Something funny you heard today.

[Captain Pirate]

Simple: Say something you heard today (Or yesterday if you must) that made you laugh. Spread the laughter, people!
I'll say mine: I was talking to my friends about why Americans celebrate the 4th of July, I never knew until today, and one told us other two it was because it was the day they became independant; no longer a part with us Brits. My other friend said "So why are they celebrating?!"
Don't start a flame war about it, it just made me chuckle.

 

[Sir Kemper]

Well, this video, if it counts:

 

[Ekonk]

A joke!

So two WWOII-era German spies walk into a English pub, to socialize. They walk up to the barman and say "Two sherry please."
The barman asks: "Dry sherry?"
To which the germans say

Spoiler

"NEIN ZWEI!!!"

The German part must be yelled at the top of lung for added hilarity