SPIDERS, EVERYWHERE

[Not-here-anymore]

In all honesty, bad-ass one-liners really aren't my thing.

So whilst stabbing an abomination of a spider with the arrow that's currently mounted on my wall, I'd probably just be screaming "Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck..."

No, wait, I've got it!
"8 icky eyes, on the giant spider
8 icky eyes, on the giant spider
And if one icky eye gets stabbed repeatedly
There'll be 7 icky eyes, on the giant spider"

To the tune of 10 green bottles.

 

[Peteron]

Creatures with an exoskeleton can't exist over a certain size. Similarly, creatures with endoskeletons (What we have) can't exist under a certain size. They'd crush themselves.

Yes, and normally arachnids don't team up to conquer a city, plus, no specific size was mentioned. I am sure this guy wasn't asking a question to be corrected, but rather, receive an answer, assuming that giant spiders existed, and were able to take over cities.

As for me, well, honestly, I would probably be dead, seeing as the most lethal tool I have at my disposal is a pencil and an empty can of Coca Cola.

You could have at least said "Let me draw you a map... TO HELL!!!"

...good luck with a one line from a can of coke though...

Hmm...perhaps I could say...let me give you a refreshing sensation....to hell? Anybody?

 

[AceAngel]

Itsy-bitsy spider, with a boomstick up its spout...

Blimey, try saying that 10 times quickly...

yeah I'm making myself look like I'm camping my own thread =P

The funny thing is, the movie had a better 'mall scene', then most zombie movies do...which is just sad...

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

Hmm...perhaps I could say...let me give you a refreshing sensation....to hell? Anybody?

...I like the way you think...

 

[teh_Canape]

The funny thing is, the movie had a better 'mall scene', then most zombie movies do...which is just sad...

don't know if better

but more original, yes

 

[Mr.Squishy]

As I kill a spider in a hilarious manner, I will confidently say "I lolth".

 

[AceAngel]

The funny thing is, the movie had a better 'mall scene', then most zombie movies do...which is just sad...

don't know if better

but more original, yes

You really are camping your own thread aren't you?

 

[hittite]

As I bludgeon it to death with a PC, "Lolth will not save you now!"

"Screw the Lloth of you!"?

... Ow. If whatever weapon you have doesn't kill them that pun will. It was physically painful to comprehend.

 

[roguetrooper96]

Grab a rifle from the near by gun store and when I kill one I'd shout "Spie-der and shot her!"

 

[teh_Canape]

You really are camping your own thread aren't you?

sort of

really, I didn't expected such epic replies =P

(besides, the quote stuff brings me here, you know...)

 

[hittite]

As I kill a spider in a hilarious manner, I will confidently say "I lolth".

Okay, I know I started it, but please guys, stop. That one just about killed me.

 

[emeraldrafael]

I'd just use my fencing sword I was finally allowed to bring to the university (as long as i leave it locked in a special case in the Dean's office and I can only use under the constant supervision of a police officer and must teach others productively).

Then I'd just say Tom Sawyer has nothing on me.

 

[ThatLankyBastard]

Grab a rifle from the near by gun store and when I kill one I'd shout "Spie-der and shot her!"

Or how about "Spie-der? I barely know her!"

 

[Harrowdown]

I get a big old bat and shout, "AH FUCK SPIDERS!"

 

[Lazy Kitty]

Well, since they've only taken over the city...
The room is pretty small, so the spider'll only be dog-sized.
I have some scissors and knives here...
And what do I need epic one-liners for if there's noone around to her them?

Had they taken over the world and become the dominant species, I'd just have transformed into arachnid mode and lived with the spiders until another species became the dominant one.

 

[teh_Canape]

Well, since they've only taken over the city...
The room is pretty small, so the spider'll only be dog-sized.
I have some scissors and knives here...
And what do I need epic one-liners for if there's noone around to her them?

Had they taken over the world and become the dominant species, I'd just have transformed into arachnid mode and lived with the spiders until another species became the dominant one.

they have taken over the whole city, yes
the spider would not be dog sized, would be idk, truck sized, you can think if it actually got in the room or just stuck at the door
and you need epic one-liners to make said insect acknowledge it's impending doom and rise your manliness

they have just taken over the city

jeez folks, it's not supposed to have that many rules =P

 

[OneOfTheMichael's]

Fortuanly, the room i'm in is also the dinning room, living room and kitchen so i run to the drawer and grab all the knives i can and fight off that 8 legged bug eyed freak!

 

[Treeinthewoods]

As I grab my trusty three hole punch and shades -

It looks like eight legs *puts on sunglasses* is about to get three holes. YEEEEAAAHHH!

As I grab my trusty desk phone and shades -

Eight legs *puts on sunglasses* gets one call. YEEEEAAHHH!

 

[A Gentelmenly Moron]

I grabbed a large kitchen knife.

'I'M GOIN' COOKING MOMMA ON YOUR ***ES!!!

 

[Kimarous]

Spoiler: Now in motivational form!