Sonic Characters Rant

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weirdaljedifan2

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Apr 12, 2008
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After finishing Sonic Rush as Blaze, you see a slideshow-type cinematic where Blaze is digging through the remains of the gigantic robot you just killed looking for Cream, who then falls from the sky and hugs Blaze and thanks her for saving her, and Blaze calls themselves friends.

After seeing that, I first went,"Awwww" and then the credits rolled and while the credits rolled, I had something that I call a Gamer's Epiphany, where I suddenly realized that Blaze is one of the only characters who don't piss me off.

You see, after I finished the game, I pretty much fell in love with the character because she has a personality of someone you can get along with. To make my point, I will give my own description of the characters.

Sonic is the fastest hedgehog in the world, but he doesn't have to be so goddamn cocky about it. Seriously, he seems like the popular jock jackass antagonist in a crappy '80s or '90s teen movie. And one thing I noticed was that Jason Griffith seems to act better when Sonic is supposed to be serious, weird.

Amy is a stereotypical, dumb-blondish girly-girl with anger management issues and Obsessive Male Hedgehog Disorder.(OMHD) It's no wonder the hard core Sonic fans hate her but, now that I think about, nah, they just want to see Sonic be paired up with Sally Acorn, the squirrel from the SatAM show and comics.(Get it, Acorn, squirrel. HA HA not funny)

Tails is a pretty useless character unless you play as him.(Sonic 3, Sonic Adventure 2) He's supposed to be 6-years-old but I find that hard to believe sense he has a brain the size of a freaking Commodore. The only time I ever saw him being characterized as a 6-year-old is in the SatAM show. He's not a character I hate, he just isn't 6 in the games.

I don't like Knuckles because he's way to freaking suspicious of almost everyone but then again he's the only character who hates Sonic's cocky personality. I don't know, I just don't like him.

Shadow is emo, and for those who think that emos are cool, let me ask you this. What is cool about being whiny enough to not stand the reality that life sucks but can't kill themselves for some reason and just cut themselves again for some reason?

Cream is a character I like because she actually acts 5-years-old. She's happy, she wants to be everybody's friend, and she is probably the only character who has a family member in the games, her mother Vanilla.(oh HA HA) Sonic has a brother named Manic and a sister named Sonia, but they were in the Sonic Underground TV show and were never heard from again.

Rouge is a slut, Vector, Espio, Charmy, and Omega I don't care about. I don't know to much about Silver so I guess that about wraps that up.

Blaze shall forever be my second most favorite video game character of all time, number 1... Kirby. It's a shame that Blaze died in Sonic '06, oh wait.
 

Wellby

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Aug 16, 2008
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in all honesty, i didn't read ur starting comment. This is because i think that sonic has over complicated an already nonsensical plot, thats explenation is completely unnecessary. OH and shadows attempt to pry at the "cool" crowd is a complete failure, that just makes the series look childish! in all honesty, i think they should let this series stay buried in the ground, because its starting to rot
 

Cid Silverwing

Paladin of The Light
Jul 27, 2008
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Why SEGA didn't just stop making all these Sonic games when they got royally ass-raped to the 13 hells on the Dreamcast by the PS2 is beyond me. Every single Sonic game that came out after that were and still are essentially undead carcasses on life support pretending to be full of life.

And don't even get me started on Sonic being in Smash Brothers Brawl.
 

Syphonz

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Aug 22, 2008
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Knuckles is really the only character i enjoy playing, that and when you see him in Sonic 3 & Knuckles all his appearences are just funny.
 

SecretTacoNinja

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Jul 8, 2008
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I hate, every single Sonic character but the original (not what we call 'clone' Sonic characters, i.e when they made the jump to 3D and gave them shitty voices) Sonic, Knuckles and Tails. I really like Knuckles because one of my favourite games is Sonic & Knuckles for Mega Drive and I loved him in that game, it was only in the cartoons and new games that he turned into a douche. When they gave the characters voices, Sonic turned into an annoying asshole, Knuckles turned into a dumbass and Tails into a 6 year old. The rest I find annoying, the only one I don't despise is Blaze because she hasn't done anything to annoy me, yet.
Oh and I hated Sonic Rush. And I find it hard to believe that Tails is 6, because he can pick up Sonic and fly.
 

ThePlasmatizer

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Sep 2, 2008
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I don't like Sonic, the Sonic characters and a lot of the games.
They obviously don't know how to develop characters or create a plot, so they should have just kept it simple.
 

weirdaljedifan2

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Apr 12, 2008
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ThePlasmatizer post=9.70157.699957 said:
I don't like Sonic, the Sonic characters and a lot of the games.
They obviously don't know how to develop characters or create a plot, so they should have just kept it simple.
That is exactly what the developers of Kirby did, kept it simple. And what was there reward? Not a single bad game in the main franchise(not including spin-offs). I'm wondering if Sonic Team will ever make it simple again.
 

The Wooster

King Snap
Jul 15, 2008
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You're obviously invested enough in these characters to think up detailed reasons why you hate them. That my friend, is what makes Sega bring out more of them.
 

Copter400

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Sep 14, 2007
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http://theslackerz.com/index.php?Page=46

All the Sonic characters are pretty goddamn retarded.
 

SargentToughie

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Jun 14, 2008
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Wow... taking a look at the dates, I realize that Blazing angel has brought this thread back from the grave... how about that?
 

weirdaljedifan2

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Apr 12, 2008
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Decoy Doctorpus post=9.70157.700154 said:
You're obviously invested enough in these characters to think up detailed reasons why you hate them. That my friend, is what makes Sega bring out more of them.
Shit.