Well, it's out now so I figure for those that've seen it we should have a nice place that those whom don't want spoilers can avoid.
So..
So..
Gah, I mean, I went in with low expectations, but, uh.
I've maintained since Super8 Abrams can't make a good movie, technically fine, but there's never any heart, and here he goes again.
Seemingly going for both Tattooine and Dagobah with the first worlds we visit it's all so nostalgia callbacks and coincidence - manage to crash the Tie on the right part of the planet to be able to walk to meet the droid? Five minutes in space and Han finds his lost ship?
Speaking of Han, who the hell wrote his dialogue? With the whole "I'm going to flat out explain character motivations and fill in plot details we a) couldn't be bothered shooting or b) think you're too dumb to discern" and talk about telegraphing what happens towards the end, you could see that coming from half way through the film.
Which circles back around to Abrams not knowing how to make a good film and simply checking off boxes on a list of big things that have to happen, everyone likes the death star, let's make a bigger one, that can some how shoot light faster than light speed..
And the one liners, god, I thought they were bad enough in Star Trek but they're even worse here - and I know bad jokes, I do stand-up most Wednesdays!
People like Leia as a strong independent woman, ok, let's make one out of Luke's daughter (only hire someone who can't act), Lando seems to be the only black guy in space, ok, let's make a central character a black guy, (oh, and for some reason he's a stormtrooper even though they have to be matured at a normal rate and prone to disobedience unlike clones..), cameo's from all the previous cast, Kevin Smith made a throwaway comment in Clerks that "you think the average Stormtrooper knows how to fit a toilet" let's make one a 'Sanitation' worker to show our geek cred and we know the universe.
On top of it all it suffers from the en vogue Hollywood fad of too much action. Yes, too much. Less is more, that stupid scene with the big cgi rolling tentacle balls on Han's ship - did it further the plot, was it needed, hell no, and it was stupid ass to boot.
Many more scenes like this litter the film, it's a Sci-Fantasy series, not Sci-Action (though, I made the same argument when he ruined the Sci-Fiction Star Trek and turned that into a Sci-Action flick).
Ultimately, it comes down to the main problem with all Abrams films, it has no heart, and that's why it doesn't deserve to be a Star Wars movie. The original trilogy have heart, so much so people have made it a religion, this, it's a popcorn flick, mindless, forgotten.
I've maintained since Super8 Abrams can't make a good movie, technically fine, but there's never any heart, and here he goes again.
Seemingly going for both Tattooine and Dagobah with the first worlds we visit it's all so nostalgia callbacks and coincidence - manage to crash the Tie on the right part of the planet to be able to walk to meet the droid? Five minutes in space and Han finds his lost ship?
Speaking of Han, who the hell wrote his dialogue? With the whole "I'm going to flat out explain character motivations and fill in plot details we a) couldn't be bothered shooting or b) think you're too dumb to discern" and talk about telegraphing what happens towards the end, you could see that coming from half way through the film.
Which circles back around to Abrams not knowing how to make a good film and simply checking off boxes on a list of big things that have to happen, everyone likes the death star, let's make a bigger one, that can some how shoot light faster than light speed..
And the one liners, god, I thought they were bad enough in Star Trek but they're even worse here - and I know bad jokes, I do stand-up most Wednesdays!
People like Leia as a strong independent woman, ok, let's make one out of Luke's daughter (only hire someone who can't act), Lando seems to be the only black guy in space, ok, let's make a central character a black guy, (oh, and for some reason he's a stormtrooper even though they have to be matured at a normal rate and prone to disobedience unlike clones..), cameo's from all the previous cast, Kevin Smith made a throwaway comment in Clerks that "you think the average Stormtrooper knows how to fit a toilet" let's make one a 'Sanitation' worker to show our geek cred and we know the universe.
On top of it all it suffers from the en vogue Hollywood fad of too much action. Yes, too much. Less is more, that stupid scene with the big cgi rolling tentacle balls on Han's ship - did it further the plot, was it needed, hell no, and it was stupid ass to boot.
Many more scenes like this litter the film, it's a Sci-Fantasy series, not Sci-Action (though, I made the same argument when he ruined the Sci-Fiction Star Trek and turned that into a Sci-Action flick).
Ultimately, it comes down to the main problem with all Abrams films, it has no heart, and that's why it doesn't deserve to be a Star Wars movie. The original trilogy have heart, so much so people have made it a religion, this, it's a popcorn flick, mindless, forgotten.