober). He also DOESN'T drink, but for special occassions and he limits himself when he does so.

I can't stress this enough... the effort he had to exhaust to change their ways was mentally and emotionally draining, on him and his friends. The "drinking buddies" all bailed on him pretty rapidly due to his new found "buzzkilling" view on his life. While his core FRIENDS stuck by him, with varying levels of compassion and scorn, but ultimately in a bid to help him. He's better without the stuff.

Spoiler: My Drinking Habits

I drink, but I don't get drunk. I didn't start drinking until I was 19, and even then I have never drank more then 2 pints or 1 liquor a night (2-3 liquors on special occasions). If I go out to a pub, I usually spend 3 or more hours with my friends, sharing stories, having the craic and generally just being sociable... but the drink is not the catalyst, the quiet locals are just a great place for mellowing out and chatting. Those who want a wilder night, I leave them to it and go home, content with the night I had. A few of my social nights are down at the pool/snooker hall cum pub or the bowling alley, other nights is the Cinema, mostly though, we crash in one or the others gaff, open some cans or grab a pizza (or both) and catch a film. The nights we have in, the most drink we have is 2-3 cans each. We never get hammered in other peoples houses, that's just simple courtesy.

TL/DR If your reading this first then you have no interest in hearing the flipside of your whimsical and carefree approach to social drinking. But the general gist of my post is this: Drinking is a social crutch and a double edged sword. It's virtues are in the minimal. Where you think it's making you braver and building your esteem, it might, in fact, actually be making you stupid and crippling your social image.

Also, a few Honest questions... I presume you have friends you made through drinking right? Tell me, how many of those friends would you invite over to a non-drinking event? How many would trust with confidential or private matters? How many of them would you go to when your in a pinch? If you answered no in regards to any such "friend" then they are NOT friends... they are ambience to your drinking.

OP: I drink, but I have no delusions as to what drunkeness entails. Sobriety is not socially crippling if you work at it. Inebriation is a temporary and flawed substitute to genuine courage and confidence.

EDIT: By all means, get drunk if that's what you want. I still have good friends who go out on a binge every so often, with no ill effect bar the morning after. Just be careful... the damage caused by irresponsible drinking is variable, infectious and is not easily remedied and sometimes catastrophic to your life (and to those who associate with you).

 

[Ragsnstitches]

And while clinically depressed people do correctly take drugs, you will note that I didn't say they didn't or shouldn't do that. I pointed out that there is therapy needed if drugging is the only way you can "be yourself". Also clinically depressed people don't actually get to feel like themselves with drugs, it just takes the edge off of things so they can use the therapy and other life skill tools like CBT to get back to themselves. Pretty much all psychiatrists will take that position, find me some that say self drugging with booze is an equally valid therapeutic treatment.

I'm with you on this. Even ignoring the Clinical aspects of drug use, social drinking/drugging is not a character enhancer. As I mentioned in the post above, a person is essentially, the sum of all his/her parts. The doubts and inhibitions are as much a part of you as your sense of humour, your personal interests and even your sexual preferences.

The "de-masking" effect of drinking/drugging is actually a loss to ones character, not a boon. You are essentially numbing natural safeguards when you drink to the point it has an effect on you and when your hammered you've likely shut them off entirely, along with a loss in motor control and cognition. In the wrong environment this can be very dangerous.

Drinking (and drugging) in social scenes are crutches, while simultaneously being Double Edged swords. While they may give temporary gratification, or make you seemingly braver/stronger and more confident, the reality is you are simply suppressing core aspects of your person and likely making you stupid.

EDIT: As I also said in my above post, the true testament to a persons courage and a far greater boon to their confidence, is the ability to control their Natural Safeguards so that it doesn't interfere with your normal everyday life. It's harder for sure... but drink is a false solution.

 

[SilentCom]

I rather like being clear-headed and being able to remember things. Of course, I wouldn't know how it feels being drunk because I tend to stay away from alcohol.

 

[crazyarms33]

I think this is the first time I've seen someone SERIOUSLY campaigning for people to "be drunk more often." Nothing wrong with getting drunk in an appropriate place at an appropriate time, but most people think people who think being at least a little drunk most of the day a good thing, well, are bad people.

As someone who's never been drunk before in his life, I can safely say I never wish to be drunk, ever. "Oh, how can you knock something if you haven't tried it?" Well, I've seen what it can do to people, and how it affects others, and I don't consider it worth the risk. It probably helps that I'm a loner type, though, so there's little pressure to socialize.

So if you want to get drunk, TC, then by all means, that's your business and your legal right (... you are 21, I assume). But there's no way you'll ever convince me that sobriety sucks. That's basically saying "being conscious sucks" and the only way to be happy is to be drunk.

I agree with the principles of what you're saying, if not the fine details. I agree that being drunk isn't and shouldn't be an every day event and it should only happen in certain places where it is socially acceptable. But comparing consciousness to sobriety is a stretch, to me at least. I do drink and I have been drunk. You're just as conscious drunk as you are sober. You just act like a fool or jackass instead of "normal" for you.

 

[Talshere]

Well Im pretty much teetotal and have now been for some years.

I used to drink a fair amount but Ive come to the conclusion that by and large drunk is a state of mine. I dont need to be pissed to try and fit myself into a tiny hole under the stairs because my mate didnt think I could. I dont need to be drunk to headbang and I dont need to be drunk to spew ridiculous philosophy at 4am.

It helps if your a reserved person but once you learn to stop caring what people think and just go with the flow its not a hug deal.

 

[z121231211]

I don't really care about drinking or doing drugs once in a while. Though I believe that if you're relying on drinking and drugs to have a good time you should probably find a different past-time.

 

[Duck Sandwich]

I once got a hangover. Headaches, sluggishness, and oversensitivity to bright lights just weren't worth it for me.

