SON!! I broke the computer!!

[Eri]

When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.

I know a few people (my girlfriend included), who type English essays like that.
They never taught typing in school...

Actually, that includes me as well. I literally cannot learn how to touch-type - I don't have the coordination or multitasking skills to move all of my fingers quickly enough to do so. However, I could hardly be considered computer-illiterate.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.85690-Esoteric-Operating-Systems-The-History-of-OS-360-and-its-successors

This is something that I typed using only my index fingers. Of course, I've picked up some sort of pace using this rather than touch-typing, and also can type moderately quickly with my thumbs.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.155147-The-iPhone-An-Updated-Criticism

8,000 words, written entirely using thumbs and a tiny keyboard.

Props then. If someone told me I had to write that using just those fingers, I'd sooner kill myself.

 

[_tinned_magpie_]

WEP key

WEP key..Really? It's WPA2 at this point or you might as well not even bother.

Yep, you're right there - I figured that one out the hard way. It was actually WPA2 that was in use, but I'm a daft sod and still say WEP in general conversation rather than WPA2. What can I say? I might be the one who does all the donkey work in my house, but I'm sure as hell no expert.

 

[Keepitclean]

My sister installed "Smiley Central" or something like that, where you get free "smiley's".
Needless to say, we got tonnes of viruses on our computer, and I got the blame because I use it the most.

Who does that?

Managed to get rid of the viruses, but if I hadn't, I would have had to pay for a new computer. Even though I told them countless times it was my sisters fault. [/rage]

If there's one thing I've learned, it is that the girl NEVER gets blamed for the computer fucking up. It is always "but it did it itself!" or "Well I didnt do it". Well considering I'm not a complete retard, I'm pretty sure you did. If I sound a bit bitter, it's due to my sister doing this.

I feel you mate. Not once but twice my sister has fucked up computers from MSN viruses and similar things. It's bullshit. I get the blame because I use the computer the most.

One thing that annoys the shit out of me is when there is any problem at all with a computer they respond with "ZOMG! Virus!" It's really annoying.

Wireless internet not working; virus
Computer slighty slower than usual; virus
Can't find a file; virus stole it

 

[gxs]

I get blamed for everything that resembles a computer in our house.
The first thing my father says is: "Did you update my computer again?" Funny enough all his problems come from me updating his OS and drivers even if I don't even touch his computer.

 

[kazork]

My dad is pretty good with computers. He installed the network and even included stuf like the printer and there music system in the network. So he nows his bits and bytes.

But he still double clicks every internet link.

 

[Xyphon]

When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.

Hey.... I type like that! D:< (but faster, however)

With my parents, anything computer related is impossible. Even after explaining to them for 5 years, they STILL can't figure out how to turn the computer off. -.-

 

[Outright Villainy]

When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.

I know a few people (my girlfriend included), who type English essays like that.
They never taught typing in school...

Actually, that includes me as well. I literally cannot learn how to touch-type - I don't have the coordination or multitasking skills to move all of my fingers quickly enough to do so. However, I could hardly be considered computer-illiterate.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.85690-Esoteric-Operating-Systems-The-History-of-OS-360-and-its-successors

This is something that I typed using only my index fingers. Of course, I've picked up some sort of pace using this rather than touch-typing, and also can type moderately quickly with my thumbs.

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/326.155147-The-iPhone-An-Updated-Criticism

8,000 words, written entirely using thumbs and a tiny keyboard.

Well I certainly feel very lazy now; I probably wouldn't have the patience to get through this sentence if I couldn't use all my fingers. Kudos for doing your own thing though!
How fast can you type like that?

 

[Kukakkau]

When my mom is borrowing the computer to check some website, she types with only her index fingers. And it goes slooow. Always makes me cringe.

I see your mum index typing and raise you a dad as well. And they both like to have me check their typing for emails etc...sometimes one after and another. 2 emails can take away 30mins of my day

 

[nixubaby]

My naughbor is quite old and doesn't use computers that much. She also has a daughter who only uses their for random internet surfing. Neither of them seem to understand that MABY a virus scanner would be a handy thing to have on a computer. It takes them about two months to forget what the mysterious program I installed did, and to delete it. Then i get called to sort out the mess they made and reinstal some sort of antivir program. If i didn't get the bakings of the said old lady as thanks i would have stopped doing it ages ago.

 

[teutonicman]

Power cycle.... that is all

 

[hyperhammy]

I ROFLMAO whenever I see someone typing with only one finger and being like: "Where is the god damn E button?!" Plus this guy is my age, so not even that old.

 

[Megacherv]

Since it's 4chan, I don't take it entirely at face value, but it's not unbelievable. And it's incredibly funny. "Deleted the internet" is my new favourite phrase.

Reminds me of the IT Crowd.


OP: Thankfully, my parents are just as tech savvy as I am. My dad started working with computers back in the late 70's, so he's a long termer.

I've only just noticed that they have an xkcd Map of the Internet poster

 

[Queen Michael]

My stepdad once told us that we needed to erase all computer programs we weren't going to use, since having programs you don't use slows down the Internet. First of all: He had thought "maybe that's what slows down our Internet connection" and taken for granted that this idea, which he had made up on the spot, was a fact. Secondly: My brother and I told him that's not how it works, and even though he KNEW we're more computer-savvy than he is, he was certain he wa right. Thirdly: We had eighty gigs of space free at the time, we still do.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Well i'm happy the times are over were i had to assist my mom with problems like "How do i get my CD back out of it?"
But my father (who has worked with computers for a good 20 years now, still is incredibly slow with it, he never uses things like the close [x] because its "only for emergencies and you have to go to the browser menu and click on "Close" there, because it will damage the program if you don't" " But dad, its like a link to that, you know, you know links of course"
"off course i do , i work with computers for over 20 years don't dare to talk as if you know better"

 

[Diligent]

My mom wanted me to help send some girls she met on a trip photos of said trip. I figured easy enough. I assumed I'd be showing her how to pull the photos off her new camera and slapping them onto facebook or something, but no no...

There were hundreds of photos, and she wanted their files to be renamed individually to be a description of the photo, and she wanted them to be compiled on a DVD so that she could mail it to California in the post.

While trying to explain why this was a waste of time, I noticed how poorly the computer was doing EVERYTHING. Then I noticed that she had both Limewire and Kazaa installed which was put there by one of her work friends. I told her to get rid of that shit.
A couple weeks later when I visit her again, it's still there, and she's downloaded a bunch of songs that she "can't get rid of for some reason."
They're songs that clearly never existed like "Metallica and Nirvana live collaboration.mp3"
They turned out to be songs by Wesley Willis, which is hilarious for moms to discover...look him up if you don't know it, you'll see.

 

[Funkysandwich]

As soon as I read the title, I was reminded of this:

Spoiler

OT: I don't have to deal with these kind of problems very much because my dad is pretty tech literate, my Mother and Sister on the other hand...

When I went to Japan for a week, they had no internet for most of the week because they didn't know how to restart the router.

As soon as I find some paper, that is going on my wall.

 

[Sebenko]

My dad bought a Mac.

Alright, maybe a little qualification is needed here.

He bought it because they were "popular". Even though I told him not to.
So now when he needs something fixing, he can't explain it, and I have to work out a whole new operating system. Usually something caused by it being a mac in the first place (trying to run the windows versions of programs and the like).

 

[Nbasa Whiteye]

I love this thread ... every single post here has happened to me at one point in my life
As someone said I am supposed to know the inner workings of every single appliance and every single program on this earth just because studied computer sciences. And if i dont, well lets just say my sister doesn't lack words to explain to me how stupid I am. The thing is I always say that is the last time I will ever help her because of her attitude and then later I just go through it again.
OT: once she annoyed me for a good week to copy some dvds of her wedding for her. I tried explaining that it is very simple and that i could talk her through it over the phone but noooooo. I HAD to do it because she doesn't know how. That is the only time I tried to take a stand but it just ended up with everybody in my family getting angry at me for not wanting to help.
Other than this there have been a bunch of virus alerts but my favourite is when she said that Norton pops up a message saying she has a virus. Now since I am the only one who services her computer and I know I only installed AVG free I asked her why did she install Norton. Of course she said she didn't install anything. So now I'm the bastard who is trying to blame her for installing something she knows she didn't.
To sum it up I have a very ungrateful sister.

 

[Dexiro]

WEP key

WEP key..Really? It's WPA2 at this point or you might as well not even bother.

Does WEP suck or something? That's what i use. Not even sure my router has settings for anything else.

OT: My hand has been glued to my face for the duration of this thread. I love reading stuff like this but i'm not tolerant at all of computer illiterate people.
My parents are ok usually and just ask for help when it's needed and don't go making words up to sound like they're smarter. No deleting of the internet or whatever.

The worst i've had is people constantly blaming me for putting viruses on their PC. If it's not my PC i'm generally careful to make sure i don't go on risky sites and stick to sites like this, still the second i come off it my Dad flails around bellowing "VIRASSS" even though there's nothing fucking wrong with the computer.
On the rare occasion that there is actually a virus i still get the blame just because i use the computer the most.

 

[Tekkawarrior]

FW:FW: SEND THIS EMAIL TO 20 FRIENDS OR HOTMAIL WILL CLOSE YOUR ACCOUNT

Me: "Stop sending me this crap sis"
Her: "But I don't want to lose my hotmail account, I've had it for years"

*facepalm*