Drunk people can be fun to talk to. I find that generally, people are more willing to have long, thoughtful, engaging conversations after they've had at least a few drinks. Then again, personally, I'm willing to engage in said conversations even when I'm perfectly sober.

 

[gyroscopeboy]

No. I like being able to think, recall, talk and otherwise act like a reasonable person.

I like those things, too. I've never understood how people can even call it "fun" if they have to call 20 different people the next day to figure out exactly what happened.

Anyway, I hate to be "that person," but I think the mentality the OP has cited is what most would call addiction. Not good, just...not good. Get some help.

It looked fun in The Hangover!

 

[DreamingMacaron]

People on either side of the debate might find this interesting:

http://hellobubs.com/post/17052863136/i-havent-been-drunk-in-3-years-and-ive-been

 

[Mugen]

There's a difference between being pissed/drunk, being tipsy and just having a slight buzz.

If not a day goes by that he isn't drunk at some point, then yes, that's pretty bad. If he just has a couple of beers in him at a time, then fine.

But screw alcohol, I'm not a fan anymore. I've had my share of passing out at uni.

I'm all about the weed now anyway. I never understood people when they said they preferred being high to drunk and this culture of marijuana worship, but I totally get it now I'm at the party. I primarily smoke so that I can eat (acid reflux), and insomnia. Nothing is better than being able to sleep without resorting to pills and prescription only medicine.

I'm pretty baked.

you, sir, are a legend.

 

[Vault101]

Im dont know

on one hand Ive had the odd drink (and drunken to the point of throwing up) Ive never blacked out or not been able to remember, I think I may be physically incapable of drinking that much

I mean Im all for having a drink and going all out now and again, I had a good old time at my cousens engangment party

but if you need alchhol or whatever to actually fuction during the day..if theres not a moment where you dont want to be on somthing.....then yeah, that makes me think youre kind of incapable of enjoying life as is..I find that kind of pathetic, if that makes me self rightious I apologise

I find the self rightous twats less anoying than the "DURR HURR ALCHAHOLZ DA BEST EVA!" crowd

 

[Mugen]

Lotto whinin in this thread. Getting drunk is fun. Sobriety is overrated, and the most irritating thing about teetotalers is there self important 'i'm better than you because I don't drink' mentality. Stop taking life so seriously.

I have one hell of a hangover. I'm gonna watch shit tv, and smoke.

What I don't like is the people who depend on mind-altering drugs to enjoy life telling me I'm missing out on some magical train ride to Charlie's Chocolate Factory or something. I've given drinking a try. I've been drunk on multiple occasions. It's NEVER fun, and I'm not the kind of guy who enjoys that stuff. I was in a fraternity for a year and they partied all the time and it annoyed the ever-loving hell out of me. The only reason I subjected myself to that was so many people like yourself telling me what is and isn't right, that there can't possibly be a person who has a differing opinion from theirs and honestly doesn't enjoy getting drunk, rowdy and "partying," to where I thought that was just the truth and I just needed to learn to like it/live with it.

Drunkness is what is overrated. You stumble over things, vomit and make a massive fool of yourself everywhere you go. You seem to need to throw money at an overpriced, nasty beverage to enjoy yourself.

That said, I generally just let drunks be drunks and get on with life. I don't get why you do what you do, but who gives a damn what you do, as long as you don't keep me up at 3 AM blasting music at your apartment because WHO CARES LOL UR DRUNK!!! I'm otherwise a pretty tolerant guy. It's just that you need to show some tolerance of your own. People like different things. It's a fact of life.

i feel that paraphrasing Bill Hicks is what is called for in this situation.

''I'd quit, if i wasn't so afraid id end up like you''.

I really don't think you have enough experience with drinking to warrant such a strong opinion. I know plenty of sober types who stumble, not so much vomit, but generally make fools of themselves.

In fact i live with just such a guy, and he too complains about loud music and late nights.

and do you know how often he gets laid?

 

[Eventidal]

-snip-

i feel that paraphrasing Bill Hicks is what is called for in this situation.

''I'd quit, if i wasn't so afraid id end up like you''.

I really don't think you have enough experience with drinking to warrant such a strong opinion. I know plenty of sober types who stumble, not so much vomit, but generally make fools of themselves.

In fact i live with just such a guy, and he too complains about loud music and late nights.

and do you know how often he gets laid?

If it means anything to you, I get laid every few days, if not more often.

You don't have to want to be like me. In most circles around here I would be considered a boring guy. I'm not the sort you want to drink around a lot and definitely not the guy to take to a party. I know how to have fun and socialize and I do it in my own way, without alcohol. If suddenly being perma-sober made you like me, I'd be pretty surprised.

For the sake of curiosity, how much drinking experience would be "enough" here? I've been drunk a few times, had my moments of stumbling and being an idiot, experienced the pleasure of a hurried trip to the bathroom after one too many, as well as the delight of waking up next to a pile of someone else's puke, and have been around drunk college frat boys and crazy loud parties for most of 4 years now. My own first-personal experience with being drunk is more limited than my experience with dealing with other people who are drunk, but I think I've given it plenty enough tries with different people and settings to know what it's like and that it's not for me.

Really, it's just a personal opinion. People are different and like different things. But what I don't tolerate is people messing up my sleep. That idea that it's okay to be loud and obnoxious at ridiculous hours because to do otherwise might inhibit YOUR fun a bit is absurd. Few things in the world fill me with the burning desire to shoot someone in the face more than that kind of "fuck everyone else" attitude.

 

[beefprophet]

Ya know, I really don't get the appeal of beer. To me it just kind of tastes like crap.

But hey, if it's your thing then go ahead. Just don't hit the road before you're sober...